2019: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Here we are at the end of 2019.

I think I can speak for everyone and say, man, what a stupid year.

Everything was stupid.

For example, in the NFC Championship Game, a Los Angeles Rams defensive back ran over a New Orleans Saints wide receiver with a pickup truck, which according to the rule book is pass interference.  But the referee, who was standing right there, didn't see it.  The missed call cost the Saints the game and with it, a trip to the Super Bowl.

So the Saints were stuck at home, watching The Super Bowl, which included commercials by Gillette razor which tried to talk men out of "toxic masculinity", whatever that is.

Speaking of stupid commercials, 2019 still saw its share of stupid commercials featuring a gecko with a British accent that is really interested in auto insurance and not to be outdone, Liberty Mutual has a commercial that pairs an emu selling auto insurance with a hapless agent named Doug.
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A lot of people had some stupid things happen to them in 2019

• A Florida man was arrested and spent 41 days in jail for heroin that turned out to be detergent.

• One family owed $500 in unpaid taxes and fines. County officials used this as justification to seize and sell their house to pocket $108,000.

• There are people that paid money to see the movie Cats.

• This is an actual tweet from Popular Science magazine:  Can you really absorb solar energy into your anus?  The short answer: No.  Your butt is not a plant.

• Apparently, there is a rumor out there that you can absorb solar energy into your anus and Popular Science had to tweet out an answer.  Besides everybody knows your anus stores wind energy. [Thank you, good night, you've been a wonderful audience]

However, if you want really stupid, just hop on over to your favorite social media platform.

In 2019, Facebook has booted “pro-white groups” and countless other “subversives” including  Jordan Peterson, Candace Owens (who is an African-American), and, Elizabeth Warren. The reason for this is some (stupid) people blame Facebook for every imaginable sin despite the fact Facebook provides an outlet to old people like me who want to know if ANYONE REMEMBERS GARY MCKEE. (Answer yes, he did the Shower Stall singers on Fox-97.  No, wait, that was Randy and Spiff. Hey, does anyone remember Channel 2?)

Anyway, there are some people who think the BAD ORANGE MAN in the White House is the fault of Facebook.  Exactly how Facebook did it is kind of murky, but apparently, it has to do with taking tests to see which Sweathog you would be on "Welcome Back, Kotter".  (This blogger was Arnold Horshack. Don't laugh at science)

Twitter is the King of Stupid right now. The great Dave Barry in his 2019 Year In Review, describes Twitter as "a medium that has the magical power to transform everything it touches, no matter how stupid it is, into something even stupider"

Back in February, Twitter alerted us to a new devious form of trouble: Catholic High School Boys Wearing MAGA Hats That Smirk.   Twitter jumped all over this story like a duck on a June bug, as we say in the South, especially the "blue checkmark" people which in the Twitter world means you are some sort of important person. The story about this incident turned out to be nothing that Twitter originally said it was about.

Then Twitter alerted us about Jussie Smollett who is a gay African-American actor who said he was attacked by White Racists early in the morning. The story showed how racist and homophobic America still is except that it didn't happen and Smollett made up the story for some unknown reason.

Of course, the person that has weaponized Twitter is President Trump who prefers Twitter to go above the American news media and get his message out with BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS, exclamation points, and even correctly spelled words on occasion. For example, The President tweeted about his dinner for the National Champion Clemson Tiger football team: "I served them massive amounts of Fast Food over 1000 hamberders".

It would be wrong to say President Trump has the market cornered on stupidity. Nope, Democrats were pretty stupid too.

Democrats have spent a good part of three years stating The Mueller Report would definitely, without a doubt, prove that Trump colluded with the Russians to manipulate the 2016 election with carefully targeted Facebook memes designed to deceive the dunderheads that couldn't even get into an Ivy League school. This would lead to impeachment, baby, yeah!

The Mueller Report came out and didn't really prove anything.

But don't worry, Trump made a phone call that somebody overheard and told somebody who filed a "whistleblower" compliant. Now this lead to impeachment, we think, because as of this date, Nancy Pelosi hasn't filed it with the Senate. Depending upon which cable news channel you watch this tactic by Pelosi is either: A) The smartest thing ever done or B) The dumbest thing ever done.

To top it off, the Democrats have 450 candidates for President, none of which is exactly inspiring.

Joe Biden is the front runner mainly because, well, have you looked at all of the other guys?

Elizabeth Warren trumpeted that she was a true, for real, a descendant of Native Americans except if she ever has a nosebleed she's out of the tribe.

Many of the 450 have imploded and I can't figure out which implosion was my favorite.  I liked it when Beto O'Rouke got out because he was such a dweeb.  I laughed when Kamala Harris got out because she said she was in favor of school busing to achieve integration, which everybody of every color hates.

In Virginia, it was discovered that the governor wore blackface in a photograph for the medical school yearbook back in 1984.  He was about to resign when it was learned the Lieutenant Governor had been accused of sexual assault.  If the governor and the lieutenant governor resigned, the Attorney General of Virginia would become governor but it turned out  HE TOO HAD WORN BLACKFACE FOR A PHOTOGRAPH.   Now, if the governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general resigned, the Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau would become governor. As luck would have it, Prime Minister Trudeau had been photographed in blackface. Everybody forgot about their original outrage and all of the above kept their jobs.

Probably the dumbest scandal involved that TV star who is married that guy who is on that show on Showtime and another TV star in that show from a long time ago trying to get their dopey children in "good" colleges by lying and cheating. What do they think these kids are, football players?  The crime including paying people to take the kids' ACT and SAT exams and bribing "rowing" coaches to accept the kids on the rowing team even though the kids have never been on a boat.

Not everything was stupid in 2019.  There was one prospective mom and dad who DIDN'T do a gender reveal party.  Thanks, guys, you brought back my faith in humanity.

Hoya Saxa

Something big happened this weekend in my part of Cobb County.

For your information, Cobb County is basically split into four sections: North Cobb, South Cobb, East Cobb, and West Cobb.

I was raised in East Cobb and it starts at The Big Chicken (of course) and goes east to Fulton County. I live in West Cobb now which is west of The Big Chicken and heads towards Paulding County.  If you are under the impression that The Big Chicken is the center of Cobb County, well, you're probably right.

East Cobb is referred to as "East Snob" because it (generally) has a lot of people who live in fancy houses and drive fancy cars that believe, in all sincerity, that they are better than you because they are better than you.

West Cobb is referred to as "West Slob" because we have that same amount of people who live in fancy houses and drive fancy cars but don't live in East Cobb.  If that doesn't make a lot of sense, welcome to my life.

But like I said, something big happened in West Cobb. We had not one but TWO high schools win their respected classifications championships in football: The Harrison Hoyas and The Marietta Blue Devils.

It is important to remember that in the American South, football is not a religion. No, it is more important than that.  It is life itself, at least with some people.

In Georgia, though, we are not like Texas.  We don't have humongous stadiums for high school football.  We have perfectly reasonable stadiums.

When my son (BEN MANIS #38) played for the Kennesaw Mountain Mustangs, Harrison was their biggest rival.

I use the term "rival" advisedly because while the two schools were only three miles apart, Harrison was always better. The kids were smarter. The parents were richer. The moms were prettier. The dads were more handsome. Their teams almost always beat Kennesaw Mountain.

It was like when I was growing up in East Cobb and going to Wheeler. Our rival was Sprayberry. We were better. Sorry, we were. We called Sprayberry "the redneck school" because, well, they were rednecks, unlike us aristocrats at the school on Holt Road.

Of course, the head coach of the Kennesaw Mountain Mustangs when my son played was a graduate of Sprayberry.

As Joe Biden would say, the yearly game versus Harrison was a Big (Really Bad Word) Deal

The week of the Harrison game was always intense, especially when it was a Kennesaw Mountain home game.  It drew the largest crowd and made the most money for the program.

My son said the head coach would conclude the Monday practice by saying "Men. As you know, the Hoyas (Note: there is no such a thing as a "hoya". It is a Greek word meaning "what". So they were playing the Harrison Whats) will be here Friday night.  There will be 15 thousand people in the stands."

Tuesday:  "Men, there will be 25 thousand people in the stands".

Wednesday:  "Men, there will be 50 thousand people in the stands"

Thursday:  "Men, there will be 100 thousand people in the stands, ESPN is covering the game and CNN will have a reporter on the sidelines."

