V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

The first word I ever learned how to spell was "vacation".  I'm not lying.

That's because my mother had a record by Connie Francis. She was a girl singer in the post-Elvis, Pre-Beatles era of rock and roll and one of her hit songs was "Vacation".

"V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N, we're going to have a ball", is what she sang, and I learned to spell "vacation" from that.   I also learned how to spell Mississippi from a song that spelled "Mississippi," and soon it was easy as pumpkin pie, except as a 63 year old, I still have to sing it.

This year, we took our first post-pandemic vacation.  We went to "The Redneck Riviera": Panama City Beach, Florida (PCB).

Panama City Beach is in the panhandle of Florida. It is about a six-hour drive from Atlanta. I think. We used the travel app WAZE, which is supposed to give you the best and quickest route to your destination. 

I don't know about that.  It took us through downtown Dothan, Alabama.  You know those quaint Southern towns with neat downtowns where everybody drinks coffee and apologizes for being a Southerner. Well,  Dothan does not have that. 

It also took us on a two-lane Alabama state highway that went through a couple of pastures and a chicken barn.  Somehow, and don't ask me how, we got stuck behind a student truck driver.  I think truck driving is a noble profession, and the Lord knows how many great country songs it has inspired.   However, when you get behind a student truck driver on a two-lane Alabama road, it will add some time to your trip. 

We made the Florida state line and looked forward to the free orange juice the State of Florida would give travelers at the Welcome Center.  Well, no free orange juice from the State of Florida, but the Welcome Center kept the bathrooms open.  

From there it was short drive to Panama City Beach.  My wife and I last went there in 2008. Things have changed.

The dinky Mom and Pop no-tell Motels are gone.  Some people have fond memories of these places like my wife. Her family went to Panama City Beach for vacations and stayed at these dumps places.  

My parents were not from Atlanta so we went to either Johnson City, Tennessee or Grenada, Mississippi for vacation. Neither one had a beach.

There is a lot of construction going on in Panama City.  Hurricane Michael hit in October of 2018 and did a lot of damage. But I'm happy to say Pineapple Willy's survived and it is going strong 

Front Beach Road is the main drag and it has construction, too. I'm not sure if it will be bigger and better, but I'm sure it was be finished by the next century.

There is a lot of traffic because there are a lot of people who want to come here aand swim in the ocean.

The problem was we had several double Red flag days.  Here are the meanings of the beach flags

Green:  Alan can enter the water.

Yellow: Alan can enter but he may end up in Destin if he doesn't pay attention

Red:  Alan will die if he enters the water.

Double Red:  Alan will die if he looks at the ocean.

So, in other words, the weather didn't cooperate with our plans. One day was a complete wash out. But that's okay because we went shopping at a large store that sold a lot of knick-knacks and t-shirts that had off-color sayings printed on them.

Shopping is a big thing at PCB because they tore down the old amusement park ("Tetanus City")  and built a shopping plaza called "Pier Park" which is "the Emerald Coast's premier shopping, dining and entertainment complex".  It has (hold on to your seat) a Target.  OMG! You can buy something at Target just like you do at home. 

Fortunately, we didn't go to Pier Park. We did go out to eat, which is another big thing at PCB.

Mini-Reviews of The Restaurants

Hooters.  We went to Hooters the first night because everybody and their momma was at Pineapple Willie's.  Aside from all of their, uh, you know. full bosomed young ladies taking your order and stuff, it was semi-wholesome.  I had a really good hamburger. The waitperson was Tiffany or Crystal and I'm sure she is going to Florida State to be a surgeon.

Pineapple Willy's:  Pineapple Willie's is at the end (or the beginning) of Thomas Drive and it just happens to be were all of the young people are at if they are not at Pier Park. I had chicken fingers and my son and his wife bought a t-shirt. The waitperson was Tyler or Taylor and he is in school majoring in muscles and getting tattoos on those muscles

Angelo's Steak Pit:  Angelo's is a good quality steak house in PCB.  I like Angelo's steaks better than Longhorn's.  The waitstaff no longer wears polyester. Our waitperson appeared to be divorced.

Sharkey's:  We ate on the patio and it was very windy. Good view of the ocean and my shrimp were incredible.  Our waitperson was Kara or Cara and had as many tats are Tyler/Taylor.  I'm pretty sure she has sung in a rock band somewhere in her life.

Another place I can't remember the name:  It was Mary Lou's  or something.  It was off the beach and seemed like a place locals hang out.  I had BBQ and it was very good.   I didn't catch my waitpersons name but she sounded like she knew Boris and Natasha.

All in all, we had a very pleasant vacation and we are planning next year's trip. Maybe the State of Florida will give us orange juice again.