A Sleep Study

 

For several years, I've heard these words daily:

WAKE UP!

My darling, lovely wife spoke these words.  It always happened after supper, when we were watching TV.  It didn't matter what was on. The Super Bowl. The World Series. Stranger Things. Nekkid And Anxious In The Woods. I would just simply, gradually, fall asleep. 

It really wasn't a big deal, except with my sleeping came very LOUD snoring as you would see in  cartoons. Sawing logs doesn't even begin to describe it.

My wife taped it once; I must admit, it was awful.  

However, it wasn't the worst. That would be from somebody I'll call Big Ron to protect his identity.

Once, when our sons were "little," the church had a retreat for the boys and their dads.  My son and I shared a cabin with Big Ron, his son, and some other lads with dads.

As soon as the lights went out, a noise came from where Big Ron had bunked. I cannot describe this noise except to say it sounded like a combination of a nuclear explosion and an angry bull.  I thought he was joking. Nope.  He was sound asleep.

I just thought I had become a smaller, more handsome version of Big Ron and developed a snore. But, hey, my wife married me for better or worse, and I thought the snoring qualified as the "or worse" part.

As the years went by, my wife would suggest that I mention it to my doctor because the snoring and the falling asleep were symptoms of a condition called Sleep Apnea.

Sleep Apnea is when your Apnea falls asleep. You need to have alert Apnea, particularly when driving in Atlanta.

Actually, Sleep Apnea is "a serious sleeping disorder when your breathing starts and stops while you slumber" (WebMD). It differs from regular snoring because of the breathing stopping and starting thing. 

The symptoms of Sleep Apnea are Nuclear Sonic Snoring, pausing for breath, choking or gasping, and restlessness.  Another symptom is your wife waking you up and telling you that you are snoring. 

Other signs of Sleep Apnea are Sleepiness during the day, restless sleep, sore throat, forgetfulness, and something else I forgot.  

If you have any of these symptoms, you must go to your PCP (primary care physician), so he/she can refer you to a pulmonary specialist because your insurance says this is cost-effective. 

Once at the pulmonary specialist office, you will meet the pulmonary specialist so the pulmonary specialist can order you a "sleep study," which is something only a doctor can do because the insurance says this is cost-effective.

My pulmonary specialist  (Dr. Hurt-really, that's her name) ordered my sleep study. Back in the olden days, you would have to go to the hospital and do it.  But today, they send a little gadget that you can put on your finger when you go to bed. 

The gadget must be attached to a finger on your non-dominant hand. If you are right-handed, like me, that means your left hand.   For some reason, you cannot wear jewelry when using this gadget to do a sleep study.  

I wear only one piece of jewelry-my wedding ring. Unfortunately, I could not get my wedding ring off. We tried everything, so I pleaded with the after-hours nurse to let me do the study on my dominant hand or let me do it with my wedding ring.

They allowed me to do the study on my non-dominant hand that had the wedding ring. Then, a week or so later, I had surgery: a wedding ringectomy performed by a local jeweler. 

My test showed that I had moderate to severe sleep apnea, and my doctor said I had three options:

• A continuous positive airway pressure device (CPAP).
• Surgery.
• Some type of device that a Dental Surgeon has to make.

I went for the CPAP because it was more cost-effective, and I knew it would make me popular with the insurance company because they are into that saving money thing. 

My doctor cautioned me that something was going on about "the supply chain," which was working fine and dandy until 2020 appeared. Unfortunately, this meant there would be a "delay" in receiving my CPAP machine.   

That was the Monday after the Super Bowl.

The day after the Fourth of July, I noticed I hadn't received my CPAP machine. I called the doctor's office.  Lo and behold, the supply chain found a CPAP machine and I had to schedule an appointment to pick up my machine.

I went to pick up my machine. The office had several workers, including a  gentleman who has a CPAP machine and his wife loves it!

A guy was assigned to teach me the ropes of a CPAP machine.   Rule one: Press this button.

As my wife would say, it was so simple even Alan could do it. 

Now I am a man with a CPAP machine.  My results have been good, I guess. I sleep through the night, and my wife hasn't heard me snore.  I haven't fallen asleep watching television either.

 

My Apnea is awake.

 

Causal Summer Observations

 

 

I don't have one topic for this post.   

I have what's called in this business, by which I mean the industry of blogging, a blog of several observations because I can string a sentence or two about a topic, but I can't string a bunch of sentences into a blog post.  By the way, I saw "A Bunch Of Sentences" open for Kajagoogoo in 1983.  

A Smart car always looks dumb when it is in the wrong lane.

Once you realize that most people act like they did in high school, you learn to accept them as they are and let them go on with their bad selves.

I like saying, "go on with your bad self."

The kids of Hawkins, Indiana, have learned to cuss pretty well.

Season Four of "Stranger Things" features lots of cussing and lots of bone-breaking.

This isn't a spoiler, but Max of "Stranger Things" reminds me of one of my nieces.

I'm not sure how "Stranger Things" is going to end.  Probably everyone gets trapped in The Upside-Down, and Michael Dukakis is elected President Of The United States.

Speaking of streaming shows, we've started watching "The Offer" about making the classic movie "The Godfather."

Here's what I've learned about mobsters from "The Godfather", "Goodfellas", and "The Sopranos."

One, mobsters spend most of their time eating.

When they are not eating, they are arguing with each other.

When they are not arguing with each other, they are trying to figure out how to whack somebody.

When they do whack somebody, they go out to eat afterwards.

The rest of the day is spent cussing and committing adultery.

One of the characters in "The Offer" is Joe Columbo, a Mafia big wig who is offended by the portrayal of Italian-Americans in "The Godfather."  He started an organization called "The Italian-American Civil Rights League" to combat negative stereotypes about Italian-Americans.

