I just realized I forgot to tell you about my vacation to The Bahamas.
Incidentally, you always refer to The Bahamas as THE Bahamas, kind of like The Ohio State University. Nobody tells you that in school.
According to their website, "The Bahamas is comprised of 700 islands and over 2000 rocks and cays, sprinkled over 100000 square miles of ocean. The archipelago is an ecological oasis boasting the clearest water on the planet." I would have to agree. The water in THE Bahamas puts the water in Panama City Beach to shame.
First the story.
Someone we know retired and built a house in THE Bahamas and invited us down. I would post pictures and tell you exactly where we were except our host requested that we didn't post anything on "social media". Just to be on the safe side, I'm not posting it in this blog because I want to be invited back.
However, I can tell you it wasn't in Nassau, probably the most famous city in THE Bahamas and the inspiration to the song, "Funky Nassau". This song told us: "Nassau rock and Nassau roll, Nassau's got a whole lot of soul". They don't write them like that anymore.
Getting to THE Bahamas is relatively easy from Atlanta. We decided to fly to Orlando and catch a flight to THE Bahamas from there because a direct non-stop flight to our undisclosed location would cost, oh, about 4 million dollars. We took Southwest Airlines to Orlando because it was slightly cheaper.
If you have lived in Atlanta for any time at all, you are familiar with Clark Howard, probably the tightest of all tight-wads. He has a radio show and he used to give out information on great deals Southwest had flying out of Birmingham. "Drive to Birmingham and fly to Las Vegas for 12 bucks. You will stop in Kansas City, Portland, Maine, and Eugene, Oregon before reaching Las Vegas two weeks after you depart. But it's 12 BUCKS!"
But now you don't have to drive to Birmingham. Southwest now flies out of Atlanta. No assigned seating. I will say the flight attendants appear to be MUCH younger than the other airlines, like one that rhymes with the word "Belta".
From Orlando, we caught what I would call a "puddle jumper" except I think puddle jumpers are bigger. I'm sure I saw some mechanics tightening the rubber bands for the propellers (there were 2).
Well, we made it to THE Bahamas and our host picked us up from the airport. As we were driving away I noticed that we were DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. In THE Bahamas, the wrong side of the road is their right side of the road. Again, something they never tell you in school.
Our host's husband was very happy to see us. So happy that he made us about a couple gallons of Goombay Smash.
What is Goombay Smash? It is a rum-based beverage that contains rum, pineapple juice, rum, brandy, rum, orange juice, and rum. It seems like a relatively harmless beverage. Wrong.
Goombay Smash could be used as anesthesia for dental surgery. What makes it so dangerous is that it doesn't seem like an alcoholic beverage. It seems like something that would be served in a punch bowl at church. It doesn't have that boozy smell and it goes down real easy.
I drank a glass. I didn't want to be rude to my hosts. The next thing I knew I was typing "Hey who wants a t-shirt?" on Facebook.
Fortunately, I think I passed out before I did anything embarassing. At least I hope I did.
The Bahamians seemed like nice and friendly people. However, if you go to a restaurant, you must explain EXACTLY what you want.
If you ask for a glass of water, they will bring you a small plastic cup filled with tap water, which may/may not be warm.
I ordered a Diet Coke for one of my meals. I got a room temperature can of Coke with a small plastic cup filled with ice. I should have said, "I want a Diet Coke already poured into a glass (not a cup) that has ice in it."
This is my favorite menu item from a restaurant in THE Bahamas.
The HTHL Hot Dog is a jumbo wiener stuffed with cheddar and wrapped in bacon. They felt the great need to tell you "This is delicious!" . It looked so good Jimmy Buffett ought to write a song about it. (I didn't get it. But my son did.)
I got the Things IN-A-BAG. At least I think I did. I was still in my Goombay Smash coma.
THE Bahamas is a great, relaxing place to go on vacation. The water is the clearest on the planet.
Sorry, Panama City Beach.
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