Like It Or Lump It: "The Diplomat"

 

Welcome to the latest feature of this blog, "Like It Or Lump It," in which we recap a new series on one of the streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, Peacock, Hulu, Paramount Plus, Paramount Multiply, Apple, Disney +, Disney  -, Kinda of Peacock, Amazon Too Cheap To Spring for Prime, etc.

Today we recap: "The Diplomat."

"The Diplomat" stars Keri Russell as Ambassador Felicity, a formidable, no-nonsense Diplomat who solves complex world problems by cussing at them. This is known in the US Foreign Policy community as "Dirty Hair Diplomacy" because it looks like Ambassador Felicity hasn't seen a tube of Prell shampoo in years.

Ambassador Felicity is married to The Man Not In The High Castle, a loose cannon by the powers that be in Washington. He has a lot in common with Ambassador Felicity in the sense they both hate each other. He is an Ambassador too but it looks like he washes his hair.

Ambassador Felicity wants to be sent to the Middle East so she can cuss at some people there, but President Lenny has bigger fish for her to fry.

President Lenny, who reminds you of a particular current President that eats a lot of ice cream, wants Ambassador Felicity to be the Ambassador to Great Britain.

However, President Lenny has instructed his chief of staff to tell the second in command at the embassy, The Big Forehead Man, to evaluate Ambassador Felicity to become Vice President.

This is a prominent subplot in the series because everyone except Ambassador Felicity knows that she is being "vetted" to become the new Vice President, even though she has dirty hair, can't button her blouse, and cusses like a sailor. Just what the American people want in a leader.

However, the big, super-duper plot in the series is finding out which country attacked the British destroyer, The HMS Marmalade, killing 41 British personnel.

At first, it seems like Iran did it, because, hey, let's face it, Iran does things like this. Then, however, Ambassador Felicity points out that Colin Powell said something wrong in 2002, and we spent the past twenty years in Iraq.  So, of course, Iran didn't do it.

Ambassador Felicity figures out who did the attack but I can't tell you because I don't want to spoil it for you. So I will say this:  Lots of things go "BOOM".

"The Diplomat" doesn't answer some critical questions. Such as: "Why do the Brits say "Atall" instead of "At All". I mean, my gosh, it doesn't make any sense. That and calling the trunk of a car "the boot". And don't get me on their calling cookies "biscuits"—no wonder they're no longer an empire.

Basic Information About "The Diplomat."

The Acting:  It is okay. You feel sorry for The Big Forehead Man.

Language: Lots and lots and lots of F-bombs.

Example: Maid: "Would putting F-word milk in your F-word tea, offend you sir?

                 British Man: "Not F-word atall".

Smoking:  This is a big deal because Netflix always warns you if you will see somebody in a show smoking. No worries, chap. Nobody except Not The Man In The High Castle and the Bald Headed British Foreign Minister's Sister . They smoke a joint and then go skinny dipping in a pond because that's what relatives of leaders do in Great Britain during a crisis.

 

 

Sex:  What Ambassador Felicity's husband did with the Foreign Minister's sister was not sex because the husband's manhood doesn't work unless he is with Ambassador Felicity. So it is not adultery if you lost your Mojo and are swimming around naked with another woman. Former President Bill Clinton wrote this scene.

Other General Nekkidness:  You see Ambassador Felicity's hiney. It is not a stunt butt.

 

The Verdict:  This is a show for people vaguely aware there is something called "government" and like hearing people cuss.  They will Like It.

 

Are You Sure Don Would Do It This Way?

 

 One of my favorite TV shows of this century is "Mad Men".

"Mad Men" was about a Madison Avenue advertising agency and its creative director, Don Draper.  Don Draper was a genius because he could come up with a catchphrase ("It's toasted") out of thin air and bed every woman in the Tri-State area because he was, as the girls at Wheeler High School would have said in the mid-'70s, a "hunk."

Don worked at Sterling-Cooper. Roger Sterling was the son of one of the founders, whose primary job was drinking and smoking. Bert Cooper was the original living partner, and his job was to walk around in his socks and quote Ayn Rand.

A subplot during the show was the CEO of McCann-Erickson (an actual ad agency) was always trying to hire Don because Don was such a great, brilliant talent that was a hunk. Finally, during the final season of "Mad Men," McCann-Erickson managed to corral Don but they had to buy Sterling-Cooper to do it. (Actually, they had to buy the agency Sterling-Cooper morphed into: Sterling, Cooper, Nixon, and Agnew.)

