What I've Learned

Another birthday has come and gone. 

I've gone around the sun 57 times. As Simon and Garfunkel once sang, "I am older than I once was but younger than I'll be".  I'm not a young whippersnapper. I'm a mature whippersnapper. I'm not a spring chicken.  I'm an older, wiser, rooster.

I don't feel old. I don't think I look old. I still have my hair and for the most part it is the original color.  I guess the Lord figured since he gave me my height, my looks, my brain, my teeth and my eyes, he would cut me some slack and give me pretty good hair.

I have learned some things of the past 57 years.

• There will always be somebody smarter, richer, and taller than you.

• There will always be somebody dumber, poorer, and shorter than you.

• Either way, it doesn't mean they are better. It just means they are different.

• People will believe what they want to believe even if it makes no sense.

• Find out what young people believe and then believe the opposite.

• Nobody said life was fair. Even if they did, it would be a lie.

• "Son, all I know is a man needs a woman."  This is direct quote from my dad who married when he was 37.

• "Never join a record club. Remember what happened to The Beaver".  A direct quote from my mom. I never saw that episode of "Leave It To Beaver".

• Speaking of "Leave It To Beaver", there are many Eddie Haskells in the world. As you grow older, you realize these people are hypocritical and fake but you appreciate the effort.

• I am still disappointed in Bill Cosby and Woody Allen, two of the funniest people ever on this planet, fell to their demons.

• Hank Aaron is still a very underrated.

• Joe Namath is overrated, but he is still cool.

• There are two kinds of people in this world: those who say there are two kinds of people in this world and those that don't.

• All religions are not the same.

• Be good to your parents. They won't be around forever.

• Be good to your kids. They'll pick out your nursing home.

• I give people three marriages:  "The young love", "The rebound", and the "I've finally found the right one". After that, I start judging.

• How you treat a waiter/waitress says a lot about you.

• Never be afraid to make a mistake or to admit a mistake. If you're wrong, you're wrong.

• Having a dog is like having another kid. Having a cat is like having a boarder in the house that doesn't like you but expects you to feed it.

• I have a great wife, a great son, a great daughter-in-law and a house with a good air conditioner. I am a rich man.