Joe Will Probably Go

On August 22, 2017, I posted a blog titled "Josephine!' and I am proud of it.

The words came out of my fingers and into my computer with such ease on that one. I had some great lines in it. While writing about the mess in Charlottesville, Virginia I said:

 "From the Neo-Nazis and J. Crew Ku Klux Klan kids to the Fascist Antifa to the Charlottesville Police being apparently at Dunkin Donuts to President Trump's attempt to calm the nation down by saying exactly the wrong words, it wasn't one of our brilliant, shining moments."

I also quoted from then-House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi who announced she wanted to remove some Confederate generals that are honored in Statutory Hall. I added my own parenthetical comments.

“The Confederate statues in the halls of Congress have always been reprehensible", (If by "always" you mean you realized last week) Ms. Pelosi said, putting pressure on the House speaker, Paul D. Ryan of Wisconsin, to act. (Which he did by wetting his pants) "If Republicans are serious about rejecting white supremacy, I call upon Speaker Ryan to join Democrats to remove the Confederate statues from the Capitol immediately.” (Which were put in by Democrats in the first place, but don't even think about that.)

One of those generals is kind of personal for me: Joseph E Wheeler. My high school alma mater was named for him.

As you might have heard, there is a lot of unrest today. It has been in all of the papers.

I'm not going to go into everything, except to say now we are in the stage where we need to rename places to make things right. People are suggesting renaming Fort Polk, Fort Bragg, etc, because Polk and Bragg were Confederate generals and merely being Confederates means Polk and Bragg were traitors

The AROUND TOWN column in the Marietta Daily Journal, the newspaper of record here in Cobb County recently published an item which said, "...parents of Cobb schools students have begun discussing on social media whether a name change is due for Wheeler High School."

AROUND TOWN goes on to report: "Cobb school board member Charisse Davis, who represents Wheeler, said she has heard from some families who are interested in changing the school’s name. 'I think that this is just a start in Cobb as these conversations happen all around the country, including among military leaders, who are calling for bases to be renamed,' she said."

A newspaper called East Cobb News had even more information about "conversations"  floating around East Cobb.  It reports that a petition to change the name of both Wheeler High School and Walton High School were placed on Change.org.

The petition to change the name of Walton High School was placed by a current Walton High School student.

“No one ever talks about how George Walton was a white supremacist, belonged to a slave owning family, and spent his political career championing white supremacy in Georgia by stripping Native Americans time and time again of their land. For a school well known on the national stage, it is sickening that they choose to carry themselves using a man who represents one thing: continuing white supremacy in the American South.”

No one ever talks about how George Walton was all these awful things because nobody ever talks about George Walton.  All I knew about him was that he signed The Declaration of Independence. I guess I assumed he was all of those things because he was a man of means and that's what they did in the 18th Century. I was around at that time because Walton was created to alleviate overcrowding at Wheeler. I know because I was there during the split sessions time in the history of Wheeler.  I can't say why they chose the name of George Walton, but it probably had to do with the Bicentennial, which occurred the first year it was opened.

The student goes on to describe mistreatment from other students. Wow, Richy Rich high school students being insensitive to someone's feelings and being mean. I've never heard that before.   I'm not quite sure what George Walton has to do with it. However, if someone wants to say Walton students are jerks, I wouldn't argue with them.

The East Cobb News also printed part of the Wheeler petition which was created by a private Facebook group called "Wildcats For A Change" who describes themselves as members "Lifelong members of Wildcat Nation".

“Students do not deserve to attend a school whose namesake celebrates a Confederate history and one that was named for a hateful purpose: to hurt and shame Black youth that were, by court order, integrated into our county’s white school system. It does not go unnoticed that the school was named after the passing of Brown v Board of Education, in which the Supreme Court of the United States unanimously ruled that racial segregation of children in public schools was unconstitutional. It does not go unnoticed that the school was named after the state of Georgia finally began to adhere to the ruling, seven years after it passed. It does not go unnoticed that the Cobb County School Board finally voted to desegregate in 1965—the same year they named Joseph Wheeler High School.”