In reality, it was a PR group  to deny the existence of The Mafia and "improve the image of Mobsters." (Wikipedia)

Do you know what would have improved the image of mobsters?  Less whacking.

One of the things I find annoying is a little trick used by hoo-de-do millennial and Gen-Z writers to take a topic and take a view totally opposite from general consensus.

For example, a young writer for one of those New York magazines, which is supposed to signal what everybody should think, tweeted that "Seinfeld" was not funny.

She clarified that Julia Louis-Dreyfus was great (of course!) and Jason Alexander had his moments.  However, Jerry Seinfeld could not act, and Michael Richards is a horrible person who should never be forgiven.

"Seinfeld" is overrated in the sense that it was not the BEST SITCOM EVER.  It was merely one of the best sitcoms ever.

I noticed this tendency a decade or so ago when I saw Millennials say The Beatles were overrated.  So were The Stones and the Eagles. 

I think some of the young people just like having a different opinion because it sets them apart from the crowd.

But as Tom Petty once said, "It's just taste, man."  If someone doesn't like The Beatles, it is no skin off my nose.

I just don't remember my generation sitting around saying, "Beethoven, he's okay, I reckon. I mean, I get DA-DA-DA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, besides that, meh."

If something's good, it's good no matter when it was made.

Finally, we saw the new movie about Elvis Presley.  It is a good, flashy movie. Tom Hanks, despite what you might have read, did an excellent job as Col. Tom Parker.

My only comment about Elvis is one from George Harrison.  He said, "When Elvis was great, he was really great."

Who's Next? Who Knows?

 

 

It was back in my first blog, Alan's Alley, that I made my first prediction about an upcoming Presidential election.

It was 2006, and I predicted the next President would be either John McCain, Hillary Clinton, or this guy from Illinois, Barack Obama.

 

Granted, it didn't take  Nostradamus to figure that one out. But I came back in 2011 and predicted Mitt Romney would win the Republican nomination.  I was right again because Republicans usually nominate the guy next in line. In 2008, that was McCain; in 2012, that was Romney.

In 2013, my psychic powers went kablooey. 

I predicted the Republicans would retake the White House with a blunt-talking fatty from a Northern industrial state:  Chris Christie.

I based this on something Chris Matthews said-the new President is always different from the last President.  Kennedy was young, and Eisenhower was old.  Carter wouldn't tell a lie, and Nixon, well, you know.  I thought, who is more different than Barack Obama besides Chris Christie.  

Oops.

I'll admit I didn't see the Donald Trump phenomenon coming. Sure, he was on TV every week and the show did quite well, but I didn't see him as Presidential timber at all.

 

Well, he won and we had four years of the Donald Trump experience which was real, as they say.

The Trump years ended like most things with Trump: badly. He took his obvious defeat like a big baby, practically ordering the Secretary of State of Georgia to find 13,000 votes. 

I knew Trump didn't have any facts on his side when he couldn't believe he lost Cobb County.  He lost Cobb County in 2016.

The talk now with the Washington Mainstream Media folks is Trump is a shoo-in for the GOP nomination in 2024. I can think some people that want Trump to take another swing at it:  The Mainstream Media, comedians, Democrats, and Stephen Colbert.  He gave them so much to talk about.

I think Republicans want somebody new in 2024.  I mean, we bought the World Of Trump and we got the t-shirt.  Do we want to go back?

I don't see it.  What I do see is Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida.  DeSantis is from a middle-class background but graduated from one of those hoity-toity schools.  He was in the Armed Services.  He was born in 1978. Important historical fact: Biden was still in his first term as a senator and Trump was still married to his first wife when DeSantis was born.

Speaking of President Biden, I told everyone in 2020 that Biden was too old to be President.  I got that one right.

It is almost painful watching Biden trying to project being Presidential.   You may not have heard about a speech he gave when he signed an executive order where he repeated the teleprompter instruction like Ron Burgandy.  Oh, if only Johnny Carson were alive today. 

 

Biden's poll numbers are low.  How low are they?  They are so low that some Democrats (i.e., their wealthy donors) want Pete Buttigieg to replace Biden on the Democratic ticket.

Despite the fact that never in U.S. history has a Secretary of Transportation ever won the White House, much less a party's nomination for President, the idea that they would consider throwing Kamala Harris under the bus is astonishing. 

Kamala Harris is a person whose resume looked real good but her performance has been so-so, at best.  Still, you wouldn't deny her the nomination if Biden retires to the Old President's  Home. Would you?

And for Pete Buttigieg?  I know he was the mayor of the fourth largest city in Indiana, but his performance with the supply chain crisis has shown me that maybe he should have stayed in South Bend.

We have a problem with air travel. Apparently, we have a pilot shortage.  U.S. commercial airline pilots are forced to retire at 65 years old.

When Neil Cavuto suggested to Buttigieg that maybe the retirement rule be temporarily waived since there has been so much disruption of air travel during the 4th of July holiday.

Buttigieg said, "That regulation is there for safety reasons".  He went on to say, "I haven't seen any piece of information or data that would suggest that the reasoning has changed. And so I'm going to look at other steps that are not affecting safety."

The President of The United States is almost 80 years and he has direct access to nuclear codes.   I think that is a safety issue.

Additionally, it doesn't bother Buttigieg that school-aged children ride in buses with drivers over 65 years old. That seems to me to be a safety issue, too.

Isn't it ironic that this form of prejudice is tolerated?  When a pilot is 64, he can fly the friendly skies.  But one month later, when he is 65, he has to retire, or he might fly the Miami passengers to Detroit or into the side of a mountain.

So who do I think is going to win the Presidential election in 2024?  Who knows?

Sometimes we just close our eyes and pull one out of a hat.