The Grass Keeps Right on Growing

The grass keeps right on growing
The sun goes right on shining,
there are apples on the apple tree.
Ain't life a funny thing? Flowers bloom and birds still sing
and everything's the same except for me .  ~ Gloria Shayne

 

You know, I thought I wouldn't have to write this blog post.

I thought, at least I hoped, the Republican Party-the political party of mature adults-the political party that was not given to whims or flights of fancy, would send Donald J. Trump back to reality television. It turns out, in reality, Trump will be the nominee of The Republican Party.

God, have they lost their ever lovin' minds?

I have been pretty clear as to why I was a founding member of #NeverTrump.

1. The man, who wants to be the Commander and Chief, denigrated John McCain's service to this country as a Prisoner of War. The man who got four deferments for a medical condition of his foot and he can't remember which foot. Incidentally, McCain was the Republican standard bearer in 2008 and Trump will expect McCain to fall in line. Not likely.

2. The man, in a public speech after Mitt Romney's speech blasting him said, "He was begging for my endorsement. I could have said, 'Mitt, drop to your knees.' He would have dropped to his knees." I don't have to translate this for you. Trump is tacky and vulgar. Apparently, money cannot buy you class.

3. Speaking of Romney, it is said Romney spoke Conservatism as a second language. Trump speaks conservatism as if he's carrying around a Berlitz Language Book and saying words loud as he possibly can like he's an ugly American tourist in Paris.  Trump is not a conservative in manner, thought, or deed.  He's gaudy, ostentatious, and I would be shocked if he ever heard of Edmund Burke.

4. My nickname for Trump: Dumb Donald. Look, he was unfamiliar with The Nuclear Triad. That's like a builder not knowing about concrete. He doesn't know or care that The Smoot-Hawley Tariff exacerbated The Great Depression and yet he argues for high tariffs if other countries doesn't give us "good deals". He doesn't know or care that the phrase "America First" carries baggage because of The America First Committee which tried to keep the US out of World War II and was full of German Sympathizers.

5. He has a penchant of accepting, apparently at face value, any stupid conspiracy theory that comes down the pike. Four years ago, he was going to "prove" Obama was born in Kenya (Obama wasn't and Trump didn't)  Now, he's peddling that Ted Cruz's dad was somehow involved in The Kennedy Assassination. If the race had gone any further, I'm sure Trump would have figured out some way of tying Cruz with the Manson Family or O.J. Simpson.

Those are just five reasons, and I could come up with more if you give me another second, of why I don't think Trump is fit to be President.

Look, I know everybody on my side of the river is "mad" at "career politicians".  I know Ted Cruz is a goofy looking guy-the kind that would look at you like you really shouldn't have that beer because God doesn't want you to drink. But really, Trump?

I have no idea what I'm going to do in November. If Trump somehow transforms himself from this ugly duckling of a candidate into a beautiful swan of a possible President, maybe I could hold my nose and vote for him. Maybe if he has a good running mate.  But it is going to take an industrial size clothes pin.

I could vote for a Third Party, although that 's kind of like going ahead and voting for Hillary. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt.

By the way, don't start the brow beating that "this is the most important election of our lifetime" and I "must" vote for Trump.

Inez (my mom) always stressed to me to vote for the man and not the party. The problem is both candidates are deeply flawed, to say the least.

But the grass will keep on growing no matter who wins and the sun will keep right on shining. Just the thought of having to choose between these two amoral snakes makes me shudder and it is really disappointing that we can't do better.

I will say this: if Hillary wins, y'all are going to get an "I told you so".

 It will be huge.

Series of Dreams

⁵ Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. ⁶ He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: ⁷ We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”   Genesis 37: 5-7

Look, everybody has dreams.

I'm not talking about "I have a dream of winning the lottery" or "I dream of owning my own business". I'm talking about ZZZZ-induced  REM fueled dreams. I'm talking about dreams where you wake up and go "whoa, what was that about?". I 'm talking about dreams where you tell your wife about it and she just looks at you with that look that conveys this one subtle message: You are a moron.

