Blow Up Your TV

We did it!

We finally upgraded from our old, out of date, obsolete, antiquated, ancient, antediluvian, antique, dated, dinosaur tube TV set to a brand spanking new Smart TV.

I remember the time when the TV set was an actual dumb piece of furniture and had to be delivered by two men. Some TV sets had stereos included!

It may come as a surprise to you that the humble Manis family had one of the first COLOR TV sets in Beverly Hills. (Our subdivision in East Cobb not the city in California.)

You would not believe what a big deal they made out of COLOR TVs. You could see "Gomer Pyle, USMC" in COLOR!  (Like it would have made a difference.)

Now we were not pretentious. We had a simple COLOR TV, not one of those monstrosities that had the stereo included which had to be delivered by a crane. Nope, we had a simple COLOR TV.

It came in handy when I made my television debut on "The Popeye Club" as "kid in white shirt sitting in the third row."

When it comes to children's television, I rank "The Popeye Club" as number one because:  it was a local Atlanta show and they didn't try to teach kids to become Democrats.  It was just a guy (Officer Don) and a dragon (Orville, who was green). Office Don would have the kids play some games like "The Ooey-Gooey Bag" and watch Popeye cartoons. It was great.

You actually had to "turn the channel" to find something to watch. In the Atlanta area, you had the choice of 2. 5, or 11. If you thought you were better than everyone else, you could turn the channel to channel 8, which was the "educational channel".

Having a color TVwas a big deal because in a few years you could watch "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In".  Kids today have no idea how big this show was and how much parents hated it.  It was dancing, corny jokes and catchphrases like "Here comes the judge", "Very interesting", and "Sock it to me"

It may surprise you that Marion and Inez (my parents) were not too keen on "Laugh-In".  Mom didn't like what she called "silliness".  My dad thought everybody associated with "Laugh-In" came from another planet, if not from another solar system.

So when "Laugh-In"  was on, the COLOR TV set was on the show God wanted us to watch: "Gunsmoke". That meant I had to watch "Laugh-In" on the old black and white set in my bedroom. I remember this one particular skit:

Ugly Lady (sitting on a park bench)

Dirty Old Man (walks up and sits next to the Ugly Lady):  "Say, do you believe in the hereafter?"

Ugly Lady: "I most certainly do"

Dirty Old Man:  "Good. Now you know what I'm here after."

Ugly Lady (hits Dirty Old Man repeatedly with her purse).

You can't imagine how funny that was in 1970.

All through the years, I have followed the changes in television.  First, it was cable. You went from five channels to four hundred, with half of them being either Spanish channels, Shopping channels, or preacher holding microphone channels.

Then it was VCR. You rented VCR tapes at a store, usually a Blockbuster. I can't tell you how many times I have yelled at a pimple faced kid about charging me a late fee for a return and having him remove the fee. For some reason, when I got home I would remember that I did return that movie late.

Time marches on and soon Blockbuster only rented DVDs and you had to buy a DVD player. which I did.

Then, God and his mercy provided something called On Demand for your cable package and you no longer had to go to Blockbuster to rent a DVD.

Now there is something called "streaming" and don't ask me to explain it. There are services like Netflix and Amazon Prime which streams movies, old TV shows, and original programs via a "Smart TV" which is the type of TV we bought.

We have already watched the two seasons of  "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" on Amazon Prime. It is about a young divorcee who stumbles into becoming a stand-up comic in the late '50s. It is a very funny show. It has several historical lapses, like having Bob Newhart becoming famous two years before he became famous and people dropping F-bomb like they were in a Martin Scorsese movie.

We have also finished the first season of "Stranger Things" on Netflix.  I know, 2016 called and it is looking for its Pokemon Go.

I can't describe what "Stranger Things" is about except it is about some kids on bicycles and monsters. It is sort of like "Twin Peaks" but without the dancing midgets. I liked "Stranger Things'.

I  paid to have the store where I bought the Smart TV to come out and install it in my house. I was pretty sure if I attempted it, I would somehow set the house on fire.

They sent only one man. He set it up in 30 minutes. He didn't even bring a crane.

The People Speak On Fast Food.

Last week, the topic was fast food joints.

This week, the topic is fast food joints.

