Oh, Atlanta

 

"Oh, Atlanta. I hear you calling"

 

Is it just me, or is Atlanta becoming a bit of a drag?

Neal Boortz used to say, "Atlanta is a pearl in a sea of grits".  While the rest of the Deep South was fighting newfangled ideas like air-conditioning, Atlanta ran headfirst into Modern Times!  "Yes, all men are created equal! Don't put your company in Birmingham, put it in Atlanta! We have a snazzy airport! We have a swinging nightlife in Buckhead (don't ask where Buckhead is-just drive around and you'll find it).  We love money!"

They brought their money to Atlanta. They brought their families, too, all from the North.

I was in eighth grade when they escorted Lynn into our class. They said she was from Massachusetts.  Her last name ended in a vowel.  We had seen people from Massachusetts on TV, of course.  But here was a real live kid from Massachusetts sitting in one of our desks at East Cobb Junior High School, Henry Nettles, Principal.  

There was a whole mess of them that year. Kids from Indiana. Kids from Ohio. Kids from Illinois. Kids from Minnesota.

They all, generally, said the same thing.  Everything sucks down here, and everything was better where they were from.

But they all stayed. Soon, even more, moved to Atlanta, and it has created this large metropolitan area that's only known for having Real Housewives.

We have more people here than we can handle.  I wish someone would get on TV and say, "If you thinking about moving to Atlanta. Don't. We're full.  We don't need another person coming down here telling us how better it was up there.  We don't care that you can't get a good pizza slice at 3:00 in the morning. You should be in bed. Gah."

All of these people cause the number one problem in the Atlanta area: traffic.

I can't describe the traffic in Atlanta except to say you will have, at minimum, one near-death experience a week.

Drivers in Atlanta take it as an insult that you might get to your destination before they do.  Therefore, speed limits and traffic lights are mere suggestions.

Add to this a new season of Hell in Atlanta called "Street Racing".

There's a group of young people that thinks the  "Fast And Furious" movies are documentaries. They block off whatever street they can find and do all sorts of car shenanigans like drag racing and donuts (where the car makes a circle and the driver says "wooooooooo" very loud.)

Supposedly, Atlanta is going to wag a stern finger at the racers and maybe send a nicely worded letter to their mothers.  

But, Atlanta has another big problem: Crime.  You can't go a day without hearing a report about somebody getting shot in Atlanta.  The Atlanta Journal-Constitution just two days ago reported that homicides are up 58 percent in 2021 over this time last year. 

WXIA-TV reports that "The victims are overwhelmingly in the 18 to 32 age group, with more than 50 percent of shootings victims falling in that age range".   

Stating the leadership in Atlanta has been AWOL is a nice way of putting it.  The current mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms, who appeared to the pretty popular, has decided against running for re-election so she can take a job at Wal-Mart or Walgreens or something.  Waiting in the wings Ta-Da: Kasim Reed.

Having Kasim Reed announce he was running for mayor was greeted with the same enthusiasm as if Jeb Bush announced he was running for President again..  Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Kasim Reed was not the most ethically challenged mayor in Atlanta history. That belongs to Mayor Bill Campbell, who single handily turned downtown Atlanta into Gatlinburg for the Olympics.  But, Mayor Reed was up there.

There were a lot of issues involving city contracts and finances. Plus, there was a little thing about using the police to clear a path for him going to a speech like he was the King of Georgia.

I'm not sure if Reed has any plans to address traffic, street, or crime.  I'm not sure there's anything he could do.

It would be nice if he tried.