2023: A Swift Year

 

 

We stand at the precipice of another year and look back at 2023, a year best described as the Aaron Rodgers of years.   It goes out on the field, with great hoopla, and falls over after four plays with a knee injury which doctors describe as "really bad", especially for a four-hundred-year old quarterback.

It was the type of year that Time magazine, pronounced Taylor Swift the "Person Of The Year."  (Not to be outdone, Sports Illustrated deemed Deion Sanders, coach of the University of Colorado Buffaloes, as "Sportsman Of The Year" for winning four whole games.)

Prompting Swift's "Person Of The Year" selection was her concert tour, which sold a billion tickets despite her look as a skinny pale girl that trowels on a ton of red lipstick.

Time Magazine said, "Swift’s accomplishments as an artist—culturally, critically, and commercially—are so legion that to recount them seems almost beside the point so shut up, nobody cares about your Boomer music anymore. As a pop star, she sits in rarefied company, alongside Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Boxcar Willie; as a songwriter, she has been compared to Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney, Joni Mitchell, and Ray Stevens whose song  'The Streak' still cracks us up." *

President Biden finished the year with a 39 percent approval rating-up from 37 percent in November.  Things are looking up for President Joe who is a vigorous man that sometimes can even remember he lives.

This following is the truth.  When a nut attacked a private school in Nashville, the whole country waited for our kind, elderly, fatherly President to console a nation,which he did by explaining how much he likes ice cream.

Why is President Biden so unpopular?  I don't know, a seven-dollar bag of Doritos?

This is how bad it is for President Biden. His polling shows he is trailing former President Trump, a man who is such a threat to democracy that he must be kept off the ballot in Colorado.

President Trump is running against several others for the Republican party's nomination. His opponents are (I've included the Trumpster's reaction) Ron DeSantis (We don't like his shoes), Nikki Haley (A southern fried Hillary Clinton), Chris Christie (Boy, is he fat), and something called "Vivek."

Nobody has been able to get any traction on Trump because he is being indicted almost weekly, which has caused the opposite of the intended effect by making Trump more popular.  Trump is a parking ticket away from winning a landslide victory.

For the tenth year in a row, I didn't see won the movie that won The Academy Award for Best Picture. However, I did see the TV show "Suits," and it introduced me to something called "Mudding," in which a person lays in a tub of mud.

Bud Light made the worst marketing decision in years when it reached out to an "influencer" who is a male but whose pronoun is Audrey Hepburn.

The Kansas City Chiefs won their second Super Bowl behind the leadership of quarterback Taylor Swift, who is dating the "tight end" Travis Kelce, who has a brother who plays on the Philadelphia Eagles.  Things are complicated in the NFL.

The Atlanta Braves had the best team in baseball, but they didn't make it to the World Series because that's what Atlanta teams do, but hey they won The World Series two years ago.  Shohei Ohtani signed with the Dodgers for 14 Kabillion Gazllion Dollars.

Elon Musk, who bought Twitter in 2022, changed the name of Twitter to "X Used To Be Known As Twitter".

The worst thing that happened in 2023 was the Hamas attack on Israel, which killed 1200 Israelis in one day. The second worst thing is our best and the brightest young people who attend our best and brightest colleges became big Hamas fans. But don't worry. The administration of these schools will protect Jewish students.  Hahahahahahahaha. I kid, I kid. First senior leadership at all of the fine institutions must investigate the context in which the antisemitism took place.

The best thing that happened in 2023 was the arrival of Rowan Elliot Manis, my grandson. He is well on his way to becoming something I have never been: Tall.

 

* Okay, maybe I added some to this quote.

Yikes! College Football And The Best

 

 

 I haven't given my opinion on the selection of Alabama into the College Football Playoff for several reasons.

One, it really doesn't matter.  Really.  I could say Florida State, as does Liberty University, deserves to be in the playoffs. But I don't have a vote on the matter.

Two, if you are looking for a logical approach to determining "the best", College Football is the last place you should look.

 In the old days, they determined the best by two polls. One poll was from "the coaches," and the other was from sports reporters.  Heck, one year, Richard Nixon got involved, which Joe Paterno complained about until his dying day.

Then, they devised something called The Bowl Championship Series (BCS). I never quite figured out how they came upon their rankings, except it reminded me of a boiling cauldron surrounded by witches.

 One year, Alabama won "The National Championship"  when they didn't even win their conference or even their division in the conference.

The brilliant minds then came up with the College Football Playoff system, which seems to works better than the BCS, but then again, fly swatters work better than the BCS.

Here's what happened.  Michigan, which beat the might Punters of The University of Iowa last Saturday, is the number one seed, despite cheating just a tiny bit.  The second seed went to the University of Washington (or "Warshington" as Lee Coroso calls it).  

The third seed went to The University of Texas, who lost to Oklahoma. The fourth seed went to The University of Alabama who lost to Texas in September.

Left out was Florida State University who didn't lose to anybody and the back-to-back champion Georgia Bulldogs who lost to Alabama on Saturday.

Bama lost at home to Texas by ten points.  Texas lost to Oklahoma by four points.  Georgia lost to Bama by three points and got booted out of the playoff.

Again, Florida State did not lose a game.

However, they did lose their first and second string quarterbacks and beat Louisville which wasn't as impressive as Bama beating Georgia.

It broke my heart that Georgia was given the gate and hear the laughter from the Georgia Tech side of the river.  "Ha, Ha! You lost and we have more astronaut alumni than you do."  But what are you going to do?