Then the game was played on Friday and Harrison would always kill the Mustangs.

Until one Friday night in October.

It was Harrison's homecoming.  As the 100 thousand, (give or take 95 to 98 thousand) packed into their stadium, we watched as the Hoyas were coming onto the field.   The cheerleaders held the big paper "run through". On it read THERE'S A REASON WHY WE CHOSE YOU FOR HOMECOMING.

You can imagine how great that went over with the Mustang folks.

I can't give you a play-by-play about the game.  It happened a long time ago and there's been a lot of water under that bridge. However, the Mustangs won the game in sudden-death overtime.

In the visitors' stand, it was sheer pandemonium. We were all jumping up and down acting ape crazy. I 'm surprised they didn't take away our driver's licenses and voting rights.

Over on the home side, it looked like a still life painting.  If it was a painting it would be titiled "I Can't Believe It".

Yes, there has been a lot of water under the bridge since then. The guys on both teams are marrying, buying houses, and having kids. High school is a memory for them. Not as distant as it will be, but it is distant.

They had both Championship games on Georgia Public Television so I was able to watch Harrison's and Marietta's victories.

I was happy for them.  In the grand scheme of things, it may not matter all that much, but it is still nice to see young people, working as a team, and accomplishing something.

Congratulations to the Blue Devils and the Whats Hoyas from this old Wildcat and Mustang dad.

As It Stands Now

Are you excited gang?  It is only 57 or so days away from the Iowa Caucus.

Allow me to put on my History Major hat. Years ago, the nominees of the Democratic and Republican parties were selected in "smoke-filled rooms" (I'm sure you've heard that phrase before).

The party hotshots would get together and they would try to figure out who best represented their party in the coming Presidential election. They would meet in rooms, smoke cigarettes, and pick their nominee. Sometimes the selections made some sense (think FDR), then other times, it didn't (Alf London).  But the whole point is John Q. Public was blissfully left out of the loop until the nominating conventions.

There are many reasons for this change, one being Jimmy Carter winning the Iowa Caucus in 1976 despite nobody knowing who he was and where Iowa was and why they had a caucus in the first place.

Every four years since 1976, candidates have been schlepping up to Iowa to look at cornfields pretending to know what they are looking at.

It is important because it is the actual start of the Presidential election season, even though it has been underway since the last Presidential election.

There have been some changes in the Democratic party flock of candidates.  Several people have dropped out and several people have jumped in.

Here's a couple of the ones that have dropped out.

Beto "Beto" O'Rourke. O'Rourke became famous last year because he almost beat Ted Cruz. You know who beat Ted Cruz?  Donald Trump.

If Hyde on "That 70s Show" ran for president, he would be Beto O'Rourke.  He was for confiscating guns, taxing churches if they don't follow the current LBTQRSTVWXYZ mandate de jour, and whatever the Twitter trolls said he should do. Soon it became pretty clear that he didn't represent a "lane"  (moderate or progressive) of the Democratic Party unless you consider "goofball" a lane.

Beto dropped out and I don't think anybody noticed.

Speaking of people trying to please Twitter, Kamala Harris dropped out of the race last week.  In the beginning, Harris had what Obama had (race) and what Hillary had (gender).  What she didn't have: a reason why anybody that voted for Obama twice but for Trump in 2016 should vote for her. Soon, she got lost in the gaggle of candidates and became just another voice.

However, two other candidates have jumped in.

One is Michael Bloomberg, the former Mayor of New York.  Just what the Democrats need: another 77-year-old candidate. Bloomberg is the type of leader that unites people, mainly in disliking him. Liberals hated his "stop and frisk" while Mayor of New York. Conservatives hated his plan to confiscate guns.  Everybody hated his Big Gulp ban because it is just another example of the big old Nanny state wanting to control every aspect of a person's life.

I will say this. I have been to New York City when he was Mayor and I have been to New York City under Mayor Bill De Blasio.  It is like night and day.  Under Bloomberg, the streets were clean and everybody acted like they had some sense. Under De Blasio, people are sleeping on the sidewalks, bathing in fountains, and women are walking around topless with painted chests.  By the way, De Blasio was once running for President, too. He's dropped out because nobody likes him.

Another new candidate is Deval Patrick, former governor of Massachusetts. Patrick is now working for Bane Capital and if there is one thing we have learned is how popular former governors of Massachusetts who work for Bane Capitol are.

The rest of the candidates are sort of plodding along.  Elizabeth Warren had a surge there for a while until it was determined that most of her "plans" included a "money tree" that only rich people have and that she's still coming up with a definition of rich (oddly enough, it probably includes you).

Bernie Sanders is still plodding along, shouting at the American people like we can't hear. We hear you, Bernie. You want us to be Sweden. Gah.

Joe Biden is plodding along too. He's becoming more like Uncle Joe every day, except not in a good way.  He's telling stories about "Corn Pop" who was a "bad dude" and calling fat people "fat".

Trump can say some crazy things, but you are pretty confident that he's oriented to time and place. You're never quite sure if Biden knows where's he at half the time.

Mayor Pete Buttigieg is making some waves. He's everything the Twitter world loves: young and gay. However, he has little or no African-American support and he is the mayor of the fourth largest city in Indiana.

Just this past week, Buttigieg was blasted for, now hold on to your hats, ringing the bell for the Salvation Army Christmas kettles.  The Salvation Army is on the "naughty" list because of their belief in traditional marriage.

That's where the Democratic party is now: criticizing the Salvation Army Christmas kettles.

2020 is going to be a long year.

This Week's Picks Week 13

Can you believe we are at Week 13 of the College Football Season?

Times flies, especially this week.  I've been kind of busy- watching "Jack Ryan" on Amazon Prime.

Jack Ryan is a character in a lot of the late Tom Clancey books.  He's smart. He's strong. He looks like Jim from "The Office".

Just for laughs, they should have called this show "Jim Ryan- Jack's Younger Brother". The show could be about a CIA analyst who marries the receptionist and whose boss is kind of a macho version of Stanley from Dunder-Mifflin

It is really a good show. It sort of reminds me of "24" except nobody is shouting (at least so far) about setting up a perimeter.
 

This Week's Picks!


Jawja vs Aggies:  Is it just me or does it seem wrong that Texas A&M is in the Southeast Conference?  They are 7-3 so far this year, so they can bite. Which reminds me, in certain parts of Texas, Louisiana, and Arkansas,  Aggie jokes are all the rage. For example: how many Aggie freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a second-year course.  Why don't Aggies use  911 in an emergency?  Because they can't find 11 on their phone dial.  I shouldn't be hard on Texas A&M, after all, they don't serve ice in their cafeterias. The senior who knew the recipe graduated.  Oh yeah, the game.  UGA wins


The Ahia State vs The Lions of Nittany:  There was a story floating around the internet that some Buckeye fans had a few tweets for ESPN's Gameday when they announced it was coming to Columbus. It was all blah, blah, SEC, blah, blah, how come you don't show Ahia State twenty-four hours a day.  Basically, Ohio State is the Alabama of the North. If you don't run a thousand positive stories about them, there's something seriously wrong with you.  Anyway, Ohio State vs Penn State is the game this weekend. I've never been an Ohio State fan, but they have been mowing people down this year and their quarterback is from Kennesaw. This is business. Ohio State is for real.  Ohio State wins.


Ducks vs Deviled Sons:  The Quacks play Arizona State this week. They should win. They will. Oregon wins.


Aroused Lizards vs OK Boomer: Okay, I'll admit it. I cannot stay up late and watch the Prime Time game after watching college football all afternoon.  I have to hit the sack so I can go to church on Sunday morning. Don't hate me because I worship God. I went to bed last Saturday thinking Baylor whupped up on Oklahoma. I check the scores when I woke up Sunday morning and Glory BE! Oklahoma had won. The Lord works in mysterious ways.  This week, the Sooners play the Horned Frogs, which always makes me giggle.  Sooners win.


Kennesaw State vs Gardner-Webb. In the last home game of the season, My Beloved Owls play Gardner-Webb University. Gardner-Webb is where my youngest niece goes and she is on the Varsity Women's LaCrosse team. For real. Their football stinks. Owls win.

This Week's Picks Week 12

Whoa. I didn't see this coming. Honestly.

