Down South In New Orleans

 

 The wife and I took a quick trip to New Orleans for several reasons.

One was I hadn't been to "Nawlins" (checking the calendar) in forty-two years.  Ronald Reagan was in his first term. I flew down to New Orleans on Eastern Air Lines. Unfortunately, Eastern Air Lines went out of business in 1991.

Another is I promised my wife I would one day take her to New Orleans to go to The Cafe du Monde. The Cafe du Monde is a little place where they serve fried dough topped (and I mean TOPPED) with powdered sugar. 

The fried dough is called a beignet (pronounced "Ben YAY"), and it is served with chickory coffee which is strong, but it supposedly has health benefits like growing hair on your chest.

Here is a quick review of my trip.

TSA:  The TSA recommends you arrive at the airport at least two hours before your flight. Unless, of course, you live in Atlanta. If you live in Atlanta, you should arrive at the airport two weeks before your flight.

Do You Still Have To Take Off Your Belt?  Yes. 

How About Your Shows?  Yes.

Bra?  Depends if you are carrying a concealed weapon.

Airlines:  We took Delta, which as an Atlanta area resident, we are obligated to fly, just like we are compelled to drink Coke products because we feel, in our hearts, that the Lord is leading us to do this.

We sat in Delta Comfort. Delta Comfort is better than the regular seats, but not as good as First Class. They got mixed drinks for the flight in First Class. Since New Orleans is not over 500 miles from Atlanta, Delta now has a "rule" they don't serve anything besides coffee, hot tea, and water to non-First Class passengers. Speaking objectively, understanding the business pressures that face a major airline like Delta, I can honestly say this totally sucks.

 

Hotel:   We stayed at The Four Points by Sheraton owned by Marriott Hotel. It is on the corner of Bourbon Street and Toulouse Street. As the song says, "I want to get too loose on Toulouse Street".  You can't get more French Quarter than this hotel. It is a very nice hotel with a good breakfast.

The hotel has good security, so you don't have to worry about the riff-raff coming in and informing you, for money, that they without a shadow of a doubt, can tell you where you got them shoes.

Our room was on the courtyard side of the hotel, which means you could almost, maybe, if you tried with the hotel-supplied ear plugs, block out the Bourbon Street partiers. But hey, you knew what you getting into when you booked the room.

Public Nekkidness: As everyone knows, New Orleans has a tradition where women obtain beads by lifting up their shirts, exposing their bosoms, and going "Woooooooooo." However, it is not known if they get beads without the "Woo".

We did not see any of this behavior, per se. Instead, we saw a young lady bend over to pick up a bead and, in my wife's words, "flopped out."

We also saw a man in his 60s to 70s, wearing only thong underwear, shaking what he thought was his money maker. He made no money and was terrible for the Bourbon Street bars and restaurants business. They soon ran him off because nobody wants to see that.

But, all in all, I'm happy to report that a vast majority of people kept their clothes on

Other Events: We saw a couple of impromptu parades with guys on stilts, which was very brave because Bourbon Street is pothole city. Somebody in one of the parades threw me a bead, and I gave it to my wife even though neither of us lifted up our shirts and went "woooooo."

That's our story, and I'm sticking to it.

There were a lot of young children banging on plastic Home Depot buckets for money. That struck me as sad.

There was a young African-American man standing on top of a pick-up truck singing Tim McGraw songs better than Tim McGraw.  I really hope he becomes famous.

 

Jackson Square:  For me, Jackson Square is my favorite part of New Orleans.  It is well kept and lots of shade, which is important because New Orleans can get swampy.  The statue of Andrew Jackson, who is in the top five of crazy Presidents, is in front of The St. Louis Cathedral is just a neat landmark.

Cafe du Monde:  Across from Jackson Square. My wife and I ate fried dough in the world's most corrupt city.  It was marvelous. Simply marvelous.

World War II Museum:  Back in the late 90s, a University of New Orleans history professor wrote what in the history biz are called "popular histories" (ie: history books that make money).  His name was Stephen Ambrose and he got the World War II Museum built in New Orleans. If you knew anybody that served in World War II, you need to see this museum. It is a gem.

