2020 Goodbye And Good Riddance

 

As I have mentioned a few million times before, I majored in History in college.  Therefore, I think I know what History will say about 2020 years from now. 

History will say 2020 was the suckiest year that ever sucked. 

Oh sure, other terms will be used.  Dumpster fire in the middle of a Sharknado with the sharks pooping is one that comes to mind. 

It was one of those years in which everything goes wrong.

Of course, everything didn't go wrong in 2020.  Bernie Sanders was not elected President of the United States. A gigantic meteor didn't hit earth either. Carole Baskin didn't win Dancing With The Stars. Other than that, 2020 was a year "Murphy's Law" was in effect and was in force.

It didn't start off too bad for us. My wife and I went to New York and met actor Ed Harris. We had a nice conversation with him about the movie "Radio".

When we came back home to Georgia, I checked Twitter and learned Kobie Bryant had died in a helicopter crash.

The year took out some of my favorites: John Prine, Jerry Jeff  Walker, and Billy Joe Shaver.  

The year began with a political double whammy.  One was the impeachment of President Trump based on the high crime and misdemeanor that President Trump was President Trump.  After several weeks, the Republican Senate, (surprise, surprise) voted to acquit President Trump. The day after the acquittal, President Trump gave a speech, at The White House, calling the whole thing "Bull (bleep)" on live TV. Nobody seemed surprised.

Then the Democrats held their primaries and it seemed that the long, long, long, long, long career of Joe Biden was finally over but then they realized he was the only candidate that could possibly beat President Trump because all of the rest were unknowns, kooks, and socialists.   They woke Joe up and pronounced him the winner and he stayed in his basement for most of the year.

However, none of this prepared us for that day in March when we heard something called "Covid 19" was really, really bad and would even infect cool people like Tom Hanks.

Somehow, this made people run out and buy toilet paper. 

They shut down small businesses, churches, and synagogues because they were not essential. Target and Wal-Mart were essential.

Schools shut down and parents had to figure out who was going to stay home with the kids and help them on their Zoom classes. There has never been a time in which I was more thankful not to have a kid in school.    

Of course, President Trump provided the calm, reassuring leadership we have come to expect from him. Oh sure, maybe he did, just spitballing an idea, suggest we could inject disinfectant to kill the virus. But the man is a doer! 

We got to know people like Dr. Anthony Fauci who advised us to:

1. Wash our hands for four hours when we touch a door knob.

2.  Wear a mask everywhere, even if you live alone and you are taking a shower.

3.  Social distance! You should shop for groceries, in your car, wearing a mask.

For his part, the Democratic nominee said that he would handle the pandemic differently. Biden said he would:

1.  Tell people to stay inside and wash their hands every five minutes whether or not they touched anything.

2.  Everybody wears a mask at all times. 

3.  Just admit you're going to get it and you will die so go ahead and make final arrangements.

The virus was a persistent little Booger McFarland and various waves came which caused some states like California and New York to still have the strict rules they had in March and April which they said would wipe out Covid, but it didn't because, you know, Trump, and Joe Bob didn't wear mask at the grocery store.

Liberal Democratic politics were strangely immune to Covid 19.  Cletus and them at an Arkansas pool would cause a spike in Covid cases.  People sharing the same champagne bottle after the results of the election was announced didn't. 

As I alluded in the previous paragraph, some people were really excited over the election results. 

If you didn't hear, Joe Biden  and his running mate, Senator Cackle of California, won the election. Of course, President Trump handled his defeat in the gracious way we expected from him by claiming:

1.  He won, by a lot.

2.  There was a lot of cheating .

3.   Republican office holders that certified the election results were actually "RINOS" (Republicans In Name Only) and should have done more to help the President cheat win.  

As of this writing, President Trump still hasn't conceded and there still are some out there that think Trump will still pull out a victory because he's Trump and can declare martial law because he lost an election.

Some reports have Trump running again in 2024 when he'll still be a spry 78 year old like President-I Guess-Elect Biden.  Gee, there's a pleasant thought.

Seriously, things weren't all bad. It could have been much worse and we have a vaccine that's out that will get us back on track.  So cheer up America!  By this time next year, we won't have to wear a mask to take a shower in our home. Maybe.

"The Crown" Season Four Recap

 

A part of my awesome responsibility as a blogger is my duty to comment on various shows on Netflix. (It is somewhere in the fine print, trust me on this).

I have some experience in blogging about TV shows. When I started Humor Me, I did a weekly recap on "Mad Men".  It was season three of "Mad Men" which finds Don bedding another woman in town and Betty finding out Don's real name is Dick.  It was a great season. The boys of Sterling-Cooper started a new firm, Peggy dated Duck, and a man named Guy gets his foot run over by a riding lawn mower.

Then I did a weekly recap of "24", with a lot of help from Dave Barry.  It was more popular than the "Mad Men" recaps when I learned an important lesson about recaps: recap shows that are seen by a lot of people.

Unfortunately, I cannot do a weekly recap of "The Crown", which is the Netflix series about Queen Elizabeth and the gang.  They made only ten shows and you can watch them all in a day if you want.

As a history major, I found "The Crown" interesting because it dealt with something I knew and cared little about: British history.   Sure, I knew all about  The Magna Carta and all that, but you know, big deal, a ball game is on.

Then a few years ago I found out that I am a direct descendant of King Henry VII.  I never thought I'd be royal, but it just runs in my blood.

So when we stumbled on "The Crown" and I got to see what old Cousin Liz is doing.

The first three seasons of "The Crown"  have this one question:  How does the monarchy, which has been in power for 1209 years deal with the rapidly changing times of post-war Britain?

The question in season four of "The Crown" is:  Which one is the biggest douche: Queen Elizabeth or Prince Charles?  (Answer:  Charles by a mile.)

Season four introduces two new characters into the mix.  One is Margaret Thatcher, who was the Prime Minister of Great Britain for eleven years.  The other is Princess Diana.  

Margaret Thatcher is played by Gillian Anderson, so I naturally called her Prime Minister Agent Scully.  (When reading my blogs, you might want to try to remember 90's television.)  

I would say even Agent Mulder would not recognize Prime Minister Agent Scully. They really have her in heavy, heavy makeup where she almost sort of looked like Thatcher. They also had her speak in the slow, ponderous way that would take five minutes to say "Your majesty".  ("Y.........ore......Ma......jes....ty")

You would expect she would get along with the Queen, being a gal and all that. Wrong. Whereas Thatcher was a self made person, Queen Elizabeth was just the winner of the lucky baby club.  This caused friction between the two, particularly in a system where the person with all of the power has to genuflect in front of someone with no power.

"The Crown" questions most of Thatcher's motives because, after all, she is a conservative. She starts The Falklands War because her goofy son was lost in the desert.  She refuses to call for sanctions for South Africa because the same goofy son has business ties there.  "The Crown" goes out of its way to blame Thatcher for some loon that broke into the palace and had a personal interview with the Queen. It supposedly had something to do with Thatcher's "policies", In real life, the Loon has said for years he didn't talk politics or politicians with the Queen.

