Chocolate In My Peanut Butter

 

 

Now that I am in the fourth quarter of life, I don't buy candy like I used to.

For one thing, it is too expensive. 

When I was coming along, candy bars were usually a quarter. Back then, everything was a quarter, including used cars and split-level houses. 

(Note to my Gen-Z readers: No, split-level houses did not cost a quarter, even in Marietta, Georgia, in 1971. I'm joking. ) 

According to our lords in Artificial Intelligence, a standard candy bar is $3.45.  That's pretty hefty in my mind, especially when I'm at the age at which I'm supposed to know my A1C. I'm not sure if a less-than-standard candy bar costs less.

We should recognize that although M&M's and Hershey Bars are great, the GOAT of all candy is the glorious Reese's Cups. 

Reese's Cup is chocolate with peanut butter.  They taste good "chilled" -placed in the refrigerator. I especially like to do this to the small cups they sell at Christmas time. 

However, there has been some trouble in the Reese's Cup world. 

According to the AP, "The grandson of the inventor of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups has lashed out at The Hershey Company, accusing the candy company of hurting the Reese’s brand by shifting to cheaper ingredients in many products. Brad Reese, 70, said in a Feb. 14 letter to Hershey’s corporate brand manager that for multiple Reese's products, the company replaced milk chocolate with compound coatings and peanut butter with peanut crème."

First of all, how cool would it be to know your grandfather invented the Reese's Cup?

Secondly, "compound coatings" sounds like the name of an '80s hair band.  "Please welcome to Alex Cooley's Ballroom...Compound Coatings!"

This is a big deal because when I was growing up, the Sterling-Cooper ad agency produced a series of commercials that featured a young man with a chocolate bar running into a young woman eating peanut butter straight out of a jar.

The young man says,  "Hey you got peanut butter on my chocolate bar." While the young woman says, "Hey, you got chocolate in my peanut butter." From there, they both tasted the heavenly combination, and a million pounds and pimples were conceived. 

James Lileks says this is a perfect example of "encrapification", which is "the process by which everything gets incrementally worse."

Lileks goes on to say, "Every food, every experience, every aspect of daily life and commerce, encrapified by bean counters, hedge funds, cost-cutters, and other MBA types who make something worse so the bottom line looks better, and they get a bonus that sets them up for life."

We geezers say this all the time.  We used to have good music; now we have bad music. We learned this from our parents, who claimed to have music instead of the "racket" we liked. 

The halftime show at the Super Bowl is another example. They used to have Michael Jackson and Prince. This year, they had Bad Bunny, who sells a lot of downloads and performed exclusively in Spanish because of something that has to do with President Orange, and everybody should just shut up because you know you like to go hear operas in German. 

Movies. Really. When was the last time you went to the movies without having to take out a home equity loan?  When was the last time you saw a movie that was really enjoyable?

TV shows? Most of them start good and finish terribly.  

Hershey responded to Mr. Reese: "The company said the classic Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup hasn’t changed and is still made with milk chocolate and freshly roasted peanut butter. The statement also acknowledged that as the brand has expanded into new shapes, sizes, and seasonal items, the company has made what it called “product recipe adjustments.”

I've noticed white chocolate Reese's Cups, heart-shaped Reese's, and Reese's cups shaped like the Easter Bunny. I guess there had to be some recipe adjustments.

But, for the love of all that is good and sacred, please do not change the taste of a Reese's cup. I don't know if I have a jar of peanut butter to walk around with while waiting for an errant chocolate bar.