This Week's Picks Week 9

Is the first time in the history of This Week's Picks that both Georgia and Georgia Tech are off on the same Saturday?

Which is a good thing because they both had a good Saturday last week.

For one thing, Georgia Tech won their game! Yay, bees, yay!  See we told you that you would eventually win another game this year. Okay, maybe it was more of a Christmas present from Coral Gables but a win is a win. Tech has absolutely the biggest punter I have ever seen in college football and the kid through a touchdown pass on a fake punt.  I'm telling you, the future is so bright that you got to wear shades, you ramblin' slide rules!

Georgia had a home game following the cluster (fill in the blank) loss against the Chickens. Georgia played Kentucky in a game that was truly a mess. It was raining. The Georgia defense shut down Kentucky's twelve-string quarter, but the Georgia offense was going nowhere.

Someone in the Georgia brain trust (no, that is not an oxymoron) had this brilliant idea: give the ball to D'Andre Swift. That's always a good idea.

Georgia finally broke away and defeated Kentucky.  You would not believe how important that was. Georgia now can take a week off to prepare to play Florida at The World Largest Reason For DUI Laws.  They need it.

This Week's Picks!



Wescohnson vs The Ahia State:  Two weeks ago this would have been the GAME OF THE MONTH. But, Wisconsin (the UGA of The Big Ten) did their annual face plant, this time against Illinois. The head coach of Illinois is Lovie (Dovie Is Not My Middle Name) Smith.  Smith used to be the head coach of the Chicago Bears. He's let his beard grow out like he's a long lost Robertson of "Duck Dynasty". It was the biggest win Illinois football history.  Wisconsin has a good team and they should be Ohio State's first real test. Nobody in the Big Ten is going to beat Ohio State. (That sound you hear is everybody in Las Vegas changing their bets from Ohio State to Wisconsin. I don't care)  Ohio State wins


War Tigers vs Ellesyou: Now this is THE GAME OF THE MONTH.  Say, do you know what "Auburn" stands for?  "Alabama usually beats us red necks".  Needlessly to say, Auburn is the red-headed step-child in Alabama. They are a good team. Howevah, (as we Southerners say) LSU might just be as good as Alabama this year.  It would be easy just to say "Tigers win" and leave it at that. But I won't.  LSU wins.


Lions of Nittany vs Sparty.  It looks like Penn State is back to their winning ways when St Joe The Enabler was the head coach. Michigan State is Michigan State.  Penn State is just a better team. Penn State wins.


Our Lady vs Meeshegan. You know how I know Notre Dame is going to win this game? Jim Harbaugh is still the head coach of Michigan. They never beat a Top Ten ranked team. This will be no exception. Notre Dame wins


Jawjer Suthern vs New Mescan State:  In what has to be a first in the history of college football, all of the members of the Georgia Southern Eagles were penalized for .....dancing. It fits right in the the Georgia Southern branding campaign. "Georgia Southern: We may not ever win the FBS Championship But We Know How To Shake Our Groove Thing". New Mexico State hasn't won a game all year. Georgia Southern wins.


Kennesaw State vs North Alabama:  My Beloved Owls just keep marching on. They'll beat North Alabama.  Kennesaw State wins.

Shut Up

Recently, the retired great radio man Don Imus posted the following tweet, which I have censored because I want to get into heaven.

"SHUT THE (Blank) UP 

 Joe Biden

LeBron James  

Every (blank) on CNN

Blubber (blank)  (This is what the I-man calls President Trump)

The two (blanks) in the Sonic Burger spots

The perv with the goatee on the golf channel

Donald Trump, Jr. 

Hillary Clinton holy (blank) the world is begging you, SHUT the (blank) UP GIRL!

Rudy" 

Even with the crassness and vulgarity of it, I agree with this tweet.

Joe Biden.  Look does anyone really knows what Joe Biden is talking about?  When he's not glorifying in his personal Quid Pro Quo, he's talking about "Corn Pop" and how he (Corn Pop, not Joe Biden) was a "Bad Dude".  He's too old to be the President of the Chamber of Commerce, much less of the United States.