Basically, "The Crown" holds Thatcher at arms length and treats her with an odd condescending contempt. 

They did a little better with Princess Diana. Emma Corrin plays Princess Diana and they couldn't have found someone who looked more like her.

When Diana first appears, you just want to yell at the TV set "RUN!" because you know she's going to marry Prince Charles and we all know how that turned out.

The marriage of Charles and Diana was doomed from the start because: 1) They had nothing in common  and 2) They hated each other.

It was all fun and games when they had a whirlwind romance which was spurred on by Mummy, Daddy, and Dead Uncle Mountbatten. Before Dead Uncle Mountbatten became Dead Uncle Mountbatten, he wrote Charles a letter stating Charles' booty call days are over and it is time for him to get busy and make heirs for the crown.

The problem was Charles (stop me if you had heard this before) was in love with another woman, who just happened to be married to someone else.  Charles started looking around, discovered Diana, and Bob's your uncle, decided Diana would be a good baby factory for Great Britain.

It didn't take long for Charles and Diana to tire of each other. Diana had trouble adjusting to all of the adulation and fame.  After all, here was this knock-out blonde beauty who acted like a human being, in the Windsor family which was as dull as dish water. As we macho guys would say, Charles outkicked his coverage and she knew it.

Meanwhile, Charles went around walking in that weird hands in the front pockets way of his telling everybody except his mom and Diana, that "Camilla" (the married woman) was the true love of his life. The fact that they both were married and Diana was way better looking didn't even register to Charles. 

In fact, the only way Camilla was superior to Diana was she knew how to tell a joke first told to me by the great Greg Marshall who I can only assume heard it from Camilla.

Charles was just a royal (ha-ha) pain in the butt. He sulked and criticized Diana mainly because she was good looking and had a good personality.  This took all of the attention away from Charles and he didn't like it one bit.

Back in my insurance days, I worked with a lady from England. I asked her if she liked Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, and all of the rest.  She said, "I don't-they're no better than the rest of us and they put their trousers on one leg at a time".

That lady from England was a great American. 

 

We Need A Little Christmas

 

 

 

I am going to admit something very, very shocking.

 I like listening to Christmas music.

There, I said it. That took a load off of my mind. 

I like all kinds of Christmas music.  I like the Christmas carols, of course. Some of them are so well written it would make Dylan/Cohen/Lennon and McCartney green with envy

"Yet in thy dark streets shineth, the everlasting light
 The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight."

 That's just from one song. All of these songs are always there. You can probably name them all. "Silent Night".  Admit it, you always wondered what a "round yon virgin " was, haven't you?

Next are the pop Christmas songs of the Forties, Fifties, and early Sixties, before The Beatles and that old long hair came in and tried to make everything cool. Speaking of which, I know people like "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" by John Lennon.  I don't.   I just imagine (ha, ha, no pun intended) John staring me down saying "So, this is Christmas, what have you done?" with that smug John Lennon face. I don't know, John, just back off and let me enjoy my figgy pudding.

The  Forties, Fifties, and early Sixties songs were drenched in nostalgia. People are dreaming of a White Christmas just like the ones they used to know.

I was raised in Georgia. It never snowed at Christmas. If we were lucky, it rained. 

One song that I like even though it is kind of weird is "Happy Holidays" by Andy Williams.

When I was a kid, Andy Williams was everywhere adults were at. He wasn't quite as boring as Lawrence Welk and those doofuses.  He just seemed like everybody's dad that could sing "Moon River", which is, as a matter fact, wider than a mile.

Here's a part of the song I think is kind of weird.

"It's the holiday season
With the whoop-de-do and hickory dock
And don't forget to hang up your sock
'Cause just exactly at 12 o'clock
He'll be coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney, down!"

I get there is a whoop-de-do at Christmas time.  I'm not sure I know what a "hickory dock" is  and why it goes with a whoop-de-do.  As a personal preference, I prefer to use the term "stocking" instead of "sock" even though I acknowledge a "stocking" is just a "sock" that knows somebody. "Stocking sounds like Christmas. "Sock" sounds smelly.

Additionally, I never knew Santa came down the chimney exactly at 12 o'clock. It is not enough that he flies through the air with a bag of toys powered by reindeers, but he does all of this at the exact time of 12 o'clock?  I'm sorry, even with my limited math and physic skills, I'm not buying it.

There is one song played at Christmas that is very appropriate this year:  "We Need A Little Christmas".

I have done some research on this song. This song came out in 1966 and was part of the Broadway play "Mame".  It seems Mame had lost her fortune in the stock market crash of 1929 and she decides her household "needs a little Christmas" to feel better about life. It was first performed by Angela Lansbury who, right now, as of this writing, is still alive.

This verse:

"For I've grown a little leaner
Grown a little colder
Grown a little sadder
Grown a little older
And I need a little angel
Sitting on my shoulder

We need a little Christmas now!"

If there is ever a year that needs a little Christmas it is 2020.  It practically started with Kobe Bryant flying into a mountain. Then the unending Presidential election in which we selected a 78 year old man who warns of a "dark winter" with 250,000 additional Covid deaths in December in the United States when we've had a total of 272,000 total since last January. Nobody with our ever vigilant Press tried to question him about that figure because they're still dealing with the Trump Circus. 

Covid-19 started with the promise that we would only be in lock down to "flatten the curve" and in some states, oddly enough with the strongest restrictions, still haven't flatten the curve. 

Add to that the unrest, which doesn't cause the virus to spread, and it has been one bummer of year, man.

We need a little Christmas. We need laughter. We need Christmas pageants of little kids wearing towels on their heads pretending to be shepherds in the field. We need bright lights. We need to see The Radio City Rockettes, at least I do.

We need to go see the latest Christmas releases from Hollywood.  We need to see choirs. We even need crowded malls and shopping centers. We need to see little children sitting on Santa's knee. 

We need to stand when the cantata reaches "The Hallelujah Chorus".  We need to hear the people ringing the bells for The Salvation Army.

The Christmas after the 1929 Stock Market Crash had to be bleak. The same with the Christmases of World War II, Korea, and Vietnam.  But there has never been a Christmas, at least to my knowledge, where the government has gone out of their way to be a Scrooge all in the name of your personal safety.

Maybe they are right, I don't know.  I take solace in the words of another Christmas song.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on
Our troubles will be out of sight."

Hopefully, with a vaccine on the horizon, by this time next year, our troubles will be out of sight.

But, like the song says, "Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow".

In 2020, we are going to muddle through. Somehow.

 

Long Live Queen Trudy

One day, I was in my office and my wife came in to show me a picture. It was of a beautiful six month old kitten.  My wife said, "Look at this baby". This began our latest project.

As you may remember, last year we lost a member of the family.

Well, not really. It seems like we lost a member of the family: our 21 year old cat, Gracie.

We got the cat when our son was in first grade. That cat was with us through elementary school, middle school, high school, college, son's first job, and his marriage.  She was with us from Clinton's second administration to Donald Trump's.

That's a long time to have a pet.