Georgia could have made it simple and you know, beat Alabama, But that didn't happen and so their fate was left in the hands of others. Still, what Georgia has done in the past three seasons ain't chicken feed. 

Florida State makes a compelling case that winning their conference is just as important as beating Georgia. It is just not as important as beating Louisville with a third string quarterback.

The Playoff Selection Committee was commissioned to find the four best teams.  They found them. I can see any one of those selected winning the CFP.  I'm sorry, I just don't see Florida State beating any one of those teams.

So, College Football got it right, but just did it in their typical clumsy, ham-handed way.  Next year, there will be a 12 team playoff. Florida State just picked the wrong year to become FLORIDA STATE again.

 

Venite Adoremus

 

 

Due to several factors, I have to call the "provider line" of several different insurance companies.  It is the glorious result of a misspent youth.

Most of you know that means I am talking to someone in another country.  You would not believe how difficult the name "Alan" is to explain to someone overseas.

But these folks can do something I can't: they can speak another language besides their native tongue.  

Sure, sometimes the hiring process for some is one question: Can you speak English? (Answer: "Huh".  Boss Man: "Close enough.")  But for the most part,  the people at the other end of the phone can speak English as well as I can.

Like most Americans, I took a foreign language in high school for one reason.  You had to take two years of a language to graduate.

In ninth grade, I took French, which my performance could best describe as a garbage fire in a train wreck during a fecal storm.  

So when tenth grade somehow came, I decided to switch horses in midstream, which had always been my go-to academic strategy.

I decided to take Latin.

There's a little poem about Latin that every student should know before taking Latin.

"Latin is a language
  dead as can be.
  First, it killed the Romans
  and now it's killing me."

In French, you had to speak all the time, and the teacher thought I didn't know how to pronounce words correctly, so she stared at me, which made me nervous.

You didn't have that in Latin because nobody was walking around asking you where the library was in Rome.  That was a big plus for me.

 I mainly took Latin because it would make me look smart.  I already had some of the components of the "smart look": acne, thick glasses, unruly hair, and bad breath.

I soon discovered that more to looking smart than carrying around a Latin book. You actually had to be smart. Which meant you had to open your book and study.  As we said back then: Gah.

My years in Latin at good old Wheeler High School were not a plane crash like my year in French, but it wasn't great either.

But it would surprise you that I made two "B"s in Latin.  

In Latin I, my teacher, Mrs. Altenbach, died in the middle of Spring quarter.  Mrs. Altenbach was nice, even though she gave me detention for saying "Snot" in class. ( I should have said "Snoti, snotum, snotus").  When I came in to do my detention, she had forgotten about it and said I was a sweet young man. Those were the last words she ever said to me.

Her supply teacher gave me a B for that quarter. I entered 11th grade, thinking I could be smart even though every math I ever took was called "Math."

My teacher in Latin II was named Noel Jenks. I think she was born on Christmas Day. I also heard she made 1600 on the SATs, so she had some candle power.

I remember Mrs Jenks being a very pleasant person despite having red hair.  She had a class of all these high achievers. Then there was me.

I'm sure I was the "less gifted" person in her class.  All I wanted was to pass and never take another language again.  (Surprise, Surprise: You must take a language class to get a history degree. Really.)

However, in the winter quarter of 1976, I made another B in Latin.  I'm still trying to figure out how or why.

As they say in Latin, "Tempus Fugit"- time flies.  I made it through Latin and went on with my life. My wife (who was in Latin I when I was in Latin II) and I ran into Mrs. Jenks several years ago. I reintroduced myself as her worst Latin student ever.  She didn't disagree.

The other day, I was listening to the Classical Choral channel on Pandora because you have to fight for your right to party.

"Adeste Fideles" came on. I found myself singing "Ventie Adoremus" because it sounded so pretty, and I was saying it right.

I realized Latin explained things with fewer words than English.  "Adeste Fideles" is "O Come All Ye Faithful" in English.  "Ventie Adoremus" is "O Come let us adore him".

It just took over forty years, but I have a new appreciation for Latin. 

Thanks, Mrs. Jenks and Mrs. Altenbach.

Like It Or Lump It: A Bunch

 

 

One of my faults as a big-time blogger is that I will start a small project and then forget about it.

I intended to comment about songs I like this year, inspired by Bob Dylan's book The Philosophy of Modern Song, which did not have any philosophy and not a lot of "Modern Songs", come to think about it.  But it was a fun read, especially considering it was by Bob Dylan. It had many nifty pictures.

But as the year went on, I forgot about that project and started a new one: Like It Or Lump It, which is about shows that appear on various streaming services.

Again, time got in the way, so now I have to combine several mini Like It Or Lump Its.

The Morning Show.  (Apple)  "The Morning Show" is about two female hosts on a television network in a not-so-slight dig at The Today Show in 2017.  Reese Witherspoon plays a conservative journalist who doesn't believe anything conservative. She is brought in to flare her nostrils, which she does a lot.

Jennifer Aniston is the host of the morning show with Steve Carrell.  Carrell gets kicked off the show because of a zipper problem.  Aniston is like Katie Curic if Katie Curic has a 40 IQ.

Season One was all about the "Me Too" movement.  Season Two is about Covid. Season Three is about Don Draper coming in and trying to buy the network and become Jennifer Aniston's boyfriend.