LeBron James.  The greatest basketball player in history got his feelings hurt when an Ivy Leaguer told him to "Shut up and dribble". So he read a book. Maybe.  Just being the greatest basketball player in history wasn't enough for LBJ.  No, he had to be a SPOKESMAN for JUSTICE.  Except when it came to China.  Then he was all, hey, everybody, stay in your lane. Meanwhile, live people are having their organs harvested in China.

Every  (blank) on CNN.  Lord, what has happened to this network? If it wasn't for airports, would it still be on the air?

Blubber (blank).  How many times have you heard someone say, "I wish President Trump would stay off of Twitter"  or "I wish President Trump wouldn't talk so much"?  It would probably be in the millions.  For every time he says something that makes sense, he'll say ten things which are totally whacked.  Please, Mr. President. Less is more.

The two (blanks) in the Sonic Burger spots.  I sort of disagree with The I-man on this one.  In case you don't know, Sonic is a drive-in and their commercials feature two guys. One sensible, the other mildly mentally challenged.  Some of the commercials are funny, but it is weird that two guys go to a Sonic without their wives or girl friends and then talk about what they just ate.

The perv with the goatee on the Golf  Channel.   I don't watch The Golf Channel but if Imus says the man with the goatee is a perv, I believe him.

Donald Trump, Jr.   Talk about the apple not falling far from the tree. This guy is every '80's movie jerk cliche rolled into one person. He's been dating Kimberly Guilfoyle for a couple of years now, so he shouldn't have any complaints.

Hillary Clinton.  This is a no brainer. I've always thought Mrs. Clinton was one of the most overrated people of my lifetime.  She's never had an original thought except let's marry this hick and ride his coat-tails despite his horn-dog ways.  Everything is always somebody else's fault.  On top of this, she lies like a rug.  Her latest is this dust-up with Tulsi Gabbard. Clinton said Gabbard is a being used by the Russians. Clinton didn't even offer up a dossier like she had somebody write up about Trump. No, our gal Hillary just blurts out an assertion because, hey, she's Hillary Clinton and that's what she does.

Rudy.  How the mighty has fallen.  Rudy Giuliani cleaned up New York City and was the brave mayor during 9/11.  Now, he's just another attorney.

Here's a couple more I want to add to The I-man's list.

Elizabeth Warren. The 2020 election cycle hasn't even kicked it into second gear and I'm already tired of her.  She's a big phony. Sure, she thinks taxing "wealth" is a great idea.  You will be surprised how many people a Warren administration will consider wealthy.

Bernie Sanders.  Look, it was kind of funny when it seemed like he was really Larry David.  Now he is just some old man complaining about his soup.

Alexandria Ocasio- Cortez.  Here's the truth. You are cute but nobody is impressed that you have read a book (see James, LeBron).

This Week's Picks Week 8

I did something last week I thought I would never do.

I went to a homecoming football game at my alma mater.

In case you are new, I am a graduate of Kennesaw College, class of 1983.  I majored in history and minored in political science.

Kennesaw College was a small commuter school when I was there. It was everybody's last chance, I guess.  I can't tell you how many people I knew that started someplace else and ended up at Kennesaw.

One time, while going to class, I heard a guy say, "I flunked out of Clemson so I came here to get my grades up and now I'm flunking here."

Before it was Kennesaw College, it was Kennesaw Junior College.  My class was the fourth graduating class as a senior college. Still, you would be surprised how people would argue with me over my degree. Once when I said I had a BA from Kennesaw, someone said I was lying because it was a junior college. They were not kidding. I offered to bring my diploma in because I wasn't kidding either.


As time went on, Kennesaw College grew. It became Kennesaw State College and started offering MBA and EMBA degrees. One day, Kennesaw State College became Kennesaw State University and now it is the third-largest university in the state, behind only the University of Georgia and Georgia State University.

