Here They Come

 

 

Oh boy! Can't you feel the excitement?

Next year, The Republican Party will nominate a candidate for President. Here's a quick look at the potential candidates and their odds of winning the nomination.

Former President Donald J. Trump.  He's been running since he left D.C. without bothering to go to Joe Biden's Inauguration. Since then, he's been commenting daily on how the election was stolen from him. Yadda, yadda, yadda.  He's got a strong hold of about 35% of The GOP electorate, which considers everybody a RINO  except for Trump. So it becomes a matter of simple math. If the GOP field includes a bunch of candidates, Trump will win. If not, and the GOP fields only a couple of candidates, things get dicier for Trump to win. A lot of people are already anointing him as the nominee mainly because Trump tends to get what Trump wants (Casinos, Super Models, Porn Stars, and the Presidency)  I'm not so sure.  There's a "been there-done that" vibe to this time around.  Trump is doing the same shtick he's always done and voters might be tired of it in 2024

Gov. Ron DeSantis.  The Florida governor is not like the last Florida governor Trump beat up in 2016.  He's young and intelligent.  He's attracting negative attention on Twitter because he's seen as the heir apparent to Trump and is quickly becoming The Florida Man Hitler. If he gets Trump one-on-one early, I think he can become the nominee. If not, he'll get lost because his vote will be split between the other Non-Trump candidates.

 

 

Sen. Ted Cruz.   The guy who came in second in 2016.  In the world BT (Before Trump), Cruz would be the nominee because the GOP always nominated The Guy Who Came In Second the next time.Think of Romney, McCain, Dole, and Dad Bush. (Bill Clinton's great quote: "Democrats fall in love and Republicans fall in line".)  Even though he is very intellegent, Cruz has one of the most punchable faces in politics since Richard Nixon. Sorry, Ted, you don't have a prayer.

 

 

 

Gov. Chris Christie.  Way back when, this blog predicted that Chris Christie would become President simply because he was the exact opposite of President Obama.  Turns out another husky loud mouth won instead.  Christie tried to help Trump, which Trump listened to maybe twenty per-cent of the time.  Christie had the best line about Trump as President when he said Trump reminded him of a salesman that worked out of the trunk of his car.  Christie is bright and articulate.  He is also fat—William Howard Taft fat.  Body shaming will come back in style if Christie becomes the nominee.  Can Christie win? Fat chance. (Sorry)

 

 

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo.  Here's how I knew Pompeo would run for President: he lost a lot of weight.  He looks good and could be a spokesman for Nutrisystem if the Presidential thing doesn't work out. Which it probably won't.  Pompeo is another one of those success stories- he graduated first in his class from West Point, he was a Congressman, along with being Secretary of State. He definitely has the candle power to be President.  However, he doesn't give out hats like Trump does. He could, maybe, possibly, become Trump's 2.0 running mate.  I just don't see him winning.

 

 

Ambassador Nikki Haley.  I find Haley's candidacy exciting  and I'm not just saying that because she's easy on the eyes, unlike the rest the candidates.  She would flip the script with all of the smarty-pants Ivy League school Twitter kids who paint the Republicans as old fat white men who listen to Classic Rock.  She has immigrant parents and probably knows a little about football despite going to Clemson. (Editor's Note: This joke would have been a lot funnier if Haley went to the University of South Carolina.) It's going to be hard to paint her as a female Hitler, but one thing we've learned about the late millennials and Gen-Zers is they are very creative. She could win if DeSantis flames out and it becomes a choice between a pretty young woman and an old fat man.

 

 

Vice President Mike Pence.  One of the two people the MAGA Mob  despises, above all others, even more than Mitch McConnell, is Mike Pence (the other one is Liz Cheney). Mike didn't go along with Trump's concoction about the 2020 election and that put Pence on the bad list.  You would think it would put him on the good list with other people. It doesn't work that way.  It will be interesting to see Trump go after Pence in the debates. Trump will call him disloyal-remind Pence that he found Pence in the gutter selling pencils and made him Vice President.  For this  entertainment value alone, Pence should run.  Pence's chances: slim to none and Slim has left town.