As everybody knows, dreams must mean something. There are plenty of people to help you interpret your dreams. For example, in the Aisling A-Z Dream Dictionary, it gives you an interpretation of the symbols of your dreams.

For example, if you happen to dream about feces ( or "poop" to you Trump voters out there), it means " there are problems with your colon".  Hey, it is on the Internet, so you can't argue with it.
 
I just happened upon the meaning of bare bosoms in dreams. Not that I have dreams about bare bosoms. At least not now. Maybe when I was thirty-five.  It says "Breasts symbolize nurturing in dreams. For example, if a friend has exposed breasts in a dream it is a request for you to use your nurturing / leadership abilities in social settings."

This is going to come in handy when I tell my wife about the dream I had about, oh, just to pick a name out of the sky, Nicole Kidman, and she was topless. It simply means Nicole wants me to use my nurturing/ leadership skills in social settings.  Thanks, Nicole!

In fact, I've had a lot of celebrities in my dreams. My dream world is a regular US Weekly.

One time, I dreamed about Urkel from the 90's television show, Family Matters. We were walking up the steps going into a house for a party. That's it. I think I asked Urkel if he knew anybody at the party.  Not sure why I had a dream about Urkel, because, let's face it, he was one of the more annoying figures of the 90's along with Janet Reno and whomever came out with the "Macarena" song.

My interpretation was this: even though I did not make good grades in high school, I knew a lot of people that did and I probably would have hung around Urkel if he had gone to Wheeler in the mid-70's.

On a little more serious note, I've had two vivid dreams about Bob Dylan. Whenever one of my parents would die, Bob would show up in a dream, unannounced. In true Bob fashion, I didn't understand anything he said, but I knew it was probably important. In the dream after Old Man Manis died, Bob was sitting up in a tree, talking to me about something real deep, but I couldn't understand it.  Just like a couple of his concerts I've attended.

The celebrity dream that caused a lot of discussion around Manis Manor is the one I had about Jane Seymour.

Yes, I admit it. Like many male baby boomers, I have a crush on Jane Seymour. I don't quite know what it is, but there is just something about her I've always found attractive. Maybe it's because she's good looking.

The dream was this. I took Jane Seymour to a basketball game at East Cobb Junior High School. I was in 8th grade in the dream. Jane was starring in "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman".   It was a big game, packed house, and we went up in the stands.

I could hear everybody in my class saying "Hey Manis" and "Manis", but they were pronouncing it like they did back then:  "May-Nus" (you have to remember-this is The South).  They were impressed with my date. Even the cool kids like my friend Craig, who probably did go out with Jane Seymour a couple of times.

Jane wore yellow sweater. We sat together and watched the game. That was the dream. No big make out session with Jane Seymour. She kept her clothes on. I guess there was no one she wanted me to use my leadership/nurturing skills on.

When I told my wife about the dream, she said, "Yellow?!".  She promptly showed me a picture she had found: my prom picture.  My date wore a yellow dress.

On Mindfuldreamer.com it says this about the color yellow in dreams:

"Yellow is a color with various meanings, usually either positive or negative depending on the context of it being used in the dream. On the positive side it can mean innocence, hope, happiness, and lightheartedness - to have a "sunny disposition". On the negative side it can mean indecision, cowardliness, or sickness. Pay careful attention to how the dream made you feel to understand the meaning of the color yellow in your dreams."

With that in mind, I think I can say on the positive side that the color yellow in this dream means my happiness was taking a major TV star to a basketball game at my junior high school.

Other than that, I haven't the slightest idea what my Jane Seymour dream meant.  My wife says it means that Jane Seymour is "my woman".  She also said something about medicine and needing to increase my dosage. 

The Plastic Flute

In case you didn't know, I've been writing a couple of books this past year.

One book was something I've had in the can for a long time, sort of like Harper Lee, except I'm no Harper Lee. It also doesn't touch on significant existential themes unless you count jokes about moms jumping up and down when a nine year old hits a home run as meaningful.

The second book is a little more personal; it is about my life in the 70's at Wheeler High School.  I expect Ryan Gosling to play me in the movie.

At the time I went to Wheeler, it was THE school in Cobb County. Wheeler was in East Cobb, and cousin, East Cobb was a-booming back then.

