Getting Bernt

"A new poll shows that Hillary Clinton is only six points ahead of Bernie Sanders. Today a very confident Hillary said, 'Oh, please. Like I'm going to lose the Democratic nomination to a left-wing senator nobody's ever heard of?" –Conan O'Brien

It has been pointed out to me that I haven't commented on the race for the Democratic Party's Presidential nomination.

Pardon me, but I have a life, you know.

Like most seasoned political observers, I assumed that former First Lady Senator Secretary Hillary Clinton was a lock in to win the Democratic nomination. This is despite the fact that she has the morals of a weasel. ("E-mails? The dog ate my e-mails. Benghazi? It was inspired by a vast right-wing conspiracy.")

Mrs. Clinton is the favorite to the win the Democratic nomination because of her powerful arguments.

One: Isn't is about time we had a woman president? I mean, really. Everybody else has had one, so come on!

Two: It just so happens I'm a woman!

Three: I was born in this country.

Four: Y'all owe me. Big Time. You deal with Bill's "Oh, sugar, she don't mean nothing to me" crap for forty years.

The nomination would be just a formality in prelude for the election of America's favorite gal married  to a total horn dog for political convenience.

Clinton drew, as we say in political observation circles, token opposition. Two of them were kinda/sorta Republicans that dropped out after someone made fun of them on "Saturday Night Live" and another was Martin O'Malley. Where have you gone Martin O'Malley? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

The last candidate was Bernie Sanders, the seventy-four year old Senator from Vermont. He describes himself as a Socialist.

In case you didn't notice, the Millennials are really into Bernie Sanders, even if he does seem like the old man that would yell at them walking through his yard. Maybe they want to go through his record (oops, sorry, vinyls) collection even though they'd probably find only four vinyls and three of them are Arlo Guthrie.

The reason Millennials like Sanders is simple: Millennials are stupid.

It is not their fault. Most young people are stupid and for some reason stupid people are very enthusiastic. They've heard about Team Clinton from their parents and its not a movie they want to see. Bernie is the new thing and he seems cool for an old coot.

Free college? Sure, why not? Just tax Wall Street. Income and wealth equality. Sure, why not? Just tax Wall Street. Rebuild America? Yes, let's rebuild those bridges! How?  Just tax Wall Street. Gah, people, aren't you listening.

Bernie takes courageous stands on some of the world's most pressing issues, like slow internet speed.

His website says, "We are only marginally better in terms of average broadband speed – 12th in the world.  Today, businesses, schools and families in Bucharest, Romania have access to much faster internet than most of the United States.  That is unacceptable and has got to change."  I'm sure this is the fault of the wealthiest one per-cent.

Bernie Sanders even has an opinion on PTO (Paid Time Off).

American workers are being denied a benefit that workers in every other advanced economy already enjoy. Europe, Australia, Canada, Japan, New Zealand … we are the only nation that doesn’t require employers to provide at least 10 days of paid vacation time.

There is no reason for that. Our country is every bit as prosperous as theirs – and it is prosperous because the men and women of this country work so hard.

I’m not asking for the most generous vacation policy in the world. This is nothing like what they get in France, Austria or Belgium. But I intend to push for a standard which befits a great nation.

There is no mention on the website about a National Causal Friday, where it would be against the law to wear a tie on Friday. While he's big on free college and healthcare, he says diddly squat about making sure every break room has some donuts.

I don't think Sanders is going to be the Democratic Party's nominee. It says a lot about Clinton that the old codger is getting any votes.