Hug Her Neck

Now we are finally getting to the good stuff.

The Presidential Primary season is just about ready to get underway with the Iowa Caucuses. Can't you feel the excitement!  Wait come back here!

I'm not quite sure how the Iowa Caucuses work and I don't think they've really helped any candidates to the nomination since Jimmy Carter figured out how to goose the process to get him into the news way back in 1976.  Since then the politicians and news people have been schlepping up to Iowa every four years. Thanks a lot, Jimmy.

The Democratic Party held a debate last week and I've come to an unavoidable conclusion.  Elizabeth Warren is a lying skunk. She lies, lies, lies, lies. She lies like a rug.  She's a Fibber McGee, Molly. 

Hopefully, you'll caught the reference

Of course all politicians lie. Some make promises which they know they can't keep. "Read my lips, no new taxes".  "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor".  "Mexico will pay for the wall".  Lying is just a way to get what they want, i.e. your vote.  You can argue that when they said things like "Read my lips" they actually believed there would be no new taxes but that things have changed and we need new taxes.  I tend to be more cynical.  They know what they are saying and they know it isn't true.

Some are really good at it, like Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton turned lying into performance art.  He could lie and gaslight too, at the same time. The man was a master.

My favorite lie of all time was when he pointed his crooked index finger at us and said, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."  He was in his "How Dare You" mode, which was always my favorite President Bill mode.  How dare you think I had sex with this woman when I have this hot mess of babe as a wife.

Now wifey Clinton not so much. I mean, she's an All-Star skunk too.  She could tell some whoppers, but they never made sense. A file just "happens" to show up. A YouTube video causes radicals to storm an embassy.  "Lots" of people have been telling her to run again.

Last week, the Warren Campaign told the press that in a meeting in 2018 with fellow candidate Bernie Sanders,  Sanders told her that a woman could not be elected President.  Which is heresy, Democratic Party style.  It is almost as bad as saying you believe in the second amendment or that a fetus is a human being.

Two people were supposedly in the room for this conversation. Warren and Sanders.  Sanders denies ever saying it.  I believe Sanders.

One, Sanders is the most liberal man ever to run for President of the United States and his campaign is ground zero for all of the woke Twitter universe.  Yes, this man is a Brooklyn version of Donald Trump.

Two, as I said above, Warren lies.  She'll lie to get a leg up on any competition.

She lied about her "heritage" as a Native American. Why?  Because it gave her a leg up on all of her competition in the Academic community.  She lied about being fired when she was pregnant. She lied about sending her kids to public schools. It goes on and on.

She needs to get some separation from Bernie in the "progressive" lane so she made up a "story" (as my mother would say) to get undecided progressives to think Bernie is some sort of icky conservative in disguise. You have to believe a woman.

She took a page from President Bill's gaslighting techniques by staging a stunt after the debate of telling Bernie that he called her a liar on national TV.  (Of course, she's calling him a liar too, but whatever.)

Before you say it, yes, I know Big Bad Orange Man lies too.  But at least, he doesn't go around acting like Saint Liz The Librarian.

My mother used to say when somebody was caught in a lie, "if I loved a liar, I'd hug your neck".  We all could hug Senator Warren's neck.

The Roaring Twenties

Let me be the last to say this: Happy New Year!  Look, I know it is late but better late than never.

It is the start of a new decade. I know there are those of you who go to great pains to announce that the "beginning of the decade" will be 2021.  To this argument,  I offer this rebuttal: Shut up.

Looking at it from my history major glasses, decades rarely start anywhere close to the beginning year of the decade.  The '40s didn't start until December 7, 1941.  The '50s didn't start until Elvis strolled into Sun Records.  The '60s didn't start until November 22, 1963. The '70s didn't start until the Watergate Hearings. You get the idea.

It has been a challenging New Year already.

First, President Trump had Qasem Soleimani "eliminated". Soleimani* was "an Iranian Major General in the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps and, from 1998 until his death in 2020, commander of its Quds Force, a division primarily responsible for extraterritorial military and clandestine operations."   As former Vice President Joe "Joe" Biden would say,  "He was a bad dood (dude)."

This started an immediate dread of World War III because let's face it, Trump doesn't exactly give off the serious, careful, studious vibe we expect from somebody that is going to send our teenagers off to war.

Of course, since Trump did it, we had the Loyal Opposition run to their favorite media sites talking about the process and was an attack from Soleimani really imminent.  Well, for one thing, any time you talk about the process, people are going to check out. Most people seem happy Soleimani is gone.

As far as the imminent argument goes, well, some of that falls back on Trump because (now sit down when I tell you this) is not very precise in his language.  The phone call to the Ukrainian President was so "perfect" it got him impeached.

However, who really cares?  This guy was responsible for the deaths of American soldiers. He deserved being whacked as much as Bin Laden.

Iran responded by lobbing some missiles at an American airbase in Iraq, but nobody was killed and the damage as minimal.

This led to a new conspiracy theory reported by Jonah Goldberg in his G-File.

Suleimani was set up by the Iranians. He was too much of a hothead, growing his own power base independent of the mullahs and making it harder for Iran to get out from underneath sanctions. The Iranian leadership couldn’t stop him from conducting a series of dangerously provocative terror attacks, so they basically gave him to the Americans in exchange for … something. I’m not sure what, but maybe withdrawal from Iraq. 

By burning Suleimani the Iranians lose a loose cannon and gain a useful propaganda martyr. The fact that CIA Director Gina Haspel perfectly predicted the Iranian response beforehand suggests she may have actually negotiated it from the beginning.

Also, something about lizard people.

Looming in the background of all of this is The Bout To Knock Trump Out, the Impeachment of Donald J. Trump.  This impeachment has all of the drama found in a "Gilligan's Island"  rerun except nobody is the Professor and everybody is Gilligan.

If the Democrats were trying to come off as stupider than the 1999 Republicans that impeached President Bill Clinton, they have succeeded.

I don't know much about impeachment, but I do know this: if you are going to impeach somebody, everybody has to be on board. The Democrats simply haven't convinced everybody that Trump needs to be removed, particularly in an election year.

I will note there have already been some very positive developments this year.

One, the New England Patriots will not go to the Super Bowl.  For this, we give thanks.

Secondly, Mike Leach is the new football coach of The Missasloppy State Bulldogs.  Leach brings a whole new level of insanity to the SEC.

Finally, I can make a solid lock guarantee prediction on who is going to win The College Football National Championship:  The Tigers.


*I know Soleimani's name is spelled differently in the quoted Jonah Goldberg piece. Take it up with Jonah.

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