It was interesting writing about my life back then because unlike most people, I just went to school and came home.  I wasn't in any clubs. My grades were not good. I was too small for sports. I've always wondered why I was like that.

Then one day it hit me.

In sixth grade it was announced that we would be having "band" practice. This is when the high school and junior high school band teachers went to the elementary schools and tried to teach the kids how to play a recorder, which is a black plastic flute.

Like everyone else, I received my flute and went to "band" class.

Okay, I will admit one thing. I was eleven years old. I really did not grasp the significance of playing a plastic flute.

I will admit something else. I probably did band class so I could get out of my other classes. I'm pretty sure my friends were a part of it too.

First class. The band teacher gave this home work: Practice on your recorder.

A week goes by before the second class. I practiced on my recorder for maybe two minutes, total. That's being generous.

Second class. The band teacher catches me talking to another student during class. I stopped talking. The class ends and the band teacher gives the same home work as before. Again, I might have picked up the flute to look at it.

Third class. The band teacher is going over the scale. The band teacher points at me as I am mouthing the notes and says I'm just "following the class" and "doesn't really know it". Okay. You got me, Sherlock.

 The class ends. The band teacher wants to see me after class.

The band teacher has me sit down. The band teacher sighs.  The band teacher looks at me and says, "You know, some people can do things and some people can't do things. You can't do this. Please give me your flute."   I give the band teacher my flute.

As I look over this incident, I can honestly say this: that band teacher really sucks.

For one thing, and I cannot over emphasize this, I was ELEVEN years old. On top of that, I was an ELEVEN year old BOY.  Eleven year old boys are not known for their ability to follow instructions no matter if it was 1971 or 2016.

It is just an awful thing to tell a child they simply don't have what it takes to play a plastic flute. I'm still not sure what it takes to play a plastic flute.

I'm not sure if the band teacher wanted me to protest it and then come in the next week playing like crazy. Maybe that was it. However, even though I was a smart aleck kid, I was compliant and if an adult told me I couldn't do something, it made sense to me that I couldn't do it.

So, a door was closed to me- I couldn't even be a band nerd. It was closed by an adult, that had observed me for, maybe, three hours total.

That's just the way it was back then. Adults threw kids in a box and that's where you were expected to stay.

By the way, there are tons of my contemporaries who worship this teacher. That's okay. Maybe I was the one kid that he made a mistake with, I don't know.  I'm glad nobody else had my experience.

I'm not going to lie. Five years later in high school I was not thinking, "Man, that teacher kept me from band".  I didn't obsesses over it. Still, I've wonder if this was in the back of my mind: I can't even play a plastic flute.

Last week, my high school celebrated its 50th year of existence. I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in over thirty-five years.  I ran into one of best teachers ever, Roger Hines. He was the most challenging teacher I had at Wheeler. I wrote a paper for him once. Somehow, I made a 92 on it.  I wonder what would have happened if he told me some people can write and others can't.

I probably wouldn't have written a blog for seven years or be coming out with a couple of books.

Reagan vs Trump

It has been a little difficult this election cycle.

A lot of people-and I do mean a lot of people-that I like are big supporters of Donald Trump.

This is difficult for me because I basically see Trump as an insincere jerk with a big touch of douche in him. His appeal is totally lost on me.

Some people see a strong leader. I see a dope with a big mouth. Some people see a business genius. I see a relentless self promoter who's as sincere as a lap dance and wrong about as many times as he is right.

But one of the things that has bothered me is the comparison some have made between Trump and Ronald Reagan. Craig Shirley, who worked in Reagan's campaigns said, "In the '60s and '70s he(Reagan) was often derided by the eastern elites, by academia, by the establishment of the Republican party. He was considered the George Wallace of the Republican party, a grade B actor with premature orange hair."   

Yeah, but...

Reagan:  He was born in poverty.

Trump:    He was born very rich.

Reagan:   He worked his way up the Hollywood ladder on his own.

Trump:    He proudly tells audiences that he started out with a mere "million dollar loan" from his dad.