Frankly though, it was nice to be petless for a while. 

We didn't have to buy any pet food and I didn't have to clean out a litter box. 

We talked about getting a dog because dogs like humans better than cats.

I think dogs have a deep spiritual side. Your average dog could easily join a Baptist church.  "Are you a sinner?"  "Why, yes I am but I want to be a good boy."   The average cat would probably be a Unitarian. Maybe an Episcopalian.  "Are you a sinner?  (Cat looks around, ignores the question, and goes to sleep.)

Dogs actually like you and they miss you.  When you go to the store and come back it is like the Father greeting the Prodigal Son.  "Oh, I missed you so very, very much. I didn't think you were ever coming home".

When you go somewhere and come back, the cat says, "Were you gone somewhere? My bowl is empty".

Cats have their ways. Scratching.  Gracie literally tore up two couches.  I told my wife we need to get a scratch board or something if we get this cat.

We bought a scratch board and it had some information about cats which is incorrect. 

It says "Cats scratch in order to leave scent marks using the scent glands on the pads of their feet".  This is wrong. Cats scratch in order to tear up your expensive furniture to let people know you can't have nice things.

 Cats also like to show you their butts. 

In the article called "Why Cats Show You Their Butts" Rae Paoletta says  “For cats, it’s normal for them to sniff each other’s butts as a way to say hello or confirm another cat’s identity. It’s hard for us to relate to, but for them, smell is much more important to cats and how they recognize each other than vision is. So cats may be ‘inviting’ us to check them out, or just giving us a friendly hello.”

In summary, cats show you their butts just to give you a friendly hello.  That is ground breaking knowledge!  In other news, a rattlesnake rattles just as a little "howdy-do".

Well, we decided get the cat.  She was a rescue feral kitten. Remember that.

The people that rescued her from a life of feralness gave her all her shots and had her spaded.  Apparently now, they "clip" one of the ears of the cat to let people know she has been spaded.

Her given name was Ivy. She has a brother named Kudzu.  We renamed her Trudy, after Pete Campbell's wife on "Mad Men" because I think Alison Brie is the cat's meow. (Sorry, I couldn't resist it.)

We brought Trudy home and for two weeks she hid from us. 

Feral cats are basically wild animals and have a fear of man. We thought that maybe Trudy had a little too much of feralness in her.  She wouldn't look at me except to hiss. 

I told my wife that we may have to take her back. (The cat-not my wife.) My wife showed me a little video clip where the foster cat mom was petting Trudy.  Then I thought, maybe Trudy just doesn't like us. If you've ever have anything to do with cats, you know they do what they want to do.

My wife began to bribe Trudy with some cat treats.  Trudy came out and allowed my wife to touch and pet her.  Then I came in and after a while, Trudy allowed me to touch and pet her. It was sort of like "The Miracle Worker", except it was with a cat.

The only problem is we have to be sitting on the floor for Trudy to allow us to do this.  For us, sitting on the floor is like planning a vacation.  We have to plan how we are going to sit on the floor, how long we are going to sit on the floor, and how we are going to stand up from sitting on the floor.

But Trudy seems like she is getting use to us.  She likes to sit at the window and watch the school bus. She has a favorite toy. She likes her cat food.  She is purring.  That may not sound like a big deal to you, but three weeks ago, we were not sure of anything with this cat.

I tried to look at it from the cat's point of view. New house. New smells. The feral nature which teaches them to always be prepared for threats. Eventually though, I think this cat will be all right.

She's already showing us her butt.

 

 

Turn Out The Lights

 

“What? Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” - Bluto Blutarsky

 

One of the perils of sort of/kind of writing with a deadline in mind is that sometimes you publish something in which you make a joke about how long it is going to take to "call" the Presidential election and it happens the very next day.  I wonder if Dave Barry ever had days like these.

You might have heard that President Trump has taken his election defeat graciously.  Just kidding. Trump is acting like Trump. He's filed lawsuits alleging voter fraud. Which probably occurred because it occurs in every election. The question is was there enough to change the outcome of the election.

The answer to the question is no, there is not.

Andrew McCarthy of The National Review, which isn't a liberal magazine says,  "Even with the election having been close, we are talking about the need to shift tens of thousands of votes — I’d estimate at least 80,000, and probably more, spread in the right quantities over three states — before the outcome would arguably be in doubt."   

That's a lot of votes to find and they are not there.

The reason for Trump's loss is in his mirror. He was just too much Trump for his own good. 

After Mitt Romney lost to President Obama, there was a lot of talk that Romney was just the latest in the line of Republicans who didn't fight back and were gracious losers. Somewhere after the 1988 election, the GOP lost its mojo and wouldn't punch back when punched. 

In comes Trump who not only punches back but does a whole MMA on his opponent, whoever it may be: a former party nominee, a Pope, a beauty queen, parents of a fallen solider, a senator from your own party.  It didn't matter to him.

This caused a daily drama that frankly wore the country out.  

I'm not saying that a Republican should be a namby-pamby type that accepts all criticisms. For a Democrat to receive Republican type scorn from the national media he has to start a land war in Southeast Asia.   It comes with the territory of being a Republican. However, there has to be some middle ground somewhere between Romney and Trump.

It was nice to hear a Democrat say, "Let this grim era of demonization in America begin to end here and now.".  Especially the Democrat that said, just eight years ago, that Republicans wanted to put people in chains.

It was nice, but Biden has people in his own party wanting to put people on "lists", to make them "accountable" for being Trump's "enablers".

I'm old enough to remember when Nixon had a list and all of the people at the New York Times had a tizzy.

But this is a different time and the people making the "lists" now have a (D) beside their name which makes their intentions pure, clean, and bright.

So forgive me for being cynical, but I'll believe this dawning of the Age of Aquarius when I see it.

Four years ago, "The Resistance" started and featured people going into the streets wearing genitalia hat ware and speaking in glowing terms of blowing up The White House. You had several entertainers publicly fantasize about killing Trump  

I remember Mark Halprerin comparing Trump's election to 9/11.  I remember people arguing on Facebook. I had a person on Facebook tell me that I was the reason Clinton lost Wisconsin, which was a cute trick since I live and voted in Georgia.  I remember one person told somebody on a thread I was involved in to "drink bleach". The Resistance folks were nice people.

This year you have Conservatives putting this message on Facebook:  "I'm Going To Parler"

So, sure, I agree there are those that are in the Five Stages of Grief and haven't left the denial stage. They should. They will. It like the old song Don Meredith used to sing on Monday Night Football: "Turn out the lights, the party's over".

Any-who, the Trump administration will soon be history. It's been fun. It's been real. I'm not sure it has been real fun though.

 

 

 

The 2020 Election: It's Not Over Until It's Over

 

Of course, we just couldn't have a definitive Presidential election. It is 2020, you know. 

At this moment (Wednesday, November 4, 2020), the Presidential election has not been decided because the country that put a man on the moon has lost the ability to count.  Four states are still "too close to call" and there's another one that's been called but President Trump is sending his lawyers there to request a recount.

