The Rules For Social Media Debates

I guess it is going to become a quadrennial post, but once again we must review The Rules For Social Media Debates.

Quick history lesson: Social Media was not much of a presence in 2008 for the Obama versus McCain election. Facebook was popular with kids mainly because it showed co-eds pooching their lips out like ducks. Twitter was out there, but nobody really understood it that much. ("How can I explain my deeply held belief in 140 characters?")

By the time 2012 arrived (Obama versus Romney), parents had invaded Facebook. People finally got Twitter. ("How many cuss words can I write with 140 characters?")  People worried about civility back then.  How quaint.

By 2016, parents had learned that you did not need to share a photograph of your dinner when you could share the same article many of your Facebook friends shared ("Hillary Clinton is Really Married to Sasquatch. DO WE NEED A BIGAMIST IN THE WHITE HOUSE???!!!")

Of course, this lead to another article shared by other Facebook friends ("Donald Trump: My God")

The sharers of the first article would comment on the second article:  "It is amazing that someone with such bad taste in women (Yeah Madge, I'm talking about you!!! You know what you did at that Christmas party!!!) would denigrate a great American like Mr. Trump, who has been able to hold on to a job, unlike YOU!!!"  

Then it would go down hill from there.

Twitter is far worse than Facebook.  Facebook is like a dog barking at you. Twitter is a rabid dog. 

I feel sorry for famous people on Twitter. 

Tom Hanks: "I like toast. Hanx"
Moby Grape: "SHUT THE (BAD WORD) UP!"

So you can imagine what happened to some people this election cycle on Twitter. A lot of it was very, very mean and nasty. ( I saw Very, Very, Mean and Nasty open for Cheap Trick one time.)

These are rules for Social Media Debates.

1.  The people that disagree with you are not mistaken or misguided. They are evil.

2.  It is important to type in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS to win your argument.

3. Don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings. They shouldn't step foot in the Thunderdome if they have pumpkin feelings.

4. By all means, use the F word as much as possible. Nothing wins an argument as quickly as that.

5. If that doesn't work, point out all spelling and grammatical errors.  Because spelling + grammar = TRUTH.

6. Memes are still effective but GIFs are better. (I believe that future generations will no longer communicate by writing. Instead, they will communicate  by continuous GIFs.)

7. Do not worry about making sense or even having facts.

8. Never concede a point. You might die.

9. Describe everybody that you slightly disagree with as poop.  Then make fun of them when they get mad at you.

10. Make broad accusations.

11. Comment as much as possible about politics, leaving out anything that might be personal. ("My wife had triplets, but it was the morning after Trump got elected and I was so mad at the racist homophobic, xenophobic, and ailurophobic goobs  who voted for the Orange Idiot that I neglected to post pictures.  Stupid Mike Pence")

12. Always remember: YOU'RE RIGHT AND THEY ARE WRONG.


Just clip and save to help you through the next election. Or maybe just scroll really fast past the political posts.