Yes, a multi-week treatment on the same topic. Don't try this at home kids, I'm a professional. (Actually, I'm not, but people have paid me for my e-books, which by the way, are still for sale.).

I decided to do what all great media outlets do now: go to social media to see what "the people" think if by "people" you mean those that respond to questions on social media.

I placed this question on my Facebook page: "What’s your favorite fast food restaurant that’s not named Chick-fil-A? Please tell why. Also, your least favorite and why." 

I was genuinely interested in what my Facebook friends favorite fast food restaurants were and I am also convinced Chick-fil-A is the best fast food restaurant around. The reason is simple: their food is great and their help is good.  I've heard complaints about their "forced and insincere" response to thank you ("my pleasure"). I'll take a forced and insincere "my pleasure" over a sincere mumbled "no problem" any day.

I'm happy to say my nephew Robert was the first responder and one of the few that answered the question in full.  He said, "Cookout is my favorite fast food restaurant, because they have good bbq, burgers, and shakes. Least favorite would be McDonald's, I don't think I have to state why."

Cookout is a relatively new restaraunt and their hamburgers are very good. You also get a lot for your money. Which is probably the reason they seem to be around college towns.  The first time I heard of Cookout is when my son was in school at Georgia Southern University (School Motto:  "It is Five O'Clock somewhere")

My Son:  "Dad, there's a great place in Statesboro called Cookout."
Me:  "Why aren't you studying?"
My Son:  "I've graduated."

Scott Hardesty, who is one of the funniest people of Facebook said, "What-A-Burger (or as it's pronounced in Texas, "Waterburger") I always get a triple meat and cheese on a heart-healthy wheat bun."

 

I knew as soon as I posted my question, one of my Texas friends would mention Whataburger.  There is one Whataburger in Georgia. Thomasville.  Forty billion people in Atlanta and you put your only restaurant in the state in Thomasville, which is the second largest city in Southwest Georiga with a population of 18,515.  

As a heads up to the Cathy family, Randy "Tater" McArthur says this about Whataburger's breakfast menu: "The "Waterburger" chicken biscuit with honey butter melted on it is to die for. Just don't try to eat them driving. Will make you forget Chick fi la's name"  

 You ought to pay attention to Randy "Tater" McArthur when it comes to driving. He once drove a Chevelle halfway up "The Sky Slide", which was a big blue slide we had in Marietta, Georgia in the 60's.  Randy "Tater" McArthur will not confirm if alcohol was a factor in deciding to drive a Chevelle halfway up The Sky Slide.

Another not-in-Georgia restaurant is In-N-Out.  It must be something because I see people wearing their t-shirts all of the time. I hear people talking all of the time that it is the greatest hamburger of all time. The nearest In-N-Out is in Texas.  Does that seem fair to you? 

The fabulous John Spiller wrote: "What about the V? Cause we all need a dose of vitamin G! Better than most laxatives". Spiller (or as his friends call him, "Spiller") is talking about The Varsity, which now has several locations in the Atlanta area. The mother ship is in Upper Mid-Town Atlanta across the Interstate from Georgia Tech.

The "vitamin G" he mentions is grease, which all Varsity "o-rings" are drenched in. Besides being called "The V", The Varsity is also referred to as "The Greasy V".

All of this grease does terrible things to the insides of your tummy  I do not recommend long car trips (i.e.: any car trip longer than three miles from your favorite toilet) after eating at The Varsity.  I can confirm, however, that physicians are not using a Varsity Chili Dog and Onion Rings as a prep to clean patients out for a colonscopy.  At least not at the present time.  

Another friend, Jim "No Relation To Paul) McCartney mentions two Boston area fast food restaurants I had never heard of before:  Clover and BGood. As a part of my commitment to journalism, I took it upon myself to research these two restaurants.  In other words, I looked up their menus on Google.

BGood looks like a restaurant I would go into.  They serve "craft burgers" (what this means, I don't know, but I assume it is good for you). Their website says, "We want our food to be the roots that connect community and inspire goodness".  I must admit it is classier than the Varsity website which says, "We want our food to go through you very, very fast".

