Goodbye, Joe

 

 

Last week, I said, "As of today, right now, at this moment, it sounds like Biden, could possibly, maybe, perhaps stay in the race."  

Of course, the next day, Biden announced that he was withdrawing from the race in a letter posted on Twitter, now known as X (or on X, which used to be known as Twitter).  

I'd like to know if Dave Barry ever has days like this.

He didn't really explain why he was withdrawing. He couldn't say, "All my so-called friends don't think I can win. Listen, pal, I could win in a landslide if I wanted."  That would have been rude to Nancy, Chuck, and the Obamas.

Then he endorsed Vice President Harris, which spared us from the "mini-primary," that probably would have ended up nominating George Clooney.

Vice President Harris, who was known simply as Vice President Harris just a couple of weeks ago, has re-energized the Democratic Party's base, which is almost exclusively on X (or Twitter).

She is seen as a combination of John Kennedy, Barack Obama, and George Clooney.

Well, maybe.

Harris is having a honeymoon, no doubt brought on by relief that they no longer have to defend President MaGoo.

Her next big test is picking a running mate, which should be easy.

Harris has to pick Gov. Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania because she has to win Pennsylvania to win the election.

She might pick Senator Mark Kelly of Arizona, who is a former astronaut and the husband of Gabby Giffords, who survived a shooting.

He might bring Arizona, but I wonder if he can bring in Wisconsin, Michigan, or Pennsylvania to the fold. He might, but what do I know?  I couldn't see Biden withdrawing a month ahead of the Democratic Party convention. 

After hiding for a couple of days, Biden appeared before the nation to explain his withdrawal from the race.

Apparently, Biden was cruising to re-election when he realized he could just hand off to a new generation to defeat The Existential Threat To Democracy and let the new generation defeat The Existential Threat to Democracy.

Why didn't he think of that before?

He said he thought he deserved re-election, but gee, that new generation needs to have their turn at bat. So, out of the kindness of his heart, he withdrew and hoped everybody remembered what a swell President he was and forget about having to pay $7.00 for a family bag-sized of potato chips. 

There was nothing in his speech about his age or health. He was just the type of guy to give up the Presidency because it was the right thing to do, whatever it was.

Joe is going to focus his attention on his remaining months as President, trying to figure out a way to pardon his son, who, let's face it, is kind of sketchy.

He's going to go back to Delaware, eat ice cream, take a nap, and turn in around 9:00, so not much will charge.

The guy who has been on the national scene since I was in eighth grade at East Cobb Junior High is leaving the stage.

 Goodbye, Joe, we really knew ye. 

 

 

That Was The Week That Was

 

A little inside baseball.  I try, really try, to write three Humor Me blog posts a month.

Believe it or not, it can be a little tricky.

First of all, I have a "job" that takes up a lot of my time, and a lot of it is spent typing. Frankly, sometimes I'm just "too pooped to pop" as my mom would say and the thought of sitting behind another computer banging out a post is too much.

Then, I have something called "a life." I have a wife, a son, a daughter-in-law, and a grandson. My wife wants to see our grandson as much as possible, so we have to travel from the palatial Manis Manor in Cobb County to my son's house in the wilds of Paulding County.

We also go to church, the gym, and the grocery store.

You get the picture. Unlike talented writers, I have to think about a topic before I write about it. In addition, my actual writing is hindered by my general lack of knowledge of grammar and my problems with spelling.  Pro tip: if you take up writing as a hobby, learn how to spell. 

Since my blog is not about one specific thing, I must search for topics.  Last week was the week I had too many things to do, so I didn't write. Of course, that is when some kid tried to kill Donald Trump by blowing his head off but instead almost blew off his right ear. 

I remember where I was when I first heard the news: I was in the Chick-fil-A drive-through. I know, big surprise.

My wife and I watched the coverage of the assassination attempt on television.

Trump was talking in that way he talks. He grabs at his ear. The Secret Service grabs him. He pumps his fist and is rushed to his car. This scene was replayed over and over again.  At least with the Kennedy Assassination, it took several years for the Zapruder film to be shown. 

For someone my age, it was just Deja Vu all over again.  Kennedy, King, Kennedy, Wallace, Ford (twice in one month), and Reagan.   

Of course, there is a long string of mistakes and failures.  The Head of The Secret Service said, with a straight face, that the roof where the shooter had a clear sight line of Trump, only a football field and a half away, was slightly sloped and presented a safety concern for the agents, who, you know, are supposed to jump in front of bullets. So, we couldn't be expected them to be actually on the building like the shooter.

First, it is "pitch" instead of slope when discussing a roof. Second, the shooter made it up there with no problem.  Finally, when the shooter was killed, he didn't fall off the roof.

If you are going to say, "The buck stops with me," like you are some latter-day Harry Truman, you cannot offer up a lame, mealy-mouth excuse for what was clearly a mistake.