The latest College Football Playoff Rankings were released this past Tuesday.

LSU, where college men go in dumb and come out dumb too, jumped over Ohio State to land in the number one slot.  Since they beat Alabama, it makes sense.

THE Ohio State University (TOSU) is in the number two slot. They beat Cumberland College 222-0 last Saturday. Oops, I'm being told that TOSU played The University of Maryland and won 73-14.

The number three slot went to Clemson. Clemson and their long-haired hippie quarterback beat North Carolina State 55-10.

At number four was......HUNKER DOWN YOU HAIRY DAWGS.  Sorry, Georgia was placed in the number four slot,  which you got to admit is a little surprising.

I expected Alabama to be in the number four slot because they lost to the number one team in the nation (LSU) by only five points and that their name is Alabama.

There's also this little thing of Georgia losing to South Carolina, which lost to Appalachian State which lost to Georgia Southern which lost to Minnesota which hasn't lost a game.

But Georgia beat Notre Dame and Florida, so I guess that counts more than losing by five points to LSU.

Whatever. I'll take it.

I can't imagine the callers to Paul Finebaum are going to be too happy. To be honest, I'm not sure Georgia could beat Alabama.  I know they can't beat LSU.

This Week's Picks!

Jawja vs Wartigers:  UGA goes to "The Loveliest Village In The Ugliest Part of The State" for their annual game against Auburn which dates back to the late 1400s.  It is an intense rivalry of two fan bases who believe the same thing about their team: We Can't Have Nice Things. UGA is getting a little bit of their confidence back, but they are going into Jordan-Hare (pronounced "Jer-den Hayer") Stadium a little dinged up. I am worried about this game. UGA wins.


Tech vs Tech:  Ah yes, the game I can't pick wrong. Virginia Tech versus Georgia Tech. The Hokies (Have we ever found out what a Hokie is? Don't tell me) stroll into Grant Field with a 6-3 record. Georgia Tech, bless their hearts.   Tech wins.


Clem's son vs Possessed Deacons:  Wake Forest is actually having a pretty good year. Do I think they can beat the Tigers and the Long-Haired quarterback?  Not a chance.  Clemson wins.


Ok Boomer vs  Baptist Bears: Flying under the radar this year has been the Baylor Bears. Baylor has not lost a game all year but they are not in the playoff picture yet, mainly because they are Baylor. Oklahoma was breezing along until they ran into Kansas State. Baylor has the best defense in The Big 12, which is like saying "the smartest Kardashian daughter".  Oklahoma has the best offense in The Big 12,  due to having a forty-year-old quarterback.  This ought to be a good game. Oklahoma wins.


Kennesaw State vs Hampton:  My Beloved Owls travel to Hampton, Virginia to play the Hampton Pirates and stay at the Hampton Inn (I guess).  The Owls are battling to stay alive in the FCS playoff race. Owls win.

Okay Boomer (And Kids)

Back when I was growing up, in the '60s and early '70s there was something called "The Generation Gap".

The Baby Boom Generation (those born from 1946 to 1964) were becoming young adults, and man, they were rebelling against the older generation with their rules, regulations, and morals-everything that was keeping them from being "free". Which generally meant the liberty for taking as many drugs as they wanted and having as much sex a person could possibly have.

Other things were going on too, of course. There was the Vietnam War. You kids have no idea what a big deal the Vietnam War was. There were protests. There were songs. Our Presidents, while they were not as, um, unique, as our current one, Presidents Johnson and Nixon were still controversial and still sort of funny looking.

On top of all this, boys started to grow their hair long, like The Beatles.  Girls, for their part, stopped wearing bras, which sounded like a good idea, at least for some of them.

All of this caused the Boomers and the "Older Generation" to be at each other's throats.

Fast forward to the 21st Century. There's a new Generation Gap, this time featuring the Boomers versus the groups knows as "The Millennials" (those born from 1981 to 1996) and "Gen Z" (born between 1997-2010).  The group could be called "our children".

One of the first (money-making) salvos in this new Generation Gap is the phrase "Ok Boomer".  The phrase is the younger generation's retort to most of what we boomers have to say.  At least, that's what The New York Times says: "Teenagers use it to reply to cringey YouTube videos, Donald Trump tweets, and basically any person over 30 who says something condescending about young people — and the issues that matter to them." 

The Times goes on to report on a young lady named Shannon O'Connor who has cleared ten thousand dollars selling "OK Boomer Have A Terrible Day" t-shirts. (The kids sure did inherit our ability to be snotty.)

The Times quotes her as saying “The older generations grew up with a certain mindset, and we have a different perspective". (Gee, ya' think?)  “A lot of them don’t believe in climate change or don’t believe people can get jobs with dyed hair, and a lot of them are stubborn in that view. Teenagers just respond, ‘Ok, boomer.’ It’s like, we’ll prove you wrong, we’re still going to be successful because the world is changing.”

I'm not quite sure where Ms. O'Connor got her market research. For example, I've worked with a lot of women in my career and I'm pretty sure they had dyed hair, yeah come on.  But I do kind of like her plucky can-do spirit about making money by selling t-shirts. What's more American than that?

In regards to "climate change", Ms. O'Connor is 19 years old. If my math is correct, this means she was born in 2000.  At that time, "climate change" was called "global warming", which always got a push back when we had a cold winter. Before that, we had a hole in the ozone layer. Before that, we had the threat of global cooling.  This is in between various freakouts over nuclear power, oil spills, and overpopulation. Maybe the older generations have a "certain mindset" because we have heard it all before. The alarm bells, the warnings, the predictions that 20 years from now LIFE AS WE KNOW IT WILL END.   Maybe we just got jaded to it.

Many of the articles about "Ok Boomer" pointed to a reaction by Boomers called the phrase "ageist" and one person tweeted that it was just like a well-known slur.  This prompted the Dictionary to tweet that it was not a slur. I didn't even know The Dictionary had a Twitter account.

"Ok Boomer" may not be a slur, but it is not a term of endearment either.

Look, when I was young, I rolled my eyes at the stories of the generation before me. They walked to school every day. It was three miles and it was uphill both ways. They liked it. They loved it. They would do it again, unlike you hippies smoking your funny cigarettes and not Camel cigarettes like God intended.

Yes, maybe, you have been given the short side of the stick. College is expensive. That's life, kid.

But you have a lot going for you. You can understand all of the new technology, with ease. Y'all can text with ease. I remember the first text I sent out. It took me twenty minutes.

I  have just figured out how to use my key fob.

I promise you. Things will get better. When I was 24, I was living at home, with my parents. My father was dying of COPD. I was working, part-time, at a convenience store. I had three dates since I turned 20.  To top it off,  we were constantly told that we were on the edge of a real existential crisis: a nuclear holocaust. The President was a partially deaf former movie star.

By the time I was 31, I was married, had a good job, had a wife, had a kid, and had a house. The Berlin Wall, which was a wall to keep people in rather than out, had fallen.

Just keep plugging away. I know guys like me sound like Abe Simpson yelling at a cloud. But, we're not saying anything we didn't hear when we were your age.

Just stop saying The Beatles were "overrated".  Okay, kids?

This Week's Picks Week 11

ICYMI: The Collge Football Playoff Rankings came out this week.

Number 1:  The Ohio State.  This is not a surprise. The Buckeyes have been killing everybody this year.

Number 2:  LSU.  I would have put LSU ahead Ahia State simply because I'm a Southerner and I'm prejudiced favor of the SEC.

Number 3:  Alabama.  Alabama is a really good team, I guess. Like The Ahia State, they've been killing everybody. Their soft schedule probably pulled them down to three. Plus, I think it is a law that Alabama has to make the playoffs.

Number 4:  Penn State.  It looks like Penn State has finally exorcised the ghost of JoePa and has made it back to the big time.

There you have it. Two Big Ten Schools and Two SEC schools.  Clemson was put in at 5 due to a soft schedule and the near loss to North Carolina. Georgia comes in at 6, which is the highest one loss team.

This Week's Picks!



Jawja vs Moo-souri.  After two ugly games, UGA looked pretty good against Florida last week. Now all Georgia has to do is win the rest of their games. Piece. Of. Cake.  Missouri is first on the list. Missouri started out strong this year but slipped back into the same old Missouri habits. UGA is just 14 1/2 point favorite against Missouri which begs the question: When did they start handing out 1/2 points in football? Dawgs win.



