Insulting Compliments

 

 

We have learned this week that the greatest insult you can give a person is to compliment them. 

Howie Mandel was on "Live With Kelly and Mark or Ryan or Michael but Not Regis Because Regis is In the Great Big Studio In The Sky" and Kelly, of all people, got sideways with Howie.

First of all, I've always liked Howie Mandel, going back to the time he was on TV putting surgical gloves on his head and blowing it up. (The gloves, not his head.)

He was on this medical drama called "St. Elsewhere," where he played a wacky doctor. (Footnote: "St. Elsewhere" was the show that started Denzel Washington who is 71 and looks great for his age on his path to stardom.  The show's finale revealed that it was the entire show a dream of an autistic child.)

He's a very funny man and does a bit about the digital prostate check exam that will leave you needing Depends.

Also, my wife and I were in the audience of "Live With Kelly And Ryan" a few years ago.  Fun fact: Ryan Seacrist was a disc jockey at WSTR ("Star 94"), here in Atlanta in the nineties. I would like to say I listened to his show and knew that young man was going to go far, but I have no memory of listening to him.

The key to being in the audience for "Live" is two-fold:  1) Can you get up early in the morning, and 2) Can you wait in line at WABC?

The big star for our show was Tom Selleck.  We had really good seats, and I was able to observe Mr. Selleck, and I came to two conclusions.

One, Mr. Selleck is physically a large man.  No wonder the gals like him.

Two,  it was early in the morning for Mr. Selleck, too, and it seemed he would rather be somewhere else. I don't blame him.

The "Mark" on "Live With Kelly and Mark" is Mark Consuelos, who is married to Kelly. It is a good gig if you can get it.  He seems like a guy who was so doggone good-looking that you had to give him a job.

He married Kelly when they both worked on a soap opera together, and they don't appear to be a husband and wife Phil Donahue tag-team out to get the celebrities.

Here's what happened. Howie is introduced. Hubs told Howie, "You just celebrated 70 years. You’re 70 years old." Wifey said that “it doesn’t make any sense” to her because Mandel “looks great.”

Howie said, “I look great? That doesn’t mean anything to me. No, no, no, no. I don’t like that, because that’s a caveat." He goes on to say,  “It’s like saying you’re smart for a stupid person.”

No, it doesn't. 

Howie is trying to say this compliment is like, "hey, you don't sweat much for a fat girl." It is simply not a backhanded compliment like one I got, saying, "You don't act like a short person."  People have their minds on how short people have acted around them.  I guess I never got the book telling me how to act.

Sara Moniuszko writes in USA Today, Chloe Bean, "a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in trauma, says this comment can activate shame because it reinforces the message that aging is something to apologize for or avoid."

"Even when it's intended to be flattering, 'you look good for your age' can land as an insult because it suggests a pressure to keep looking different than the age you are,' Bean said, which can reinforce the idea that your value is being measured by your appearance."

 First of all, intentions do matter.  You can't get all snippy with someone because they activated your shame gland.  Secondly, Howie Mandel has never been valued for his appearance. He was valued for being one of the funniest men on the planet. 

Mandel is four years older than I am.  I'm not a person who gets a lot of compliments, but I am complimented for not looking sixty-six years old. The only reason for that is that I have all my hair, and the hair I have is not gray.  Well, I do have some gray hair, but my wife says it is, and I quote, "kind of sexy".  

After being near-sighted, big-eared, short, and little tubby, the Lord said, "Ah, let him keep his hair and hair color."

Ms. Moniuszko's article gives us some tips on talking to people who look good for their age, so you don't hurt their pumpkin feeling by telling them they look good for their age. 

Chloe Bean, who I remind you is a  licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in trauma, gives some alternatives such as: "It's always so great to see you," "You have such great energy," and "I always look forward to our conversations about how you don't look your age while I look like Gollum."

By the way, I did watch the clip of Howie, Kelly, and Mark. I didn't think it was all that bad, but I understand Kelly is banning Howie from the show for not acting his age. 

(Note: As I was posting his, Howie posted an apology to Kelly and said he does look good for his age. Thanks a lot, Howie.)

 

 

This Is CNN

 

 

"Two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City Saturday morning for what could’ve been a normal day enjoying the city during abnormally warm weather. But in less than an hour, their lives would drastically change as the pair would be arrested for throwing homemade bombs during an anti-Muslim protest outside of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s home". 

The above was the first paragraph in the CNN.com report on the two young men who threw homemade bombs outside the home of New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani.

Many have criticized the post as being little too nice to two individuals who wanted to blow up people. Kids will be kids. 

 I took it upon myself to look up other CNN reports in their archives regarding past events.

*"James Wilkes Booth was a well-regarded actor dropped by Ford's Theater just to check up on some old friends. But, wouldn't you know it, his friends were performing in the hit play, "Our American Cousin",  and President Lincoln was in his balcony seat. Booth had bought a new pistol and thought the President would be interested in seeing it. Ooopsie-doodle, the gun went off and Booth had to jump from the balcony to the stage. Upon landing on the stage, Booth broke his leg and yelled to the crowd, "Sic Simper Tyrannis". This reporter took Latin in school and this means "My tyrannis is sick with the simpers."

 

*"Gavrilo Princip was a Serbian nationalist student who always wanted to start a World War that no one would understand.  Gavrilo did not make good grades in school, mainly because he didn't know how to spell his name.  But wouldn't you know it, Archduke Franz Ferndinad and his lovely wife, Sophie, came driving by and Gavrilo thought this would be a good time to start a World War because Franz Ferdinand was not only the heir to the Austria-Hungry throne but also a band that played songs like "Darts of Pleasure”, “Walk Away”, and “Ulysses”.  So Gavrilo shot both of them. This has started the World War Gavrilo wanted although we're still not sure we understand why. 