Of course, the internet speculated that it was "staged" because, for all its usefulness, the internet is also the place where stupid people hang out.

My favorite debate on X (Twitter) was about Trump's ear bandage.  You would be amazed on how many ear bandage experts there are on X. 

The attempted assassination eclipsed the latest Media game of trying to run President Biden out of the race because we have just learned he is old.

Look, not all 80-year-olds are alike. Mick Jagger can still strut around and sing like he did when he was 30. Biden, on the other hand, is looking more and more like Mr. Burns.  I half way expect him to end a speech by say, "Smithers, release the hounds!"

He commented three times on the attempt on Trump's life. All three times, he seemed to imply that maybe Trump wasn't such an existential threat to all that is kind and good after all, and everybody should cool it.

He spent the rest of the week shouting about what a great president he was and that he was not going anywhere.

Then he got Covid, and it sounded like all the Big Wig Democrats were finally ready to join in one big chorus: Joe Must Go (If he feels like it, which he really should, if he wants). They even came up with a plan in which they would have a mini-primary system in which everybody could participate and select a candidate that would energize the party.

As of today, right now, at this moment, it sounds like Biden, could possibly, maybe, perhaps stay in the race.

The Republican Convention was this week. Trump announced his new VEEP pick: JD Vance of Ohio, who has been a Senator for a couple of weeks.

Vance wrote the book Hillbilly Elegy, which is a good book.  He was a big-time Never Trumper in 2016, but he's walked the aisle and is now a Trumpster like no other.  Trump loves him some people that grovel.

He brings some intellectual heft to the ticket. He also has a PWT background. It is refreshing to have a Republican who wasn't on the Day School Polo team in eighth grade.

The Convention went on as planned, and it seems that the Republicans were unified.  They let some regular people speak, and everything was honky-dory for the GOP for the first time in a very long time.

 Then Trump spoke.

He spoke for 96 minutes. For the first 30 minutes, he was the human all his children and grandchildren said he was. For the remaining 66 minutes, he was cranking out the greatest hits.

At least it answered the question of whether the assassination attempt changed Trump.  Answer: No.

That's a lot for one week. I'm too pooped to pop. 

President Gaslight

 "Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?"

As you all know, I majored in college in history (like a doofus). But you don't need to be a history major to understand that President Biden put in the worst debate performance by anyone in a Presidential debate. Ever.

That includes Ford (liberating Poland), Carter (discussing "new-clear" war with his daughter), Dukakis (answering a question about his wife being raped and murder while looking like he was doing a Sodoku), and Bush I (looking at his watch)

I don't think you can minimize how awful Biden looked, acted, or spoke in his debate with Former President Orange Dictator.

It was beyond description.  Biden's performance was a dumpster fire wrapped in a train wreck during a massive poop storm.

If Trump is such a "threat to Democracy" that Democrats have been saying, for the good of the party, country, and world, President Biden should withdraw from the race and allow his party, the party he loves so much, to nominate someone else. 

Even Vice President Harris.

Though I disagree with Harris about 99.9% of the time, I'm pretty sure she knows what day it is. I think.

But, you know, history has shown that it is hard to get somebody to bow out when they get to that level.

In 1944, President Roosevelt looked sick. Because he was! He was in very ill health. But he thought he was the indispensable man. He "agreed" to be nominated and won reelection running against Tom Dewey, the last Republican with a mustache.

He served 82 days of his term before dying in office.  He was 63 years old. 18 years younger than Biden is now.

After Nixon released the "transcripts"  of his secretly recorded tapes, it was obvious that he was going to have to go. But he hung on as long as he could. Finally, Barry Goldwater and a couple of others had to walk into the Oval Office and get Nixon to scat.

But over the last 30 years, Presidents have hung tough.  I still don't know how Clinton made it after he wagged that crooked finger at us and said he didn't have sex with that woman. In case you forgot, Clinton did have some form of sex with that woman, although I'm not sure Clinton counted it as sex.

Who can forget all of the issues Trump had while he was President?  He just hung tough and survived two impeachments.

This time, it is a little different. It is about basic honesty.

The White House, The Democratic Party, and the mainstream media have not been honest with us about Biden. What they have been doing is gaslighting us.

According to the interwebs, "Gaslighting is the action of repetitively (and often brazenly) lying to someone to manipulate."

The White House, The Democratic Party, and the mainstream media have acted like there was nothing wrong with Biden, and there is something wrong with you if you think the President is infirm.

What am I? A doctor?  No, I'm not. I'm not able to make a medical diagnosis of Alzheimer's or dementia.  However, I will note that it didn't prevent the Twitter-verse from diagnosing Trump as a narcissist.

But I have known elderly people, and I'm getting there myself.  The presidency is a tough job, and it requires firing on all cylinders.

Can anyone honestly, in your heart of hearts, say Biden's firing on all cylinders?

He is not.

Anything is possible in politics and Biden might be able to win. But it doesn't look like it.