Don't Worry- We Have Buc-ee's

People can't help from feeling a little depressed, if you know what I mean.

We have this virus, for which we have a vaccine, that is still hanging around and killing people who haven't taken the vaccine.  And we still can't convince enough people to get vaccinated, probably because all the scientific information on earth is no match for a rapper's story about her cousin's friend and his enlarged gonads.

(Unrelated, my friend, the great Bill Wade, was once on an intramural football team called The Nads and their team cheer was Go! Nads!)

The economy is still in the doldrums.  There are more jobs than people to fill them but nobody wants to work. Have you tried to get supper at Chick-fil-A?  The lines are so long you might want to use a PTO day.

While there are no shortages, so far, again, for toilet paper, you cannot find a product I call "Hiney Wipes". Something about the supply chain. 

How can we forget our inspirational leadership from Washington?  President Biden appears every two weeks to yell at us to get off his lawn.  Our former President is issuing statements basically calling everybody a loser and that HE actually won the election and everybody knows it. 

Then the thrill of all thrills, Trump is making noises that he will run again in 2024. Happy, happy, joy, joy.  Instead of "Making America Great Again", his slogan will be "Even Closer To 80 Years Old Than The Last Time".

On top of that, the music the kids listen these days still sucks.

But do not let your heart grow weary.  There is something out there, on our interstate highways, that will bring you joy.  Yes, my friends, JOY!  (As preachers will say, that is a good place for an "amen".)

Buc-ee's.

As the kids say, "Wait, what?"  Buc-ee's.  

Buc-ee's is "a chain of travel centers known for clean bathrooms and many fueling positions."  That's from their website. Actually, Buc-ee's is a big old honkin' convenience store with about twelve billion gas pumps, give or take a billion.

Buc-ee's started in Texas by two guys, one of whom is nicknamed "Buck", hence the name.   It grew in Texas because they like things bigger in Texas, including convenience stores.  Then they expanded to Alabama, Florida, and Georgia, praise the Lord. 

They are building stores in Kentucky, Mississippi, Tennessee, and South Carolina.  Hopefully, there will be a Buc-ee's in every state, including Vermont, which doesn't have an interstate.

Mrs. Manis and I stopped at the Buc-ee's in Calhoun, Georgia, while going to a weekend getaway to Chattanooga, Tennessee.

The first thing you see is a parking lot full of cars.  Then you see the gas pumps.  Our Buc-ee's did not have a billion gas bumps, only 120 gas pumps.  

The store is 53,000 square feet.  It is filled with people like it was Black Friday. You also notice they have plenty of employees, and they all seem to be working, and they all seem to be nice.   One gave us directions to someplace essential: the bathrooms.

The bathrooms at Buc-ee's are spotless.  I don't know who is in charge of the bathrooms at Buc-ee's corporate, but he should win a Nobel Prize.  You could, if you had to, eat in the bathrooms. (Which I saw a guy do at The Chelsea Market in New York City.  He was eating a sandwich.)

They sell all of the usual convenience glob at Buc-ee's:  drinks, mints, etc.  But they also sell barbeque beef brisket sandwiches.  I know barbecue beef is the devil's BBQ but the Lord wouldn't mind you having a sandwich or two.

My Facebook friend, "Tater" (yes, that's his name), went his local Buc-ee's and posted this the other day. "Got me some sliced BBQ brisket sammiches for lunch and dinner."  He also bought some snacks, like "Beaver Nuggets" which I can't explain what they are but I will tell you they are glorious.  

Along with the "sammiches" and "Beaver Nuggets", you can buy their homemade beef jerky. They have 15 types of beef jerky. When I was coming along, there was only one flavor of beef jerky: beef.

The little lady and I bought some Beaver Nuggets, Buc-ee's BBQ crunchy snack that's bad for your health but tastes good, some bottled water, and a t-shirt with this little fella on it. 

 

It was a pleasant, enjoyable experience.  When was the last time you had that on an interstate?

If anyone asks what makes America better than say China, just tell them we have Buc-ee's and they don't.

This Week's Picks

 

 Here's my impression so far on the College Football season.

1) I think Alabama should be number one and Georgia should be number two.  It will probably play out that way until the SEC Championship.  Unless......

2)  Florida  beats Georgia in the World's Largest Orgy Cocktail Party.

3)  I'm sure someone from the Northeast will talk about how great Notre Dame is.

4)  Ole Miss will play better this year but will still get beat in The Egg Bowl.  That's right- it is not even October and I've made a pick for The Egg Bowl.

5) I'm tired of the AFLAC commercials with Nick Saban and Deion Sanders.  Deion knows how to play to the camera. Nick?  Well, let's say I'd rather listen to the duck.

 

6) Speaking of insurance, I still feel sorry for the Liberty Mutual guy who has to make sales calls with an Emu.

7) Whatever happened to those two guys that used to go to Sonic together?  I hope everything is all right.

 

This Week's Picks!

 

Jawja vs Commode Doors:  UGA travels up to Music City to get some Nashville Hot Chick-Chick and play Vanderbilt. The Dawgs defense is a sight to behold, kind of like Dolly Parton. Vandy? Well, they are gotta' get drunk and they sure do dread it.  UGA wins.

