About Some 70s Music

 

 

 I hate to tell you that my 50th high school class reunion is coming up next year.

Yes, I and some other Wheeler "Wildcats" are planning a gala 50-year reunion. 

You may remember, in 2017, we celebrated our 40th high school reunion and yours truly was the Grand Host. I told a couple of jokes and introduced The Grammar Hammer himself, Roger Hines, who spoke to us about the importance of split infinitives. Or gerunds. Something like that. All I know it was a long time ago and I didn't study for the test. 

So, I have been thinking about the 70s a lot.  

As a person who majored in history, and yes, somehow managed to find a job, I think the 70s can be defined as the era when hit records, even though they "sounded" good, were actually strange.

I think you can determine if someone is eligible for Medicare by simply walking up to them and say: THE SIGN SAYS YOU GOT TO HAVE A MEMBERSHIP CARD TO GET INSIDE.  If they grunt ("HUH"), then you know they are somewhere in their sixties. 

This is a lyric from the song "Signs" by The Five Man Electrical Band. Upon hearing this song, for the first five thousand times on WFOM-1230, you think it is about "signs" and how they are "breaking my mind," and that is not a good thing. 

However, somewhere in my adulthood, I realized the song "Signs" is about a guy who wants to argue with people. 

The song begins, "The sign said long-haired freaky people need not apply".  The singer put his hair up under his hat and went in to talk to the owner of the business who needed help. This guy was so brilliant that the owner decided to hire him on the spot. The singer took off his hat to show up the owner THAT YES, A LONG HAIRED FREAKY PERSON CAN BE IMPRESSIVE.

This tells me a couple of things. One, the singer is unemployed. Two, the most he would do to get a job is to stick his hair up under his hat. 

The song continues:

And the sign said
"Anybody caught trespassin'
Will be shot on sight"
So I jumped on the fence and I yelled at the house
"Hey! What gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep me out
But to keep Mother Nature in?
If God was here, he'd tell you to your face
'Man, you're some kind of sinner'"

 

I don't know what gave him the right.  The deed of property?  Just a thought.

My Baptist background would add that God would tell him that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, even long-haired freaky people.

I like the idea of this guy sitting on a fence just yelling at the property owners.  They are in their house, watching a ball game or something. Husband says to the wife: "You hear anything?"  The wife says, "Yeah, just another long-haired  freaky person."

There was another song by the ultimate White person's band, Bread.  Bread was actually a bunch of studio musicians who would get together and cut an album.  The head Bread guy was David Gates, who would write these really sappy love songs.

Like "Baby, I'm A Want You".  I need Roger Hines to tell me if this is a grammatically correct sentence. It don't think it is. I'm always wary of songs that put in a superfluous letter A, like "The Times They Are A-Changin'".  Look Bob, just say the times are changing.

Their most hilarious song is "Diary".

 "I found her diary underneath a tree
And started reading about me."

How many times have you run across a book, picked it up and started reading it ("It was the best of times, it was the worst of times") and think, "Hey this is about me!"

It continues.

"When she <was>confronted with the writing there
Simply pretended not to care."

Actually, her reaction was, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING MY DIARY YOU KNUCKLEHEAD."

Then he learns the sad truth.

"The love she'd waited for
Was someone else, not me."

That'll teach him to read someone's diary without their permission. 

My friend, Terry McCoy, who is a songwriter in his spare time, commented on my Facebook page about this song, "I’ve always thought it was weird that anyone would write down their deepest, honest thoughts about everything. What good can come from that?"

I'll tell you, Terry. Nothing good could can come from that. But, at least it's not a sign.