Verdict:  "The Morning Show" should be a lot better, but it is often just a mess with a lot of F-words.   You can live without it. Lump it.

Bosch: Legacy. (Amazon Freevee)  One of the more successful streaming shows is "Bosch," which featured a tatted-up L.A. detective that solved crimes.  Think "Columbo," except with tattoos and sailor language.  

Bosch has quit the police force and works as a private investigator with Tom Cruise's first ex-wife. Bosch's daughter is now working on the L.A. police force. The actress that plays Kid Bosch has the acting ability of a tree stump.

Bosch works with a computer whiz who is cool because he listens to jazz and talks in that cool hipster way like they did in the later years of the Eisenhower administration.

Bosch worked as a show because they had a lot of different characters and it was fun to watch Bosch solve a crime.  Legacy doesn't work as well because they have Bosch interact with Tom Cruise's first ex-wife, who apparently hasn't laughed in fifteen years.

Verdict: I like it, but it is not as good as the original Bosch series. 

The Crown (Netflix).  We are in the final years of Queen Elizabeth's reign and are faced with one fact: she was a Queen for a very long time.

Of course, most of the time in this show's season deals with Diana and how unhappy she was being the wife of a jug ear royal.  Spoiler alert: this season, Diana has the car crash, and everybody but Queen Elizabeth is sad about it because, you know, stiff up lip, my boy, and all that jazz.

Queen Elizabeth doesn't do much except stand around.  The actress that plays Diana is really "purdy," as we say down here.

Verdict:  Like it but you have seen it before in real time.

Suits (Netflix).  One of the year's big surprises was "Suits" appearing on Netflix and people watching it because it was on The USA Network for eight years, and nobody ever heard of it.

Suits is about a pothead drug dealer named Mike who has a photographic memory.  That should be your first clue that this show is a fantasy.

This guy talks himself into an interview with a law firm that only hires graduates of the Harvard Law School because that way you can guarantee a diverse workforce.

Anyway (as we say down South), Mike is hired, and the lawyer that hired him (Harvey) become best friends because they can both quote movie lines.

Pretending to be a lawyer cleans up this kid's life, and he falls in love with Prince Harry's wife.  The problem is, well, pretending to be a lawyer is a crime, no matter how cute your girlfriend.

Pretty soon, just about everybody in the law firm knows Mike is a fraud, sort of like the way everybody knew Don Draper was a fraud. Mike trying to escape being found out is a large part of the action.  As is everybody cussing at each other. 

Believe it or not, the show is good.  There's a goofball lawyer character named Louis Litt who is hilarious and a red-headed admin named Donna who should have her own show.

The show is also educational because Louis does this thing called "Mudding," in which you lie in a tub of mud and relax.  I had never heard of that because in the South, "Mudding" means driving your truck through the mud. 

Verdict:  Like it.  It can be funny and the acting is TV good.  It is weird seeing Prince Harry's wife rolling around in bed, but you forget about it because she is so dog-gone cute.

 

Look At Him!

 

This is just a personal opinion, but I liked "Newhart" better than "The Bob Newhart Show".

When I was a kid, I didn't understand the appeal of Bob Newhart.  He would stammer and do lame jokes about telephones calls with Abraham Lincoln and stuff.  He wasn't like Jerry Lewis, The Three Stooges, Bill Cosby, Steve Martin, or Monty Python.

But when I grew up, I put away my childish things, sort of.  I still laughed at Bill Cosby but I began finding Bob Newhart funny.

In his first show, Newhart played a psychologist who shared an admin with the dentist down the hall. His wife was Suzanne Pleshette who put the Hubba in Hubba-Hubba, at least for me, and I still stand by that today.

In the second show Newhart was the owner of a Bed And Breakfast in Vermont.  It took a little while for the show to get going, but when it did, it was very funny show.  Just ask Larry, his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl about that.  

Somehow, Newhart gets talked into hosting a talk show called "Vermont Today" and it was supposed to be a serious show for serious people.  Of course, that never happened.  In one episode, the president of the University of Vermont was supposed to be on the show. Instead, they got "The World's Smallest Horse".

When the owner of the horse and "Tiny" (the horse's name) appeared on the show, Newhart asked the owner how he knew the horse was the smallest in the world. 

The owner's answer:  "Look at him!"

To me that answers some of our current political questions.

 

Is Biden too old to be President?

Look at him. Does he seem like a man that can out work a forty-five year old man like Mike Barnicle just recently said?  No, that's just baloney, to be nice about it. The job was not designed for an 80 year old.

I'll let Charles C.W. Cooke explain it.

"Joe Biden is too old to be president. He’s too old to be president now, he’s too old to be president next year, he’s too old to be president in 2025. He’d be too old at his next inauguration, he’d be too old by the next set of midterms, he’d be too old when his second term wrapped up. He’s not vigorous or eloquent or diplomatic; he’s a rambling, angry, senile embarrassment. He can’t do the job at home, and he can’t do the job abroad. He can’t think, he can’t manage, he can’t talk. His judgment has always been poor, and he’s always been a terrible and dishonest person, and these flaws have been exacerbated by his age."

 

Isn't Trump too old to become President too?

Look at him.  He is in his late 70s and he has been losing a zip on his fastball. But he is seems way younger that Biden.   That's because Trump is a big baby.  Of course, he challenged losing the 2020 election. He was complaining that the Emmy Awards were "rigged" against him. Yet, what Cooke says about Biden holds true for Trump. "His judgment has always been poor and he's always been a terrible and dishonest person and this flaws have been exacerbated by his age."   This leads us to our next question...

