This Week's Picks Week 9

Here's the answer to the question "What happened to This Week's Picks Week 8?"

Georgia, Georgia Tech, and Kennesaw State all were off in Week 8.


I made an executive decision.  Since Georgia, Georgia Tech, and Kennesaw State were off, I would be off too.  Some people say I'm off all the time.

Since the world headquarters of This Week's Picks is in Georgia, I have to pick the Georgia and Georgia Tech games.  In the South, you have to pledge an allegiance to a school when you are young. When I was a kid, I picked Georgia because my cousin went to Georgia and we watched "The Vince Dooley Show" on WSB-TV every Sunday after church.

I've never been too wild about Tech.  I mean, all of that math.  But as the years have gone by, I've known a ton of fine folks that are Tech graduates. I generally pull for Tech when they are not playing Georgia, which I think is very reasonable.

Kennesaw State is my alma-mater. I almost wear exclusively Owl spirit wear when I am spirit wearing. Ten years ago, I couldn't even imagine doing that. Back then, announcing you were a Kennesaw State graduate was done in a hushed whisper. Now I tell everyone I was in the FOURTH graduating class.

So yes, when the Dawgs, Jackets, and Owls are off, I am off too.

This Week's Picks!


Hurt Puppies vs New And Improved Lizards:  The World's Largest Drunkfest.  UGA vs Florida. A couple of weeks ago, UGA lost to LSU and really looked bad doing it. Meanwhile, Florida has been slowly improving. If I believed in the "Manis Jinx", I would pick Florida.  I really don't have a handle about how good/bad UGA is, but this game should give me a good indication.  UGA wins!

Wrecked vs Gobblers:  Well, I do have a handle about Georgia Tech this year. They are simply not very good.  The offense is just back yard football and I'm not sure what happens to the defense.I keep reading that it is not CPJ's fault. I'm not sure whose fault it would be then. Tech should win a couple of more games this year. This isn't one of them. Virginia Tech wins!

I Owe Ya  vs Lions of Nittany:  I'll be upfront. I don't know much about the state of Iowa.   I saw the movie "The Bridges of Madison County" which was about a tryst involving Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. Before the magic moment Clint said, "Go ahead, make my day". <rimshot>  Look, you don't get that type of humor from Finebaum.  Iowa is one of those teams that looks like it could win a couple of big games but then they end up losing. They take on Penn State, which is not quite up to the glory days of when Joe Pa was hiding pedofiles, but the Nittany Lions are getting there.  It would be great if Iowa won. They won't.   Penn State wins!

Aggie A&M vs Messy State:  Jimbobbojerryjeff Fisher has done pretty good in his first year at Texas A&M (Notable alumni: Lyle Lovett. Really). The Aggies have lost two games:Alabama and Clemson.  Mississippi State has lost three SEC games, but they beat Auburn as the Lord commanded them.They are going to need the Lord's Army to defeat A&M.  Aggies win!

Appy State vs Jawja Suthern:  Just a publishing note. Sometimes college football schedule games on Thursday Night just to mess with This Week's Picks. This is one of those weeks. So, if you are reading this on Saturday, you'll know who won this game. Maybe. Anyway, as you all know, my son Ben Manis The Great Number 38, is a graduate from Georgia Southern University, which is located in Statesboro, Georiga, the home of Blind Willie McTell.  "Nobody could sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell" is what Bob Dylan said. If you have ever spent any amount of time in Statesboro, Georgia, you'll know why Blind Willie sang the blues.  To say Appalachian State and Georgia Southern are rivals is an understatement. These two schools alumni, faculty, staff, and teams hate each other.  Appalachian State is ranked. They've only lost one game this year-to Penn State in overtime. Georgia Southern only has one loss-to Clemson.  I would love to see Georgia Southern win. But, sorry son, this is business.  Appalachian State wins!

My Beloved Owls vs Charleston Southern:  After the UGA debacle in Baton Rouge and the weekly Tech dumpster fire, Kennesaw State was the highest ranked team in the state. They are ranked second in the FCS polls. Not too shabby, if I say so myself. Owls win!