 

Jackets of Yellow vs Heels of Tar:  The good news from the Bumbles game against Clemson is that they fought Clemson really hard and was in the game until the end. In fact, My Beloved Owls scored more points against Tech than Clemson did.   Of course, they still lost the game, but it was a good moral victory if you are into that sort of thing.  UNC is a good team this year.  Tar Heels win.

 

Vols vs Reptiles:  If wishes and buts were candy and nuts everyday would be Christmas and Florida would have beaten Alabama. I liked the way they held themselves steady and kept working at until they were back in the ballgame.  Oh well, that's part of that Saban luck.  Tennessee really needs to beat somebody good to be back in the high life again.  It won't be this Saturday.  Gators win

 

 Ags vs Pigs.  Well, sooie! Look who is back in the conversation!  It is Arkansas who has hit a rough patch the past couple of years.  Texas A&M is having one of their typical years.  I think Aggies are better than the Piggies, but it is good to have have Arky back in town.   Aggies win,

 

Ellesyou vs The Other Bulldogs:  Nobody ever mentions it, but once LSU won the the College Football Championship, the world get hit with a pandemic. Maybe you have heard about it.  Anyway, last year, LSU didn't do so well and Coach Orgeron is in "the hot seat", which is College Football talk for "about to get fired.   The Other Bulldogs are coached by Mike Leach who may/may not be clinically insane.  However, he's got the Upright Bulldogs playing well, even if they got jobbed last week.  Mississippi State wins.

 

 

On That Day

 

On that day, I was in my quad cubicle (a cubicle that would hold four desks) at the insurance company.

There were rumblings that the head honchos were going to close the office in Atlanta (actually Smyrna) and move it to Utica, New York.  Something about cost-efficiency.

Someone stood up in their cubicle, which was next to mine and said, "Did you hear an airplane crashed into World Trade Center?"

I hadn't heard, but I thought it had to be an accident. I had seen a story on "Unsolved Mysteries" about a plane flying into The Empire State Building.  I thought there must have been some bad weather or something.

Wrong.

It was a terrorist attack.  The reason was unclear. It could have been about the wealth of The United States, but later we learn the attackers came from well-to-do backgrounds.

  
I've even read they had a beef about sky scrappers.   I've never had a beef with any building in my life.

I always thought it has something to do with being absolute nutjobs intent on making people fear them.  They were anti-Semitic and anti-anything that didn't fit the square pegs of their brains.

It was an absolute nightmare.  It was worse than Pearl Harbor.

On that day, though, we were united. United in our anger. United in our grief.  

It took a while, but we slipped back into a bad old habit.  Our habit of blaming anybody except the person (or persons) that committed the crime.  It was Bush's fault. He wanted to start a war because he had "daddy issues."  It was Cheney's fault-Texas oil man, you know.
The planes couldn't cause the towers to fall.  No, George W. Bush set up a controlled demolition.

On that day, Senators and Congressmen from both parties gathered outside The Capitol and sang "God Bless America".  I thought it was corny then.   I don't anymore.

On that day, we admired the people that ran towards The Towers: the policemen and the firemen.  

On that day, we had remarkable stories of heroism. We heard the last words a husband or a wife would say to their life's love. We heard about children losing fathers and mothers.  We heard about parents losing their adult children. We heard about people losing friends.

I didn't know anyone that lost their life on that day.   A co-worker had a niece that worked at one of The Towers.  I think she got fine. One of the stories that is buried in the horror is how many people DIDN'T die on that day. The people on the floors below the impact zones generally got out.  In the 1993 bombing, it took almost 12 hours to totally evacuate the buildings. 

On that day, although we took a jolt, I thought things would get better.

I'm not sure it has.

We are too cynical with each other. We judge either other by their particular political stand at the moment. As a result, we are caustic, hypercritical, hypocritical, and downright mean in a lot of cases.

We need to pause. We need to catch our breath. We need to remember how we felt on that day.

 

This Week's Picks

 

When it comes to sports, there is one thing that unites all Georgians.  We all expect our sports teams to disappoint us.  I'm not going to name any names (Falcons!).  It is just we've had our hearts crushed so many times. We choose not to get our hopes up.

That's what made the Georgia-Clemson game so special for me. I expected the New Clemson quarterback who has replaced the graduated Hippie quarterback to be lights out.  He wasn't. Georgia's defense was incredible.  The offense?  Meh, they were good enough.

This Week's Picks.

Jawja vs Dragons.  Believe it or not, there are some other college football teams in  The Heart of Dixie besides Alabama and Auburn.  There's the University of Alabama At Birmingham (UAB).  You might remember the school discontinued football a couple of years ago when they had a brief fling with communism.  Football is back and this week they are playing the Bulldawgs who are feeling good about themselves after last week. Could this be a letdown game for Georgia. Naw.  Dawgs win!