Wrecked vs The Hoos: Speaking of odds, Georgia Tech is a 16 point underdog against Virginia. However, Tech beat Miami which has beaten Virginia. As Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say, "It just goes to show you, Jane, anything can happen in college football.  But Tech beating Virginia won't happen. I mean they got them little bitty players and that big old husky punter. I mean what are they thinking down North Avenue" Virginia wins

The Lions of Nittany vs Minniesoda:  Flying under the radar this year is the University of Minnesota which hasn't lost a game all year. Really.  Neither has  Penn State. The coach of the Gophers (yup, there's a mascot to strike fear in an opponent) begged ESPN GAMEDAY to broadcast from their campus. Problem. There's a little game in Alabama that just a tad bit bigger. If Minnesota could win this game, people will finally take them seriously.  The problem is they won't.  Penn State wins.


Ellesyou vs Raw Tad. Number One versus Number Two.  The Game of the Year. The Bout to Knock You Out.  It is going to be interesting, but for some reason, I think this is LSU's year. LSU wins


Kennesaw State vs Campbell.  In case you didn't hear, My Beloved Owls lost last week which made getting to the FCS playoffs problematic.  The Campbell Camels (yes, Camels) are 6-2.  I think the Owls bounce back. Kennesaw wins.

This Week's Picks Week 10

The big news in college football is that "The NCAA's top decision-makers voted unanimously Tuesday to start the process of modifying its rule to allow college athletes to profit from their names, images, and likenesses in a manner consistent with the collegiate model."

It may surprise you but I think college athletes should be paid something. Especially football players since football players are the ones that are actually bringing in the money so the school can have a rowing team to attract the daughters of actresses that star in Hallmark Channel movies.

I realize it is a controversial opinion because college football is an amateur sport. Well, it is supposed to be. I'm not sure college football ever was an amateur sport. We just never knew about it. Unless you actually went to school with the star college football player and you saw him, the eleventh of fourteen children, tooling about town in a BMW. Of course, it was given to him by his dad, who was a professional scrap metal collector.

Social media has been its usual help with the issue. Some people imply that it is the end of college sports are we know it. While others don't see the big deal.

It will probably end up somewhere in the middle. I really don't see how you can prevent, an adult, from profiting from his name, his image, and his likeness. But then again, I'm sure it will be abused and a player will sign with a shoe company that isn't the school's show company and pretty soon everything is higgledy-piggledy.

The NCAA wants the "process" to be completed by 2021. That's only two years. It should be interesting to see what the rule modification will be.



This Week's Picks!


Jawja vs Floreduh:  One of the things about "The Largest Drunk Tank In The Southeast Game" that has always bothered me is that it is played in Jacksonville, which my Cobb County Public School education has taught me is in Florida. This is state the University of Florida is located. I have always heard that the game is held in Jacksonville because it is "between Athens, Georiga and Gainesville, Florida". Gainesville is 71.4 miles from Jacksonville.  Athens is 338.5 miles.  It turns out Jacksonville earns the game the old fashion way: they pay for it. Jacksonville pays both schools $2.75 million.  Wait, oh yeah, the game.  Georgia is not quite as good as was advertised and Florida is better than we thought.  I think this is a close game, but Jake will be the difference. Dawgs win.
 

The Pitts vs The Flats:  Georgia Tech won a game two weeks ago. You can't lose them all. Pittsburgh is a pretty good team. Sorry, Bees.  Pitt wins


Werewolves of Raliegh vs Demonic Deacons:  Ugh, the second ACC game in the blog. I guess N.C. State wins.


The Yutes of Utes vs Worshington:  Utah is one of those teams everybody says is good, but nobody  watches them because their games come on at 11:00 eastern standard time. Washington is meh. Utah wins


Kennesaw State vs Monmouth:  My Beloved Owls welcome Monmouth University to the Fifth of a Quarter State Mutual And A Third Stadium (Original name: Down The Street From Town Center Mall Stadium)  Monmouth has a 6-2 record.  It should be the Owls' biggest test. They'll pass.  KSU wins.

This Week's Picks Week 9

Is the first time in the history of This Week's Picks that both Georgia and Georgia Tech are off on the same Saturday?

Which is a good thing because they both had a good Saturday last week.

For one thing, Georgia Tech won their game! Yay, bees, yay!  See we told you that you would eventually win another game this year. Okay, maybe it was more of a Christmas present from Coral Gables but a win is a win. Tech has absolutely the biggest punter I have ever seen in college football and the kid through a touchdown pass on a fake punt.  I'm telling you, the future is so bright that you got to wear shades, you ramblin' slide rules!

Georgia had a home game following the cluster (fill in the blank) loss against the Chickens. Georgia played Kentucky in a game that was truly a mess. It was raining. The Georgia defense shut down Kentucky's twelve-string quarter, but the Georgia offense was going nowhere.

Someone in the Georgia brain trust (no, that is not an oxymoron) had this brilliant idea: give the ball to D'Andre Swift. That's always a good idea.

Georgia finally broke away and defeated Kentucky.  You would not believe how important that was. Georgia now can take a week off to prepare to play Florida at The World Largest Reason For DUI Laws.  They need it.

This Week's Picks!



Wescohnson vs The Ahia State:  Two weeks ago this would have been the GAME OF THE MONTH. But, Wisconsin (the UGA of The Big Ten) did their annual face plant, this time against Illinois. The head coach of Illinois is Lovie (Dovie Is Not My Middle Name) Smith.  Smith used to be the head coach of the Chicago Bears. He's let his beard grow out like he's a long lost Robertson of "Duck Dynasty". It was the biggest win Illinois football history.  Wisconsin has a good team and they should be Ohio State's first real test. Nobody in the Big Ten is going to beat Ohio State. (That sound you hear is everybody in Las Vegas changing their bets from Ohio State to Wisconsin. I don't care)  Ohio State wins


War Tigers vs Ellesyou: Now this is THE GAME OF THE MONTH.  Say, do you know what "Auburn" stands for?  "Alabama usually beats us red necks".  Needlessly to say, Auburn is the red-headed step-child in Alabama. They are a good team. Howevah, (as we Southerners say) LSU might just be as good as Alabama this year.  It would be easy just to say "Tigers win" and leave it at that. But I won't.  LSU wins.


Lions of Nittany vs Sparty.  It looks like Penn State is back to their winning ways when St Joe The Enabler was the head coach. Michigan State is Michigan State.  Penn State is just a better team. Penn State wins.


Our Lady vs Meeshegan. You know how I know Notre Dame is going to win this game? Jim Harbaugh is still the head coach of Michigan. They never beat a Top Ten ranked team. This will be no exception. Notre Dame wins


Jawjer Suthern vs New Mescan State:  In what has to be a first in the history of college football, all of the members of the Georgia Southern Eagles were penalized for .....dancing. It fits right in the the Georgia Southern branding campaign. "Georgia Southern: We may not ever win the FBS Championship But We Know How To Shake Our Groove Thing". New Mexico State hasn't won a game all year. Georgia Southern wins.


Kennesaw State vs North Alabama:  My Beloved Owls just keep marching on. They'll beat North Alabama.  Kennesaw State wins.

Shut Up

Recently, the retired great radio man Don Imus posted the following tweet, which I have censored because I want to get into heaven.

"SHUT THE (Blank) UP 

 Joe Biden

LeBron James  

Every (blank) on CNN

Blubber (blank)  (This is what the I-man calls President Trump)

The two (blanks) in the Sonic Burger spots

The perv with the goatee on the golf channel

Donald Trump, Jr. 

Hillary Clinton holy (blank) the world is begging you, SHUT the (blank) UP GIRL!

Rudy" 

Even with the crassness and vulgarity of it, I agree with this tweet.

Joe Biden.  Look does anyone really knows what Joe Biden is talking about?  When he's not glorifying in his personal Quid Pro Quo, he's talking about "Corn Pop" and how he (Corn Pop, not Joe Biden) was a "Bad Dude".  He's too old to be the President of the Chamber of Commerce, much less of the United States.

LeBron James.  The greatest basketball player in history got his feelings hurt when an Ivy Leaguer told him to "Shut up and dribble". So he read a book. Maybe.  Just being the greatest basketball player in history wasn't enough for LBJ.  No, he had to be a SPOKESMAN for JUSTICE.  Except when it came to China.  Then he was all, hey, everybody, stay in your lane. Meanwhile, live people are having their organs harvested in China.