This Week's Picks-Week 7

To me, the story, so far, of the 2018 College Football season has been Alabama.

If you haven't been keeping up, Alabama has won the last four hundred or so National Championships.  Last year, they won it and they didn't even win their division or their conference. It was the second time this decade that has happened.

This year, Alabama has been killing their opponents. Just wiping them out.

First game:  Louisville.  Bama won by 37 points.

Second game: Arkansas State.  Bama won by 50 points

Third game:  Ole Miss. Bame won by 55 points

Fourth game: Texas A&M.  Bama won by a mere 22 points

Fifth game:  Lousiana-Layfette. Bama won by 42 points

Sixth game:  Arkansas.  Bama won by 34 points.

There has been some complaints about the Bama schedule.

Okay, Bama should never play Arkansas State or Louisiana-Layfette.  Bama is Bama and they should play schools in the another Power Five Conference like The Big Ten and not The Sun Belt. I know all about the paychecks it brings to the smaller schools, but it is just wrong.

However, it isnt' Bama's fault that Louisville, Arkansas, and Ole Miss suck this year.  When they made the schedule, Louisville looked like a monster.   Bama just happen to catch all of these teams during an off year that's all.

But, Bama still has LSU, Missisippi State, and Auburn remaining. They could beat Bama.

Nah.

This Week's Picks!



Dawgs vs Ellesewe:   Back in the old days, Georgia fans used to listen to "The Larry Munson Show" and hear something like this:  "I'm worried about Saturday's game. We've been playing well, but, we just don't have the certain something. I'm reading reports that the Loyola Mount Mary's  Fighting Nuns is one of the best teams in the very small college football rankings and they could surprise us. And then where will we be?  Where will we be?  Meanwhile, yesterday I went with the movie group to catch the latest Barbara Streisand movie, "Yentl" in which she plays a girl with a big schnozzola that wants to be a rabbi so she pretends to be a boy with a big schnozzola."  The point is (yes, I have one) that Georgia fans are used to being worried. This game is one to be worried about.  Baton Rouge is not exactly the nicest place in the world. Add four billion Cajuns that started drinking Tuesday, well, you do the math.  Speaking of math, I think Georgia will score more points than LSU. Georgia wins!

Buzzy vs  Dook:  The Flying Bumble Bees got their mojo back against Louisville. I was all prepared to pick Tech, but I did a little research and Duke has a better record playing against some better teams. Yeah, I know, sometimes that happens. I'm not quite sold that Tech has turned a corner, but they are playing at home. Something about playing in front of a frantic crowd of 500 can turn a team around. I kid, I kid. I don't trust Tech, but I don't trust Duke away from the basketball court. What the heck: Tech wins!
 

Lizards vs The Commode-Doors: That sound you heard last week was all of the Florida fans jumping back on the bandwagon. Great.   I must admit, they handled LSU really well. They should do the same thing against Vanderbilt.  Florida wins!

My Favorite Florida Meme

Meeshegan vs Wesconsun:  I just watched something on the internet which says this is "The Game Of The Week". Okay, sure.   I think UGA-LSU is the game of the week, but I don't have my own internet show.   This is a BIG game for both teams.  Wisconsin has been just okay this year. Jim Harbaugh hasn't won a big game at Michigan. Michigan is the better team and they are playing in Ann Arbor. Michigan wins!

My Beloved Owls vs My Niece's School:  The big news around here is Kennesaw State is ranked number 2 in the FCS rankings. Which is super cool. I'm already checking out restaurants in Frisco, Texas where The FCS championship takes place. I found a place called Hutchins BBQ, which serves BBQ. I can't wait....oh wait a second, I've got the rest of the season. The Owls travel to Boling Springs, North Carolina to play Gardner-Webb University, Gardner-Webb  is where my niece goes to school and she plays on the women's LaCrosse team. She is the first one from the family to play sports at a Division One school. We are all so proud of her and pray that one day she buys her favorite uncle a Gardner-Webb t-shirt.  However, business is business.   Sorry kid, Owls win!