We could have a result later this week. Or this month. Or this year. Or the year after that. However, we are certain we will have a new President sworn in by the New Hampshire Primary in 2024.

Let's take a moment to review the candidates shall we?

According to historians and political scientists, the reason for the closeness of the election is that "both candidates really suck".

One candidate is President Trump. Maybe you have heard of him.

I know people who don't like it when I try to put a positive spin on President Trump. Here is my positive spin on President Trump:  It has never been a dull moment with the great orange one.   It seems like yesterday when he caught COVID, recovered, and returned to the White House and RIPPED OFF HIS MASK.

However, in BC (Before COVID) the economy was trucking along, doing great.  It looked like this election was going to be another "Hold Your Nose" election and Trump would cruise to re-election.

Then you had the shutdowns, the Depression, Dr. Fauci, Social Distancing, and the five hour press conferences in which Trump and press would get into fights about masks. Then came the unrest, which reminded people of the 60's except the music this time around was a lot worse.

Of course, President Trump is just the type of person you want to calm the nation.  Ha!  Often it seemed like he would search for exactly the wrong word to say in a situation.

The other candidate is former Vice President Senator Joe Biden.

We remember Vice President Biden from his days as Barack Obama's Vice President when he would drop the F-Bomb on auspicious occasions and strategically sniff women's hair. 

Biden ran in a crowded Democratic primary field that included somebody older than him and with more discredited ideas (Bernie Sanders)  It also included a Senator made famous by making an employee dry shave her legs (Amy Klobuchar), and the mayor of the fourth largest city of Indiana, not that there's anything wrong with that (Pete Something).

Who can forget Elizabeth Warren, who for years made a big deal that she was a "minority" because she had a "Native American"  background?  She took a DNA test and it turned she was as Native American as your cell phone.

Despite being 240 years old and occasionally wandering off the campaign trail, Biden was nominated because he was seen as the most "electable".

These were two candidates with very big problems.

For President Trump, his problem was everybody hated him.  

For Vice President Biden, his problem was nobody saw him as a solution. He was elected as a senator from Delaware in 1972.  I was in the eighth grade. 

Vice President Biden only had one positive: he wasn't Donald Trump. However, his party saddled him with a ton of ludicrous stuff that he couldn't put a happy face on. Two years ago The Democratic Party was telling us The Green New Deal was "aspirational", this year they were more specific. More taxes on "the rich". Medicare For All.  Court packing,  You name it and Biden had to mealy mouth around it.

Trump had one positive: he seemed to enjoy campaigning and entertaining his base. Trump has everybody against him. All of the news media. All of the entertainment industry except for talk radio. All of academia. Everybody was against him except his base.

Biden, to me at least, really ran a lazy, lackadaisical campaign. His campaign introduced a new term to the lexicon: "lid"  meaning the candidate would not be making any more appearances. Sometimes the "lids" were before noon.

Trump seemed to be "happy", in whatever way he can be.  Biden seemed to be disheartening, warning us of a "dark winter". That will pick up your spirit.

Still, it is remarkable of the three elderly candidates in the past 25 years (Dole, McCain, and Biden), Biden is the one who will across the finish line as the victor with the help of a compliant news media and an opponent who seemed to do everything to help him.

 

This Week's Picks

 

As the kids say, I am so over the Presidential election.

We have to choose between President Trump and Joe Biden.  However, you know you can vote for the Libertarian Candidate,  Jo Jorgensen.  

Who is that?  Well, she is a Clemson professor of Psychology. Really.   She went to Baylor, SMU, and Clemson, in that order, and has a Ph.d.  She was previously the Libertarian Vice Presidential candidate in 1996. She got bit by a bat back in the summer.

Isn't that something?  A person goes through school, gets a doctorate, teaches at a college and the only thing I can remember about her is that she got bit by a bat.

 

  

This Week's Picks!

 

Jawja vs Kenyucky:  Georgia had a day off last week. They are still going with Bennett Stetson or Stetson Bennett at quarterback.  Kentucky  is a scary team.  I think the Georgia defense is going to a little too much.  Georgia Wins!

 

Our Lady vs Our Bees:  Let's see, Georgia Tech is 2-4 and Notre Dame is 5-0.  To be honest, sometimes the Bumbles don't look that bad.  It just seems like they are over matched. I don't see a Clemson like blow out.  But, Tech will lose.  Notre Dame Wins!

 

Ellesyou vs WarTigers  The year has not been kind to LSU or Auburn.  LSU is just young. I don't know what's wrong with Auburn. There's reports of "infighting", which is not exactly new at Auburn. Auburn should be much better than they are.  I think they can beat LSU. If not, there will be more infighting.  Auburn Wins!

 

Ahia State vs Lions of Nittany:  Justin Fields basically willed the 2020 Big Ten Schedule back to life. He should be right in the hunt for Heisman Trophy and could be/possibly be the number one draft pick in the draft. He gets to prove himself against Penn State. He will. Ohio State Wins!

 

Meechigan vs Meechigan State The next hoop-de-do game on The Big 10 schedule is the Michigan-Michigan State game. Michigan is a 25 point favorite. This is a game Jim Harbaugh has to win. Michigan Wins!

Click 2020

 

 Just your average evening in front of  the television.

"(Voice Over: I'm Donald J. Trump and I approved this message)  President Trump. I bet you're not laughing anymore! Military bigger! Economy almost back to being the best economy ever in the history of the Solar System.  First Lady: Still smokin' hot.  Older sons: Still goofy looking, but one has the best looking lawyer in the country as as gal pal, yeah come on.  Hair: An engineering miracle. Just think what he can do when he has nothing to worry about...."

 

CLICK

 

"Donald Trump invented COVID-19 with the help of the Russians. (Voice Over: Paid for by the Committee to Blame Donald Trump For Everything Because Everything Was Going So Smoothly Until He Stuck His Big Fat Face In It"

 

 CLICK

 

"Kelly Loeffler is a tall drink of conservative water. She's the true conservative in the race unlike the false conservative in the race, Doug Collins, who is not a true conservative like Kelly Loeffler. He is a (music: dun-dun-dun-DUN) LAWYER who sets drug pushing, child molesting, murderers out on the street. That's not a true conservative. Kelly Loeffler is a true conservative.Just in case you missed it: Kelly Loeffler is the only true conservative in Georgia.  (Voice Over:Paid for by the Kelly Loeffler, True Conservative For Georgia Campaign)" 

CLICK

 

"I'm Doug Collins and I'm running for Senate. Yeah, I know you thought I'd be taller. Lookie, I know Kelly Loffer or Laugher or whatever her name is has made a big deal that I am an attorney.  Hey lady, some of us have to work for living. We didn't marry some guy that owns The New York Stock Exchange.  Who does that?  I'll tell you: some tall know it all  Yankee chick that has a voice deeper than that guy in The Oak Ridge Boys who does the 'ompapa-ompapa' on 'Elvira'  I'm not a conservative?  Listen:  I was a conservative back when you were chasing cows for your 4-H Club."