Paul Simon called New Orleans "the city of my dreams". I don't know about that, but it is a good place to visit with good food. Just keep your shirt pulled down, missy.

The Golden Bachelor

 

This was the first sentence of a story in Variety.

"After years and years of teasing it would happen, ABC has finally given the green light to its long-awaited senior citizen season of 'The Bachelor'."

I like the use of the word "finally."  We've been waiting for so long, and the Lord heard our prayers, and no longer will we wander in the wilderness because the senior citizen version of "The Bachelor" is coming on.

In case you are one of the lucky few that has never watched "The Bachelor," it is a game show in which hot young women compete to win the affection of a hot young man.

The young man gives out roses, and at the end, he proposes marriage to one of the young ladies, even though they usually have nothing in common except mutual hots for each other, which is essential. Still, there's much more to marriage than passion.

Marriage is also about figuring out where to go on "date night", even though you got married so you wouldn't have to go out on dates again.

Then they came out with "The Bachelorette," in which (watch carefully)  a young lady would give out roses to her young suitors. Generally, they were hunky males in their late 20s that were brain surgeons, superheroes, or Ivy League-educated attorneys that volunteered at the weekend soup kitchen.

There was always one guy with a really good sense of humor, which women claim to like. I can tell you from personal experience that if you look like a gargoyle, you won't find many women that like your knock-knock jokes.

One part of "The Bachelorette" that I liked was the behind-the-scenes where the dudes all bad mouth each other by saying they're not here for the "right reasons." True love is the right reason, but guys get so competitive that one forgets about all that mushy stuff.
 
We here at Manis Manor use to watch the various "Bachelor" shows mainly to make fun of the people involved.  But after a while, we forgot about "The Bachelor" because it was the same old thing. 

"The Golden Bachelor" is going to be a bit different.

According to Variety, "ABC describes the new series as showcasing a “whole new kind of love story — one for the golden years.” The network’s synopsis says a 'hopeless romantic is given a second chance at love in the search for a partner with whom to share the sunset years of life. The women arriving at the mansion have a lifetime of experience, living through love, loss and laughter, hoping for a spark that ignites a future full of endless possibilities. In the end, will our Golden man turn the page to start a new chapter with the woman of his dreams?"

There's no word how old "Golden" is on the show show.  Will he be in his 60s? 70s? 80s?   If I know guys (and since I've been one all of my life), the Golden Bachelor may have snow on the roof, but he's got a fire in the living room, which means Grandpa wants someone much younger than himself. 

I'm sorry. I just report the news.

Here's a news flash:  his "second chance at love" translates into his brain as "next chance for nookie."

Variety also reports, "One of the big changes with an older lead would be the hometown dates, which could feature visits home to children instead of parents."  

Dad brings home Mom's replacement. Again, there's a warm and fuzzy family moment.

If I know millennial children as I do, they will be imagining Dad and his TV Gal Pal doing the South Carolina Lovey-Dovey as they look at her face trying to figure out how much plastic surgery she's had.

Love may be more comfortable the second time around, but I doubt it.

 

The Kennedy Reboot

 

 It was big news. Sort of.  President Grandpa has another opponent for the Democratic Party's Presidential nomination besides that space cadet lady.

The candidate has a pretty big name, especially in Democratic Party circles:  Kennedy.

That's right, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr has thrown his hat into the ring, and even though he has never held a political office, he has a respectable 14% of Democratic party voters saying he's their man.  Although, honestly, it is probably 14% of people that recognize his name.

In today's cynical climate, you would not believe the adoration the Kennedy name evoked.  In the 60s and 70s, they were the Royal Family of The USA.

John Kennedy became President after Dwight Eisenhower. Although Eisenhower saved Western Civilization, he was old and bald.  Kennedy was young with hair.

This was a big deal in the early '60s. Kennedy didn't wear a hat because he had hair a hat would mess up. The hat industry hasn't been the same since. That's Presidential power.

Oh sure, there were tensions with Russia. We later learned he liked to fool around on Jackie. He didn't write the book he won the Pulitzer Prize for. But all in all, everybody liked good old JFK.