 

This Week's Picks Week Six

For those of you that don't know, The World Headquarters of This Week's Picks is located in Marietta, Georgia, which is a Northwest suburb of Atlanta, Georgia, the home of the freakiest traffic in the world.

You may remember a few years ago, we had a sudden ice storm hit the area.  I live about 15 minutes from my office.  It took me eight hours to get home. And boy did I have to tee-tee.

Then last year, a part of Interstate 85, caught fire and collapsed. I have never seen an Interstate catch on fire. It was amazing. After the fire was put out, there was a big hole in the Interstate. However the most amazing thing about it was it was fixed in six weeks.

This week, we had cows.

That's right, cows. A truck carrying 89 cows flipped on the cloverleaf of I-75 and I-285, which if you know anything about North Metro Atlanta, is the center of the blessed universe.

Important note: this was the second time it has happened in Atlanta this year.

No bull.

Associated Press called it an "Udder Disaster".

At the end of the day, 87 of the cows had been accounted for.   Ten of the cows were killed in either the initial wreck or they were hit by people who didn't expect to see a cow running around the Interstate.

Two cows are missing.  I suggest they check at Chick-Fil-A.

We all have a stake in finding these two cows

This Week's Picks.


Bullydogs vs The Commode Doors:  Georgia is playing another team located in Tennessee this weekend. This time it is Vanderbilt. It is one of those hoity-toity private universities that somehow is in the SEC and not in a lesser conference like the ACC. (I kid, I kid). Just so you know, the cost of going to Vanderbilt this year is $44,712.00 according to reliable sources (Google). By the way, at one time Vandy was going to change its team name from the  Commodores to the Possums because they always play dead at home and get killed on the road! You've been great, be sure to try the veal and tip the wait staff.  UGA wins!

 

Buzzed vs Lousyville:  Our favorite Bumble Bee team won last week. For real. They scored more points than the other team and everything! They have a real good shot on getting their first conference win of the season against Louisville. In case you didn't hear, Louisville got beat by Florida State last week. That's not good.  In case you don't have a life, this is the ESPN Friday Night Game.  Tech wins!
 

Texsass vs Oooooooooooooooklahoma:  Howdy, partner!  It is time for the Red River Classic It is a big game because it is in Texas, etc. Oklahoma has a very, very good quarterback like last year, except this guy isn't a jerk.  Texas started slow but looks like they are getting back to their same old annoying selves, which is good for college football. I think.  I just don't think Texas is back yet. Oklahoma wins!

War Tigers vs Other Bulldogs:   What do a tornado and a divorce in Auburn have in common? Answer: no matter what happens, someone is losing a trailer.  Ha, that is just an example of the good humor Auburn has to put up with every year.  This year, they've lost to LSU, which was probably like Armageddon Two Electric Boogaloo on the Plains. They can't afford to lose another SEC game.  Meanwhile, Mississippi State. Lord. They already have two losses.  Make it three. Auburn wins!

Ellesewe vs Reptiles:  Hey Beaudreux! Les tigres sont plutot beaux. Ils sont classes 5 dans les derniers sondages. Au revoir Joe je dois y aller oh mon oh.  Laissez le bon temp rouler!  LSU wins!

Bammy vs Pigs:  I just threw in this one because I needed another major college game. The question in this game: when does Jalen Hurts come into the game.  My bet: midway through the first quarter. Bama wins!



My Beloved Owls vs Calvinist South Carolina College:  The irresistible grace of Kennesaw, Georiga on a Saturday brings Presyberterian College to The Fifth Third and Half Metric Liter Quart Bank Stadium.  Not tooting my alma mater's horn, but Kennesaw State is ranked number three in the FCS polls, right after North Dakota State and James Madison.  All of this means it is predestined: Owls win!

This Week's Picks Week Five

Before we hop into this weekend's game, allow me to discuss something personal.

No, it doesn't involve me directly. It has nothing to do with my friends and family.

I want to discuss Bill Cosby.

(This is sort of college football related. Cosby played on the Temple University football team and had a great bit about playing Hofstra University.)

If there ever was a Mount Rushmore for comedians, I think Bill Cosby would be on it.