Reagan:   Started out as a Roosevelt/Truman Democrat but left the party in 1962. He said,"I didn't leave the Democratic Party. The party left me."  Basically, he began his shift in the 50's when he was a spokesman for General Electric.

Trump:     May/may not have been a Democrat or Republican. Not sure. He's given a lot of money to Democrats over the years. He says he's changed his position on several issues. He's been pro/anti abortion, pro/anti second amendment.  His basic theme is everyone is stupid except for him and he's the only one that can make "good deals" to make America "win".

Reagan:    Believed in The 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not speak ill of another Republican.

Trump:      Believes the last Republican President should have been impeached. Believed the party's nominee in 2008, John McCain, a Vietnam POW, was not a "war hero". Trump said he liked people that "weren't captured" and that McCain's experience was "irrelevant."   Trump called the last Republican nominee, Mitt Romney, "a dope".  He made derisive personal comments about Carly Fiorina, Ben Carson, Jeb Bush, and just about every other Republican not named Jeff Sessions, Chris Christie, or Sarah Palin.

Reagan:    Gave great speeches. "A Time For Choosing".  The Fortieth Anniversary of D-Day. "Mr. Gorbachev: Tear Down This Wall". The remarks on The Shuttle Disaster.  "A shining city on a hill".

Trump:      Most of his speeches seem off the cuff.  Spends a lot of time talking about polls. "Really amazing". "Totally unbelievable".  Says "I" and "Me" about four hundred times more than President Obama, the previous winner of the "I'm The Messiah You've Heard So Much About" award.

Reagan:     Two marriages. The first marriage died due to irreconcilable differences. The second marriage lasted over fifty years.

Trump:       Three marriages, trading in the old one for a newer model. The current Mrs. Trump has posed nude making her the first potential First Lady to ever appear naked in a magazine.

Reagan:      Memorable debate performance-"Are you better off than you were four years ago?"

Trump:        Memorable debate performance- felt the need to defend the size of his penis.

Reagan:       Had the support of all of the conservative infrastructure including The National Review  and George Will.

Trump:        Does not have the support of conservative intellectuals. He has the considerable support from a lot of radio talk show hosts and Ann Coulter.

I could go on and on. All I can say is Donald Trump is no Ronald Reagan.
      

The Kids Might Be Alright

I try not to write on the same subject two weeks in a row, but I read something which has to be commented on.

For my money, if you want to read something stupid, you might as well go to Salon. It is one those magazines that prints articles like "Hillary Clinton Can't Win: Democrats Need To Accept The Fact That Only Bernie Sanders Can Defeat The GOP" and "Scalia Was An Intellectual Phony: Can We Please Stop Calling Him A Brilliant Jurist".  It is a bossy little website.


Today we are going to discuss "Stop Buying Old Bob Dylan Albums: Every Time Somebody Buys a Reissue They're Just Taking Money Away From New Musicians".

I would understand if it was an article title "Stop Buying New Bob Dylan Albums: Have You Heard That Sinatra One?!"  For those of you that don't keep up with Bob, he released an album of his renditions of old Frank Sinatra songs last year. I'm not saying it was bad, but I'm pretty sure Frank would have told Bob to knock it off or it is going to be a ring-a-ding-ding for Mr. Tambourine man

But this article wasn't really about Bob Dylan. It is about old boomers like me not giving the new generation a chance to sell me their tunes.

A music critic, Jim Fusili, calls us old timers that like to take the music the off the shelve and listen to it by ourselves as Gee-Bees (for "Generational Bias"). He has made it "his mission" in life to "introducing out-of-touch listeners to some of the best new music being made today—from Bon Iver to D’Angelo, Frank Ocean to the Arctic Monkeys, Janelle Monae to St. Germain". Which would be great considering I think I may have heard of Frank Ocean and the Arctic Monkeys but I'm not sure.  I could be thinking of Billy Ocean ("I wanna be your, wanna be your, wanna be your lover boy") and the regular Monkees  who people say were monkeying around.

Fusili says, “We’re surrounded by people who, despite a narrow perspective, insist the music of their youth is superior to the sounds of any other period,”  Gads, all those people with narrow perspectives surrounding us. The nerve of them saying the music they like sounds good.