Then came Dallas.

His assassination by Lee Harvey Oswald/The CIA/Lyndon Johnson/The FBI/Ted Cruz's Dad/500 others capitulated Kennedy into America Superstar unseen since Lincoln was assassinated

People wrote songs about him.

"Anybody here....seen my old friend John?
  Can you tell me where he's gone?
  He freed a lot of people
  but it seems the good they die young."

John Kennedy had a brother, Robert F. Kennedy, Sr, ("Bobby") who was Kennedy's most trusted advisor and Attorney General.

Lyndon Johnson became President upon the death of President Kennedy. This was a problem because Johnson was, historically speaking, a very homely man.  He had big ears and a big nose. He didn't have a lot of hair. What hair he had, he slicked back with a Vitalis sixty-second workout   Robert Kennedy hated him.

There was a war going on back then. It was called The Vietnam War. You may have heard about it. It was in all the papers.

Johnson decided not to run for re-election in 1968 so Bobby Kennedy jumped in the race.  It looked like he was going to win the Democratic party's nomination for President. But, and stop me if you heard it, Bobby was shot and killed, too.

Next in line for the Kennedys was the youngest brother, Edward ("Teddy") Kennedy.  However, Teddy drove a car off a bridge into a tidal pond. Teddy got out of the car and swam to safety. Unfortunately, a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne was trapped in the car and drowned. Teddy didn't inform the police until about 8 hours later because he forgot.

That happened in 1969 and Teddy did not run for President until 1980, when he ran against President Jimmy Carter.  

The Kennedy Magic was pretty much spent by then and Teddy could not beat President Jimmy even though you had high inflation, unemployment, and 44 hostages in Iran.

Here we are, forty years later, and Robert Kennedy, Jr. has decided to run against President Pea-paw for the Democratic nomination.

Kennedy is for, per his website, "Honest Government".*  

He says, "A democratic government is supposed to be of, by, and for the people. But government institutions have betrayed our trust. The intelligence agencies spy on our own people. Government and tech platforms conspire to surveil and censor the public. Regulatory agencies have been captured by those they are supposed to regulate: Wall Street controls the SEC. Polluters and extractive industries dominate the EPA and BLM. Pharma controls the CDC, NIH, and FDA. Big Ag controls the USDA. Big Tech has captured the FTC. No wonder trust in government is at all-time lows. It’s time to earn it back."

He wants to "Heal The Divide." His website states, "Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has clear positions on most of today’s divisive trigger issues like abortion, guns, and immigration, but he knows that both sides have legitimate concerns and legitimate moral positions."    

Sounds good, right?

Also, and this is totally irrelevant, Kennedy is married to Cheryl Hines who plays Larry David's ex-wife in "Curb Your Enthusiasm".  In the eyes of this political commentator, she's pretty cute.

Well, he's got a couple of problems.

One, while he is younger than Biden, he's no spring chicken. He's sixty-nine years old.  The younger Gen Z-ish Democrats won't trade-in one Boomer for another.

Two, he anti-vax.

During the bad old days of Covid, we had daily arguments about the Covid vaccine. It was produced rather rapidly, and when it was introduced, Trump was still President, so you had Democrats saying they were scared of taking a "jab".   

Then Biden became President, and you had Democrats loudly proclaiming they were for the vaccine, science, and supported the President's effort to make taking the vaccine a condition of your employment, even if you didn't work in health care and it made you grow another ear.

But Kennedy has been consistent. He doesn't like any vaccines, including the ones babies get, because he says it causes autism. 

Still, this gives him a cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs image and this doesn't fit within the current framework of the Democratic Party primary voters half of which confuse Bobby Kennedy with Bobby Brady.

While there are a lot of people who would like a Camelot reboot, this seems like a reboot Hollywood trots which has Pete Davidson playing Indiana Jones.  It seems like a good idea at the time, but that time has gone.

 

 

*Just once I would love to see a politician claim to be in favor of "Dishonest Government".  "More Money For Me" could be his campaign slogan.