All of his records on the Warner Brothers label released in the '60's are classics. Every one from "Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow...Right", "Why Is There Air?" (answer: to blow up basketballs), "Revenge" to "MPH". It was like he recorded, in comedy terms, a Sgt Pepper or Blonde On Blonde every time.

That is my Bill Cosby. Oh sure, a lot of people liked Dr. Huxtable, but that was Cosby in cruise control. My Bill Cosby talked about Junior Barnes, Fat Albert, Old Weird Harold, and The Chicken Heart.

At one time, he was the funniest man on the planet.

As a kid, I memorized his stories. I know I'm not the only one.

I'm not going to rehash his downfall. It is hard to believe but apparently what we heard in whispers for years was true. And what is true is very sad, particularly for the victims. It is also sad that the man worshiped by many had a legion of demons he just couldn't control.

Now, as an elderly man, he has been put in handcuffs and shuffled off to jail.

It is just hard to reconcile my Bill Cosby with that Bill Cosby.  It is a shame.

This Week's Picks

Jawja vs Ten-uh-see: UGA wasn't all that hot against Missouri, but they still won. Lord, what can I say about Tennessee?  Nothing except to ask do you know why they raised the drinking age to 32 in Tennessee?  They want to keep alcohol out of the high schools! Did you hear about the guy that was staying at a swanky Knoxville hotel?  He called the front desk and said "I gotta leak in my sink" and the guy at the front desk said, "Go ahead".  A Tennessee State Trooper pulled over this orange and white truck with UT bumper stickers all over it. The State Trooper said, "You got an I.D.?" and the driver said, "Bout whut?".  Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience! Remember to tip your waitress and try the veal!  UGA wins!
 

Wrecked vs Falcons Not From Around Here:  Welp, Tech played just as well against Clemson as I thought they would.  Things must be heating up down on The Flats because the @NotPaulJohnson guy tweeted: "Take your fair weather self $5 and go to wal-mart and get yourself a Georgia hat. Plenty of room on their bandwagon."  Someone replied: "Fair weather? You could say that if last year we won the ACC. But this is the 3rd time in 4 we have sucked. I don’t think we have fair weather fans. Just fans tired of a losing program."  This would have been a major big deal, but only three people responded to the tweet, which indicates the interest in the program.  But let not your heart be troubled my bumble bee pals, Bowling Green Not In Kentucky University is coming down and this will be your second win of the year. Buzz, buzz.  Tech wins.

Ahia State vs Lions from Nittany  I have never been an Ohio State fan and I've never been that crazy about Penn State. But, they're not coached by Saint Urban The Forgetful.  Penn State wins!
 

Other Bulldogs vs Reptiles:  It looked like Mississippi State was going places this year and then came the Kentucky game. Let that sink in. Things must be looking up for Florida because I'm getting requests not to pick them to win because of some myth is known as "The Manis Jinx". I've picked 19 out of 21 correctly this year. I think we can safely say "The Manis Jinx" is dead.  Florida wins! (Mississippi State fans: I accept payment in cash, check, money orders, and bitcoins)

Trees vs Our Lady:  Stanford looks like a good team. I wish I could stay awake long enough to watch them play.  Notre Dame is having a pretty good year. They are Number 8 in the country primarily due to a stirring win over The Backslidden Deacons of Wake Forest.  I just think Stanford is better. Stanford wins!

My Beloved Owls vs Baptist Bulldogs:  Last Saturday, the lovely Mrs. Picks and I decided to go the geriatric Longhorn's on Dallas Highway. I call it that because when we go there,  we're usually the youngest people in the restaurant and we ain't spring chickens. We passed the Clark Atlanta team bus. This wasn't good for them because we do not live near Kennesaw State's stadium, The Fifth-Third Quarter Inch Liter Bank Stadium.  Clark Atlanta eventually found the stadium. Kennesaw State beat them 70-13.  Samford is 1-3 so far this year. Ha, ha.  Kennesaw State wins!

Not about football, but this is pretty much how Georgia colleges are.

This Week's Picks: Week 4

I am going to say something very controversial.  I miss Verne Lundquist.