Is Trump Fit To Be President?

He's done it before, so physically, he is fit.  He's just not emotionally fit to be President. You can run a private firm and make millions and act like Trump.  The problem is the country is not a privately held firm and you just can't hector people into falling in line. On top of that, he's a baboon.

 

What about Kennedy?

Look at him. This is not your grandpa's Kennedy.  He sort of looks like his dad and he has a pretty wife. But he has a lot of goofy ideas about childhood vaccines. Truth be told, a lot of people want to vote him because they think it would be cool to vote for a Kennedy.

 

Is Gavin Newsome running for President?

Look at him.  Of course he is, either in 2024 or 2028.  When he looks in the mirror, he doesn't see a failed governor of a state heading downhill fast.  He sees the next President of the United States. He thinks he can unite this divided land.  After all, he got Kimberly Guilfoyle to marry him.  

In the "Newhart" episode I mentioned, the show breaks down when a caller said "Tiny" was not the smallest horse in the world.  One thing led to another and various people who brought their in horses to "Vermont Today" including a woman that brought in her basset hound that wore a saddle, in an effort to win "The Smallest Horse" contest. That still cracks me up.

In that way, the 2024 election promises to be a circus. All these saddled basset hounds that think they are a horse.

 

 

 

 

This Week's Picks-Week Eleven

 

 

 

Jawja vs Ole Mess:    The second game in Georgia's Games Of Trials is Ole Miss, who has a pretty good team, but they almost lost to Texas A & M. The Bulldogs are better than the Aggies. Like I said, I can't see UGA winning all of their games this year, but they'll win this one. UGA wins.

 

Bumbles vs. Tyler From Spartanburg's Favorite Team:  Georgia Tech has won TWO games in a row. They play a down Clemson team that rallied to show that know-it-all kid on the radio that Dabo knows what's what. ("Dabo's What's What" is the name of a popular bar band in Clemson.)  I don't think Tech will win, but with Clemson, you never know. Clemson wins.

 

Khaki Cheaters  vs. The Lions Of Nittany:  The only thing Michigan has done this year is to win all of their games.  Oh yes, they have been cheating. Something about signs. So far, the NCAA, Big 10 Conference, The FBI, and The Super Friends all seem reluctant to investigate   For some reason, Penn State doesn't show up in their big games. Michigan wins.

 

Kenyucky vs Bama:  Look, even though they have lost one game, Bama looks like Bama. I feel like Alabama could win the College Football Championship, if things work out for them.   Bama wins.

 

Rocky Topped vs Moosouri:  Next week, Tennessee is Georgia's foe but first, they have to play Missouri. We found out last week, Missouri isn't easy. In fact, a play here and there and Missouri could have won that game. I'm tempted to pick Missouri, but they'll try to do something cute. Tennessee wins. 

 

My Beloved Owls vs Virginia University of Lynchburg.   The Kennesaw State Annus Horribilis finally ends with this game against Virginia University of Lynchburg. Actually, things weren't that bad, quoting the Marietta Daily Journal: "In their six losses, the Owls have lost by a combined total of 33 points, and in only one game did they lose by double digits — a 17-7 loss to Tennessee Tech on Sept. 23." Considering their injuries and having a new offensive co-ordinator, it could have been worse as my old Great Grand Pappy Jebediah Manis would say.  Owls win.

 

 

This Week's Picks- Week Ten

 

William Christopher Swinney, better known as "Dabo" is the head coach of the Clemson Tigers. 

One of his duties as head coach is to take calls from fans on his weekly radio show called "Dabbin' With Dabo".  Check that, the show is called "Tiger Calls".  You can imagine the thrill a Clemson Tiger fan would have asking Coach Dabo a question and then hanging up to listen to the answer. (It must be like the time Jimmy Fallon responded to a tweet I sent him.  Sort of.)

Well, this past week's show did not have the same heiney smooching call that most Deep South football coach's radio shows have.  Oh no, Tyler from Spartanburg  is not your average caller.

He asked Coach Dabo why Clemson was paying Coach Dabo millions of dollars to have a 4-4 record. That's pretty good scratch.  

Coach Dabo answered that fans like Tyler from Spartanburg are "part of the problem" whatever that means. I don't remember a Tyler from Spartanburg on the Clemson roster.

He also said Tyler could apply for the job of Head Coach.  Okay.

Coach Dabo said, “To answer your question, I started as the lowest-paid coach in this frickin’ business,” Swinney said. “And I’m where I am because I’ve worked my ass off every single day. And I ain’t gonna let some smart-ass kid get on this phone and create this stuff. So if you’ve got a problem with it, I don’t care, all right?”

Coach Dabo has a point. Clemson has won two National Championships in the past ten years and this is just an off year.  

Vince Dooley had off years. It happens

I'm not so sure I would criticize a man on his own radio call in show. Do it on another show. 

But still, when you make big money, you make yourself a big target. Tyler is the type of fan that wants to know what have done lately.  Clemson has just had 12 ten win seasons in a row. 

You can't win with guys like that.

Since Dabo is from the Deep South, he ought to remember that old saying, "Never wrestle with a pig because you both get muddy and the pig likes it."

This Week's Picks!

 

 

Jawja vs Moosori:    Missouri is the second game of the rougher schedule for Georgia-another team that possibly, maybe, could beat Georgia. And Mizzou seems to always play Georgia tight. While I'm not convinced Georgia will win every game this year, I think they'll win this one. UGA wins.