 

 * "On December 7, 1941, Mitsuo Fuchida was flying around with a couple of friends when he decided they should fly to the Hawaiian Islands just for giggles. The planes Mitsuo and his friends were flying felt weighted down by all of the bombs they were carrying.  When they saw Pearl Harbor, Mitsuo sent a coded message "To, To, To" which meant "Everybody have fun tonight,"  and the young pilots dropped their bombs on the US Naval Battleships, which just happened to be in the harbor.  Then Mitsuo sent another coded message:  "Tora, Tora, Tora," which meant "Everybody Wang Chung tonight."  This led to more bombing and caused Ben Affleck and Josh Harnett to get involved by chasing them in the only two airplanes that were not damaged from the "raid". Upon hearing the news, President Jon Voight to stood up."

 

* "On Friday morning, Lee Harvey Oswald caught a ride to work with his friend, Buell Frasier,  with a paper package of curtain rods.  Oswald went up into his work area on the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository, taking his curtain rods with him.  He set up a little area of boxes of books stacked on top of each other, so he could study the curtain rods. These were fancy curtain rods and everybody was always telling him how to hang the curtain rods like they were some kind of expert. When he opened the package, he was in for a surprise.  Oswald didn't pick up his curtain rods. He picked up his Carcano rifle that he totally, by accident, shot in the vicinity of General Edwin Walker. Oswald decided to shoot the rifle, three times out the window.  Talk about all of the dumb luck. The President of The United States just happen to riding by in an open convertible."

 

* "In the early morning of August 9, 1969, Tex Watson, Susan Atkins, Patricia Krewinkel, and Linda Kasabian drove around Hollywood looking at the homes of movie stars. They came across 10050 Cielo Drive which was the home of Sharon Tate. "What a great place to start Helter Skelter!", Tex Watson exclaimed.  Susan Atkins said, "I wonder what other Beatle songs Sharon Tate likes."  It is not known if Tate even liked The Beatles.

 

* As a youth. Virgilio Gonzalez enjoyed playing in the sand at one of the glorious beaches in Cuba.  Yesterday, he has broke into the Democratic Party's National Headquarters at The Watergate Hotel because they were going to nominate the glowing hunk of charisma, South Dakota Senator George McGovern.

 

 

Ol' Bill

 

 

You may have noticed that I don't post as often on politics as I used to in the past.

One reason is that politics has gotten into a rut where nobody laughs at themselves, and they think their political opponents are the spawn of Satan. That is, if they believe in Satan. Otherwise, it is Hitler twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. 

A lot of the political humor has morphed into this Colin Jost Weekend Update bit, "Senator Mitch McConnell, seen here smiling at a box of puppies being sit on fire".  It is funny the first million times you hear it. 

 I was going to comment about President Trump, addressing the nation about bombing Iran, while wearing a USA baseball cap.  I thought it would have been neat to watch newsreels of President Truman wearing a leather football helmet while announcing the surrender of Japan. 

But some people will complain about the "dignity" of the White House, while others would call me a RINO.  It's just not worth my time, but it was still funny, ha-ha, and not ha-ha, if you know what I mean. 

 People say they want a "political dialogue."  They don't. They want a monologue and guess who is talking.  Hint: it is not you. 

After they finish their brilliance, they want you to cry "Uncle" and pledge to agree with them on any topic.  

One thing people argue about is "The Epstein Files".

Jeffrey Epstein was a rich jet setter who was a pervert and sexually exploited underage girls. 

He ran around with some hoity-toity people, including Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Prince Andrew.  The other people he ran with were your basic run-of-the-mill EuroTrash men that held these la-te-da jobs and enjoyed the company of girls who never heard of John Lennon. 

It is pretty well documented that Prince Andrew "knew" many of the girls in the biblical sense. As for Trump and Clinton, it really depends on what you think about Trump and Clinton. 

I have an unpopular opinion.  Both Trump and Clinton have been cads in their lives.  That is undeniable. 

However, I don't think Trump and Clinton ever did the Prince Andrew with any of Epstein's victims. I just don't see any evidence.

I watched a little of President Clinton's testimony before the House committee on CSPAN. Yes, my life in retirement is that exciting.

There was President Bill. Head full of white hair. Looking cagey as ever. He even flirted with a comely Republican Congresswoman. The man can't help himself. 

Committee Member:  "Do you remember what happened on February 12 2002?"

President Bill:  "Whale, ah, you haffa member that there wuz a big ole earf quake in Inder and I was dealin' with that. An tryin to git the house set up for you know who, so I don't member."

Committee Member:  "You were on a private plane with Jeffrey Epstein and forty former Penthouse Pets."

President Bill:  "Ah wuz?  Whale, slap some butter on me and call me a biscuit."

Whatever they were looking for from President Clinton, I'm sure they didn't find it. 

I mean, this guy survived "acting inappropriately" in the White House and the state house in Arkansas. He was the Big Cheese. I've heard a billion people say that when they met Bill Clinton you had his full attention-you were the most important person on earth-even if you wasn't built. 

Clinton is the only person I know of that got into politics to meet chicks. 

Still, watching President Bill, with the shakes as he tries to drink some water, I felt sort of sorry for him. I can assure you that is the first time that has happened.