If you ever want to get a fight started, say something good about Verne Lundquist.

He was the play-by-play guy for the SEC games on CBS for years.  Everybody hated him, particularly Alabama fans. I've haven't quite figured it out.  Maybe he didn't genuflect enough towards Saint Saban, I don't know.

But I liked Uncle Verne. He wasn't one of those blown dried Syracuse graduates. He was a Texas Lutheran grad that liked to eat.

Oh sure, sometimes he got the player, team, stadium, and sport wrong. But he was real.

I miss Larry Munson, too.  If you are from Georgia, you've heard at least one classic Larry Munson call live.

Larry:  "The Dawgs are on the one-yard line. Three seconds left. Boys, it is time to hunker down like you've never hunker down before. I don't see how they're going to do it. Loren, whatta got?"

Loren: "Huh Larry?  Mrs. Dooley is wearing the most beautiful yellow chiffon dress. It highlights those eyes of her. I love her".

Larry:  "The Dawgs set. It's a quarterback sneak! It's a quarterback sneak (Note-Larry says this 50 more times).  We took their face and stepped on it with a golf shoe. We took their liver out and put  it on the grill. We ripped their kidneys out and gave it to a raccoon. Look! Sugar is falling from the sky! Wait! That's rain! Okay, enough celebration, let's start worrying about the NorthSouthWest Louisiana game." 

This Week's Picks!



Jawja vs Moosouri- UGA starts its SEC schedule with Missouri, which for some reason is in the Eastern Division of The SEC despite the fact that the state of Missouri is west of the Mississippi River. Geography isn't a big deal in The SEC. For some reason, the Tigers always play the Dawgs tight probably because UGA still doesn't think Missouri is in the SEC. It won't matter.  UGA wins

Wrecked vs Erange- I don't get it. Coach Paul (Giggles ) Johnson's record in 11 years at Georgia Tech is 77-56.  A winning record to be sure, but it is nothing to build a statue over. You would think Johnson would be on the hot seat, but it doesn't seem like it is an issue. I guess the Bees are happy beating UGA every four to six years.  You don't have to be good at math to know Tech just won't have it against Clemson.  The question isn't if the Bees will lose, the question is by how much. And Coach Giggles will probably get a contract extension. Clemson wins.

Rocky Topped vs  Lizards- For some people, the first sign of Fall are the leaves changing color. For others, it is the appearance of pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks (yuck!) but for me, the first sign of fall is the Tennessee-Florida game.  In their salad years, you see as many Tennessee and Florida fans here as you do Georgia fans. This isn't one of their salad years, so these guys have been on the down-low as the cool kids say.  Tennessee has been in a state of rebuilding since they fired Big Fat Phil. Florida lost to Kentucky a couple of weeks ago. If that isn't proof there is a God, I don't know what is. I tend to think Florida is a little bit better than Tennessee.  What the heck:  Florida wins.

Ducks vs Trees- When we went on our Alaskan cruise a couple of years back, I met a guy that was a Florida grad living in California. He said due to the time difference, he has no trouble keeping up with The SEC.   He'd wake up Saturday Morning and there was a SEC football game. It is the opposite issue with me about the PAC-10. It is hard to keep up with a team when their games come on at 11:00, because unlike you heathens, some of us have to get up on Sunday morning and go to church. Stanford is number 9 in the polls and Oregon is 20. I guess that means something.  Gameday is going to be at Eugene, so I guess Coach Lee will be picking the Ducks.  By the way, did you know that Oregon has a handshake agreement with Walt "Wonderful World of Color" Disney himself to be able to use the Donald Duck likeness?  You don't get that type of information on Gameday.  Wait, maybe, you did.  No particular reason but I think Stanford wins.

 

The Fighting Herms vs Worshington-I hate it when I forget something that happened in the off-season, like when Herm Edwards was hired as the head coach of the Arizona State Sun Devils. Herm was the coach of The New York Jets and The Kansas City Chiefs.  When he was let go from Kansas City, you'd see him on ESPN and he seemed like he had just a wee too much coffee. But it seems, so far, that college football agrees with him. Arizona State has beaten a Big Ten school. (Okay, even Troy University has beaten a Big Ten School.)  Washington is a pretty good team. They almost defeated Auburn. They're better than Arizona State.  Washington wins.