Bumbles vs. Viginny:  Tech had no business defeating North Carolina last week. But they did, and optimism abounds down on the flats. Shoot, I haven't heard one word about all of the astronauts Tech has graduated. Anyway, while Virginia beat North Carolina too, I don't think they are as good as Tech. Tech wins.

 

Aggies vs Ole Mess:  Jimbo has another so-so team. Ole Miss can make a go at the West title if things break the right way.  In the end they won't. Ole Miss wins

Elessyou vs Bama   The showdown in the West between LSU and Bama. These are always good games.  Both schools have rabid (i.e.: insane) fan bases. Both schools have good teams.  Alabama has slowly been getting better with each game this year.  Nick had two weeks to plan. That should be enough time.  Bama wins.

Prime vs Beavers:   The cracks are being to show with the grand Deion experiment.  He doesn't have a defense and blames the offensive line for everything.  But, he's interesting. Oregon State wins.

 

My Beloved Owls vs Sam Houston. Ten years ago, the idea of Owls football was just a dream. Saturday, they play their 100th game. This year hasn't been that great for the Owls. Two wins over smaller schools.  This Saturday sees The Owls play Sam Houston State University, which hasn't won a game all year, but they've played a tougher schedule.  Dan Rather is an alumnus of Sam Houston. No, the name of the  school was never the Sam Houston Institute of Technology.  Sam Houston wins.

 

 

This Week's Picks- Week Nine

 

 

Jawja vs Reptiles:    Yes, it is that time of year again when Georgia and Florida gather to see who can drink the most booze in a day. Florida would love to beat Georgia because Georgia loves to beat Florida. I don't think Georgia will win all of their games this season. But this is a game they will win. UGA wins.

 

 

 

Bumbles vs. Heels Of Tar:  You remember at the beginning of the season when we all thought that Georgia Tech would almost be pretty good, sort of? Yeah, good times. Tech lost last week, at home, to a meh Boston College team. They play North Carolina this week, which lost their first game last week. Knowing Tech, they will either beat North Carolina like a rug or lose to them because they are Georgia Tech, and that's what they do. North Carolina wins

 
Quacks vs The Utes Yutes.  I keep forgetting that there was a time when Bo Nix wasn't playing college football.  Oh well, I tend to think Oregon is better than Utah.  Oregon wins.

Ahia State vs The Dairy State.   The battle of the beefy midwesterners.  Ohio State is, again, one of the better teams in college football despite having to live and play in Ohio. Wisconsin has a 5-2 record but only one conference loss.  Maybe Wisconsin challenge Ohio State  to a Chicken Dance-off.  They could win that. The football game?  Nah. Ohio State wins. 

 

Prime vs The Another One Of Those LA teams:  The great Neon Deion Prime Time experiment has a 4-3 record. While Coach Prime is a personality-plus kind of guy (just watch his Aflac commercials where he out-acts Nick Saban) we need to remember he's still kind of new to the head coaching game.  In any event, Colorado is better than last year and they should beat UCLA.  Colorado wins.

My Beloved Owls vs Lincoln University.  Lincoln University is a college in California that "has placed its focus on practical down-to-earth education with strong international character." Langston Hughes and Thurgood Marshall are alumni.  Owls win.

 

Nashville

 

 

We took a little trip last week.

Our niece got married in Nashville, Tennessee, of all places.

Long story short, she went to Nashville to dance ballet and eventually got a degree from Belmont University and a job with the Nashville Predators hockey team. She met a fine young man from the Cincinnati area. They decided to get married in Nashville.

This meant we had to travel to Nashville from Marietta, which used to be a three-hour drive.

However, you must go through Chattanooga on Interstate 24, which has been in a perpetual state of highway construction since the Nixon administration.

When you leave the Metro Chattanooga area, you go up a hill for about 400 miles.  There was a wreck on I-24 this trip, which turned our three-hour drive into a six-hour drive. 

Add to this, I drank an extra large cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts before we left, which meant I had to go to the bathroom every thirty minutes.

On top of that, Nashville has apparently ordered some Metro Atlanta drivers because cars swerve in and out of lanes without using a device known as a turn signal, which I understand is standard equipment on all cars. Why would I want to know that you are changing lanes?

Driving on the Nashville surface streets was no picnic either. Like Atlanta, there are some Nashville drivers that see STOP signs as a suggestions.

Before you go, be aware streets in and around downtown Nashville have some of the longest names ever in the history of streets. ( I took History of Streets when I was in college. I made a B.) You would see a street name like "Dr. Rev. Horace B Hawgwollop, Jr. Blvd."  Back home in Atlanta,  it would be known as "Hawgwollop Blvd" or "Peachtree Street".

We had some time before the wedding, so we went to The Johnny Cash Museum, across the street from The Florida-Georgia Line Bar, next to the Kid Rock Bar. Both bars were open at 11:00 in the morning, blasting out that good old fashioned genre of country music known as "Hard Rock".

