The Trump Drinking or Ding-Ding Game

As long as everybody is going to yell at each other, we might as well develop a game.

I just read a Facebook post from Anne LaMott who is another of those Super Cool Christian writers that can say the word "shit" and get away with it.

This is what she partially said in her post.


"The pain, grief and sheer disbelief of a majority of Americans since November 8 can hardly be expressed. This can't actually be happening, but it is. It's On Beyond Zebra. We wake up wondering if, while we slept, Trump accidentally bombed North Korea because he got a little bug up his kadunkadunk at 3:00 a.m. Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner at the helm? Even my Republican friends are sick about Trump and Paul Ryan's draconian and insane budget. Just off the top of my head, they want to cut Meals on Wheels? Meals on WHEELS? It tuns (sic) out that Ryan has dreamed since college about how much food there will be for the rest of us when we stop free handouts to those greedy grabby gobbly sick and elderly people. 

People are afraid on (sic) turn on their phones: what bizarre thoughts and threats has Trump tweeted at dawn? Friends started smoking. Not to mention that everyone has gained the Trump Twelve."

Well.


First of all, it is "badonkadonk" not "kadunkadunk".

Secondly,  how could Trump "accidentally" bomb North Korea?  "WE WERE GOING TO BOMB CHINA BUT WE BOMBED N. KOREA! MY BAD. NOT REALLY". Not meaning to be all smart, shouldn't you worry more about North Korea bombing Japan and oh, South Korea?

Thirdly, about the draconian and insane budget. "Meals on Wheels" is not a federal program. It is a non-profit organization that receives funding from the states in Community Development Block Grants (CDBG) that the feds send out. The individual states determine how much money is given to Meals on Wheels. I'm sure you would be surprised to learn that CDBGs have been used in political pork barrel schemes.

I noticed she mentioned "Meals on Wheels" but not the funding for The Woodrow Wilson Center for International Scholars, which is scheduled to be eliminated entirely.  Oh, the humanity!  How can this republic survive without The Woodrow Wilson Center for International Scholars? I bet the EVIL Paul Ryan has been dreaming of this since middle school!

"People are afraid on (sic) turn on their phones: what bizarre thoughts and threats has Trump tweeted at dawn"  I'm not quite sure where Ann lives, but I haven't noticed anyone afraid to turn on their phones.  In fact, just about everybody I know keeps their phone on all the time.

"Friends started smoking."  Really?  Name one. Seriously, since we're blaming Trump for the pain, grief, and disbelief, it would be nice to know who deals with their candidate losing by reaching for a pack of Pall Malls, especially when they haven't smoked before.  We may not want to put those people next to the door in the airplane if you catch my drift.

"Not to mention everyone has gained The Trump Twelve".  I haven't gained twelve pounds since Trump was elected.  I did gain five pounds due to a milk shake binge I went on last September. Stupid Trump. He tweeted: GO AHEAD ALAN-HAVE THAT MILK SHAKE! (BTW, I MAKE THE BEST MILK SHAKES!)

But I'm not a person to get wrapped around the axle about all of this politics glob. I'm a person of action. So, I have decided to create a game that drinkers and non-drinkers can participate in.

The game is an homage to the "Hello, Bob" drinking game in which the contestants watched the old "Bob Newhart Show" and took a shot when somebody said, "Hello Bob".

There were a lot of "Hello Bobs" in this episode.

The rules are simple, you take a shot or you say "Ding-ding" (for my Baptist friends) when you are watching the news and you hear:

1. The President saying "fake news".

2. If someone says about the budget "People will die due to this budget"

3.  Double shot or ding if they add the word "literally" as in "People will literally die due to this budget".

4. Somebody says, "He says what's on his mind" like it's a good thing.

5. When somebody says "People will die due to the repeal of Obamacare"

6.  Double shot or ding if they add the word "literally"

7. Upon reading there has been a bank robbery in D.C., the President tweets that Barack Obama did it.

8. A celebrity takes five minutes of their precious time to remind you that Donald Trump is a Fascist.

9. The President starts talking about the ratings for "The Apprentice".


Feel free to add your own. Just watch out-you may have to be hospitalized for substance abuse.