My Beloved Owls vs  Clark Atlanta- I don't care if Kennesaw State is playing Clark Kent, Clark Griswald, or Clark Atlanta, the Owls will win.

This Week's Picks Week Three

Ahem.

While This Week's Picks (or TWP as it is known in the business), is strictly for entertainment purposes, I do like to keep up with how many games I happen to pick correctly.

For the first two weeks of The College Football Season, my record is 10-0.

Granted, the first couple of weeks hasn't been that surprising.  However, I did pick Utah State to defeat New Mexico State, which they did, 60-13.  I picked Utah State simply because The Incredible Paul Wickenhiser sent me a Utah State t-shirt.  His oldest son goes there and I said, "Hey Paul, send me a t-shirt.". He said "Sure" and I got it in the mail a few days later.  In fact, I am wearing that t-shirt as I am typing these words.

You don't get that type of insightful football analysis on Gameday

This Week's Picks!


Dawgs vs The Middle of The State of Tennessee. After beating Igottago Peay University  in the first game of the season, the Georgia Bulldogs faced their first test last week against The South Carolina Game(word deleted; this is a family blog). UGA passed with flying colors.  The Dawgs have invited another Tennessee team to Athens, The Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee State.  Middul Tenn-uh-sea (as it is pronounced up there) is in Murfreesboro, which is also the home of "The Slick Pig" restaurant which is a great BBQ joint. "The Slick Pig" is also a place that can cure constipation if you catch my drift.   If you ever go to "The Slick Pig", be sure to bring your Immodium. Wait. Where was I?  Oh yeah, the game. UGA wins.

Bumbles vs The Non-Black and Gold Team of Pittsburgh.  Tech didn't look bad against South Florida when they had the ball. The offense is the same triple option run, run, run that Paul Johnson has been doing there for years.  The defense, however, is another story.  Pitt didn't look good at all against Penn State. I'm taking a chance but I think Tech wins.

Bamy vs Ole Mess. There was a time when Ole Miss beat Alabama two years in a row. That time is over. Alabama wins.

Rocky Topped vs The University Out In The West Texas Town Of El Paso.  Another friend of the blog, Stephanie Harkins, complained that I never mention Tennessee and even created a clever hashtag: #Volslivesmatter. The University of Texas El Paso comes to Knoxville to play the ever rebuilding Volunteers.  I know nothing about UTEP and I don't know anybody that can send me a t-shirt. Because of that, Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me. Tennessee wins.

Just In Case You Didn't Get My Joke

Eyes of Buck vs Aroused Frogs of A Mainline Denomination.  THE Ohio State University has one last game without St. Urban The Forgetful.  Raise your hands if you want TCU to win. Okay, that's everybody in the country except the state of Ohio.  I'm probably wrong, but TCU wins.

My Beloved Owls vs Alabama State.  Yes, Virginia, there are other schools in Alabama besides Bama and Auburn that play football.  According to their website, "Alabama State University was founded in 1867, in Marion, Ala., as a school for African-Americans. The school started as the Lincoln Normal School with $500 raised by nine freed slaves now known as the Marion Nine, making ASU one of the nation’s oldest institutions of higher education founded for black Americans."  Their nickname is "The Hornets", which is really a cool college team name if you ask me. I mean, a yellow jacket is pesky, but a hornet is downright mean. They were 5-6 last year.  Owls win.

Crackers

Animal crackers in my soup
Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop
Gosh, oh gee, but I have fun
Swallowing animals one by one  -Shirley Temple

I suppose by now you have heard about Nabisco changing the design on the box of animal crackers.

For years the box featured pictures of animals, in "cages" because the actual name of the snack is Barnum's Animal Crackers and it meant to convey the idea that the circus was coming to town. The idea being that the nearest the average consumer would get to a lion was to see one at the circus.

However, in the past few years, the whole idea of a circus has fallen out of favor.  Clowns are considered "scary".  Jerry Seinfeld once commented about going to the circus and he "didn't know what the hell was going on".  Barnum and Bailey's Circus went bankrupt.