CLICK

 

"Hello, I'm Raphael Warnock, I'm also running for Senate. I'd like to tell you my platform, but since I'm a Baptist preacher, I have some announcements.  There will be a men's prayer breakfast in the fellowship hall this Saturday..."

CLICK

 

"David Perdue. Doesn't he make you sick? He thought COVID was just some big joke and he sold some stock. He lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies and then will lie some more. He just likes hanging out with his fat cat friends and WATCHING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DIE.  But, he does have nice hair for man his age, I'll give him that. Kinda has that Glen Campbell look going. Where was I?  Oh yeah, David Perdue. Pray your vote counts!"

CLICK

 

"I'm Jon Ossoff. You got to elect me to something or I'm just going to keep running and running again. By the way, have you seen my new YouTube documentary on The Mandalorian?

CLICK

 

"My administration was doing everything right and everything was beautiful."

CLICK

 

"Remember The Alamo! (voice over: paid for by the Biden For President committee)"

 

CLICK

 

"If you think I tweet a lot now, you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

 

CLICK

 

"T think I'm supposed to Remember the Maine"

 

CLICK

 

"True. Tall. Blonde. Conservative. Kelly Loeffler.  False. Short. Not Conservative Doug Collins."

 

 CLICK

 

"After the Men's Prayer Breakfast, there will be a Lady's Brunch with the theme 'Fall Into Prayer, Leaf Your Woes Behind'. I'm supposed to tell you that an offering will be taken with the proceeds going to the building fund even though we haven't bought a door knob in years."

CLICK

 

"David Perdue.  My God."

CLICK

 

"Jon Ossoff:  Ewww"

CLICK

 

"You gotta admit, it's been interesting!"

 

Here I Go Again: A Look At The 1980 Election

 Another in the series of the elections of my lifetime.

 

To understand the 1980 Presidential election which saw a former actor win The White House, you first have to understand the '70s.

The first thing to understand about the '70s is that it started out with some really good music on the radio. 

Music with important lyrics like:

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog"

"This cat Shaft is a bad mother"

 "You've got a friend. You've got a friend. Ain't it good to know you got a friend. You got a friend"

And the decade ended with disco music.  

President Richard Nixon won re-election by winning 49 states in 1972.  Then, in a way that can only be described as "Richard Nixon". Nixon resigned from office in 1974 because of The Watergate Scandal which was really boring because it didn't involve porn stars or where the President put a cigar. 

Unrelated to Watergate, Vice President Spiro Agnew resigned from the Vice Presidency in 1973 for taking bribes when he was the governor of Maryland.  In his place, Nixon selected House Minority Leader Gerald Ford.  On August 9, 1974, my fifteenth birthday, Ford became President.

President Ford decided to run for election in 1976. Ronald Reagan, the former governor of California and the former host of "Death Valley Days" ran against Ford in a bruising primary battle. Ford somehow won the nomination.

The Democrats became captivated with the former one term Governor of Georgia, Jimmy Carter.  I have always been immune to Carter's charms. He always seemed sort of mealy-mouth to me. Plus, he was kind of boring. Bob Dole once said "Carter gave a fireside chat and the fire fell asleep."

In retrospect, I can understand it.  Carter with only the second Democratic party nominee since 1928 to have good hair.  History shows that Roosevelt, Truman, Stevenson, Johnson, Humphrey, and McGovern were basically bald headed.  Carter wore Allman Brothers t-shirts. He knew Bob Dylan. He was a Born Again Christian but not like one of those pew jumpers and snake handlers. He told Norman Mailer he didn't care if someone says that really bad word rarely heard in the deacon room.  Plus, and we were reminded about this daily by editorial cartoonists and comedians,  he had a lot of teeth.

So the country kicked Ordinary Jerry to the curb.  People really had high expectations for Carter. By people, I mean entertainment industry, the news media, and other Democrats. Happy Days were here again.

Well, things didn't quite work out. The  '70s economy which was described by leading economists as "sucking" continued to suck.  The President declared a "Moral Equivalent Of War" (MEOW) in regards to "The Energy Crisis". It had something to do with sweaters.

It wasn't all bad. Egypt and Israel decided to signed a peace treaty. Panama got their canal back. But something really bad happened in Iran on November 4, 1979.

The Iranian Hostage Crisis.

Early in 1979, the Shah of Iran was forced out and everybody in the faculty lounge thought this was a good thing. However, he was replaced by a theocratic government led by the Ayatollah Khomeini who was crazy as a betsy bug.  Iranian students stormed the US Embassy, captured it, and held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days.

The Iranian Hostage Crisis coupled with Russia's invasion of Afghanistan made Carter  and the United States look weak.

Then in rode Ronald Reagan.

Yes, he was a former actor, but he was governor of California for eight years and appeared to do a fine job.  

He had a sunny disposition. He was confident.  He spoke clearly and told jokes.

Carter had said America was in a "malaise".  Reagan said America was "a shining city on a hill".

However, he was old. His hair was slicked back with that greasy kid stuff that used to be so popular. He had these weird economic ideas about trickling down. He probably would start a nuclear war, by accident or on purpose.  

He wasn't an intellectual, they said. The Doonesbury comic strip had a series titled, "In Search Of Reagan's Brain".  He was dumb. 

So there you had the template for the Republicans for the next forty years. Republicans are dumb, out of touch, and evil. 

The race between Carter and Reagan, in retrospect, wasn't much of a race.  It mainly consisted of Carter saying Reagan was evil and dumb and Reagan saying he wasn't.

They had one debate that year. Carter said he discussed "nuklur" war with his daughter.  Reagan looked straight in the camera and said, "Are you better off now than you were four years ago?"  The American people looked at each other and realized they were not.

On election day, I worked eight hours and than waited in line two and a half hours to vote. It was the first time I ever voted in a Presidential election.  I voted for Reagan.  I sat down to watch the election returns and Reagan was declared the winner before nine o'clock in the evening. It wasn't morning in America but it was getting there.

 

This Week's Picks 10/17/20

 

 It might surprise you that one of my favorite college football writers is right here in May-berry-etta, Georgia.  His name is John Bednarowski of The Marietta Daily Journal

He said this about the SEC only schedule during this COVID year:

 

"As screwed up as the year 2020 has been, college football, and the way the conferences produced their schedules, has struck gold. Isn’t it a lot better to look up and see teams actually playing quality opponents week in and week out as opposed to a top-10 team paying a program to come be a sacrificial lamb?

An all conference schedule is making teams bring their “A” game every week. No breathers where a team can pick up an easy win over an FCS opponent or a directional school. If a program wants to be the best, it should beat one of the best each time the ball is kicked off. If a conference cannibalizes itself in the process, so be it."

As we say in church, Amen and Amen.

It is great to have a break from the two breather games on the schedule, although it is funny to say Austin Peay University. Sure, you have that one in two million  Appalachian State beating Michigan game but isn't having Georgia versus Alabama a lot more fun?