Well.  I'm not sure about the "hateful purpose".  It would be interesting to see if the"Wildcats For A Change" can produce some historical documents, transcripts, etc, showing the Cobb County School Board wanted to hurt and shame young people. 

Charisse Davis did say she did not see this renaming issue coming up before the Cobb County Board of Education "anytime soon".   She did sign the petition.  I would say she has made up her mind on the matter.

A couple of things. I lived across the street from Wheeler for ten years. My brothers and I all graduated from Wheeler.  My wife and her family graduated from Wheeler. I got married at the small church that was next door to Wheeler and went to church there until 1993.  I know the area.

I don't remember anyone and I mean anyone, ever teaching me it was okay to hate anybody. If that was their reason to name the school Wheeler, they have failed miserably.

The times, they have changed  If the district's democratically elected leaders and the people of the district want to change the name of Wheeler High School, more power to them.

I would ask that there would be actual "conversations", you know, where two sides exchange ideas and try to come to a consensus instead of the current model which everybody tries to clap back at each other.

The petition is correct that the "namesake celebrates a Confederate history".  However, I would argue he was more than a goofball Confederate general running around saying "Fergit Hell".  He was accepted back into the US Army at age 61 (my age now) and was a general in the Spanish-American War. The division that he led included Theodore Roosevelt.  Wheeler  is one of the few Confederates buried in Arlington National  Cemetery

I would say he was forgiven for his transgressions by the United States. Maybe we should too.

 

Don't Mess With Elmer and Sam.

I have resisted commenting on the news for several reasons.

One, some of these topics are very unpleasant and don't make for light blog writing or reading.  I found the events of the past couple of weeks to be very sad and very tragic. 

Two, I am a Southern white male.  Because where I landed when I plopped out almost 61 years ago, anything I say on any topic will be greeted with derision and heavens to Betsy I might even get canceled by a Twitter mob.

In other words, nobody really cares what I think. I've entered into that demographic known as "Old Fart".  I find myself looking at Prevagen commercials wondering if that jellyfish stuff really works. I pay attention to those Medicare Advantage commercials in which they reverse your mortgage and give you money. Or something like that. I really do need some Prevagen.

However, there have been a couple of events that in the scheme of things are probably not a big deal, but as a phrase, I learned in history classes, we are heading to a slippery slope.

You might have heard that HBO Max, a new streaming service, will not stream the classic 1939 film "Gone With The Wind" because it glamorizes the Old South. Supposedly, they are going to apply a warning label on it saying this film is not historically accurate.

Okay, it is HBO's wagon and I don't have to sign up. I'm not even a "Gone With The Wind" fan, but I think it is odd 80 years after its release we think it is some kind of history lesson.

It's like putting a label on the "Spiderman" movies stating "Getting bit by a radioactive spider will not give you superpowers but it may make you swell and have to go to the emergency room."

If you haven't seen GWTW, I can advise you that it is a long movie filled with some really great acting and some really bad acting. Scarlett O'Hara is a narcissistic shrew who hops from bed to bed trying to find love.  Rhett Butler is a hound dog chasing skirts and running guns.  Basically, the only character worth a dime in the movie is Mammy who is played by Hattie McDaniel.  She won an Oscar for the role. I spent most of my time watching GWTW wishing she would hit Scarlett with a skillet.

HBO Max will show brand new spanking "Looney Toons" cartoons.  Elmer Fudd will not be shown "wabbit hunting" with a shotgun. Maybe, he'll use a camera to get photographs. Neither will Yosemite Sam be shown with his six-shooters. I'm not quite sure why this is being done.  I haven't read anything in the news about these mass shootings where the shooter was quoting Yosemite Sam.

I haven't heard if the #Metoo movement has issued a report about Pepe Le Pew. I don't know what that cat has to do to let that skunk know she's not interested.

