Gimme Back My Biscuits

Life is so strange when it's changin', yes indeed.- Lynyrd Skynyrd

Just when you thought the New York City soft drink restrictions was an exercise of total governmental tardness, along comes the current controversy regarding Chick-fil-A.

The controversy about Chick-fil-A is this: pickle or no pickle on the sandwiches. There is a “no pickle” movement picking up steam on college campuses that thinks putting a pickle on a fried chicken sandwich is “an insult to the dead chicken” per movement leader Apple Blossom, a Community Arts Woman Studies major at The University of New Orleans (Slidell campus). The “pro pickle” side is headed by former Alaska governor Sarah Palin.

I just made that up. Actually, the controversy about Chick-fil-A revolves around their CEO saying, now get this, I don’t want to shock you, that marriage is between a man and a woman. Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy holds the same opinion that President Wonderful Counselor held at the beginning of the year. It is also the same opinion held by Vice President Joe “Joe” Biden before he started watching Must See TV.

The mayor of Boston told Chick-fil-A that they were not welcomed in Boston because of its views on marriage. He said, “If they need licenses in the city, it will be very difficult -- unless they open up their policies." (He has since “scaled” back his rhetoric when he was informed it is unconstitutional to deny a permit on the basis of what somebody says). Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel said, apparently with a straight face, “Chick-fil-A’s values are not Chicago values. They’re not respectful of our residents, our neighbors and our family members. And if you’re gonna be part of the Chicago community, you should reflect Chicago values”. I guess Mayor Emmanuel is irony impaired. Has he even looked at the latest crime statistics? How is he going to lecture anyone regarding “values” when Chicago is known for graft and corruption? (“And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it is true I have seen the gunman kill and go free to kill again.” Carl Sandburg, 1916)

Various college kids have gotten involved, trying to have Chick-fil-A kicked off of campus. I noticed my son’s college is not one of them. Hail Southern!

The cherry on top of this new story came from Roseanne Barr, of all people. The Huffington Post describes Rick Santorum as a “has been” in a story regarding this issue. If that’s the case, Roseanne Barr is a has-has-has-has-has been. I remember laughing twice at Roseanne Barr in the past twenty years.

Ms Barr tweeted (NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS A WORD MY MOTHER WOULD USE ONLY TO DESCRIBE MY GRADES IN SCHOOL), “Anyone who eats Shit Fil-A deserves to get the cancer that is sure to come from eating antibiotic filled tortured chickens 4Christ”. Now there’s tolerance for you. It should not surprise you to learn that there is a “comedy roast” for Ms. Barr on Comedy Central in a couple of weeks.

I live in the epicenter of Chick-fil-A. There are three Chick-fil-A restaurants within a three mile radius of my house. I have spent a lot of money at Chick-fil-A because I like eating antibiotic filled tortured chickens 4Christ. They taste good. Plus, the milkshakes are great. The help, for the most part, seem like they actually want to serve you instead of being the typical fast food place where the help is just killing time until the recording contract is singed.

About 16 years ago, my denomination, The Southern Baptist Convention, decided to boycott Disney World. Disney had branched out of family entertainment and decided to produce movies which showed why the lady was a tramp. The boycott failed miserably. The reason: the product was just too good. There’s no other amusement park like Disney World.

It is the same with Chick-fil-A. Their product is just too good to boycott. Nobody in the fast food world makes a chicken sandwich like they do. It is simply the best. If you want to quit Chick-fil-A for the latest Liberal cause de jour, that just means there will be more for me. Just let me eat my biscuits in peace.