As far as the museum goes, if you like Johnny Cash, you will love the museum.  You see his guitars, awards, an honorary doctorate from Gardner-Webb College, and album covers, including "Hey Look At Them Beans." (This was during the time of his career when he recorded anything that was put in front of him. But on the plus side, the song "Hey Look At Them Beans" was written by Joe Tex. You can't get that information in any other blog)

I never had the pleasure of meeting Johnny Cash, but I know a guy who did-at J.C. Penny's in Cumberland Mall. Back in the old days, Malls were a happening place in Cobb County and Cumberland was our only one. J.C.Penny had a home and garden department and this guy worked there. John R. (His real name) came in and bought a plant. Honest. And no, he didn't say, "Hello, I'm Johnny Cash and I want to buy this plant". I wish he had.

The wedding was held at a church that meets in a concert venue.  It was a great wedding: short and sweet.  The food was good.  The groom didn't want a groom's cake, so he had ice cream. I like that kid.

We came home the next day. The trip from Nashville took less time than the trip to Nashville. However, we had to make a stop.

At Buc-ee's.

I've written about Buc-ee's before, but it is a fantastic store.  First of all, the bathrooms are clean.

We had to stop at this gas station for relief during our many stops going to Nashville.  There was a sign in the bathroom room that read, "Let us know if this bathroom does not meet your expectations."  The problem was the bathroom was about what I expected.

A word of advice: never go to Buc-ee's on a Sunday afternoon. The place was an absolute zoo. A zoo that sells BBQ, but a zoo still the same.

Buc-ee's sells Coke Icees.  Not a Slurpee. An Icee. (What's the difference? Shut up.)

I'm almost Medicare age, but I love a Coke Icee. The problem is a Coke Icee machine in most stores is like a McDonald's ice cream machine: it rarely works. 

Buc-ee's had two working Coke Icee machines.

Armed with my Icee, I bought our supper: two BBQ brisket sandwiches.  The sandwiches were marvelous, and I don't use that word lightly.

We got home and I prayed a prayer of thanks to The Lord for giving us traveling mercies and for providing the bathrooms at Buc-ee's

This Week's Picks Week Eight

 

 

Jawja Is Off :   Georgia is off, but they did suffer a loss when Brock Bowers was injured last week against Vandy, of all people. Bowers had surgery Monday and will be out for the rest of the season or maybe until next week.  Next week is when Georgia plays Florida, which is always is always a big deal around these parts.

Bumbles vs. The College Of Boston:  I can't figure out this Bee team. They get stomped by Bowling Green, but they beat Miami (which was mainly the fault of Miami, but a win is a win). Tech has a 71 per-cent chance to beat a so-so Boston College team. That sounds good. Tech Wins.

 

Lions Of Nittany vs Ahia State.  Two teams that hate each other. Ohio State seems to translate that hate into wins.  Ohio State Wins.

 

Only Tenn I See vs Bamy.  Last year, Tennessee beat Alabama in Knoxville and it was the biggest thing to happen in Knoxville since the 1982 World's Fair.  (Fun fact: Mrs. Picks clogged at The 1982 Knoxville World's Fair.)  This year, Tennessee plays Alabama at Tuscaloosa and there will be fans there that hate Tennessee because they are a bunch of low down snitches. After last week's close call to the Bacon Bits of Arkansas, I'm pretty sure Saban will pull out the stops against Tennessee. Bama wins

 

 

 

Ole Mess vs War Tigers. Ole Miss is playing their old coach who is the new coach at Auburn. Ole Miss is better. Ole Miss wins

 

 

This Week's Picks Week Six

 

 

 

 

 Jawja vs. Kenyucky :  Georgia had another "struggle win" against Auburn. Hey, a win is a win. Georgia has another tough game against Kentucky. Kentucky beat Florida last week. Yes, I'm worried. Dawgs win. 

 

Bumbles vs. The U:  Tech was beat by Bowling Green last week. ESPN.com says, "While Bowling Green players celebrated a memorable win for their program, Georgia Tech coach Brent Key was left to seek answers for a loss — or explain why the game wasn't even close." Yup, it was that bad. Just when you thought The Wreck had turned a corner. Oh well, Tech has graduated more astronauts than Bowling Green. But the late great Tim Conway went to Bowling Green. This week doesn't look any better with Miami. Miami wins.

 

 Okie vs Texsass.  This game used to be a big deal. I think Texas is better. Longhorns win.

Swine vs Ole Mess.  Ole Miss beat LSU last week and now they play their other neighbor, Arkansas. The Future Bacons are a good team, but this isn't their week. Ole Miss wins.

 

 

 Not Ready For Prime Time.  Colorado didn't play that bad against USC.  I'm not a Deion does everything right guy, but he has a good team.   Colorado wins.

 

 

Beloved Owls vs Tenny State. Well, Kennesaw State lost, again, last week and dropped to a 1-3 record. They are playing Tennessee State.  They are coached by football great Eddie George. Oprah Winfrey is an alumnus, too. Their record is 2-2. Good luck, Owls.   Tennessee State wins

 

 

The Cardinal

 

 

 It was one year ago today, my buddy, Bill Wade, left us after a battle with pancreatic cancer.

"Battle" is a misnomer.  Nobody can really battle pancreatic cancer and win.

Bill learned he had cancer in late June. The doctor gave him three to six months.  Maybe a year, if he did chemotherapy and if the chemotherapy worked.

He did a month's worth of chemotherapy. It didn't work.  He told me it took him to "a dark place" and Bill went into hospice care. 

He died three months after his diagnosis.

My wife and I visited him three weeks before his death.

Of course, he was frail. The man who once rode his bicycle across Missouri couldn't walk across the room without losing his breath.

He was in pain. It was hard for him to stay seated.