After "Live PD" and "Cops" were canceled, there was some Twitter buzz about a show called "Paw Patrol", which is on Nickelodeon.  Here's what the New York Times says

“Paw Patrol” is a children’s cartoon about a squad of canine helpers. It is basically a pretense for placing household pets in a variety of cool trucks. The team includes Marshall, a firefighting Dalmatian; Rubble, a bulldog construction worker; and Chase, a German shepherd who is also a cop. In the world of “Paw Patrol,” Chase is drawn to be a very good boy who barks stuff like “Chase is on the case!” and “All in a police pup’s day!” as he rescues kittens in his tricked-out S.U.V.

But last week, when the show’s official Twitter account put out a bland call for “Black voices to be heard,” commenters came after Chase. “Euthanize the police dog,” they said. “Defund the paw patrol.” “All dogs go to heaven, except the class traitors in the Paw Patrol.”

"Paw Patrol" hasn't been canceled. Yet. The Times article goes on to say, "'Paw Patrol' seems harmless enough, and that’s the point: The movement rests on understanding that cops do plenty of harm."  I like that phrase "seems harmless enough". It's like we have to study that a talking dog cartoon that saves kittens out of a tree is "harmless" or "harmful"

It has been reported Amazon Prime may pull "The Dukes Of Hazzard"  from their old TV lineup. The reason: the Duke boys hot rod around Hazzard County in a car named "General Lee" and "General Lee" has a Confederate flag on its roof.

If you don't remember "The Dukes Of Hazzard", the show is about Bo and Luke Duke who live in Hazzard County, Georgia, and are brain surgeons. They live with their transgendered Memaw named "Uncle Jessie" and their cousin Daisey is the county's ACLU lawyer. (Editor's Note:  Alan really needs to take Prevagen)

In their spare time, Bo and Luke run moonshine in their 1969 Dodge Charger evading the county's sheriff, Roscoe P. Coaltrane.  For reasons unclear, the Duke boys are of interest to County Commissioner Boss Hogg.  I have lived in the South all my life and never met a person named "Boss".

In other words, "The Dukes Of Hazzard" was basically about poor people sticking it to the man, or rather, Hogg.

The show was wildly popular in the late '70s and early '80s.  I don't remember it ever dealing with any heavy topics or any racial stereotypes.

Now it did have stereotypes. For example, all young white Southern males like to drive fast, run moonshine, and their female cousins are hotties that wear shorty-shorts. Sure, the roof of that Dodge Charger had that dreaded symbol on it, but they were just good old boys, never meaning no harm.

I'm not saying "The Dukes Of Hazzard" is a work of art.  If you never saw it, you would be fine. I think it is a stretch to think it had anything to do with what happened in Minnesota.

Now, I get it about The Confederate flag.  It is a flag of a cause that thought it was a-ok to have free labor. Succession was an amazingly dumb idea only to be almost topped by Jim Crow laws that punished former slaves and their children for being born.

Basically big media companies want to look like they are doing something. What they are doing is saying you are not intelligent enough to watch GWTW or "Dukes" without being transformed into some kind of vile person.

Look, if you object to "Gone With The Wind", don't watch it.   If "The Dukes Of Hazzard" offends you, don't stream it. I don't know why this has to be said.

Maybe we all need to take some Prevagen.

 

Oxymoron: Men's Fashion

Back when I was in high school, I used to watch "The Phil Donahue Show".

You kids have no idea who Phil Donahue is or was.  You "might" (but I doubt it) know that he is the husband of actress Marlo Thomas.  Marlo Thomas. "That Girl".  The daughter of Danny Thomas. Danny Thomas, the comedian who founded St. Jude's Hospital.   Never mind.

Phil Donahue had a daily hourly talk show. Back then, talk shows dealt with important issues like President Nixon (this was a big topic) and when were women finally going to become equal and put their bras back on.  This is unlike today where the topics are President Trump and who is this baby's daddy.