Clover is a true healthy fast food restaurant. They serve something called BBQ Seitan.  I have never heard of Seitan, much less BBQ Seitan.  Jim provided me with some information.  "Seitan is made when wheat flour dough is washed with water until all the starch is removed, leaving just insoluble gluten. This gluten is then cooked  and used as a meat substitute.  Yum.  You can get it with a side order of french fries with Rosemary. ($4.91)

It is not a place where you can order a Diablo sammich with a Dr. Pepper.


Next Week:  Can I squeeze out another blog post on this topic?

My Kind Of Place

My generation is called "The Baby Boomers".

It refers to those of us born from 1946 to 1964. The soldiers (and in my case, sailor) came home from World War II with one thing on their minds. They created a population explosion the country hadn't seen before and haven't seen since. That population came with mouths that had to be fed.

And so, the fast food restaurant was born.

One of my earliest memories is coming home from my Aunt Elizabeth's house. Aunt Elizabeth (or as we pronounced it "Lizbeth") had a 'beauty parlor" called "Elizabeth's Style Shop".   She was my mom's "stylist" and mom would have to take me with her when she went to "the beauty parlor" (Aunt Lizbeth's house) because I was too young to leave at home.

We always visited one place on the way back home. A small fast food joint located where Powers Ferry Road met Roswell Road called "Burger Chef". We'd get two burgers and two small bags of fries. The fries were always hot and salty. A love affair was born: me and hamburgers with an order of fries.

It looked like this

Some people are hot dog people. Some people are pizza people.  Some people like tacos. Put me down as a hamburger guy.  I can always eat a hamburger. A piece of meat between two buns.

It was at school I heard of a place that was even better than Burger Chef.  It was called McDonald's.

We had a McDonald's in Marietta, but it was on "The Four Lane" (US 41).  It wasn't that far away from us, but "The Four Lane" was a busy road and Mom didn't want to hassle with making a left-hand turn with a bunch of yard apes in the car.

I'm not sure of the exact date, but I'm pretty sure Nixon was President.  A McDonald's opened on Roswell Road. Soon Burger Chef became the second choice.

McDonald's was pretty nifty back then.

They had a song:  "McDonald's is my kind of place. A clean and snappy place"

McDonald's introduced a new hamburger, "The Big Mac" with a song too. "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun".  That came out in 1974.  45 freaking years ago.  I've had my cell phone number 21 years and still don't know my cell phone number.

You had other fast food joints by then.  Burger King, which lets you have it your way. This was a slap at McDonald's because McDonald's promised you real fast food if you wanted it the way McDonald's made it.

Wendy's came to town. You could actually watch them make your hamburger if you are into that sort of thing.

I liked them all. Burger King's Whopper was good, but their fries were just okay. Wendy's hamburgers were great but their fries were thick and crusty.  McDonald's got you with their fries.

McDonald's started going downhill, in my opinion, when they began to emulate Burger King and Wendy's and to try to satisfy every customer.

At one time, getting more than one pack of ketchup from McDonald's took a subpoena. Lord don't order a hamburger without a pickle. It may take you years to get that burger. Just get the burger as they made it and take the pickle off when you got to your seat. What are you, a Rockefeller?

Now, you can order a Big Mac without a pickle if you want to be a hipster heretic. You can even get iced coffee at McDonald's and it is way better (and cheaper) than at Starbucks.

I purposefully went to McDonald's the other day.  I admit it. Their advertising got me. The sons of Donald Draper hooked me line and sinker to try a Quarter Pounder with bacon.

As the nation gets more anal retentive it is nice to know that while bacon is not good for you, it sure is awesome.  I would say more, but I'm afraid Jim Gaffigan might have it copyrighted.

They also have a new treat: Bacon and Cheese Fries. You can't tell me there's not a God.

Well, my quick review: the Quarter Pounder with bacon was okay. Not as good as I thought it would be, but it wasn't bad. The Bacon and Cheese Fries was bacon bits with that melty cheese you put on nachos.  When you got the cheese and the bacon on the fries, it was pretty good. However, most of it was cheese fries and it is messy. Duh.

Maybe I've outgrown McDonald's.  The best fast food place is Chick-fil-A, hands down. No question. They act like they want you there.  But McDonald's has always been there and will always be there because it is a hap, hap happy place even if the ice cream machine is broken.

Next Week:  The People Speak.