But in typical Bill Wade fashion, he took chicken feed and made chicken salad.

He said he had enough time to get affairs in order and to plan his Celebration of Life service. His Celebration of Life service featured five of the ministers he mentored or worked with, the chief of police of Bowling Green, Kentucky (Bill was a Chaplain for the police force), and his goofy little friend from Georgia.

He also said he had time to say goodbye. A lot of people don't get that chance.

He told Lori and I that he loved us. We knew.

There's an old wives tale about cardinals. If you think about a departed loved one, you will soon see a cardinal. 

In something called "Wiki-How", it explains about cardinals

 

"With their brilliant red wings and hopeful song, cardinals are believed to be spiritual messengers between the physical world and the great beyond. They might be a sign from your loved one to remind you that they’re near, they love you, and they will always be by your side.

• A cardinal can also be your loved one’s way of comforting you through your grief and reminding you that you are not alone.
• Your loved one might send you a cardinal to give you hope and encouragement to keep moving forward.
• A cardinal doesn’t have to land on you to deliver its message from your loved ones. Simply seeing one in your yard is a reminder that they’re with you."

I can't tell you how many times I've gone out to get the mail or work in the yard, and I'll think of one of Bill's jokes or his parody songs (I remembered one today: he made up a song to Willie Nelson's "On The Road Again" called "On The Commode Again") and a cardinal will fly by.

But I don't need a cardinal to remind me of Bill.  I think about him when I see a train (he was a train fanatic) or a bag of M&Ms, or hear the Jimmy Buffett song "Life Is Just A Tire Swing". I am thankful he was a big part of my life and, now, a big part of my memory.

 

This Week's Picks Five

 

Jawja vs. The WarTigers.   This game used to be at the end of the SEC schedule, but now, it is in the old Tennessee slot. Auburn is having a better season, so far, than last year. The key words are "so far". They lost to Texas A&M last week. But, hey, they beat UMass. War Dang TigerEagle. UGA wins.

 

Bumbles vs. The Other Falcons: The Bees beat the Baptists last week, and all the world rejoiced! This week brings the Bowling Green school in Ohio (not Kentucky) to the Flats. Looky here: second week in a row Tech wins.

 

 llesyou vs Ole Mess.   The one time I pick Ole Miss to beat Alabama, they lost big time.  No more. LSU is a much better team that Ole Miss. LSU wins.

 

Trojan Men! vs. Not Ready For Prime Time.  Like I said before, I've always respected Deion Sanders's athletic ability because it is four hundred times more than mine. Additionally, his skill for self-promotion is unequaled, particularly among late middle-aged football coaches.  Still, it was kind of nice seeing Coach Sanders humbled by a team called "The Ducks".  Colorado is going to have another rough day. USC wins

 

Beloved Owls vs Charleston Southern.  Another Saturday, another loss for the Owls in the last year in FCS.  This week the Owls take on Charleston Southern which promises students "will learn to think broadly and deeply about ideas." Like the idea of them losing to Western Carolina University 77-21.  For you political junkies, Sen Tim Scott is an alumnus.  Owls win.

 

This Week's Picks-Week Four

 

There's a radio show on "The Georgia Bulldog Network" called "The Bulldog Brunch".   It broadcasts on the Sunday after the game and features  Jeff Dantzler and Kevin Butler. Butler was a kicker for Georgia in the early 80's and played for The Chicago Bears.

Mainly, the show is about the game the day before and what Jeff and Kevin are eating. They take phone calls in which Bulldog fans make statements (or "takes"  as they are called now) and then the Bulldog fans hang up so they can listen to Jeff and Kevin's comments.

Last week, one guy called. He was that guy. He's the Fan above all Fans and he eats, drinks, and sleeps Bulldogs. He's going to give his opinion to you if you want it our not.

I wish I could find a transcript of it because: A) The man never took a breath B) Didn't seem the least bit concerned if Jeff and Kevin was even listening.

I heard something about Coach Dooley, Coach Smart, and three-peat World Champions. Jeff had to tell him, "We gotta go" because the show was up against a hard break.  

The guy finished with a "go Dawgs", which I think is how he finishes his prayers.

 

This Week's Picks!

 

Jawja vs. The Drags:  Georgia started slow, as is their custom this year, before going ahead and beating South Carolina. The Dawgs are playing the University of Alabama at Birmingham (School Motto: "Just say you went to Alabama") Dragons, so yeah, the Dawgs should get another win. They will. Dawgs win.

 

Bumbles vs. Demonic Church Leaders.   The Bees were not that bad against Ole Miss, but they still lost. Wake Forest is 3-0, but they barley beat Old Dominion last week. Fun Fact: It is Family Weekend at Wake Forest ("Hey Mom and Dad-See What $75K Buys You!"). Oh what the heck:  Tech Wins.

 

Prime vs. The Quacks  People really take this Coach Neon Deion Prime Time All I Do Is Shine stuff seriously. I saw another funny college football guy calling the love Sanders is getting as "transactional": meaning they only like Deion because he wins. DUH. I thought it was understood from the get-go with college coaches. Nick Saban doesn't get statues built for him because of his sparkling personality. Anyway, I like what Sanders has done in Boulder, I just want to see him beat a ranked team before I jump on the Deion train.  Ducks win

 

 

The State of Florida vs. The Sons of Clem. FSU in this one. I just think they are better.  FSU wins

 

 

Ahia State vs Our Lady. Ohio State is always one of those teams that are ranked, just like Notre Dame, except Ohio State deserves it most of the time. This is only the third time in history that Ohio State has played Notre Dame under the eyes of Touchdown Jesus. Forgive me father, but I don't buy Notre Dame this year.  Ohio State wins.