He continues,  “Most people who prefer old music mean no harm and it’s often a pleasure to listen to them talk about their favorite artists of the distant past." Yep, Sonny, I mean no harm when I tell you that side two of Abbey Road is almost as good as s-e-x. Just wait till I tell you kids about the first time I heard "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting".

However, "others are bullies who intend to harangue is into submission, as if their bluster can conceal their ignorance. They ignore what seems to me something that’s self-evident: rock and pop today is as good as it’s ever been.”.   I'm not sure who really "bullies" anybody about musical tastes, but I'm sure there's going to be a White House Conference about it if Clinton or Sanders is elected.

Fusili says, "I don’t think the (music) industry knows how to market music to grown-ups". Now that's the truth. The only music that used to be marketed to grown-ups was country music and it was all about trains, trucks, rain, mamma, prison, and getting drunk. Which pretty much sums up adulthood. But now country music is about  pretty people in pretty trucks with other pretty people. You used to imagine Tammy Wynette serving you at The Waffle House.  Now you are just happy you are allowed to breath the same air as Carrie Underwood.

But he goes off the rails when he says, "My feeling is that every time somebody buys a reissue, they’re just taking money away from new musicians. He says it like it was a bad thing, which is really my objection.

It is no longer, "open yourself up to new music and maybe you'll like it".  It is now you are doing some wrong if you download Pet Sounds to your iPhone. It takes a mere preference and an expression of an opinion, which let's face it are belly buttons-everybody has one, and makes it into something almost darker than it really is.  Older people have always liked older music.

Decades ago there was a singer named Andy Williams. You may have heard of him. He did the best version ever of "Moon River". He had a television show. One time he had Ray Charles, Cass Elliot and Elton John on and all four were singing "Heaven Help Us All". My dad, Old Man Manis, was watching said, "Andy just 'aint as good of singer as the rest of them", which was the hippest thing my dad ever said.  I suggest you go to YouTube and see that he was right.


If the music is good enough, older people will like it. If not, they won't. If they miss out, they miss out.

Here's a link to the article:http://www.salon.com/2016/02/20/stop_buying_old_bob_dylan_albums_every_time_somebody_buys_a_reissue_theyre_just_taking_money_away_from_new_musicians/

This Year's Obligatory Grammy Blog Post

Maybe I'm becoming a big grump, but I've gotten to the point where I don't even bother with award shows any more.

The reason is I simply don't care. I don't care if Leonardo DiCaprio wins an Oscar. I mean, I don't wish him any harm. I've enjoyed his movies over the years even though there's just something icky about him I can't put my finger on. It is just my life doesn't revolve around a rich person getting honored and praised. I thought that's what the money was for.

And no, you're not going to get me into the controversy about the "lack of diversity" in the Oscar nominees. Besides this blog's commitment to NEVER discussing the topic that never ends (Race), I can honestly say I haven't been to a movie in well over a year.  In fact, the last movie I went to was a cartoon (The Penguins of Madagascar). My wife and I were, literally, the oldest people in the theater.

I cannot begin to comment on who should and should not have been nominated.  I just know the Penguins didn't get squat.

I haven't seen the latest Star Wars movie either. I've seen the other Star Wars, beginning with the first one I saw for FREE in 1977. (There were some kids from school that worked at the theater and they let me in. I would like to thank Kathy and Debi for letting me in even if they didn't give me free popcorn.)

But over the years, I've always tried to watch The Grammys because, well, I've always tried to follow music. But music has a way of galloping ahead and I have lost track what is popular in music today. Mainly because it gives me a headache, especially Rap and Hip-Hop, but it is not limited to those genres.

Believe it or not, I know who Taylor Swift is and I might recognize one of her songs if I heard it in the grocery store. But from what I can tell most of her songs are about her boyfriends and what creeps they ended up being and it is just wee bit out of my demographic.

Country Music probably should be my demographic (middle aged white Southern male) but I don't think I can name a popular country songs except for "Girl Crush", which doesn't sound anything Loretta or Tammy would have sang.  But country music is basically real bad rock music filled with "hunks".

