Cliffs Notes

 

 

As I've said before, I am a graduate of Wheeler High School, which is located in East Cobb County, Georgia.

(Cobb County has four sections: East, West, North, and South. In the 70s when I was going to school, East Cobb was the Le-Te-Fricken-Da section of Cobb.  Parts of it still are to this day, but parts are not.)

My only real problem was that most kids at Wheeler ( school motto: "Where the leaders of tomorrow are smoking cigarettes between the classes of today"), were very smart.

Some of the kids in my class were so smart they would actually READ AN ASSIGNED BOOK and be ready for a test.

However, others were like me-hindered by a genetic defect called being a total dork. If not for Cliffs Notes*, I'd probably would still be in school.  A sixty-five year old high school junior.

In case you don't remember, Cliffs Notes is a "popular tool for many students seeking a shortcut to understanding complex texts. These condensed summaries provide a quick overview of books, plays, and poems, allowing students to grasp the main ideas and themes without reading the entire work." (Faster Capital Blog: The Pros And Cons of Using Cliffs Notes)

Simply, Cliffs Notes allowed the 70s high school student a shortcut in understanding complex literature that was "boring as all get out" as we would say back them.

Cliffs Notes were controversial.  I had one English teacher (not Roger Hines, although he probably agreed) say the Cliffs Notes had  "intentional errors," and you shouldn't rely on it.

In other words, you are supposed to read all of Tess Of The D'Urbervilles and not just the Cliffs Notes like "that Manis kid."  

On my Facebook page, I decided to give everyone a break about the pros or cons of the orange man and asked if anybody used Cliffs Notes.   A lot of people, now that they are long past high school, confessed that they used Cliffs Notes and tried to bull their way through the book reports.  God bless America.
 

One Facebook friend of mine, the incredible Terry McCoy, who didn't go to Wheeler, but he could have, wrote about another product that I missed:

"Monarch notes were my book summaries of choice. Cliffs notes (sic) were too common and teachers could smell a book report written from them a mile away. Monarch notes were more obscure. But let’s be honest, any teacher who assigned Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray was just trying to take the semester off and discourage any kid from reading one more word for the rest of their life. It almost worked on me."

(Why am I just now learning about Monarch Notes?  What a rip.) 

Terry is right about teachers and Cliffs Notes. Back then you did not have computer programs in which the teacher could load your book report on to sniff out Cliffs Notes usage and plagiarism  although it wasn't necessary for my reports.

"Tess of The D'Uberviiles is about a girl named Tess who lived in a house in the town of D'Urberville. It may have something to do with sex, but I couldn't tell. There were no good parts that could have spiced things up like 'Tess walked in buck naked'.  I know I would have enjoyed it more. Please give me a passing grade on this. I would hate to go to summer school." 

I will say this: sometimes a student must take a short cut because school is interfering with other parts of their lives like work, dating, and sitting around listening to records.  

I knew someone who took a short cut. 

I knew this guy in college.  He was a biology major and was an outstanding student. He had to take a French class for some odd reason. The professor gave an assignment: a book review of a classic in French literature.

My classmate chose "The Hunchback of Notre Dame."  The reason:  he had a collection of Classic Illustrated Comics and "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" was in his collection. So, he reviewed the comic book. He also had to include a biographical essay on the author.  He copied the biography, from the comic book, word for word.  He made an A with a "great job" notation from the professor.

He has had a successful career as a physician.  Currently, he is a professor at a medical school associated with a large state university. He did it all without Cliffs Notes.  I think. 

 

*It should actually be "Cliff's Notes" because they were notes from Clifton Hillgass, a great American.

 

 

Things Have Changed

 

 

As you get older, you realize things change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

We used to go out without our phones. There were two reasons for this. One, the phones were attached to our houses. Two, they had "pay" phones in which you could drop a dime (hence the lyric from "Operator": "you can keep the time") or, later, a quarter (from the Travis Tritt song, "Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who cares.")*

Now, we make sure our phones are with us all of the time, and we are naked without them. 