One day, Miller Beer came in to give McCann-Erickson a look at their new product: Diet Beer. Don got up and walked out of the meeting. Really. He hopped in his car and drove all the way to California, where he came up with the prize-winning Coca-Cola ad: "It is time to make the donuts."  "I Like To Teach The World To Sing."

(If you were around at that time, you remember the commercial. It showed a bunch of diverse people in the sense that they were all young.  The idea is that if they could teach the world to sing, the world might buy a Coke.) 

Here's what Don missed when he left the meeting: he missed Miller Beer's profile of their potential customer.  The customer was a fat Mid-Western man who drinks beer but doesn't want to gain weight. Beer has been known to do that.

There was nothing about Miller's Diet Beer lifting the Cro-Magnum Man out of his primordial soup and dragging him into the 20th century.

That beer, Miller Lite, had classic  commercials  in the '70s and '80s using the tagline: "Taste Great, Less Filling." Miller made a bundle off their Diet Beer, so much so that the King of Beers, Budweiser, devised their Diet Beer: Bud Light.

Maybe you have heard of it.

Bud Light's sales have been flat, which is never a good term to use regarding beer.  So Anheuser Busch did what major corporations do on occasion-hand the problem off to a graduate of a Ho-Dee-Do Ivy League School, which was their first mistake.

Alissa Heinerscheid, Bud Light's Vice President of marketing, focused like a laser beam on the brand's problem: their existing customers.

Ms. Heinerscheid said, "I’m a businesswoman, I had a really clear job to do when I took over Bud Light, and it was ‘This brand is in decline, it’s been in a decline for a really long time, and if we do not attract young drinkers to come and drink this brand there will be no future for Bud Light."

So far, so good.  The head of marketing is supposed to grow the brand. 

Then, like many intelligent people, she didn't know when to shut up. Instead, she said she had a "super clear" mandate "to evolve and elevate this incredibly iconic brand." She aimed to do this by "inclusivity, it means shifting the tone, it means having a campaign that’s truly inclusive, and feels lighter and brighter and different, and appeals to women and to men."

She finished with this: "We had this hangover, I mean Bud Light had been kind of a brand of fratty, kind of out of touch humor, and it was really important that we had another approach."

Her big idea: hire a Tik-Tok (it's all the rage) influencer named Dylan Mulvaney, who may/may not be a man who identifies as a woman. I can't tell if he's serious or if this is some sort of performance art.

They put Mulvaney's face on Bud Light cans. That was Heinerscheid's big idea to elevate the iconic brand.  Exactly how this was going to happen is anybody's guess.

The only thing that did happen was to generate publicity for Bud Light, but not in a good way.  It looked like just another corporation caving into the woke crowd that gets everything it wants without any type of discussion.  First, they came after our children, and now they want our beer. 

Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth issued a statement that was the word salad we all expect from a modern-day CEO.

He said, "As CEO of Anheuser-Busch, I am focused on building and protecting our remarkable history and heritage. I care deeply about this country, this company, our brands and our partners."

Mr. Whitworth continues: "I am responsible for ensuring every consumer feels proud of the beer we brew. Moving forward, I will continue to work tirelessly to bring great beers to consumers across our nation."

Whitworth said the company and the Clydesdales never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people.

In other words: Blah, blah, blah. Beer. 'Merica. Beer.

Don Draper encountered some moments when he had helped a product like Heinz Baked Beans draw in a younger crowd.  Heinz's idea?  Get The Rolling Stones to sing "Time Is  On My Side," except use the words "Heinz" for "time".

 It is an age-old dilemma: getting young people interested in something that old people do.  It happens in politics, music, and even religion.

The way NOT TO DO IT is the way Bud Light did it. I don't think Draper would have done it this way.

The Venn Diagram Of Trump

 

 

 If there was a Venn diagram of Trump and his 2024 Presidential candidacy, it would look like this:

The first circle would be Trump himself.  If there's one thing Donald Trump likes to talk about,  it is Donald Trump. The boy loves himself, that's for sure.  If he lost the nomination in 2024, I'm sure he'd run again in 2028.  He likes seeing himself on TV and having his name on everybody's tongue.

The second circle would be the MAGA people. These people love Trump almost as much as Trump loves himself. Trump does no wrong except when he listens to "RINOs."  

For example, The New York Young Republicans issued this statement when Trump was indicted by the New York District Attorney for the reason that Trump paid blackmail money to a horseface porn star:

“President Trump embodies the American people—our psyche from id to super-ego—as does no other figure; his soul is totally bonded with our core values and emotions, and he is our total and indisputable champion. This tremendous connection threatens the established order,” The fix has always been ‘in’ against our President, but his motivation and love for the American people drove him to pursue the national excellence that his unique vision perceived lay within our reach. In doing so, he opened so many eyes to reality.”