Now Kennesaw State has a football team. They are pretty good. They play in the Big South Conference in the FCS (Football Championship Subdivision). They have won the Big South twice.

I saw the homecoming parade.  I met the President of Kennesaw State, the athletic director, the cheerleaders, members of the ladies' basketball team, and the students who paint their bodies in gold in the student section.  I had a wonderful time.

On top of all that, unlike several other teams in the state of Georiga, Kennesaw State won.

I would like to thank Caric Martin, who knows everybody on the face of the earth, for hooking me up with this great deal.

This Week's Picks.

Jawjer vs Kenyucky:  If there is any team that had it worse last week than the Atlanta Braves last week, it was the Georgia Bulldogs. It is bad any time the Bulldogs lose to the Chickens and it was bad last week. Oh well, Georgia usually Georgia's it up at least once during the season. Now, they can't make another mistake. They can still win the East. But first, they have to beat Kentucky. They better, or you're going to hear more of the "Kirby's not so Smart.  UGA wins.

 

Buzzed vs Myamme:  Lost in all the mess last week (Braves, Dawgs, and Falcons) was the fact that Georgia Tech got killed again last week. This week doesn't look any better. This is not the Miami team of old. They are just another football team that will beat Tech.  Miami wins.


Clem's son vs Lousyville:  I know I'm supposed to be open mind, but I really wish the Clemson quarterback, Trevor Lawrence, would get a haircut.  Clemson had a close shave (get it?!) against North Carolina. However, they crushed Florida State 6,000,000 to nothing (or thereabouts).  Clemson will be in the playoff if the Manis Jinx doesn't get them.  Clemson wins.


Ellessyou vs Other Bulldogs: As they say in the Red Stick (Baton Rouge):  "Les tigers sont bein reels cette anne et les bouldogues benissent leur couer."  (Translation:  Something about the Tigers being really good and the Mississippi Bulldogs are not and let's go get drunk and get into a fight and sing about papa)    LSU wins

Beloved Owls vs The Chosen Frozen:  Kennesaw State travels to Clinton, South Carolina to play Presbyterian College, which oddly enough is affiliated with the Presbyterian Church.  I'm not sure which Presbyterian Church they are associated with because they are millions of Presbyterian denominations there. There's Presbyterian Church (USA), Presbyterian Church of America (PCA), Presbyterian Church of The Golf Course (PCGC), et.al.  They all are of the "Reformed" tradition, which means they can buy beer.  Anyway, PC is having a pretty bad year. In fact, they haven't won a game all year.  It is predestined:  Kennesaw wins.

This Week's Picks Week 7

One of the new stars on the national sports talk show scene is Clay Travis of Outkick The Coverage.

Not only is Outkick a radio show that broadcasts on Fox Sports Radio Network, but it is also a website. Travis lives in Nashville, Tennessee. One of his sons is a big Atlanta Braves fan. This is what Clay wrote last week regarding the Braves first loss in the National League Division Series.


I root for the Braves now because I want my nine-year-old son to be happy.

And last night he wasn’t happy.

I had to sit him down and give up talk about the third b (thankfully we aren’t at the birds and the bees yet, but we are, unfortunately, at the Braves.)

So I told him the Braves haven’t won a playoff series since 2001 and that they’ve lost the opening game of a playoff series nine straight times

And he just looked up at me — with his Ozzie Albie chain hanging around his neck — and said, “But dad, why can’t they just play like they do in the regular season in the playoffs?”

And I said: “Son, Braves fans have been asking that question since way before you were born. No one knows.”

And he was just crushed.

It was a really tough conversation to have.

I hate that I had to share the real sports world of an Atlanta Braves baseball fan with him.

All I would say is this: welcome to the club, kid. Welcome to the club.




This Week's Picks



Dawgs vs Chickens: When it comes to Georgia, I come from the Vince Dooley School Of Worry. That is, I never quite buy all of the hype that is thrown around in college football.  I believe all the schools have good players and they are on scholarship too.  I was really worried last week when the freshman Tennessee quarterback with the prison tattoos threw that touchdown.  South Carolina isn't Tennessee, but I don't think they have the depth either to run with the Dawgs.  The Dawgs win.

