Sorry

I think I know when everything started to get weird:  the fall of 1976 at Wheeler High School.

A little background first.

At that point in time in the 70's, adults didn't particularly care what teenagers thought about, er, anything. They thought by the mere fact they had lived longer than teenagers had, they simply knew more about life. Incredible concept, isn't it?

Adults said what was on their minds and if you didn't like it, tough.

There was a member of the faculty of Wheeler,  Coach Diffley ( a social studies teacher, surprise, surprise) who definitely had "no filter" if you catch my drift.

Whatever he thought, he said. At least it seemed that way. I would hate to know what he thought and didn't say.

Of course, this made him one of the most popular teachers in the history of Wheeler.

I never had Coach Diffley for any classes. However, one time, he was an emergency substitute for my history teacher,  the fabulous Kitty Love of the grand state of Mississippi.  "Coach Dif-lay, Ah've gotta an aful tuthache. Yawl, Coach Dif-lay gonna be here. Don't be aful. They're aful, Coach, just aful". (Translation: "Coach Diffley, I had a terrible toothache and must go to the dentist. Students, Coach Diffley will teach the class today. Behave and Carpe Diem")

Since Kitty Love had to leave so quickly, there was nothing for Coach Diffley to do except hold court and tell us some stories.

One story sticks out. I will tell it verbatim, as God is my witness, with the proper footnotes highlighted.

He said, "When I was in college, I met this girl. She was from Japan. In fact, she had survived the bombing of Hiroshima when she was an infant." [Wow, we didn't know anybody survived the bombing of Hiroshima. The fact that our own Coach Diffley had met a survivor was impressive.]

He continued, "She was a fine, fine girl". [I'm sure she was, Coach]. "However, [Uh-oh, here it comes] the lingering radiation did weird things to her body.  In fact, her boobies were on her back instead of her front". [Really?!]

He finished, "Yeah, she wasn't much to look at but boy was she fun to slow dance with".  With that, he started to pretend he was slow dancing with a woman whose breasts were on her back.

I remember about 40 kids in convulsions laughing at Coach Diffley and his dancing partner. Nobody got upset or offended. I'm sure every student told their parents the same thing I told mine when asked if anything happened at school: nothing.

If that happened today, it would be on the evening news. It would also be a Twitter storm like you wouldn't believe.

"This educator finds humor in the malconformation of this young heroic survivor of imperalistic radiation then proceeds to grope and fondle her. How can this be funny? #hertoo #metoo #theytoo #wetoo #breastsonawomansbackisnotfunny

No, for some reason, we understood, without subtitles, Coach Diffley was joking. There is no girl, if there was, she wasn't from Japan and her parts were in the right places.


That happened in the spring of 1976. In the fall of 1976, there was a new school year and more importantly, a new football season. Even though we were a tony suburb of Atlanta, football was still the king. Therefore, we had a pep rally in the gym every Friday to "fire" up the boys on to victory.

Coach Diffley was the faculty sponsor of the riff-raft class of 1979. (Editorial disclosure: My wife was a member of this class).

Each class had to sit in a particular section of the gym. Seniors here. Juniors there. Sophomores over there. Freshman next to them.

The cheerleaders decided to have a "cheer-off" to see which class could cheer the loudest. The Class of 1980 vs The Class of 1979. The Class of 1978 vs The Class of 1977. The winners won candy tossed by our comely cheerleaders.

The Class of 1980 went first. Being freshman and new to the school, they wanted to make a good impression and they raised the roof.  The Class of 1979 was next. They were pitiful, really pathetic. They didn't stand up and holler for Wheeler.

After this rather dismal display of school spirit, Coach Diffley sprints out on to the gym floor, in front of God, Man, and administration, flipping off the Class of 1979 with an obscene gesture. [Footnote: Some historians disagree as to the type of gesture he  used, but the important ones  (me and Chris Moody) have concluded it was the one done with the arm and not the finger. However, all historians agree the Class of 1979 needed flipping off.]

Again, I don't remember anybody getting the vapors from seeing an educator running around flipping off an entire class.  I know nobody was surprised it was Coach Diffley

However, later in the day, there was an announcement from the principal.  He wanted to convey Coach Diffley's apology for his actions at the Pep Rally.  The principal said Coach Diffley didn't mean to "offend anyone" which is a hoot because the whole purpose of flipping somebody off is to offend them.

If that happened today, Coach Diffley would have been made to walk the front hall with people throwing mud at him yelling "Shame". But, it was just another day at school back then. I'm sorry that it has gone away and been replaced with people who are offended by everything and nothing at the same time.