Instead of being behind bars in a circus wagon, the animals are now shown just chillin' on the African plain. The animals: zebra, elephant, lion, giraffe, and a gorilla.  From my research (a misbegotten childhood watching "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom") I believe the lion would attack at least two of the other animals.

I will let you guess why Nabisco made this decision. You guessed it right: they were pressured by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) to change the art of the box.

Twenty years ago, PETA was decrying animals caught in steel traps to make fur coats. They were protesting lab research done on animals. Now, they are mau-mauing companies about art on cookie boxes.

PETA, in a released statement, said, “No living being exists simply to be a spectacle or to perform tricks for human entertainment, yet all circuses and traveling shows that use animals treat them as mere props, denying them everything that’s natural and important to them.” 

(Just for the record, my 21-year-old cat, Gracie, agreed saying that she doesn't exist to perform tricks for human entertainment, like some dog. Additionally, Gracie is pretty ticked off about not making the Top Ten of Cobb County's cutest pets for Cobb Life magazine. That has nothing to do with the issue at hand, but her mind tends to wander sometimes.)

Most people chalked up the new animal cracker box design as another example of PC culture gone wild. We can't get the Pope to decry child molestation by rouge perverted priests, but doggone it, we can free cartoon African animals from their cages on cracker boxes.


However, the crowd at Woke University isn't giving each other high fives for forcing a major corporation into doing something which was totally unnecessary. No, the problem is it didn't go far enough.

Vox, an online magazine, published a piece titled: The Big Problem With The Animal Crackers "Cage Free" Box Design by Daisy Alioto. The subtitle to the piece stated, "The new art doesn't address any of the underlying issues about ethics, exploitation, and corporate greed".

To be fair, the art on most food items doesn't address any of the underlying issues about anything, much less issues about ethics, exploitation, and corporate greed.  Have you ever seen a box of Sugar Smacks?  It has a stupid frog wearing a hat and a jacket eating a bowl of cereal with a spoon. Who wants to eat something a frog eats? Why would a frog wear a hat and a jacket? Wouldn't it get all wet? Was the hat and jacket made by child laborers in Bangladesh? Does the frog have health insurance? None of these questions are answered by Sugar Smacks, but that's big cereal for you.



In an interesting twist, Ms. Alioto admits that her great grand uncle, Sidney, designed the iconic original package in 1923.  I found this amazing. Because I too have a great grand uncle that was into design.

According to family folklore, my great grand uncle Zellbert Manis created the design for the moonshine jug.  It was his idea to put XXX on the jugs.

Somehow, this admission by Ms. Alioto doesn't get her banished from the cool kid's table. She makes a credible defense of Uncle Sidney. She says his design was about joy and not animal cruelty. Too bad she wasn't in the boardroom when PETA came to town.

However, she decides to spin off from the silliness of the new design to placate a bunch goofballs because, hey, this is Vox and there has to be something more terribly wrong.

She says, "the symbolic significance of changing the animal cracker box design does little to dismantle the elements of capitalism that exploit animals, people, and the environment".

Dismantling the elements of capitalism that exploits animals, people, and the environment is a pretty tall order for a box of crackers.

For example,  the former head of Mondelez, the company that now owns Nabisco, made 402 times the amount as their median worker.  Ms. Alioto doesn't specify how much more the head of Mondelez is supposed to make over the median worker.  But, you know, it is just not fair for a CEO to make more money than a guy on the cracker line.

However, she doesn't say anything positive about the capitalism that allowed Uncle Sydney to get a job and to create a design that lasted 95 years.

She continues, "I don’t believe that what PETA’s animal cracker box campaign has done is censorship, but I do believe it places an unfair burden on an artist’s contribution without addressing any of the deeper ethical issues in play." 

Of course, it is a type of censorship. It is the type called "shaming".  It is to elevate Uncle Sydney's creation to the level of other anachronistic icons of brands like Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben when it clearly is not.

Ms. Alioto has discovered that some of the campaigns of the left are crackers.