This Week's Picks!

A little of bit of news from Picks Central.

First of all, This Week's Picks will be taking a brief hiatus from this award winning blog. When I say brief, I mean, a couple of weeks. Do not reach for the Xanax.

I will be out of town next week, but I will do a truncated This Week's Picks on my Facebook page. That just happens to be the weekend of the UGA-Tennessee  game, which is always one of my favorite games of the year.

I plan to do a blog about my trip in the first week of October. So, that means another TWP on my Facebook page.

The second week of October is up in the air.  My high school class reunion is that week and I  have to prepare some remarks to entertain my fellow Wheeler alumni.  Here's what I have so far.

"Cafeteria food. Yuck. Am I right?"

"Things were better back then. Not like now. Yuck".

"What's up with the Dewey Decimal System?"

"These kids today with their Hip and Hoppin music."

"My daddy taught me to believe in two things: The First Amendment and boobs".

So, you can see I some more work to do. I might be able to post TWP  here, but it might have to go on Facebook.   In any event, I ask for your patience and just realize I can jinx a team just as well on Facebook as I can here.


This Week's Picks!



Dawgs vs Other Dawgs:  Remember the misty water colored memories of last month when you hadn't given two seconds of a thought to the Georgia-Mississippi State game?  Good times.  I guess when I saw this game on the schedule, I just figured UGA would win . Now, after seeing what State did to LSU, I'm not so sure. They are more settled at quarterback than Georgia and plus their coach is probably the second best coach in the conference. I know that might not be saying much, but it is true.   On top of everything else, I know a ton of  MSU alumni. Lucky me.   Mississippi State wins

Bees vs Kitty Cats from Pittsburgh:  It has been a while since we have seen the smiling face of Paul Johnson roaming the sidelines, looking for some 18 year old freshman to blame for a loss. Pitt just isn't a very good team. Tech should win this game. They will.  Tech wins.

Bama vs Commode Doors: Another game, another Tweet by a Alabama fan complaining about the performance of the guys that squirt the Gatorade into the players mouth. "How n the hale can we win nuther NAT'L CSHIP W/OUT PROPER HYDRATION! LAME".  Vanderbilt's coach Derek Mason is doing the Lord's work in the devil's vineyard, but it's not enough.  Bama wins.

I know this isn't about football, but it is a great redneck meme

Wartigers vs Misery:  Here's a question for you.  Which state in the union has the most cows?  Mooooooosouri (Missouri).  Get it?   Missouri is having one of those years: bad.  Auburn should be better than they are, but they seem like they are stuck in second gear.  Auburn should be able to easily handle Missouri. Hey, it's not like they are Mercer or something. Auburn wins 

It is Five O'Clock Somewhere vs Who's Your Momma:  Did you know that the famous blues singer Blind Willie McTell was from Statesboro, the home of Georgia Southern University. McTell wrote the song Statesboro Blues, which oddly enough is about Georgia Southern's season this year.  The Eagles have only played two games, but they haven't looked good at all. The coach seems a  little out of it, also. In any event, this is a money game. A couple of years ago, Georgia Southern could have possibly beat Indiana. They won't this year.   Indiana wins.

Nobody could sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell

This Week's Picks

This week started out pretty rough. Hurricane Irma hit Florida and left it in a mell of a hess as we Baptists say.  It was so bad that Georgia Tech canceled their game with the University of Central Florida. When was the last time you ever heard of a football game being canceled?

Irma was a "tropical storm" when it hit the Atlanta area. It caused a lot of trees to fall. This means power lines were knocked out. This means homes were left without electricity.

Everywhere except where I live in Cobb County.  The wind blew and it rained but nobody lost trees in my neighborhood. My power stayed on during the entire storm. While all of Atlanta was sitting in the dark, I was at Lowe's picking out tile for my wife's bathroom.

Sorry.

Funny, every time I hear about a hurricane, I think about Jimmy Buffett's "Trying To Reason With Hurricane Season".


           Squalls out on the gulf stream, big storm coming soon
           I passed out in my hammock
          God, I slept till way past noon.
           I stood up and tried to focus, I knew I wouldn't have to look far
           I knew I could use a Bloody Mary,
           So I stumbled next door to the bar. 


There's a lot of people in Texas and Florida trying to reason with Hurricane season. We need to remember them with our prayers and financial support.  Sermon's over.




This Week's Picks!




Big Bad Bulldogs vs Baptist Bulldogs: Just in case you didn't hear, UGA went up to South Bend and beat (by one point)  mighty highfalutin Notre Freakin' Dame.  Anytime anyone beats the Passive-Aggressive Irish (they no longer "fight" since they had an intervention), it is a time of great rejoicing. Particularly this time, when Jawja didn't seem to melt underneath the big lights. They are hosting Samford, which beat my beloved Owls in the longest game ever in the history of college football (technically, it is still being played.)   UGA is just too big.  Georgia wins.

 


Rocky Topped vs Reptiles:  To me, the Tennessee-Florida game really begins the football season. Tennessee somehow beat Georgia Tech while Florida looked bad in the ONE GAME WE WANTED THEM TO LOOK GOOD IN.  I guess Florida is the "better" team. But I'm not sure. I'm going out on a limb and picking Tennessee, but you know, whatever.  Tennessee wins.

