Yellowstone

 

 

The biggest show on television right now is "Yellowstone"

In 2021. "Yellowstone" finished first in broadcast, cable, and premium viewership in the 18-49  age demographic.  At a recent party I went to, I found "Yellowstone" is number one in the Old Fart demographic (men over 60 years in age).

"Yellowstone" is a modern-day western that takes place in modern-day Montana. The story revolves around the Dutton family. Here is a brief description of the family.

John Dutton:  He is the head of the family and is played by Kevin Costner. He owns Yellowstone,  the largest ranch in Montana, and everyone hates him because he is rich.  He is a widow and sleeps with the governor, who is a handsome middle-aged woman. (In real life, the governor of Montana is Greg Gianforte, Gianforte once body slammed a reporter to the ground.)  Costner speaks in a low voice, sort of like he is a Cowboy Batman.  However, he is a Tony Soprano in blue jeans

 

Kayce Dutton:  John's youngest son who was a Navy Seal and has no job except he "trains" horses.  He is married to a Hot Indigenous Woman.  They have an annoying son (Tate) who is always falling into rivers and picking fights with rattlesnakes. Kayce doesn't get along with John.  Kayce kills about four hundred people in the first four episodes.  However, most of them needed killing.

Jamie Dutton:  John's adopted son who is considered soft because he has read a book.   He is a lawyer whose highest ambition is to be the Attorney General of Montana which is sort of like wanting to become the assistant night manager at Wal-Mart.

Beth Dutton:  She is the worst person in the family. In fact, she is the worst person in Montana  She drinks like a sailor on leave. She says really,really bad words. She smokes like a chimney. When Beth isn't drinking, cussing, or smoking, you can usually find her naked. She likes getting "nekkid", as Lewis Grizzard used to call it, because Beth somehow accidentally killed her mother. Beth deals with this by taking baths outside and letting all of the ranch hands see her nude body. In fact, we all see a lot of Beth because they show more on "Yellowstone" than on other Basic Cable shows.   You see her hiney as she's walking back to the house. I'm not sure if it was a stunt hiney or not. But it was glorious.  They also show all of her kabooms, including the Cheese-Its.

Rip Wheeler:  He is John Dutton's right-hand man at the ranch. He's not adopted like Jamie. When Rip was thirteen, he killed his low-down, good-fer-nothing pig farmer of a dad with a frying pan and John Dutton thought this is exactly what we need at the ranch. He also has an on-again off- again relationship with Beth, even though she treats him like dirt. When she gives him her lust eating a saltine cracker look, he is putty in her hands.

Chief Thomas Rainwater:  A Harvard-educated Chief of the Broken Rock Indian Reservation who acts like he is The President of Indigenous People.  He wants everything John Dutton has because Dutton's ancestors took it from Ranwater's ancestors and that was wrong.  The fact he would become very wealthy is besides the point.

Dan Jenkins:  One of the hoody-do people from California that wants to be super-duper rich like John Dutton.  This gets on John's bad side and he sends his cowboys to fake hang him.

Jimmy Hurdstrom:  He's a mouth breathing ex-con who Rip decides would be a pretty good cowboy except he's not the brightest brightest bull in the herd. Jimmy is always doing something stupid, like falling off his horse at inopportune times like when there is a bear four feet from him.

Walker:  He's not a Texas ranger, but just another ex-con with a guitar and a song.  He's played by Ryan Bingham, who has won an Oscar. Really. He won it for the song "Weary Kind". His genre is Americana, which is country music that went a community college.  He challenges Rip for the affections of Beth which isn't very hard to do when she isn't in one of her awful moods.

Various Cowpokes:  The ranch has several ranch hands. There's one who sort of looks like Sam Elliot's stand-in who takes terminated ranch hands to the train depot.  You do not want to go to the train depot. There's a girl ranch hand who used to be a stripper but she's really good with horses, so the kid just needs a few breaks.   There are others, but mainly they are there to drink, play poker, and to ride horses. 

We have recently finished season one and we are right in the middle of season two.  Things are a mess at the ranch. Kayce's wife has become a professor at Montana State University where she teaches a History survey course about how the white man sucks.

John has an ulcer. John demotes Rip and places Kaycee as the boss man. Chief Rainwater and Jenkins go into business together.  Someone kills a bunch of cows. John selects the next Attorney General of Montana. We find out that Beth wears a bra. Sometimes.

My wife said it best. "Yellowstone" is "like " Dallas" with a splash of "The Sopranos".

Scorecard:

Violence:  Lots and some of it is gross.

Sex and Nudity:  Yep

Cussing: Lots and Lots.

Any Funny Cussing?:  Yes, there is a line about a monkey and a football

Soundtrack:  The soundtrack is great. They play Chris Stapleton, The SteelDrivers, and The Turnpike Troubadours.

Bottom Line:  It is a very good show despite the violence, nudity, and cussing. At least it is not a "Real Housewife" reality show.  Hopefully, this show can take reality programs to the train depot.