 Geez, guys. Get a room.

 As much as I like lower gas prices, higher wages, and a conservative Supreme Court, I don't think Trump "embodies the American people" unless skipping the draft, marrying three times, and swearing like a sailor is part of our core values.   

They say Trump is for the "liddle guy."  The guy the hooty-snooty news media do not like because he doesn't need a biologist to define what a woman is.  Trump took on all of the "Swamp Creatures", both the Democratic and Republican (RINOS!) and beat them.  He ran circles around them, and they never knew what hit them.

The third circle, of course, would represent the Democrats.  They need Trump because they have a "Joe problem".

The problem with Joe Biden is that he is way too old to be President and it shows.

His reaction to the awful school shooting in Nashville illustrates it.  First, Joe meanders into a room full of people. Then, instead of commenting on what is on everyone's mind, Joe talks about what is on his mind: ice cream. Here's the official White House transcript.

THE PRESIDENT:  Thank you.  My name is Joe Biden.  (Laughter.)  I’m Dr. Jill Biden’s husband.  (Laughter.)  And I eat Jeni’s Ice Cream, chocolate chip.  (Laughter.)  I came down because I heard there was chocolate chip ice cream.  (Laughter.)

By the way, I have a whole refrigerator full upstairs.  (Laughter.)  You think I’m kidding, I’m not.

Ben, how are you, pal? 

SENATOR CARDIN:  Well.

THE PRESIDENT:  One of the best guys in the United States Congress, Ben Cardin.  (Applause.)

Folks, welcome to the White House.

AUDIENCE:  Thank you.

THE PRESIDENT:  And it’s a delight to have you all here.  And who are those good-looking kids back here?  (Laughter.)

MS. BLAKELY:  Those are my kids.

THE PRESIDENT:  They’re your kids?  All four of them?

MS. BLAKELY:  Yes.

THE PRESIDENT:  Well, stand up, guys.  (Laughter and applause.)

Well, I want you to know, like you, I had two brothers — there were three in our family, three brothers, and one sister.  And my sister is smarter than all of us.  (Laughter.)  Not a joke. 

She used to be three years younger than me; now she’s 23 years younger than me.  (Laughter.)  You know, she managed every one of my campaigns for office, even back when I was in high school.  We went to the same university two years apart.  She graduated with honors; I graduated.  (Laughter.)  And we had a simple rule in the family: Listen to Val.  (Laughter.)  My sister, Valerie, is incredible.

So, guys, be nice to your sister.  You’re going to need her.  (Laughter.)  You’re going to need her.  I promise.

It’s the same lineup.  You’re the oldest?  Who’s number two?  Number two?  Who’s number three?

AUDIENCE MEMBER:  It’s both.

THE PRESIDENT:  You’re twins?  Are you guys twins?

AUDIENCE MEMBER:  No, we’re not twins.  (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT:  Okay.  All right.  Just how — just how it was in our outfit.  Well, I’m so glad to see you all, and thanks for coming with mom.  Okay?

You got to take care of your mom.  Dads are much harder to raise.  But, you know, we’re — (laughter) —

There's a "you think I'm kidding" (why would we?), a "no joke" (true I did not see a joke) and some Las Vegas style banter. (Hey, we got somebody from Maryland in the HOUSE!)

The website I consulted "fact checked" the snarky mean old right wingers saying it was "out of context". The President was there to give a speech to women's summit and it did eventually get around to mentioning the Nashville shooting.  Even putting it "in context", it was odd.

The Democrats know the President is a couple of months away from doing a press conference in his bathrobe and pajamas. You can't run against a young man (DeSantis) or a young woman  (Haley). You have to run against Fatty McNarcissist to have a chance.

Thus, the biggest smiles this week over a poll showing Trump expanding a thirty-point lead over DeSantis were at The White House. The Biden people know they beat Trump once and they will beat him again.

You know who is not in The Venn Diagram. Most people. Trump won in 2016 because he wasn't Hillary Clinton. He lost 2020 because acted like a baboon. Biden won because he wasn't Trump. I don't see how Trump can win the states he lost in 2020.  Even in my beloved state of Georgia, we have little tolerance for that loudmouth loser Yankee.

If Trump is the nominee, will I vote for Trump?  No. 

Will I vote for Biden?  No, child, no