Every  (blank) on CNN.  Lord, what has happened to this network? If it wasn't for airports, would it still be on the air?

Blubber (blank).  How many times have you heard someone say, "I wish President Trump would stay off of Twitter"  or "I wish President Trump wouldn't talk so much"?  It would probably be in the millions.  For every time he says something that makes sense, he'll say ten things which are totally whacked.  Please, Mr. President. Less is more.

The two (blanks) in the Sonic Burger spots.  I sort of disagree with The I-man on this one.  In case you don't know, Sonic is a drive-in and their commercials feature two guys. One sensible, the other mildly mentally challenged.  Some of the commercials are funny, but it is weird that two guys go to a Sonic without their wives or girl friends and then talk about what they just ate.

The perv with the goatee on the Golf  Channel.   I don't watch The Golf Channel but if Imus says the man with the goatee is a perv, I believe him.

Donald Trump, Jr.   Talk about the apple not falling far from the tree. This guy is every '80's movie jerk cliche rolled into one person. He's been dating Kimberly Guilfoyle for a couple of years now, so he shouldn't have any complaints.

Hillary Clinton.  This is a no brainer. I've always thought Mrs. Clinton was one of the most overrated people of my lifetime.  She's never had an original thought except let's marry this hick and ride his coat-tails despite his horn-dog ways.  Everything is always somebody else's fault.  On top of this, she lies like a rug.  Her latest is this dust-up with Tulsi Gabbard. Clinton said Gabbard is a being used by the Russians. Clinton didn't even offer up a dossier like she had somebody write up about Trump. No, our gal Hillary just blurts out an assertion because, hey, she's Hillary Clinton and that's what she does.

Rudy.  How the mighty has fallen.  Rudy Giuliani cleaned up New York City and was the brave mayor during 9/11.  Now, he's just another attorney.

Here's a couple more I want to add to The I-man's list.

Elizabeth Warren. The 2020 election cycle hasn't even kicked it into second gear and I'm already tired of her.  She's a big phony. Sure, she thinks taxing "wealth" is a great idea.  You will be surprised how many people a Warren administration will consider wealthy.

Bernie Sanders.  Look, it was kind of funny when it seemed like he was really Larry David.  Now he is just some old man complaining about his soup.

Alexandria Ocasio- Cortez.  Here's the truth. You are cute but nobody is impressed that you have read a book (see James, LeBron).

This Week's Picks Week 8

I did something last week I thought I would never do.

I went to a homecoming football game at my alma mater.

In case you are new, I am a graduate of Kennesaw College, class of 1983.  I majored in history and minored in political science.

Kennesaw College was a small commuter school when I was there. It was everybody's last chance, I guess.  I can't tell you how many people I knew that started someplace else and ended up at Kennesaw.

One time, while going to class, I heard a guy say, "I flunked out of Clemson so I came here to get my grades up and now I'm flunking here."

Before it was Kennesaw College, it was Kennesaw Junior College.  My class was the fourth graduating class as a senior college. Still, you would be surprised how people would argue with me over my degree. Once when I said I had a BA from Kennesaw, someone said I was lying because it was a junior college. They were not kidding. I offered to bring my diploma in because I wasn't kidding either.


As time went on, Kennesaw College grew. It became Kennesaw State College and started offering MBA and EMBA degrees. One day, Kennesaw State College became Kennesaw State University and now it is the third-largest university in the state, behind only the University of Georgia and Georgia State University.

Now Kennesaw State has a football team. They are pretty good. They play in the Big South Conference in the FCS (Football Championship Subdivision). They have won the Big South twice.

I saw the homecoming parade.  I met the President of Kennesaw State, the athletic director, the cheerleaders, members of the ladies' basketball team, and the students who paint their bodies in gold in the student section.  I had a wonderful time.

On top of all that, unlike several other teams in the state of Georiga, Kennesaw State won.

I would like to thank Caric Martin, who knows everybody on the face of the earth, for hooking me up with this great deal.

This Week's Picks.

Jawjer vs Kenyucky:  If there is any team that had it worse last week than the Atlanta Braves last week, it was the Georgia Bulldogs. It is bad any time the Bulldogs lose to the Chickens and it was bad last week. Oh well, Georgia usually Georgia's it up at least once during the season. Now, they can't make another mistake. They can still win the East. But first, they have to beat Kentucky. They better, or you're going to hear more of the "Kirby's not so Smart.  UGA wins.

 

Buzzed vs Myamme:  Lost in all the mess last week (Braves, Dawgs, and Falcons) was the fact that Georgia Tech got killed again last week. This week doesn't look any better. This is not the Miami team of old. They are just another football team that will beat Tech.  Miami wins.


Clem's son vs Lousyville:  I know I'm supposed to be open mind, but I really wish the Clemson quarterback, Trevor Lawrence, would get a haircut.  Clemson had a close shave (get it?!) against North Carolina. However, they crushed Florida State 6,000,000 to nothing (or thereabouts).  Clemson will be in the playoff if the Manis Jinx doesn't get them.  Clemson wins.


Ellessyou vs Other Bulldogs: As they say in the Red Stick (Baton Rouge):  "Les tigers sont bein reels cette anne et les bouldogues benissent leur couer."  (Translation:  Something about the Tigers being really good and the Mississippi Bulldogs are not and let's go get drunk and get into a fight and sing about papa)    LSU wins

Beloved Owls vs The Chosen Frozen:  Kennesaw State travels to Clinton, South Carolina to play Presbyterian College, which oddly enough is affiliated with the Presbyterian Church.  I'm not sure which Presbyterian Church they are associated with because they are millions of Presbyterian denominations there. There's Presbyterian Church (USA), Presbyterian Church of America (PCA), Presbyterian Church of The Golf Course (PCGC), et.al.  They all are of the "Reformed" tradition, which means they can buy beer.  Anyway, PC is having a pretty bad year. In fact, they haven't won a game all year.  It is predestined:  Kennesaw wins.

This Week's Picks Week 7

One of the new stars on the national sports talk show scene is Clay Travis of Outkick The Coverage.

Not only is Outkick a radio show that broadcasts on Fox Sports Radio Network, but it is also a website. Travis lives in Nashville, Tennessee. One of his sons is a big Atlanta Braves fan. This is what Clay wrote last week regarding the Braves first loss in the National League Division Series.


I root for the Braves now because I want my nine-year-old son to be happy.

And last night he wasn’t happy.

I had to sit him down and give up talk about the third b (thankfully we aren’t at the birds and the bees yet, but we are, unfortunately, at the Braves.)

So I told him the Braves haven’t won a playoff series since 2001 and that they’ve lost the opening game of a playoff series nine straight times

And he just looked up at me — with his Ozzie Albie chain hanging around his neck — and said, “But dad, why can’t they just play like they do in the regular season in the playoffs?”

And I said: “Son, Braves fans have been asking that question since way before you were born. No one knows.”

And he was just crushed.

It was a really tough conversation to have.

I hate that I had to share the real sports world of an Atlanta Braves baseball fan with him.

All I would say is this: welcome to the club, kid. Welcome to the club.




This Week's Picks



Dawgs vs Chickens: When it comes to Georgia, I come from the Vince Dooley School Of Worry. That is, I never quite buy all of the hype that is thrown around in college football.  I believe all the schools have good players and they are on scholarship too.  I was really worried last week when the freshman Tennessee quarterback with the prison tattoos threw that touchdown.  South Carolina isn't Tennessee, but I don't think they have the depth either to run with the Dawgs.  The Dawgs win.

Buzzed vs Dook:  Have you ever heard the phrase, "I knew it would be bad, but I didn't know it would be this bad"?  Well, that describes this season for Tech. They knew there would be some adjustment learning another "system", they just didn't know it would mean their season would be a bus fire inside of a garbage fire in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse.  Meanwhile, Duke is 3-2 and was competitive with Alabama for a series of downs.  Duke wins.