 

 

This Week's Picks

Jawja vs Bamy. This would be the biggest Mamma-Jamma game of the month even without the big news that Alabama coach Nick Saban has tested positive for COVID-19.  We here at TWP wish Coach Saban the best.  Georgia has a great defense.  Alabama's offense has been very good. It's going to be interesting to see what happens.  I'm not sold on Bennett Stetson or Stetson Bennett on the road, but you never know. The Bulldogs have a history of a solid quarterback coming out of nowhere and winning.  I hate to do this to Georgia, with the Manis Jinx and all, but I'm hopeful in this game.  Yes, I'm going to say it:  Dawgs win.

 

 

 

Bees vs The Best Team In The ACC:  Georgia Tech has been a "leddle bit" erratic this year while Clemson has been a beast.  Clemson wins

 

 

 

Ellesyou vs Lizards: I had a great parody of "Jambalaya" for this slot but the game has been postponed due to ......you guessed it.....COVID-19.   Me-oh-my-oh.

 

 

Our Lady vs Lousyville:  Can you believe Notre Dame is number four in the CFA rankings?  Louisville got beat by Georgia Tech last week.  Notre Dame wins.

 

 

 

Heels Of Tar vs The Semi:  One of the weird things to watch in the past 20 some odd years of College Football is how bad Florida State has become. They are almost a two touchdown underdog to North Carolina.  North Carolina! Fifteen years ago that would have been almost unthinkable. Mack Brown has them back.   Tar Heels win.

 

 

If You Think 2020 Is Bad, Try 1968

 Another in a series of posts about Presidential Elections in my life time.

 

You had to be alive in 1968 to understand what a hot dumpster fire 1968 was-it makes 2020 look like a day at a non-socially distance beach.  In fact, you can take all of 2020 and it would be just like one week of 1968.

One influential historian (Dave Barry) argues that the 1968 Presidential election was the culmination of a long series of "bummers".

First, President Kennedy was murdered in a motorcade in Dallas on November 22, 1963 by either a lone gunman, twenty gunmen, the CIA, the FBI, the Mafia, Cuba, Russian, or The South. The Kennedy Assassination started a new cottage industry:  The Conspiracy Theory Industry.

Lyndon "Baines" Johnson became President. As stylish, handsome, and charismatic as Kennedy was, Johnson was the exact opposite. His wife was named (this is true) Lady Bird.

While Johnson accomplished a truck load of things Kennedy didn't even dream of doing, he got the country bogged down in Vietnam. You may have heard about the Vietnam War. It was in all of the papers.

Vietnam tore the country apart. The servicemen of World War II came home and their wives boomed out a generation of kids that wouldn't go. They burned their drafts cards, had sex with anything that moved, took drugs, and wrote some really bad songs. (Example:  "The sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside. Ugh")*

Add to that the racial tension which was exacerbated by the murder of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Sprinkle on top the changing role of women (they got their own cigarettes, "Virginia Slims" which Steve Martin said had breasts), the sexual revolution, "that old long hair" (boys started to grow their hair out long which my dad thought was the root of all evil) and color TV.  Everything was changing, fast, and not for the better.

Finally,  something called "Yoko Ono" started hanging around one of The Beatles.

The 1968 Presidential election started out being the re-election campaign of President Johnson. To cut to the historical chase, Johnson dropped out of the race.  This caused Bobby Kennedy to jump into the race for the Democratic nomination. With 1968 being 1968, of course, Bobby Kennedy was murdered.

The nominee of the Democratic Party in 1968 was Vice President Hubert Humphrey.  He did not run in a single primary.

How to describe Hubert Humphrey?  Imagine if Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig had a baby. That is Hubert Humphrey.   He talked extremely fast and said "pleased as punch" a lot.

The biggest problem for The Democrats came at their convention in Chicago. Hippies and Yippies (think of an even more annoying brand of hippie) descended on downtown Chicago and the police opened up a can of whoop-ass on them.  It was captured on TV and we had to suffer through a couple of more years of bad songs about it.  Democrats were practically shooting double birds at each other and the mayor of Chicago dropped on F-bomb on the Senator from Connecticut (which is something you didn't hear on "Gilligan's Island") during live convention coverage**.

The Republicans were a little calmer. They nominated former Vice President Richard Nixon because "Nixon's The One".  At the time it seemed like a good idea  Nixon's running mate was something called "Spiro Agnew".  Again, it seemed like a good idea.

With the nation coming apart of the seams, one key element was missing: Rednecks!  George Wallace ran on the American Independent Party.  He was a goober lipped dog breath guy, but he could coin a phrase like "Pointy-headed bureaucrats" and there was not a "dime's worth of difference between the Republican and Democratic parties".   He definitely would be canceled now days.

Nixon said he had a "plan" to end The Vietnam War. He wouldn't reveal his big plan because if he did, then everybody would know his plan. Duh! How hard is that.

Humphrey had an image as being a lap dog for Johnson, mainly because he was one, but towards the end of the campaign, Humphrey broke with President Johnson. Humphrey had a plan too but he spoke so fast nobody understood it.

The race was Nixon's to win, but with this being Nixon, it began to tighten around election day.  To show you how divided the nation was, my fourth grade teacher wore a sombrero on election day and said "Viva Nixon", while my dad voted for Hubert Humphrey. This was despite Humphrey's lack of clarity of the "old long hair" issue 

Nixon won. Barely.  George Wallace got a lot of votes that probably would have voted for Nixon. Wallace won a couple of states too.  The nation breathed a sigh of relief knowing a smart, competent, and honest man was going to become President.

 Well, two out of three ain't bad. 

FOOTNOTES:

 

* "Signs" by the Five Man Electrical Band. It came out in 1971. So sue me.

**The above Time Magazine cover shows Chicago mayor Richard Daley swearing.

This Week's Picks 10/3/20

 

So, how was the first week of The SEC for you?

Except for nobody in the stands, no cheerleaders, and no bands, it was the same SEC football we've seen over the years.  Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see any sloppy play.  

I'm just glad college football is back.

This Week's Picks

 

Jawja vs WarTigers:  Last week, UGA had a scare at Arkansas. Yes, you read that right: Arkansas.  It seems UGA has quarterback problems.  Jamie Newman, a Wake Forest grad that had one more year of eligibility, decided to come play at Georgia. Then "The COVID" hit.  Newman decides just a few weeks before the season was to begin, to "opt out".  So, UGA was left with D'wan Mathis and Stetson Walker Norris Vestibule Bennett IV because the other transfer, J.T. Daniels was injured.  Mathis started and in Southern terms his play could be described as "Bless his heart".  Bennett came in and the game turned around and the Dawgs played like the Dawgs.  Daniels might start against Auburn. He might not.  This pains me to say this, but the uncertainty around the quarterback position leads me to say this: Auburn wins.

 

Lizards vs Chickens:  Don't look in your rear view mirror but here comes Florida. South Carolina is South Carolina.  Florida wins.