Like Luke Bryan. We went a taping of The Tonight Night last summer and Luke Bryan was the musical guest. Luke Bryan is a very handsome man. In fact, if my wife walked up to me and said Luke Bryan wanted to run away with her, I would tell her to go ahead. I know she loves me and all that, but, come on, the girl is human. But as a performer, he is really marginal.

Now classic rock-that's my demographic. The only problem is that all of our classic rock heroes are dying. In this year's Grammys, Lady Gaga performed a tribute to David Bowie, who was sort of like a male Lady Gaga back in the '70's. Or Lady Gaga, is a 2K female version of David Bowie.

I wanted to see the tribute to Glenn Frey from the Eagles. I must admit that his death was the first one that sort of got to me. Everybody loved the Eagles and his voice was one of the few a tone death person like me could harmonize with.

Did you think Glenn Frey would be the first member of the Eagles to die? I didn't. My money was on Joe Walsh, all the way.

But behold, the Grammy Record of The Year was "Uptown Funk" by Bruno Mars and this song just happens to be on my iTunes. You know when I show up I'm going to show out smother than a fresh jar of Skippy.  I got to kiss myself, I'm so pretty.

Everybody Knows

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died  - Leonard Cohen

Good God, have these people lost their ever lovin' minds?***

I'm serious here for a second. How could anyone, with or without a college degree, male or female, young or old, vote for either Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders?  Please, don't try to tell me.

On the Republican side, you will hear that Trump always speaks his mind. Like that is a good thing.

On both my mother's and father's side, I had relatives that spoke their minds. What was going on in their minds was so important, that you HAD to hear it. What was going on in your mind was not as important because it was probably stupid.

Frankly, I think it would be a good thing if Trump had an unexpressed thought.  Bill Maher says it is like Trump has political Tourette Syndrome.  That's how weird this political season has been: Bill Maher is making sense.

There are so many examples of this, the latest being Trump calling Ted Cruz a slang term for genitalia. Ho hum. That's just the Donald being the Donald. He's going to make America great again by trash talking.

Cruz, probably the most conservative candidate in the race, was called what the news called "the p-word" because he would have to think about waterboarding.  Just pausing to think about waterboarding (not ruling it out mind you) gets him tagged as a sissy in Trump World. That sound you heard was Lincoln and Washington turning over in their graves.

Everybody knows a President Trump would be a train wreck. There is nothing Presidential about him, unless you think acting like a jerk is Presidential.

Everybody knows he is a vain, bitter, vindictive man. 

Everybody knows he can't build a wall, which he said last week would cost 8 billion dollars and it is not clear if that includes the door in the middle to let the "good ones" back in.

Then you have Bernie Sanders. Quick, think of something Bernie Sanders has actual done besides being Bernie Sanders?  He is this grouchy old Socialist who wants to bore with you his opinion on The Spanish Civil War.

But, as I point out last week, the kids love him. He promises free college, better wi-fi, more days off, pizza every Friday, and ice cream with sprinkles.

How he is going to do it? Easy: get it from the rich people. Hey kids, you will be surprised how rich your parents are according to President Sanders.

Everybody knows he can't do it. There's not that many rich people out there.

Socialism sounds nice. Everybody shares. But somebody has to make everybody share and the government decides what is sharing and what is not. Socialism is all fun and games until they deny grandma a hip.

Everybody knows the Clintons have invested too much over the years to let another novelty act take away their crown.  Everybody knows that when the Democrats go South, Hillary is going to cash in her chips and will win the nomination.

Sure, it is fun watching her sweat. And nobody can make up sillier arguments than Hillary Clinton and the 90's feminists. (If you are a woman and not voting for Clinton, you are going to Hell). But there is no way on this green earth that Clinton will lose to Sanders.

That is what makes the Republican so frustrating . They hate each other so much, they can't focus on the Democrats.

Everybody knows there has to be somebody better than Trump. Or Sanders. Or Clinton.

*** A friend of mine wrote this in response: "New Hampshire is an interesting place, and where I work. It is the "Live Free or Die State" and not like any other New England state. It is very anti-establishment, which is why voters gravitated to those personas more than specific policies"