Raw Tad vs The Twelfth Dude: Do you know why Aggie farmers can't raise chickens? Because they plant the eggs too deep.   How many Texas A&M freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?  None. It is a second-year course.  How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?  Three. One to eat it and two watch the road.  See, that is one of the few problems living this far from Texas, you never hear the great Aggie jokes. Wait, oh yeah, the game.  Bama wins

Ellesyou vs Lizards:  You know, I''m still puzzled about how Kyle Trask could play for the Gators, much less start since he never started a game in high school. He seems like he's pretty good. Florida looks like they are back. However, they are playing LSU, and LSU is crazy good. LSU wins.

Kennesaw State vs Charleston Southern.  I'll be in attendence at my first homecoming game at Kennesaw State and I'll be rooting for my beloved Owls.  I know nothing about Charleston Southern except that they will be the latest victim.  Kennesaw State wins.

Friday Night Mustangs

This is how old I am. I am, "my son went to his ten-year high school class reunion" old.

My son graduated in 2009.  Twitter was only a year old.

He used to post a lot on something called Facebook.  It would clog up our e-mail because back then, Facebook used to notify your e-mail address every time you posted or someone responded to you.

Previously, he had been on something called Myspace.

Myspace was a big deal, at least for a little while. But it was like The Blackberry before The iPhone came out. Something bigger and better came along and Myspace was history.

Sort of.  The tech magazine Livewire says that Myspace is still chugging along and (as of 2016) they still get 15 million monthly active visitors. It is the quietest 15 million active anything around because I never hear anyone mention Myspace at all.

People with good memories will remember that my son was on the football team. The Kennesaw Mountain Mustangs.  He was number 38 and was a running back. He gained during his high school football career six yards. He did it in one game. I still have a copy of the Marietta Daily Journal which lists his name in the statistics of the game. 

The Head Coach of the Mustangs at that time was Scott Jones. Scott built the team from the ground up. Kennesaw Mountain was a "new" school at the time. That is, the county built it and said, here go get yourself a football team.

So Scott had to go out and raise money because the county didn't buy anything for the sports teams. They didn't even have a rake.

Scott was really good at raising money.  The football team had to sell "coupons" for local restaurants.  You know, here's a coupon for a free coke with your burger type of stuff. Somehow, and I don't know how he got a wings coupon from the local Hooters one year. I took the coupons to work to sell. They sold out.

The problem was The Mustangs just had an okay record and never made the playoffs The high school down the street, Harrison, had a great record and made the playoffs

I'm not sure why Harrison was so good and we were not. It was just one of those things. Harrison had been around maybe ten years longer, so I guess they were more established.

What added to the problem was Kennesaw Mountain had a very successful marching band.

I know a little bit about marching bands because I lived across the street from Wheeler High School for ten years. Back in the sixties, the Wheeler Marching Band basically played "Hey There Georgie Girl" every fall.

By the time the seventies came, the Wheeler Marching Band had moved up to "MacArthur Park".  My sister in law, who was on the flag corps, said that once during practice for the Friday Night Half Time, the band director became irritated with the band.  He said,  "People, people. The cake is melting in the rain!"

By the time my son went to high school, the high school marching bands went from playing the day's hit songs to performance art.

Their first year, Kennesaw Mountain performed "Oh, The Places You Will Go!" at halftime. It was based on the Dr. Suess book everyone reads at graduations. I remember they had one student prancing around like the main character in the Dr. Suess book. I remember thinking I'm glad that wasn't my kid.

By the time my son's class made it to Friday nights, the band was playing selections from "Wicked".  I seem to remember the band winning a lot of awards and tournaments.  I also remember the band parents leaving after halftime.

The Mustangs were not bad. They had a fairly competitive team. Sure, they lost some games they probably should have/could have won. But every high school does that.

After my son graduated, Scott coached for a couple of more seasons. Then, one day, he was sacked. He ended up at North Paulding High School. He had some pretty good seasons over there..  He retired from teaching in 2017.

Considering my son was the twelfth-string running back, Scott treated my son well and he was always very nice to us. I really couldn't ask for anything more.

I still keep up with the Mustangs. They are having a tough year. They haven't won a game.

I looked up the records. The Mustangs have had only two winning seasons in their history. 2007 and 2008.  My son's junior and senior seasons.

This Week's Picks Week 6

This is a true statement.  You cannot be a fan of any Atlanta professional sports franchises without knowing that they will tear your heart out. Every single franchise. The names on the uniforms change, but it is still the same result.

It is 28-3 in the Super Bowl late in the third quarter. The Atlanta Falcons are the 28. The Falcons lose the game.

Up 2 games on the New York Yankees in 1996. The flame-throwing reliever throws a slider (that didn't slide) to the 2nd string Yankees catcher. The Braves didn't win another game that year.

It is always something. The ump missing a call. Lonnie Smith getting deked. A cornerback gets arrested on the night before the Super Bowl.

Yes, the Braves won the World Series in 1995. But on that last out, which was a deep high fly caught by Marquis Grissom, I half-way expected it to go out.

Just turned off the latest. The Braves in the Divisional Series. The Braves won the Eastern Division easily this year. The Cardinals barely won theirs. Atlanta was rocking this afternoon. What happens? The bullpen, which was always an adventure this year, was awful. That's putting it kindly.

Oh well, there's another game tomorrow. Maybe there will be another Infield Fly Rule enforced, except this time, it will be on the warning track.


This Week's Picks.

Doggies vs Rocky Topped:  Both teams had a bye week last week. I'm not sure Georgia needed a week to get ready for Tennessee. Tennessee, bless their hearts, would love to beat Georgia. I would love to win the lottery. I mean, there's a chance, right? It is highly unlikely that this Tennessee team (bless their hearts)  will beat this Georgia team.  UGA wins.

Wrecked vs Heels of Tar:  The good news for Tennessee, bless their hearts, is that Georgia Tech is having even a worse year. This is how bad it is for Tech. I picked Temple last week. It was part of my sneaky plan to infect Temple with the dreaded "Manis Curse". It didn't work. Even Tech's opponents are immune to the "Manis Curse". Attention Bees: I've done all I can do. You are on your own.  North Carolina almost beat Clemson last week.  North Carolina wins. 

The War Tigers vs Reptiles:  Both Auburn and Florida are better than I thought they would be. I can't believe how well the freshman Auburn quarterback is playing. I just think, right now, and this moment, as it stands, Auburn is the better team.  Auburn wins.

Ahia State vs Sparty:  Ohio State quarterback, Justin Fields went to Harrison High School, which was my son's high school's main nemesis. I've heard a lot about Justin over the years. But, to be honest, you never really know how well someone is going to play in college. Well, let me tell you, Fields is really, really good. Really.  If Ohio State keeps playing like they've been playing, they'll be in the playoff hunt in December, no question. If Fields keeps playing like he's been playing, he'll get invited to New York. But first, they have to get by teams like Michigan State. I just don't think they can stop Ohio State.  Ohio State wins

Other Aggies vs Ellesyew: Now, this is a tough one for me.  As you know, my high school chum, Paul, sent me a Utah State t-shirt for free, simply because I begged for one. I have another friend, Terry, who is a huge LSU fan. He thinks Joe Burrow is the best thing since jambalaya.  Burrow is good and LSU is a good team. But Terry has never sent me a t-shirt. No matter, as Coach Lee Curso would say, but this is business. LSU wins.

An Impeachment Primer

This is your lucky day!

I bet with all of the impeachment of President "Donald" J. Trump talk, you said to yourself, "I don't know what exactly impeachment is and if there have been other Presidents that have been impeached. Is there someone who can help me?" 

Like I said, this is your lucky day because I was a history major and political science minor in college.  I can tell you all you need to know about Presidential impeachment. For your added benefit, I will be fact-checked by The National Association of History Majors.


What is impeachment?  Impeachment is a political process in which a President can be removed from office for "high crimes and misdemeanors".

What are "high crimes and misdemeanors"?  It doesn't have a precise meaning. To regular people (voters) is means committing a felony (robbing a bank) or misdemeanor (petty theft).  To political activists on Twitter, it means any action of a President you don't like.

Huh?  President Gerald "R" Ford once said  "An impeachable offense is whatever a majority of the House of Representatives considers to be at a given moment. Wait. Is that a hole? Whoaaaaaaaaaaa."  (Note:  The National Association of History Majors advises that the last part of this quote is an ill-advised attempt at humor and will write Mr. Manis a strongly worded e-mail.)