 

Ags vs Bamy:  Texas A & M is playing Alabama. I just don't buy the Aggies are going to compete against Alabama.  Bama wins

 

 Upright Walking Bulldogs vs  Oinkers.   Well, well. Mississippi State shocked LSU last week.  We better keep an eye on them and Pirate Mike.  Poor Arkansas, I don't think they stand a chance against Mississippi State. Mississippi State wins

 

Ellesyou vs Commode Doors ;  Well, it was fun while it lasted LSU.  It is going to be interesting to see how they handle not being so special this year.  Even so, I think LSU wins this one, by a lot.  LSU wins

 

 

This Week's Picks 9/26/20

 

 Let's be honest.  This weekend is the REAL start of college football.

I know I'm a Southerner and that makes all of my opinions stupid. SEC Football is just better than any other conference and it has been that way for a long time. That's just a fact, Jack.

THIS WEEK'S PICKS

Jawja vs Piggies:  UGA drew Arkansas for its first game.  The Swine haven't been too good in the past couple of years. Hopefully, they can get back on track. It won't be with game.   UGA wins

 

Wrecked vs Erenge Man: Georgia Tech looked real good against Florida State but not so good against  Central Florida.  This is how bad Syracuse is: it is an 8 point underdog against Tech. At home.  Even The Manis Jinx can't hurt Tech this week.  Tech wins.

 

Kenyucky vs WarTigers:  One of my favorite people in the world of sports is Charles Barkley. Here's what he said: “Oh, listen, things are never that bad — we’re going to kill Kentucky,  I’m worried about Georgia the next week. Come on, man. This is not basketball. We’re not going to worry about Kentucky in football."  That's good enough for me.  Auburn wins

 

Lizards vs Ole Mess:  One of the problems with this COVID-19 stuff  is that we could not focus on the fact that the state of Mississippi has two new high profile head coaches. Ole Miss has Lane Kiffin, which should be interesting. However, Florida is just a better team.  Florida wins

 

Rocky Topped vs Fighting Game Birds:  You can't start out as bad as Tennessee last year, losing to Georgia State and then finishing as strong as they did. You never know with the Vols or the Gamecocks. I'm going with Tennessee simply because there is a kid from Marietta on the team.  Vols win

 

Other Bulldogs vs Ellesyou:  Mississippi State has the other high profile coach and that is Mike Leach. It will be a wild time in Stark Vegas this year.  LSU will probably have a rebuilding year after the monster year they had last year. LSU also has a kid from Marietta on the team. LSU wins

 

Presidential Elections I've Survived: 1960

  

Between now and November 3rd, I will be reviewing some of the Presidential elections of the past sixty years.  Using, of course, the historical brilliance instilled in me at Kennesaw State University (motto: "Hey, we're just off of I-75") and my wonderful wit that has propelled this blog for the past eleven years.

I'm not going to review all of the them.  Some of them were real snoozers, like 1984 when Reagan whipped Mondale or 1996 when Clinton returned the favor on Dole. I would like to note that Reagan basically wrapped up the election when in a debate with Mondale he said, "I am still younger than Joe Biden".

I am going to start with the first one: 1960.  

Dwight Eisenhower was the President. Everybody liked Ike even though they didn't know why they called him "Ike".  He was a General in World War II and defeated Hitler with a plan he devised called "D Day".  This made Ike aces with everybody in 1952 and he easily defeated Adali "Bald Head" Stevenson to win The White House.  In fact, Ike won twice because the Democrats nominated Stevenson again because nobody else really wanted to run. (History records Stevenson thought he was something special because he had read a book.)

But by 1960, Ike was seen as old (he was around 70, still younger than Joe Biden), out of touch, and dumb.  Over the years, the entertainment/news/academic folks would use this template to describe Republican candidates and Presidents.  Republicans are either out of touch (see Dad Bush) or dumb (see Kid Bush).

The culture was changing too. In the mid-50's a new style of music called "crap"  "rock and roll" became popular with their challenging lyrics about falling asleep at the drive in which caused girls to scream.  But by 1960, there was a new style of music called simplistic college drivel "folk" which was popular with a new creature called "Beatniks".  Beatniks were sort of like hippies except they bathed twice a week and instead of clapping they snapped their fingers.

Folk music is epitomized by the song "Tom Dooley"

       "Hang down your head, Tom Dooley.

        Hang down your head and cry.

        Hang down your head, Tom Dooley

         I like saying Tom Dooley.

        Tom Dooley, Tom Dooley, Tom Dooley"

In 1960, the Democrats resisted the urge to one more time go with Stevenson and selected John Kennedy of Massachusetts as their nominee.

Kennedy was around 42 at the time of the election, the same age Joe Biden was in 1985.

He (Kennedy, not Biden) ran on a platform of getting America moving again, because we had grown lazy in the Eisenhower years of peace and prosperity.

Kennedy had some problems.  One was his youth. Back then, people expected their Presidents to have some gray in their whiskers.  Two, he was a Roman Catholic and people expected Roman Catholics to follow the precepts of the Church unlike today where you can be a Roman Catholic and believe in abortion and animal sacrifices. 

Kennedy handled the religion question by saying he was going to nail every woman he met, kind of like that hot shot ad guy, Don Draper.  He didn't say that exactly. He basically said, "Don't worry about it" and because he was so handsome and charismatic people gave him a pass. 

Because of the 22nd Amendment (source: Wikipedia), Ike couldn't run again and the Republicans did the next best thing and nominated Vice President Richard "Tricky Dicky" Nixon.

Although Nixon was only a couple of years older than Kennedy, he was seen as more experienced having served as Ike's Vice President.

Whereas Kennedy was a rich kid whose dad bought his way into "Havarh", The House, and Senate. Dad Kennedy also bought a Pulitzer Prize for John's book "How To Score With Women"  "Profiles in Courage", Nixon was a poor kid that worked his way up the ladder despite having the personality of a lizard.

Campaign 1960 was Kennedy running around making the girls swoon and promising to bring "vigah" back to the country. The compliant news media translated "vigah" to "vigor" even though in real life (IRL for you texting kids) Kennedy was sort of puny with all sorts of medical maladies. 

On the other hand, Nixon made this goofy promise to campaign in all 50 states which took time away from the important states he had to win. Additionally, Nixon whacked his knee on a car door, which led to an infection which he had to be hospitalized for two whole weeks. (Only one of the weeks were paid for by Nixon's PPO.)  This led to something important that we still have today, unfortunately.

THE DEBATES

History makes a big deal about the debates. Nixon, just coming out of the hospital looked wane and sweaty.  Plus, his knee was still whacked and he had to adjust by shifting from one leg to another.  This is important:  Nixon refused to wear makeup.

Kennedy looked poised and healthy and almost spoke clearly enough where you didn't need subtitles. This is important: Kennedy wore makeup.

If you look at it now, on YouTube.  Nixon doesn't look that bad and Kennedy doesn't look, as they say in the History lounge, like all that.  In fact, Kennedy kind of cocks his head looking like a dad that is taking a selfie for Facebook. 

The narrative through the years has The Debates as the deciding factor in the close election. That could be true if you discount rumors of voter fraud in Texas and Illinois.  Kennedy won. Nixon internalized his defeat and would later comeback in 1968 a half a bubble off plumb.