On one show, Phil took time out of railing against President Nixon to interview this guy who wrote a book called "Dress For Success".

This was of interest to me because I wanted to be a success without particularly working hard. I share this trait with some of my younger readers.  I figured why not dress well so people will be blown away by my sartorial splendor and give me lots of money.

I bought the book. Here's what I remember.

1. Short men (like me) need to wear a dark suit with a white shirt, black shoes, and socks.  The tie should be red because it conveys power.

2. Never stick your right hand inside your suit's jacket. It makes you look like Napoleon, the patron saint of all power-hungry hobbits.

3. If your suit has a vest, you should wear it.

4. Never carry an umbrella.

5. Never wear a leisure suit.  This was the 70s and you would not believe how popular and ugly the leisure suit was back then. Everybody had one including President Ford, Johnny Carson, Danny Thomas, and Phil Donahue.

That's about all I remember from the book.  I later found out that in the real world people were more concerned about your grades in college and if you were in a fraternity than if you dressed well. By the time I was 35 years old, the insurance company I worked for threw their dress code out the window, and the dress code became casual.  Not "business casual" which for men means khaki pants and a dark shirt. No sir, it was casual: jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes with socks being optional.

Yes, the office went from business attire to "Saturday at Wal-Mart".

I haven't thought too much about men's fashion recently because thankfully, men's fashion basically stays the same.  It is a little more casual in the business world, but it is not "Saturday at Wal-Mart" like my old office became.

Recently, Dave Barry asked on his blog about bad looks in men's fashions. His readers did not disappoint.

Steve said. "A man wearing a tank top with anything."   I must agree with Steve. My son used to be a tank top wearing guy.  A father can only do so much.

Ckfj said, "The words 'men' and 'fashion 'should never appear in the same sentence, (with this one exception): .. men are to fashion as (blank) is to (blank) ...Hopefully, someone, somewhere, somehow will figure out how to fill in those blanks."  This reader hits the nail on the head.  Even yours truly, with all of my fashion background (reading the book "Dress For Success") had to be told my belt had to match my shoes. I was only a married 34-year-old man at the time. 

Craig said, "We all need to do better with hats. Ball caps are not hats, by the way, and should be worn only when playing ball with the bill facing forward. But I'm talking hats here: fedoras, racing caps, berets. Top hats. Pith helmets. Stovepipe, anyone?"  We do need to do better with hats. Nobody wears hats anymore. I look sexy in a racing cap [Mrs. Blog: "Um, cough"]

There was a guy in my high school class, Hippie Mike, who wore a leather top hat to school every day.  How was not elected President of my class, I'll never know.

Now about ball caps.  Ball caps should be worn bill forwards unless you are a catcher in a baseball game.  The ball cap should not clash with your t-shirt.  In other words, you should not wear a Georgia Bulldogs cap while wearing an Auburn t-shirt. In fact, never wearing an Auburn t-shirt is my number one fashion tip.

Back in the early 70s, every guy had sideburns and some had "mutton chop" sideburns which I thought were the coolest sideburn concept ever. Of course, I was in 6th and 7th grade at the time. The Lord, in all his wisdom, did not give me the DNA to grow mutton chop sideburns, but by the time I grew up and theoretically could grow them, they were out of style.

Men go through a lot of bad looks. The Man Bun.  The Mullet.  The Bald in Front, Long Hair in the Back that makes you look like Bernie Taupin circa 1972.  (Bernie Taupin. Used to write songs with Elton John.  Elton John. Forget it.)

 Unfortunately, we have found the next "new thing" in men's fashion:  Lace Men's Shorts.

If 2020 was men's fashion, it would be Lace Men's Shorts. The idea is stupid, plus, and this is important, they look too stupid for a man to wear.  Men will generally wear any stupid thing (see above, leisure suit) but this is way dumber than the average man.

I have been a male for almost 61 years. Never once did I think, "I wish this was lace".  Even in college.

I wonder what Phil Donahue thinks about this.