Did you catch the new mini-series appearing on the appropriate cable news networks, Democrats Blow Another One?
It stars every obnoxious nerd whoever taped a poster that read SEX! Now That I Got Your Attention Vote For Me on the wall at their high school.
If you didn't, I don't blame you. It is not near as entertaining as Stranger Things 3 but it is almost as scary.
The show has ten people lined up behind their individual podium and they are asked "questions" by "moderators" in order to see which contestant will face President Orange Tweet in November of 2020.
In late June, the first episode of DBAO had the "presumptive" front runner, Former Vice President "Joe" Biden acting like he's never been on TV before. He was pressed by Senator Kamala Harris (D-Wacky Tobacky) because while a Senator in the early 1800's Biden did not support forced busing.
This put Biden on the defensive because he thought he was in favor of forced busing to achieve school integration unless he forgot he was against it. Those things happen when you have been around as long as "Joe". Biden lost several points in the polls but still maintained a double-digit lead in the polls mainly because he's one of the few contestants anyone has ever heard of.
However, Harris got her comeuppance in last week's episode of DBAO when Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard (D-Somewhere) pointed out that Harris actually DID HER JOB as Attorney General of California and put people in jail that broke the law. This made people happy because obviously, Harris was one of those people that put glitter on her high school posters.
A new character appeared in last week's DBAO. It was a crossover appearance by a member of the cast of the greatest cartoon in the history of television, King Of The Hill. Fort Blanda's camp barber, Bill Dauterive, is running for President. Who knew? Wait. I am being told that was not Bill Dauterive but John Delaney, a former Congressman from Maryland but a current lobbyist for Strickland Propane.
Delaney made an interesting contribution to the proceedings when he asked where all the money for all of the programs Democrats want will come from. Since it is illegal to ask such a question when you are a member of the Democratic Party, Delaney probably won't be asked back for next month's episode, but he can still drink beer out back with Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer.
Delaney's faux pas did not go unnoticed by Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Got Her Job By Telling Everyone She's A Minority). She said, “I don’t understand why anybody goes to all the trouble of running for president of the United States just to talk about what we really can’t do and shouldn’t fight for”. (Editorial comment: For somebody who looks like she can't open a pickle jar, Warren sure talks about fighting a lot). This was a strange comment because most of running for President is talking about what we really shouldn't do and can't fight for.
Warren was all in a tizzy because people of the wrong gender and color were questioning some of her plans, that she is willing to fight for like "Medicare For All", "College Loan Forgiveness", "Open Borders", "Pizza Every Friday" and for the elderly, a free "Clap On-Clap Off" device (Biden and Bernie Sanders have already signed up for that one).
Speaking of Bernie Sanders, he has spent most of the DBAO yelling at people to get off his lawn. He also came out against The Kansas-Nebraska Act, Seward's Folly, The Panama Canal, Prohibition, Tippecanoe, and Tyler too.
Now DBAO has a wild card and her name is Marianne Williamson. I am not exactly sure who she is or why she is famous. She was on "Oprah" a lot. Williamson is kind of like that girl in high school that wore black lipstick to go with her black hair, black shirt, and black pants. When she opened her locker, you would see a pentagram.
Williamson said on the last program, “If you think any of this wonkiness is going to deal with this dark psychic force of the collectivized hatred that this president is bringing up in this country, then I’m afraid that the Democrats are going to see some very dark days.” So. I guess we put Williamson down for fight against dark psychic forces. By the way, I saw Dark Psychic Forces when they opened up for Uriah Heep.
Believe it or not, that wasn't the comment that was the illest conceived. The winner for that prize goes to Mayor Pete Buttigieg (D- Notre Dame). He said regarding a bill to raise the minimum wage, “The minimum wage is too low. So-called conservative Christian senators right now in the Senate are blocking a bill to raise the minimum wage, when scripture says, ‘Whoever oppresses the poor taunts their maker." Let me translate that: the "so-called" conservative Christians aren't real Christians because they oppose the $15 an hour minimum wage. That Satanic group, The Congressional Budget Office, says raising the minimum wage could destroy million of net jobs. But, let's not discuss that because why run for President to talk about what you can't do and shouldn't fight for when there is a Bible verse you can take out of context and smack your opponents in the head.
No comments:
Post a Comment