Where does impeachment start?  It starts in the House of Representatives, or as it is known in our nation's capital, "Not The Brightest Collections of Former Bartenders Around".  From there it goes to the Senate where the President goes on "trial" and can be removed from office by a two-thirds vote of the Senate.  However, and this is important, a President can be "impeached" and not removed from office.

Have Other Presidents Been Impeached?  Yes, two Presidents have been impeached.

Andrew Johnson.

Andrew Johnson was one of Abraham Lincoln's not well thought out ideas.  He was a Democrat from Tennessee. Lincoln thought it would be neat to a have a Southerner on the ticket even though Johnson wrote a book about the environment and said the "earth has a temperature" like he was some high school librarian.  (Note:  The National Association of History Majors advises that Mr. Manis has confused Andrew Johnson with another Vice President from Tennessee, Albert  "Al" Gore.)  Lincoln, as you may remember, was assassinated and Johnson became President.  Johnson was basically an uncouth goob and he was impeached for that reason.  Technically, Johnson was impeached for firing Secretary of War Edwin Staton and this violated the "You Can't Fire Edwin Staton Act".  Johnson was almost "convicted"  or removed from office by the Senate.  But, the Senate finally concluded, "We know this is 1868 and all, but man this is a boring reason to remove somebody from office. We'll let him go with a good talking to and put a note in his file in human resources."  (The National Association of History Majors: "Sigh") 

William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton

Now, this is the President with the Vice President that had a book about the environment! (The National Associate of History Majors: "Yay. Something accurate!")  President Bill's trouble began when an "independent prosecutor" began investigating a sneaky land purchase in President Bill's home state of Arkansas and ended with President Bill's getting in trouble for lying about dropping his trousers in front of an Arkansas state employee and doing something gross with a cigar to a White House intern. There was also something about a blue dress.  We learned way too much information about President Bill.  The House of Representatives impeached President Bill but the Senate, like with President Johnson, failed to convict him.  Historians have concluded that it was a mistake to impeach President Bill, mainly because it made his battle-axe wife, Hillary, a sympathetic character, which historians say was nearly impossible to do.


What about Nixon?  In 1972, Richard Nixon was cruising to a landslide re-election against the hapless George McGovern when he decided to do the most Nixon thing possible. He ordered a break-in to The Democratic National Headquarters at the Watergate Hotel to obtain information that would hurt McGovern's chances, even though McGovern had as much of a chance of becoming President as I have becoming People Magazine's "Sexiest Man of The Year".  (The National Association of History Majors: "Amen").  Then in true Nixon fashion, he lied about it for two years. Unlike President Bill, there was no sex involved, so it was kind of boring.  There were tapes and hearings. Somewhere along the line Nixon's Vice President Spiro Agnew (yes, that was his name) had to resign from his office for something totally unrelated to Watergate (the name of the scandal, not the hotel) and Gerald R Ford (see above) became Vice President.  Long story short: when it became apparent that Nixon would be convicted in the Senate he resigned before The House could vote on impeachment. This led to  Ford becoming  President on my 15th birthday.

Will Trump Be Impeached? Probably. The Democrats really want to impeach him. He is their great orange whale.  I seriously doubt if he will be removed from office.

But hey, I'm a history major. What do I know?

This Week's Picks 5

I've got some great news for all of the University of Tennessee fans.  Tennessee will not lose this Saturday.  It is a lock.  You can take it to the bank.

Of course, it is their Bye Week.

When my son, Ben Manis The Great Number 38 was the twelfth string running back for the Kennesaw Mountain High School Mustangs, I looked forward to the bye week. Mainly because Kennesaw Mountain was known as a "band school".  The marching band always won all of these marching band awards and the football team was just number one in our hearts.

The Bye Week meant none of the hustle and bustle of a game night. You could come in, eat supper, and watch a movie.

So, Tennessee fans, just take this Saturday off. Relax. The Volunteers are just having one of those seasons. Y'all will be back. One of these days. Maybe. Perhaps. Hopefully.  Probably not, but you never know. Oh, who am I kidding? All hope is lost. You might has well throw your orange spirit wear in a pile and set it on fire.

This Week's Picks!



Bees vs The Other Owls:  When we last left our buzzy bees, they had just lost a heartbreaking game to The Citadel, which the last time I checked, was in the Southern Conference in the FCS. Hey, it can happen to anybody.  Temple, incidentally, is the alma mater of Bill Cosby. Cosby played for Temple and he had a great bit about playing Hofstra. Tech's new head coach Geoff Collins was Temple's head coach last year.  He's probably the only person who has ever wished he was back in Philadelphia.  Temple wins.

Meechigan vs The University of New Jersey But We Call It Rutgers:  Quick! Name a team that should be playing a whole lot better. Of course, it is Michigan.  I'm not sure what is wrong with Michigan, but it may be two words that rhyme with Him Jarbaugh.  Rutgers win.

Raw Tad vs Ole Mess:  I haven't been keeping up with Alabama that much except to notice they are killing people.  The big news is that Coach Satan Saban has criticized the students for leaving the games when Bama is up by 14 billion points.  I didn't think Satan Saban noticed other non-football playing carbon-based life forms. Meanwhile, Ole Mess was robbed last week by a group of refs that even Kamala Harris would deem as retarded. Bless their hearts, Ole Miss just can't have nice things. Bama wins

SoCal vs Wooshington:  In case you don't remember, Washington quarterback Jacob Eason used to be the starting quarterback at Georgia The Huskies are 3-1 but they really haven't played anybody. Meanwhile, the Trojans are 3-1 also, but they beat Utah last week and the Utes (really, that's their team name) are supposed to be pretty good. This would be a big win for Washington if they could get it. They won't.  USC wins.

Kennesaw State vs Reinhardt:  My Beloved Owls take on The Reinhardt University Eagles.  Reinhardt is just up the street from Kennesaw State in Waleska, Georgia. Where is Waleska?  Go to Canton, Georgia and take a left. Reinhardt, like Kennesaw, used to be a junior college and it has grown up to be a university. They are a fairly competitive NAIA football team.  Owls win

What's So Funny?

For the past couple of month, I have been watching old "Rowan And Martin's Laugh-In" episodes on my Amazon Prime account.

Quick history:  "Laugh-In" aired as a "special" on NBC in the fall of 1967.  NBC added it as a mid-season replacement to air on Monday nights at 8:00 to go up against "Gunsmoke" in January of 1968.

"Laugh-In" quickly became a hit. It spawned such catchphrases as "Here Comes The Judge" and "Sock  It To Me".

Let me tell you, watching these shows, some 50 years later, can be difficult. Some of the jokes weren't that funny in 1968 much less 2019.

But I have found myself laughing out loud at some bits. The 1968 fall season opened with Arte Johnson's German soldier character standing next to Bob Hope. Johnson says, in a thick German accent, "I waited for you every Christmas".  You can't tell if Bob Hope is just being the greatest straight man on earth or if he had no idea what was going on

Henry Gibson had a character that was a priest who would sip tea at the weekly cocktail party. The cocktail party was where "Laugh-In" would trot out their fair to middling jokes, but it also gave a look into the culture of 1968, much like a Johnny Carson monologue would do.

Gibson's priest said, in a high moralistic tone, "I'm all for the modernization of the Church, but I refuse to call the sacramental wine the Bible Belt".

Maybe those two examples aren't knee slappers, but it wasn't bad and they made me laugh some fifty years later.

However, I'm sure that there is somebody, somewhere, ready to file an article about how "problematic" it is to watch "Laugh-In" all these years later.

Judy Carne (fun fact: she was Mrs. Burt Reynolds for a while) was the "Sock It To Me Girl".  She would say, "It's sock it to me time" and a big boxing glove would punch her in the face or a mallet would hit her over the head or she'd fall through a trap door or water would be thrown on her.  We would have vapors of this type of comedy today.

Ruth Buzzi's big character was "Gladys", who was a homely looking spinster always fighting advances from Tyrone, Arte Johnson's dirty old man.  Tyrone once asked her, "Do you believe in the hereafter?"   Gladys replied, "I most certainly do".  Tyrone said, "Good, now you know what I'm here after."   I'm sure somebody will point out the "body shaming" and the sexual harassment of these bits.

This is the 25th Anniversary of the TV show "Friends".  Apparently, there is a new cottage industry explaining how "problematic" the TV show was, besides the obvious fact that a guy like Ross would never in a billion years hook up with a girl like Rachel.