Buzzed vs Dook:  Have you ever heard the phrase, "I knew it would be bad, but I didn't know it would be this bad"?  Well, that describes this season for Tech. They knew there would be some adjustment learning another "system", they just didn't know it would mean their season would be a bus fire inside of a garbage fire in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse.  Meanwhile, Duke is 3-2 and was competitive with Alabama for a series of downs.  Duke wins.



Raw Tad vs The Twelfth Dude: Do you know why Aggie farmers can't raise chickens? Because they plant the eggs too deep.   How many Texas A&M freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?  None. It is a second-year course.  How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?  Three. One to eat it and two watch the road.  See, that is one of the few problems living this far from Texas, you never hear the great Aggie jokes. Wait, oh yeah, the game.  Bama wins

Ellesyou vs Lizards:  You know, I''m still puzzled about how Kyle Trask could play for the Gators, much less start since he never started a game in high school. He seems like he's pretty good. Florida looks like they are back. However, they are playing LSU, and LSU is crazy good. LSU wins.

Kennesaw State vs Charleston Southern.  I'll be in attendence at my first homecoming game at Kennesaw State and I'll be rooting for my beloved Owls.  I know nothing about Charleston Southern except that they will be the latest victim.  Kennesaw State wins.

Friday Night Mustangs

This is how old I am. I am, "my son went to his ten-year high school class reunion" old.

My son graduated in 2009.  Twitter was only a year old.

He used to post a lot on something called Facebook.  It would clog up our e-mail because back then, Facebook used to notify your e-mail address every time you posted or someone responded to you.

Previously, he had been on something called Myspace.

Myspace was a big deal, at least for a little while. But it was like The Blackberry before The iPhone came out. Something bigger and better came along and Myspace was history.

Sort of.  The tech magazine Livewire says that Myspace is still chugging along and (as of 2016) they still get 15 million monthly active visitors. It is the quietest 15 million active anything around because I never hear anyone mention Myspace at all.

People with good memories will remember that my son was on the football team. The Kennesaw Mountain Mustangs.  He was number 38 and was a running back. He gained during his high school football career six yards. He did it in one game. I still have a copy of the Marietta Daily Journal which lists his name in the statistics of the game. 

The Head Coach of the Mustangs at that time was Scott Jones. Scott built the team from the ground up. Kennesaw Mountain was a "new" school at the time. That is, the county built it and said, here go get yourself a football team.

So Scott had to go out and raise money because the county didn't buy anything for the sports teams. They didn't even have a rake.

Scott was really good at raising money.  The football team had to sell "coupons" for local restaurants.  You know, here's a coupon for a free coke with your burger type of stuff. Somehow, and I don't know how he got a wings coupon from the local Hooters one year. I took the coupons to work to sell. They sold out.

The problem was The Mustangs just had an okay record and never made the playoffs The high school down the street, Harrison, had a great record and made the playoffs

I'm not sure why Harrison was so good and we were not. It was just one of those things. Harrison had been around maybe ten years longer, so I guess they were more established.

What added to the problem was Kennesaw Mountain had a very successful marching band.

I know a little bit about marching bands because I lived across the street from Wheeler High School for ten years. Back in the sixties, the Wheeler Marching Band basically played "Hey There Georgie Girl" every fall.

By the time the seventies came, the Wheeler Marching Band had moved up to "MacArthur Park".  My sister in law, who was on the flag corps, said that once during practice for the Friday Night Half Time, the band director became irritated with the band.  He said,  "People, people. The cake is melting in the rain!"

By the time my son went to high school, the high school marching bands went from playing the day's hit songs to performance art.

Their first year, Kennesaw Mountain performed "Oh, The Places You Will Go!" at halftime. It was based on the Dr. Suess book everyone reads at graduations. I remember they had one student prancing around like the main character in the Dr. Suess book. I remember thinking I'm glad that wasn't my kid.