 

Bumbles vs My Beloved Owls.  Just a little big of personal history. When I was coming along,  the smart kids that did their homework and took Geometric Trigacalculus went to Georgia Tech. The kids who sometimes forgot about their homework, or had especially hungry dogs and whose Math class was called "Math Class"  went to Kennesaw State.  The Tech folks were sharp as a whip while we lowly Kennesaw people had to be reminded to chew our supper with our mouths closed.  I would LOVE to see My Beloved Owls win, but as Lewis Grizzard once told me (really), "When picking games always go with your head and not your heart".  Tech got beat by Northern Illinois last week and their is no way Coach Geoff is going to let this team lose against Kennesaw State.  Tech wins. 

 

 

 Quacks vs Ahia State. Oregon and their 1200 uniforms face-off against The Buckeyes. The Buckeyes are good, again, this year. Dad gummit. Ohio State  wins.

 

 I Owe Wah vs I Owe Wah State:  I have only met one person from Iowa in my life. That's not really relevant, but I've always like this match up . I like Iowa this year.  Iowa wins.

 

The Pitts vs Rocky Topped:  Did you hear? Tennessee is back! I'm not sure who the head coach is, but he should be better than the last fifty they've had in the past ten years.  The Vols opened up a can of whoop-up on Bowling Green Not In Kentucky  last week. Hey, whatever it takes.  Which reminds me of my favorite Tennessee joke. Why is orange the favorite color of a Tennessee fan?  They can wear orange to hunt on Friday, to the game on Saturday, and to their community service picking up trash on the side of the road on Sunday.     Tennessee wins.

 

Son's Eagles vs Other Owls:  Georgia Southern (actual lyric from their alma mater: "Now I've got a nickel have you got a dime?  Let's get together and get a little wine")  play the Owls of Florida Atlantic University.  I have no clue about this game but I'm going with Georgia Southern.  Georgia Southern wins!

This Week's Picks

 

 Welcome to another year of our favorite professional sport, College Football!

There's been a couple of exciting developments in the off-season like  "Name, Likeness, And Image " (NIL)policy , in which the NCAA allows a player to be paid by a third party for his name, likeness, and image.  This means all of the hoop-de-do players will be paid by corporations instead of receiving their cash under the table as God intended.

The second development has been the expansion of The SEC to include Texas, Oklahoma, the Atlanta Falcons, the Memphis Grizzlies, the Nashville Predators,  and the Miami Marlins.  

How these will effect college football, we don't know. We do know you will probably have Alabama, Clemson, and Ohio State in the Playoff.  The fourth team will be either Notre Dame, LSU, Georgia, Michigan, Texas, Oklahoma, USC, or Kennesaw State University .

 

 This Week's Picks!

 

Jawja vs Clem- This is a big deal game. So big it has to be played in Charlotte.  Clemson lost their hippie quarterback to the NFL draft but his replacement. D.J. Uiagalelei is supposedly on the Heisman Watch despite having only three consonants in his last name.  Great.  I really want Georgia to win because I want Georgia to win.  I'm picking Clemson so the Manis Jinx will claim its first victim.  Clemson wins!

 

 

 

Bees vs Northern Directional University of Illinois:This is Coach Geoff's third season and this is usually when the natives get restless and want to see some wins.  This is a game they'll want to see Bumbles win. They will.  Tech wins. 

 

Bamy vs U:  Several years ago, this would have been one of those games people would talk about forever.  I listened to a podcast in which the ESPN guys were really pumping Miami up.  I'm not buying it.  Alabama is precisely what they are: the best team in College Football right now as of this moment.   Bama wins

 

 Indiana Wants Me vs  I Owe Wha: Indiana was a surprise team last year because everybody thinks of them as a basketball school. Iowa is the same middle-to-good team whose uniform sort of reminds me of the Pittsburgh Steelers.  I'm going with Indiana.  Indiana wins, I guess.

Heels Of Tar vs Gobblers   Yikes! Another ACC game in the picks!  It looks like Mac Brown has brought the Tar Heels back to being the best football team in North Carolina. They still put mustard on their BBQ, like heathens.  North Carolina wins.

Ahia State vs Minisoda I have never liked Ohio State. I never liked Woody Hayes. I'm not sure what a Buckeye is.  Minnesota is a good team, darn tootin' but geez Louise, they're not Ohio State.  Ohio State Wins.

Some Other Bulldogs vs The Impaired Eagles Of Statesboro: Georgia Southern (school motto:  "Pop A Top Again") has been playing some pretty entertaining football over the past couple of seasons.  They start the 2021 campaign against Gardner-Webb University  (school motto:  "Hey My Niece Goes There").  Gardner-Webb's team is called "The Running Bulldogs", which sounds better than "The Standing Around Bulldogs"  or "The Jogging Bulldogs" or  "The Bulldogs That Hog The Elliptical At The Gym".    Georgia Southern wins.

 

My Beloved Owls vs Reinhardt  The FCS, due to COVID-19 (which has been in all of the papers) played games this past spring.  The Owls were 5-1, pretty good for such an odd season.  They begin this season against their Cherokee County neighbors,  Reinhardt University which is in Waleska, Georgia. Waleska has an estimated population of 964 people. Reinhardt is the chief business. My Beloved Owls win.