2012 Election Headquarters

Here at Humor Me 2012 Election Headquarters, I and my staff (Gracie the Cat) have reviewed the upcoming 2012 Presidential election. We have come to two conclusions.

One conclusion is that Ron Paul supporters are everywhere. You could write a nice humorous bit about, oh, Christmas shopping and find your e-mail stuffed with e-mails from Ron Paul supporters about how great Ron Paul is.(How great? Answer: Ron Paul is very, very great.)

The second conclusion is that a majority of Ron Paul supporters can only type in CAPITAL LETTERS. Look at any message board about the 2012 campaign and you will find it clogged with Ron Paul supports stating: RON PAUL IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MAKES SENSE! ROMNEY IS A CHINESE COMMUNIST. NEWT GINGRICH WEARS A BRA. SO DOES MICHELE BACHMANN. OH MAN I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT MICHELE BACHMANN IN A WONDER WOMEN OUTFIT. WAIT… ONLY RON PAUL CAN SAVE US. PRAY EVERY NIGHT TO RON PAUL AND MAYBE HE WILL HAVE MERCY ON US AND TELL US ONCE AGAIN ABOUT THE FEDERAL RESERVE.

It is getting around to crunch time for the 2012 election. President Obama, after spending years lecturing us about the need to be civil has apparently decided to go all Karl Rove on the national rear end. The theme for the President’s re-election is VOTE OBAMA AND NOBODY GETS HURT. Four years ago this guy was all Skittles, Rainbows, and Unicorns. Now, he’s warning about giving the keys back to the people that got us into this ditch which he was supposed to tow us out of but it turns out that this economy thing is real complicated. The answer to all our economic woes: tax millionaires and billionaires, starting with families that make two hundred and fifty thousand a year.

There are two individuals leading in the GOP race. One is Willard Mittford (“Mitt”) Romney. The other is anybody else. First it was Tim Pawlenty, who got out when he discovered that Presidential candidates have to answer questions. Then it was Michele Bachmann, who believes an injection can instantly turn a human being retarded. Then it was Rick Perry, who turns out was retarded. Then it was Herman Cain who had 9-9-9 problems and the chick ain't one. Now it is Newt Gingrich or Ron Paul, depending on who you ask. Gingrich’s motto is “Hey, I’m Fundamentally A Different Guy Now”. He has couple of problems: 1) Everybody hates him and 2) Nobody likes him.

Here at Humor Me Political Headquarters, Gracie and I have concluded that the GOP nominee will be either Romney or somebody else. For some odd reason, Romney is not generating any buzz. Maybe it is all of those bumper stickers that read: Romney: Might as Well and Romney, I Guess.

Romney got a huge boast the other day when First President George Bush (aka: George Herbert Walker Winslow Nelson Bush) gave a sort of/kind of endorsement that only a Bush could give. “This Romney guy just might work out, I suppose”. First President Bush went on to describe that he thinks Newt Gingrich is a “Doo-Doo Head” despite being a “swell guy”.

The Iowa Caucuses are only a week away and you can count on us here at Humor Me 2012 Election Headquarters to keep you up to date with all of the latest news after we watch it on television and if there’s not a ball game on.