 

 

 

 

 

Bamy vs Ole Mess.  The computers say Alabama has a 65 percent chance to win this game even though they can barely block or cover anybody. Generally, over the past 15 or so years I have deferred to Alabama because they have been such monsters. They aren't anymore. I'm not so sure about Ole Miss, either, but if there is one year they should win, this is it.   Ole Miss wins.

 

Beloved Owls vs. Tenn Tech:   Well, Kennesaw State is 1-2, losing a heart breaker to Furman. This week, they play Tennessee Tech. Another fun fact: a famous Tennessee Tech alumnus is Dottie West. Owls wins.

 

This Week's Picks - Week Three

 

It's a truncated This Week's Pick, uh, this week.

We had baby sitting duty and had to write this post without my usual witty prologue. I probably would have mentioned something about Alabama losing to Texas. 

Boo-Hoo.

Alabama has been a monster team for years and this year may not be their year. Or it might be. It was only the second game of the year.

This Week's Picks

Jawja vs. The Illegal Game Birds: Georgia finally plays some big boy teams. South Carolina laid an egg (look, I know they are not female chickens) against North Carolina. I wonder if they can hang with Georgia. They won't.  UGA wins.

 

 

Bumbles vs. Ole Mess.  Tech won one last week. They won't this week. Ole Miss wins

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prime vs Non-Prime.  So far, the most talked about team this year is Colorado because of Neon Deion Coach Prime Sanders. In the first two games, they showed they are for real.   Colorado wins

 

Ellessyou vs Upright Walking Bulldogs Of Stark Vegas. As we all know, LSU looked bad in their first game against FSU. Mississippi State has a pretty good quarterback. I just flipped a coin on this one. LSU wins.

 

 

Rocky Topped vs Reptiles. Back in the last century, the Florida-Tennessee game was a real big deal. So was Bill Clinton. Fast forward twenty some odd years and it looks like Tennessee is rising while nobody can be sure about Florida.   Tennessee wins

Beloved Owls vs. Purple Paladins:  My Beloved Owls lost to UT-Chattanooga last week and thus forfeited their chance to go to Buc-ee's on the way back to Kennesaw. This week, Furman comes to The Stadium Down The Street From Cracker Barrel. Furman is where Amy Grant went to school. (What other College Football post gives that type of information?) Owls win.

A Long Way With The Braves

 

 

Oh-hum. Another combination of Braves wins, Phillie losses, and The Atlanta Braves (and not the New Yerk Mutts) will win their sixth straight National League East title. (At the time of this writing, it is eight, with <checking the schedule> a bunch of games left in the schedule.)

My son took me to a game the other night. The Braves were playing The Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Braves played the Pittsburgh Pirates in the first major league games I went to.   To show you how long ago it was, Pittsburgh's right fielder was Roberto Clemente. The second baseman was Bill Mazeroski. Their shortstop was Maury Wills. Mazeroski is in The Hall of Fame, but Wills is not.

I only remember a little about that game. We sat on the top row of the old Atlanta-Fulton County stadium, which the natives called "Allanuh Stadium."

Allanuh Stadium is a distant memory now. I remember it had a smell. It smelled like beer. It was as if everybody took their beer and poured it on the concrete as soon as soon as they bought it.

The men's bathroom did not have urinals. The bathrooms had a long trough. Yes, it was as gross as it sounds.

The Braves won the Western Division in 1969 and 1982. Back in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, baseball and football considered Atlanta a West Coast city. Then, sometime in the 90s, someone found a map and said, "Oh, Atlanta's in the east." Aside from that it was mainly sad, depressing baseball.  Atlanta was considered "Loserville" by Sports Illustrated. 

Ted Turner bought the Braves in 1975 and set out to make the Braves a winning team. However, first, he had to get the fans back into the stands.

He did this with various tricks like wet t-shirt contests, which are not exactly fun for the entire family.  However, he did bring in a mascot-like figure called "The Bleacher Creature."

The Bleacher Creature was this green blob, and you can almost hear Turner say, "It's green! Kids love green blobby monsters."

By the 90s, the Braves were a joke. George Will spoke at a conference in Atlanta in 1990 when a gubernatorial election was going on (Zell Miller versus Johnny Isakson). He said the first thing he would do if elected as governor would be to bring major league baseball to Atlanta.

The following year, the Braves won the Western Division.

That's because Turner brought in John Schuerholz as General Manager, and Schuerholz turned the Braves into a winning franchise.

That was thirty-two years ago.  The Braves have experienced a couple of shaky years, but on the whole, they have been a competitive baseball team. 

They have an outstanding offensive team this year. If you can't vote for Ronald Acuna, Jr. as MVP, how about Matt Olson?  

Defensively, they are solid. I worry about their pitching, but they won the World Series two years ago with much less.

My son had tickets in The Chop House from his company.  The Chop House seats gives you a waitstaff, a place to put your food, a chilled cup holder, and a cell phone battery charger.

The Chop House is also a little place where various sorority sisters can get plastered trying to impress the fraternity bros, who are about three sheets to the wind themselves.

We got a double cheeseburgers and fries meal, which my son paid for.  Our wait person seemed like a nice guy.

The Braves won, by the way.