Add caption

This Week's Picks 9/19/20

 

Well, well, here we are again.

To be honest, I hadn't given a lot of thought to the 2020 College Football season.  It looked like there wasn't going to be a College Football season at all.

However, after a lot of dillying and dalling, it looks like all of the Power Five conferences are going to have some type of football season.

This is going to be a different year for TWP.  For one, my beloved Kennesaw State Owls aren't playing this year because of a bunch of nancy pants because of Covid-19. The ACC and SEC will not play each other during the regular season which means there will be no Georgia versus Georgia Tech game this year.

I watched the Georgia Tech-FSU game and on Faceback identified the FSU quarterback as a true freshman, which was in error. It was the Georgia Tech quarterback that was a true freshman.  I am already in mid-season form.

This Week's Picks 

 

Yinzers vs Cuse:  Here's my deep football thought.  How can Pitt and Syracuse be in the Atlantic Coast Conference when neither one of them are on the Atlantic coast? Pitt is ranked. Syracuse isn't. I'm going with the Panthers.  Pitt wins!

 

Central Florida Men vs Bees:  I thought FSU would beat Tech last week, but I wouldn't have bet on it. FSU ain't what she used to me.  I think Tech can win.  I want Tech to win. However, if I pick them to win, they won't.  Christmas comes early to The Buzzy Boys.  UCF wins!

 

Atlantic Owls vs Benny's School:  Since Kennesaw State is not playing this year, I have to go back to my other old team, the Eagles of Georgia Southern (school motto: "Officer, I thought it was water"). I've sent a lot of money to my son's alma mater and the least they could do is beat Florida Atlantic.  They will.  Eagles win!

 

The U vs The L: To be honest, I've come to dislike both schools. Miami, I guess. 

Driving Old Dixie Down

Like a lot of people my age, I like what is now called "Classic Rock".  Simply put, "Classic Rock" are songs that were played on the radio when we were kids.

Back then, you were either a music guy or a lyrics guy. If you were a lyrics guy, you sat around and tried to figure out what the songs meant.  You cannot imagine the hours I've spent trying to figure out Don McLean's "American Pie".  I no longer wonder what McLean meant because he once said, "What does American Pie mean?  It means I work only when I want to"

The most misinterpreted song of all time is Bob Dylan's "Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man".  I always read and heard that it was about a drug pusher.  News flash:  it was about a musician Dylan worked with that played the tambourine during a recording session.  That's not to say old Bob wasn't on drugs when he wrote the song.  There was a good four to five years he was on drugs 24/7.  He's probably on drugs 24/7 now, but it is  maintenance medicine, not the recreational kind.

We have a new entry in the misinterpreted song contest and that is "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by The Band.

I'm sure you haven't thought about that song in years. But apparently some people have. These people have decided it needs to be changed (a singer has rewritten the third verse to bring a song about 1865 written in 1969 more up to date) or "canceled".  Being "canceled" simply means withdrawing support from something because it is offensive and/or public shaming.

Here are the lyrics of "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down".  Read them if you dare!

Virgil Caine is the name
And I served on the Danville train
'Til Stoneman's cavalry came
And tore up the tracks again
In the winter of '65, we were hungry, just barely alive
By May the tenth, Richmond had fell
It's a time I remember, oh so well

The night they drove old Dixie down
And the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the people were singing
They went, "Na, la, la, la, na, na
La la, na, na, la, la, la, la, la"

Back with my wife in Tennessee
When one day she called to me
"Virgil, quick, come see
There goes the Robert E. Lee"
Now I don't mind choppin' wood
And I don't care if the money's no good
You take what you need and you leave the rest
But they should never have taken the very best

The night they drove old Dixie down
And the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And all the people were singing
They went, "Na, la, la, la, na, na
La la, na, na, la, la, la, la, la"

Like my father before me
I will work the land
And like my brother above me
Who took a rebel stand
He was just eighteen, proud and brave
But a Yankee laid him in his grave
I swear by the mud below my feet
You can't raise a Caine back up when he's in defeat

The night they drove old Dixie down
And the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And all the people were singing
They went, "Na, la, la, la, na, na
La la, na, na, la, la, la, la, la"

The night they drove old Dixie down
And all the bells were ringing
The night they drove old Dixie down
And the people were singing
They went, "Na, la, la, la, na, na
La la, na, na, la, la, la, la, la"

 

Here's what one writer said:  ".... that when you love a song, you tend to love all of it. When you take pleasure in “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down,” you’re identifying with the melancholy and the loss of that Southern white guy, and feeling his sadness because he can’t own people any more."

It seems the ringing bells and singing people because Dixie was driven down does not make an impression on this writer.  Plus, and this is big for me at  least, point where Virgil Caine expresses sadness for not being able to own people.

There's more.  "For The Band, the Confederacy was steeped in heritage, not hate. There’s no mention of Black people, no indication that Caine’s “rebel stand” was to fight for white people’s right to enslave, torture, rape, and murder Black people at will. Virgil Caine might as well be a non-Jewish German lamenting the fall of the Reich. At best, the song is clueless. At worst, it’s a conscious, bad faith celebration of white supremacy."

 Fair enough.  I agree there's no mention of the evils of slavery. That may make it "clueless".  But, to be fair, this is a song, not a term paper. Robbie Robertson (the writer of the song) was writing about one person, a poor farmer from Tennessee that was conscripted into The Confederate Army. Calling the song "a conscious bad faith celebration of white supremacy" is just stupid on steroids. 

Back when I was in college, there was something called "Literary Criticism" that was used to interpret poems and stories from history.  Here is why I don't think "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" is a song we need to flush down the memory toilet of time.

The Writer: The songwriter is Robbie Robertson, a Canadian whose mother was a Cayuga/Mohawk Indian and father was Jewish.   

His Musical History:  He has no other songs that express any kind of admiration for the Confederacy.

The Song History: The song was on The Band's second album. It became a hit on the radio by Joan Baez,  FYI, Joan Baez performed at The March On Washington in 1963 and is not what you would call a "conservative" person.  The thought she would record a song that glamorizes racism is laughable.

The  Time The Song Was Written:  The song was written in the late 1960's and there was a little thing called The Vietnam War going on.  While there was a draft, the rich kids figured out ways to serve in the National Guard (see; Bush, George W) or keep their student deferments by going to college.  The kids from the middle or lower classes were often sent over to Vietnam.  Virgil Caine would have been in that group and you can see "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" as a companion piece to Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son".

The Song Itself:  There is one glaring historical inaccuracy in the song.  There's no record of Robert E Lee ever going to Tennessee in The Civil War.  However.  Virgil isn't impressed with Lee. He says "they should never taken the very best":  meaning his brother for such a worthless cause.

Again, I go back to the chorus. The bells are ringing and the people are singing because Old Dixie was driven down.  Robertson is saying that is a good thing. And it was.

I appreciate people can have opinions. But even in the liberal arts there are things known as "facts", maybe you have heard of them. The late Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan once said "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion but not to his own facts".  The people pushing the idea that there is something nefarious about this song are pushing their own set of facts.