My favorite one is from Buzzfeed titled "Actually, 'Friends' Is Terrible"  and it is by a young lady that is my son's age.  Here it is for your consideration.  Spoiler alert:  a lot of it has to do with Monica's fat suit.  https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/scaachikoul/friends-anniversary-bad 

I'm all in favor of being contrarian when it comes to situation comedies. I was never a fan of "Happy Days"  and that was long before Fonzie jumped the shark. But, even though "Happy Days" was about the '50s and Ralph and Potsie wore '70s  haircuts, I've never seen an article that says ACKCHYUALLY HAPPY DAYS WAS HORRIBLE.

It seems we have lost our sense of humor.

I don't know exactly when this happened. It seems we have now an expiration code when it comes to comedians. I remember when Tim Allen first came out.  Man, this guy grunts. Crazy! Now we find out that he is sort of a Republican and that makes him icky.

Bill Maher is a later day Lenny Bruce. Except when he calls out the "Squad" for their anti-semitism or when he fat shames.

We can't quote Woody Allen anymore, without at least acknowledging his issues. Lord knows you can't quote Bill Cosby.

Now even Dave Chappelle (DAVE CHAPPELLE) is problematic.

This is the only test I have for comedy: does it make me laugh?  If it doesn't, I don't watch it or listen to it.  In other words, I'm not looking for humor to "shed light" on any subject. I'm just looking for some laughs.

I don't see what is so hard about that.

We can no longer take a joke. As another "Laugh-In" character used to say, "And that's the truth."

 

This Week's Picks: The One With The Snarky Tennessee Memes

I don't care what anyone says, the United States of America is number one when it comes to creating memes about college football teams. Like this one about the University of Tennessee.

And this one, about the University of Tennessee

This one is my favorite.

Just to show you I'm fair.

This Week's Picks!




Pups vs Wolves That Are Red:  UGA has another breather before the Irish Men With Anger Issues come into town. For the record, Arkansas State is in the Sun Belt Conference, which means they are a little bit better than an FCS. Also for the record, a Sun Belt Conference team beat Tennessee, so anything can happen. It won't.  UGA wins.

Bees vs The Lords of Discipline:  What do you know? The Bees overcame "The Manis Jinx" and beat South Florida. They'll do it again this Saturday against The Citadel. Just like Georiga, Tech's schedule will become harder after this game so they ought to enjoy it while they can.   Tech wins


Row Tads vs The Illegal Game Birds:  Every year, around this time, one of my Facebook friends posts a picture of a topless Bama gal that has the Bama elephant painted on her chest. Let me tell you, that elephant has some mighty big ears. That doesn't have anything to do with the game but it makes me smile because it shows how fanatical some of the Bama fans are. I mean, the lady is a wee bit too old to be painting her chest and walking around in public. On top of that, she is at best a "five" with beer/gin/scotch goggles on, but I'm sure her husband and mama love her.  Anyway, her elephant has some big ears. Where was I?  Oh yeah, the game.  Bama is Bama and South Carolina is South Carolina.  Bama wins
 
Barely Tennessee vs. Rocky Topped.  My wife and I like to go to Chattanooga every now and then. It holds special memories for us. I won't go into it here, except to say my son's middle name is Nooga. Anyway, things are rough at Old Rocky Top. Bless their hearts. Oh yeah, enjoy one last snarky Tennessee meme.   Tennessee wins.

Kennesaw State vs Alabama State.  Even though I (somehow) graduated from Kennesaw State (it was Kennesaw College back then), I try to be objective when it comes to making my picks. It is my name on the marquee, after all. Even with that, I thought if there was any FBS school the Owls could beat, Kent State would be it. But, no, my Beloved Owls lost. All is not lost. Kennesaw State University President Whitten gave me a thumbs up on Facebook and said I was "an Owl in high standing" for my pick.  The Owls will get back on track.  Owls win. 

Climate Change, Meat, and Paper Straws

Science was not my best subject in school, so I am uniquely unqualified to render an opinion on "Climate Change" or  "Climate Crisis" or "Global Warming", or whatever they are calling it nowdays.

So you know I wasn't going to watch 7 hours of the CNN Town Hall with the rapidly depleting numbers of Democratic candidates for President.

 I'd rather have a 7-hour root canal without anesthesia than watch it.

You don't have to be Nostradamus to know ahead of time what the Democrats would say.

1) Climate Change  is real.

2) Let us explain why Climate Change is real:  shut up.

3) It is all Trump's fault

4) Ha, Ha, look at him using a sharpie to draw on a map

5) Give us all your money if you want to live.

6) We are all going to die. Right now.


In case you didn't know, there is something called The Green New Deal, which is the creation of someone I think was probably my equal in Science knowledge, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I'm sure the most she has used her science background before The Green New Deal was making a killer Moscow Mule.

But apparently, The Green New Deal is sacrosanct.  It promises to ban:  fossil fuels, 99 per-cent of cars, 99 per-cent of planes, meat, and cow farts. "Moderate" Former Vice President Biden has said The Green New Deal does not "go too far", although he may have thought it was a new menu item at Applebee's.

According to news accounts of the "town hall", not one candidate criticized The Green New Deal. Let that sink in. Democrats have rightly gone bonkers when President Trump goes to Wacky City.  But they don't even blink when a proposed plan wants to ban fossil fuels, which would be a major restructing of American life to say the very least. That to me is weird.

This is the group of people that want to replace President Trump. But what do they want to do? They want to get rid of "fracking".  Kamala Harris, who will be on the ticket if Grandpa Joe wins the nomination, says she "absolutely" wants to get rid of fracking because "We have to just acknowledge that the residual impact of fracking is enormous in terms of the impact of the health and safety of communities."  Note the term: "We have to". (Just for fun, count how many times she uses this phrase.)

However, our grand and glorious protectors of our nation's trust (CNN) did not ask two simple questions. One, what evidence do you have that fracking impacts the health and safety of our communities enormously?  Two, why do we "have to"?  Can't we have one of these marvelous discussions the left always want to engage in before we get rid of something that arguable has helped the United States to no longer be dependent on The Middle East for our energy?

Harris was also asked at the Town Hall about supporting dietary guidelines to decrease the consumption of red meat.  I'm still not clear what "red meat" has to do with climate change except maybe cow poots, but hey, the progressives are on a roll.

Harris said, "The balance that we have to strike here, frankly, is about what government can and should do around creating incentives and then banning certain behaviors."  We already have a balance. The government inspects the meat and makes sure it is fit to eat. Then the government prints a "pyramid" which shows you the proper diet. Up until 2019, the government thought you could make your own decisions about what you order off of a menu.

What does she mean by "creating incentives" and "banning certain behaviors"?  I don't know, but I would bet it means you would no longer be able get one of those monster hamburgers that have double cheese, triple smoked applewood bacon, and an egg on it.

She continued: "I mean, just to be perfectly honest with you, I love cheeseburgers from time to time. Right? I mean, I just do. But there has to be also what we do in terms of creating incentives of what we will eat in a healthy way, that we will encourage moderation, and that we will be educated about the effect of our eating habits on our environment. And we have to do a much better job of that. And the government has to do a much better job of that."

While I appreciate her honesty by admitting she loves "cheeseburgers from time to time" in front of that group of nitwits at the townhall, she doesn't explain how our "eating habits" effects our enviroment. It appears our "eating habits" are just another aspect of life some people in government want to get their grubby hands on.

Here's a question to ponder. Was there any doubt in your mind that Senator Kamala Harris would be in favor of "banning" plastic straws?

Of course she does. Just like a Southern Baptist being against drinking alcohol, a Democrat has to be against plastic straws.  However, and expect this to become an issue in the upcoming Democratic primaries, Harris had the gall to admit, in public, that it is difficult to drink out of a paper straw.

I can vouch for that. My wife and I went to my favorite socialist ice cream shop, Ben and Jerry's on my birthday.  Ben and Jerry made me an incredible milkshake. But there was only one problem: they only had paper straws.

I came to one conclusion: paper straws suck.

The reason for this is that paper straws really don't suck like a plastic straw. But for the record, Senator Harris wants to encourage "innovation" on paper straws.

That's how far we've come in this country in sixty years.We've gone from a President promising to land man safely on the moon to a Presidential candidate promising to make paper straws suck.

Literally.