By the time my son's class made it to Friday nights, the band was playing selections from "Wicked".  I seem to remember the band winning a lot of awards and tournaments.  I also remember the band parents leaving after halftime.

The Mustangs were not bad. They had a fairly competitive team. Sure, they lost some games they probably should have/could have won. But every high school does that.

After my son graduated, Scott coached for a couple of more seasons. Then, one day, he was sacked. He ended up at North Paulding High School. He had some pretty good seasons over there..  He retired from teaching in 2017.

Considering my son was the twelfth-string running back, Scott treated my son well and he was always very nice to us. I really couldn't ask for anything more.

I still keep up with the Mustangs. They are having a tough year. They haven't won a game.

I looked up the records. The Mustangs have had only two winning seasons in their history. 2007 and 2008.  My son's junior and senior seasons.

This Week's Picks Week 6

This is a true statement.  You cannot be a fan of any Atlanta professional sports franchises without knowing that they will tear your heart out. Every single franchise. The names on the uniforms change, but it is still the same result.

It is 28-3 in the Super Bowl late in the third quarter. The Atlanta Falcons are the 28. The Falcons lose the game.

Up 2 games on the New York Yankees in 1996. The flame-throwing reliever throws a slider (that didn't slide) to the 2nd string Yankees catcher. The Braves didn't win another game that year.

It is always something. The ump missing a call. Lonnie Smith getting deked. A cornerback gets arrested on the night before the Super Bowl.

Yes, the Braves won the World Series in 1995. But on that last out, which was a deep high fly caught by Marquis Grissom, I half-way expected it to go out.

Just turned off the latest. The Braves in the Divisional Series. The Braves won the Eastern Division easily this year. The Cardinals barely won theirs. Atlanta was rocking this afternoon. What happens? The bullpen, which was always an adventure this year, was awful. That's putting it kindly.

Oh well, there's another game tomorrow. Maybe there will be another Infield Fly Rule enforced, except this time, it will be on the warning track.


This Week's Picks.

Doggies vs Rocky Topped:  Both teams had a bye week last week. I'm not sure Georgia needed a week to get ready for Tennessee. Tennessee, bless their hearts, would love to beat Georgia. I would love to win the lottery. I mean, there's a chance, right? It is highly unlikely that this Tennessee team (bless their hearts)  will beat this Georgia team.  UGA wins.

Wrecked vs Heels of Tar:  The good news for Tennessee, bless their hearts, is that Georgia Tech is having even a worse year. This is how bad it is for Tech. I picked Temple last week. It was part of my sneaky plan to infect Temple with the dreaded "Manis Curse". It didn't work. Even Tech's opponents are immune to the "Manis Curse". Attention Bees: I've done all I can do. You are on your own.  North Carolina almost beat Clemson last week.  North Carolina wins. 

The War Tigers vs Reptiles:  Both Auburn and Florida are better than I thought they would be. I can't believe how well the freshman Auburn quarterback is playing. I just think, right now, and this moment, as it stands, Auburn is the better team.  Auburn wins.

Ahia State vs Sparty:  Ohio State quarterback, Justin Fields went to Harrison High School, which was my son's high school's main nemesis. I've heard a lot about Justin over the years. But, to be honest, you never really know how well someone is going to play in college. Well, let me tell you, Fields is really, really good. Really.  If Ohio State keeps playing like they've been playing, they'll be in the playoff hunt in December, no question. If Fields keeps playing like he's been playing, he'll get invited to New York. But first, they have to get by teams like Michigan State. I just don't think they can stop Ohio State.  Ohio State wins

Other Aggies vs Ellesyew: Now, this is a tough one for me.  As you know, my high school chum, Paul, sent me a Utah State t-shirt for free, simply because I begged for one. I have another friend, Terry, who is a huge LSU fan. He thinks Joe Burrow is the best thing since jambalaya.  Burrow is good and LSU is a good team. But Terry has never sent me a t-shirt. No matter, as Coach Lee Curso would say, but this is business. LSU wins.