Rock Rubbing Tigers vs Lousyville:  Another Confession-I've never really cared for Clemson that much.  I don't get the Orange and Purple stuff. And rubbing the rock as you run down hill. What is that about?  (That is a rhetorical question-please don't answer it.)   However, I really want Clemson to win because Louisville is coached by the spawn of Satan (the real one), Bobby Petrino.  Do you realize Lousiville is Petrino's third coaching job since he left the Falcons ten years ago?  The Lord will answer my prayers and smite Bobby Petrino.   Clemson wins

Ellesyew vs Other Bulldogs:  Here's a story from the History of The State of Louisiana  textbook that all of the seventh graders study in Baton Rouge.  "Years ago, when Boudreaux was a college freshman, being fresh off the farm, and a rather healthy young man, he figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch dis," Boudreaux told him, and proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"  "Sure I can run," said Boudreaux. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" exclamed the excited coach. "But can you pass a football?" Boudreaux rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds.  "Coach," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."   LSU wins

My Beloved Owls vs The Hornets:  If you remember, a couple of weeks ago, an influential Kennesaw State backer, advised President Olens to revoke my diploma because I picked Samford to defeat Kennesaw State.  I am happy to report my diploma is still on the wall.   It will be safe for at least another week.  Kennesaw State wins.

This Week's Picks!

It is not a coincidence that people have been looking forward to this college football season.

For one thing, have you gone to the movies lately?  No?  Well, you're not alone because this summer has been terrible for Hollywood, box office-wise.

There are several reasons for this. One, the movies suck. Two, the movies suck.  Three, the movies suck bad. Four, the movies based on comic books really suck.

This is how bad it is:  my wife and I went to see Despicable Me 3.  Okay, it is a cartoon, but at least it wasn't a sequel to a movie based on a Disney World ride or anything out of "The Marvel Universe".

We missed the matinee. We had to pay the full ticket price. Fortunately, there were loan officers available and we qualified for a Home Equity Line of credit so we could see the movie and get some popcorn.

Verdict:  Despicable Me 3 was okay. Too much Steve Carrell. Not enough Minions.

This Week's Picks!



Our Puppies vs Our Lady:  Generally, UGA doesn't play a marquee game until the last couple of weeks of September. But this time, uncharacteristically, The Dawgs are playing The Fighting Ethnic Stereotypes in South Bend.  Georgia's starting quarterback, Jacob Eason, got hurt in the App State game. Here's what Paul Finebaum says:  "That's a big blow," (Easton's injury). "His replacement, Jacob Fromm was playing high school football a year ago. He's very talented. But Eason won big games last year. He won two on the final possession. Trust me, I am bald headed and wear glasses"   Not to argue with Paul Finebaum, but Eason lost big games last year, too.  Eason was the tenth out of the twelve ranked quarterback last year in the SEC. Sure, you want someone with experience playing in a "big game" like this, but I'm not sure it would make a difference one way or another this year as long as Chubb and Michel are there. Dawgs win.

Wrecked vs Gaming Birds From The Mythical State of Jacksonville:  The Bees welcome Jacksonville State, which is neither in Jacksonville or is a state. You never know about JSU. They gave Auburn fits a couple of years ago. But I just don't see Tech losing this game, but then again, they had 535 rushing yard against Tennessee and still lost.  Tech wins

Georgia Tech Coach Paul Johnson, Tuesday Morning.

 War Eagletigers vs Orange Tigers: The Whatever they are called this week from Auburn travel to The 2016 NCAA Champions Clemson Tigers. Here's a joke for you: Q. What do the Auburn Tigers and Billy Graham have in common?  A: They both can make 75,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.   That's the kind of knee slapping humor you've come to expect from This Week's Picks.  Auburn whooped up on Georgia Southern last week.  Clemson killed Kent State (which is not a state, either).  I just think Clemson is a better than Auburn.  Clemson wins



Sooner or Later, You'll Leave Oklahoma vs Ahia State. I have never liked either one of these schools (Oklahoma or Ohio State). I'm not sure why. They never did anything to me. I've known alumni from both schools and they were very nice people. By the way, did you hear how the Buckeye fan died from drinking milk?  The cow fell on him. (Or maybe that was the Oklahoma fan?)  Anyway, Ohio State wins.



The Place Where I Send My Parents Plus Loans vs The New Hampshire is Same As The Old Hampshire:  Georgia Southern (School Song: "Yes, I Guess, They Ought To Name A Drink After You") welcome the New Hampshire Snowplows Wildcats to Paulson Stadium. I would love to see the face of The New Hampshire players as they drive up from the Savannah airport. "What ahre these wicked swarhamin' things around my face?" The famous South Georgia gnats are Georgia Southern's  secret weapon.  Georgia Southern wins




My Beloved Owls vs Hillbilly Tech:  Last week, my beloved alma mater played the opening game of the season at Samford.  It had a twelve-hour storm delay (give or take a couple of hours). I picked Samford to win because my liberal arts edumacation at Kennesaw State taught me to look objectively at issues and base my conclusions on facts.   I got this response on Facebook from Caric Martin, who was recently elected to The Owls Sports Hall of Fame and whose father taught my Economics class. (I made a B, yeah come on.)  Caric said, "Alan, this is President Olens when I told him that an alumni had picked Samford to win. I suggested he revoke your diploma!"   Thanks, Caric, I knew I could count on you.  Owls win.