Hot Talk

Do you know who John Piper is?

John Piper is a very influential Evangelical speaker. He was a former pastor of a Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota of all places and is, according to my son, "very deep".

John has a son: Barnabas Piper. Only a guy as deep as John Piper would have a son named Barnabas.

Barnabas is a writer and has a blog called "The Blazing Center".  I don't know if he is as deep as his dear old dad, but he seems like a nice guy and is always worth a read.

He wrote a post last year titled  "Stop Calling Your Wife Hot".  Kid Piper has a problem with men calling their wives "hot".  Or if they are really hip and with it: "hawt".

Piper says, "I saw a tweet from a friend recently that said, “If I hear one more Christian guy call his wife hot (every time he talks about her), I’m going to throw a plate at the wall.” I suggested that he actually throw the plate at the guy calling his wife hot, or “smokin’ hot” for that matter (tongue in cheek, of course). Maybe it would knock some sense and normalcy into them."

I thought I was pretty plugged in on the various controversies on Planet Evangelical.

For example, "The Worship Wars".  This refers to the total change in Sunday Morning Worship Services over the past 20 years.  The idea of wearing your "Sunday Best" to church as gone from wearing a suit and tie to wearing short pants that may/may not have a hole in them.

In fact, one of the ways you can determine if a church is an Evangelical Church is to look at their music ministry.  If there is a band with a bunch of electric guitars that sound like U2, you are in an Evangelical Church.

But this caught me off guard.

Piper says, "Fellas, calling your wife hot to other people is awkward. We can’t agree with you. That would be really weird."  I'm not sure why this is weird, unless, by agreeing that someone's wife is hot, it really means you want to play David and Bathsheeba.

Which is unfair. By acknowledging someone is hot, you're just agreeing that she's a good looking gal, not that you want to sleep with her, which you probably do, in the back of your mind at least. But that's why you go to church in the first place.

He continues, "We can’t disagree with you. That would be really mean".  I agree with that.

Guy One: "My wife is hot"
Guy Two:  "Dude, have you been to the eye doctor lately?"

Years ago, I knew this guy who looked like Don Draper, who is probably the most handsome fictional ad executive ever. ( This is a transcript of an actual conversation between me and my wife. Me: "I wish I looked like Don Draper". My Wife: "I wish you did too". )

This guy's wife sort of looked and acted like Minnie Pearl. I know you shouldn't judge, but I have no idea what he saw in her.  Maybe she had a great personality. She would need it.

One of my friends calls his wife a SWOG, which stands for Sexy Woman of God. Personally, I like "hot" better, but to each his own.

Piper ends his post "It is a great thing to honor your wife publicly. It’s good for people to know your devotion to her and how much you love her. It’s good for people to know you are attracted only to her and want only her. But keep the hotness talk inside the walls of your home. That’s between you and her. Tell her she is smokin’ hot all you want. But don’t tell the rest of us because it does no good for anyone."

There's a lot of truth in that. You don't have to go on and on about it, but honestly, it is not so much about "honoring" your wife as it is about bragging about your catch if you know what I mean.  But, really, most men outkick their coverage: they marry women who are way better looking than they deserve.

I know I did.