I took my wife to an appointment and accidentally left my cell phone in the car.  I had to wait for a WHOLE 15 MINUTES without something to look at.  I don't know how I survived.

I thought about how things had changed when I watched the confirmation hearings on Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. becoming the Secretary of Health and Human Services.

There used to be something magical about being a Kennedy.  They were part Beyonce, part Taylor Swift, and part Timothee Chalamet.  They were always the best and the brightest for reasons we just can't explain.

Of course, John Kennedy was the youngest President of the United States when it was cool to be young.Unfortunately, he was assassinated and succeeded by Lyndon Johnson, who, let's be historically honest, was ugly. 

History buffs remember that Kennedy's Attorney General was his brother, Robert. That could not happen today, although it would have been a hoot to have Billy Carter as Attorney General.  (Nobody under 60 understands the humor of this past sentence.)

Then, in 1968, which I contend is the year everything went to the septic tank, Robert ran for President and was assassinated, too.

You had this aura of sympathy for the family because of all the tragedy, the glitz, and the glamour.

Shoot, a Kennedy could drive a car off a bridge, leave a girl (who was not his wife) in the car to drown, and still run for President.  You can't buy that type of magic.

However, history has caught up with the Kennedys.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. was carrying the torch by being an attorney, of course.  He made a pretty good living suing companies over something called torts**. According to a major legal scholar, Wikipedia, a tort is a "civil wrong that causes a claimant to suffer loss or harm, resulting in legal liability for the person who commits the tortious act."  

What distinguished Kennedy from all of the other lawyers, besides his last name, was he spoke out against Big Pharma and vaccines.

For years, he said vaccines caused autism. Apparently, this is not true, and apparently, he doesn't care.  He has said he wants improved science and information so people can make informed decisions.  Which means he doesn't want people to listen to a physician about a vaccine, but rather, listen to a lawyer.

I've been hearing about the evils of vaccines for years because we have a chiropractic college in Marietta and knew a lot of students who said vaccines were terrible. I also listened to the Imus in The Morning radio show, and he used to say vaccines caused autism. 

But still, as for me and my family, we chose to listen to physicians instead of chiropractic students and disc jockeys.  I know, I'm a chump.

Kennedy has been saying all of this for years.  I never heard one word. Nary a peep. Not a grunt from our friends on the left bank of politics. 

 But things have changed. One of the marvelous, wonderful, perfect Kennedys has aligned himself with one of the true all-time icks of the world, Orange Hitler himself, Donald Trump.

Kennedy endorsed Trump, and as payback, Trump nominated Kennedy to be Secretary of Health And Human Services.

Suddenly, Kennedy became enemy number one of the Democrats.

Last week, his cousin Caroline Schlossberg, the only living child of John Kennedy, said, "I have known Bobby my whole life; we grew up together. It's no surprise that he keeps birds of prey as pets because he himself is a predator."

 It is well known that RFK, Jr. likes the ladies, and he had a well-known sex-texting affair with a young reporter last year.   All I can say is that it is a family tradition.

At his confirmation hearings, the Democrats followed the tried and true method of yelling at people they disagree with, especially about things that seem odd.

Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont noted "The gist of what you are trying to say today is you're really pro-vaccine, you just want to ask questions," Sanders said. "Yet your organization is making money selling a child's product that casts fundamental doubt on the usefulness of vaccines."

The onesies have anti-vaxx slogans like "Unvaxxed and Unafraid" and "Get you dirty paws off of me you dirty ape". ***

Elizabeth Warren wanted Kennedy to promise he wouldn't sue a pharmacy company for five years after he left office.  That's his jam, Liz.

I've never seen a Democrat treated in such a way  years.  It was like he was almost a Republican, which he is not. Or a conservative, which he is not.

He's just on another team.  Things have changed.

 

 

* Travis Tritt is from my hometown of Marietta, Georgia and went to Sprayberry High School. Fun fact: "Remember The Titans" was filmed at their football field. 

** The Torts was the name of Travis Tritt's band in high school.   Just kidding, Travis.

*** Just kidding again. Although, that would look good on a onesie.