This Week's Picks and The Force Awakens

Again, I am forced by my adoring public to address an issue.


The issue:  Why do I like Verne Lundquist?








Answer: Verne Lundquist is a great man, even if what he is describing on the field is not exactly what is showing up on the screen.


There is a meme going around that says: "The only two men in the world (Picture of Verne and his television partner Gary Danielson) that can make grown men mute their TV and listen to their wife during The Big Game!"


If I have seen that meme once, I have seen it a thousand times, mainly posted by Alabama fans. The reason for this is unclear, except that maybe Verne is not nearly reverential enough when it comes to The Crimson Tide.


One person noted that if a woman looked like Verne, she wouldn't be on TV. I have five words in response: Whoppi Goldberg and Joy Behar. They are on TV much more than Uncle Verne.


This week's picks!




The Big Bad Bees vs  Cavies:  In case you didn't know, Georgia Tech beat Florida State on a blocked field goal. If you didn't know, you must not know any Tech fans and all I got to say is: lucky you. I kid, I kid.  I am happy that Tech won and that the Jinx is now history.  Virginia is having a Virginia type of year. Yes, I still have the Virginia t-shirt that when I wear it my rippling muscular body hides the "ia" and people asked me why I am wearing a "Virgin" shirt.  Tech wins and the Jinx is goes back to Jinx land.


Old Mess vs Wartigers:  You never know if you are going to get the good Ole Miss  (beats Bama and TAMU) or bad Ole Miss. Auburn is having one of those years where it can't have nice things.  Ole Miss wins.


Texas State vs Georgia Southern:  Georgia Southern is having another Thursday night game because Thursday is the state of the weekend in Statesboro. The average weekend in Statesboro is from Thursday night to Tuesday morning. Texas State is 2-4 this year, which simply proves that I do know how to use the internet. The Eagles probably lost their chance at a bowl game. They will take their frustrations out against the Bobcats. Georgia Southern wins.


Pups vs Lizards: Well, well, well. Another Halloween, another UGA-UF Hey Let's Get Drunk and Play Fooball. At the beginning of the year, I had a W placed by this game. No way. UGA just isn't that good this year. Florida wins.


The Mighty Hooters vs  I Got Your Owls Right Here:  The Owls lost to the Fighting Falwells last week. They return home to face another Big South Conference opponent Monmouth University, which is in that Deep South state of New Jersey. It is a fairly large school, whose  motto is this: "O quid spectatis?" (Hey, what are you looking at?)  The force doesn't feel right with this one. Monmouth wins.

This Week's Picks and The Goblet of Fire

You thought Mark Richt was going to have a bad week.


A gentleman by the name of Steve Sarkisian was the coach of The University of Southern California Trojans.  The key word in the previous sentence: "was". The New York Daily News reports Coach Sarkisian had a little drinking problem, if you define "drinking problem" as  ordering "91 shots of tequila during two visits to a restaurant, racking up a $1,023 bill."  That's a lot of tequila, Sheila.


Needless to say, USC has fired Sarkisian, especially now it appears he was three sheets in the wind during USC's victory over Arizona State a couple of weeks ago. 


Which brings me back to Coach Richt. If anyone needs to drink in self defense it is Mark Richt.  After last week, I wouldn't be surprised to see Coach Cutie Pie strolling along the sidelines carrying a jug with "XXX" written on it.

This week's picks!


Pitiful Puppies vs Moosuri:  For the third straight season in a row, the best player on the Georgia Bulldogs had a devastating injury that not only took him out of the game, but out of the season. Georgia has lost two games in a row and it is not clear how many more they can win. You never know which Missouri team will show up: the one UGA can beat or the one they can't beat. Mark Richt better hope the bad Missouri team shows up.  UGA wins.


Buzzed vs The Pitts: If you have been following along, you know that there is a controversy about This Week's Picks being a jinx on Georgia Tech.  In fact, one vocal reader always accuses me of being a jinx.   After the Clemson game, which I picked Tech to lose, it suddenly hit me who the Georgia Tech Jinx was: it was this reader!  My evidence: last year this reader did not have Tech season tickets and Tech won the Coastal Division of the ACC.  This year, this reader bought season tickets and Tech is 2-4 and is in last place in the Coastal Division of the ACC.  So it follows that this reader is The Georgia Tech Jinx.  Look you can't argue with math and settled science. Oh yeah, the game. Pitt wins.


Bamy vs Aggie: What should you do if you find three Alabama fans buried up to their necks in cement? Get more cement. Ha, ha. Just a little college humor, for fun. Say, did you hear about the small two seater airplane that crashed in a cemetery near the Texas A&M campus early this morning? So far, the Aggie fire department has recovered 300 bodies.  Tough one to pick, but my one rule is I never pick against Satan Saban.   Bama wins.


Meechigan State vs Meechigan:  Michigan football is back and it is a good thing too because they had to disband the water polo team due to the horses drowning. Michigan State has been winning too, but they haven't been as impressive. If Michigan loses, Jim Harbaugh will kill some people. I'm going with Michigan. Michigan wins.


Reptiles vs Ellesyou:  Oh great, Florida is back too. Which reminds me of this great joke: Why can't they put on a live Nativity scene at Christmas at the University of Florida? Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.  Welcome back, Gators, but I'm thinking the chomping will be done by LSU. LSU wins.


The Mighty Hooters vs Another Type of Bulldog:  Our beloved Owls began their Big South Conference play in this game against Gardner-Webb, the only Baptist institution of higher learning named after Ava Garner and Jack Webb.  The Running Bulldogs are 2-3 for the year, but they have played a tougher schedule than The Owls. This is where we see how good The Owls really are. This is when I have to invoke the Lewis Grizzard rule. He once told me (really) "Always bet with  your head and not your heart".  I would love to see Kennesaw State win, but they won't. Gardner-Webb wins.

This Week's Picks and The Temple of Doom

Look, I didn't buy the hype for a minute.

I knew Georgia was going to lose to Alabama. Georgia always loses to Alabama. I think it is somewhere in the Bible that Georgia must lose to Alabama.

So it was a given that Coach Cutie Pie (Mark Richt) would have a terrible Monday, mainly because it was the day of his call in radio show. The blog, Dawg Nation reports this:

"A man, apparently a surgeon, called into Mark Richt’s radio show on Monday, saying he was a leader like Richt, only in the operating room. There are times, the man said, that he has a “complete debacle in my job,” just as Richt did on Saturday, forcing himself to ask what happened. So what questions, he wanted to know, does it force Richt to ask himself?"

The first question I would have asked: Why did I take this call?

 The second question I would have asked: Nobody, to my knowledge, has ever died during a Georgia debacle. How many have died during any of your debacles?

 The third question I would have asked: You realize that I am leading 18 to 22 year old nitwits in a game that is based on speed and strength while you are leading credentialed professionals trying to save a life?

This Week's Picks!

Water Logged Poochies vs Bad Orange:  This is a must game for both teams. Tennessee is one of those teams that would stop to help you fix a flat tire and somehow managed to set your car on fire. Meanwhile, Coach Butch Jones has supposedly hit a player causing one wit to call him "Rocky Top Balboa".  We learned that UGA is not First Class like Bama, but they sure ain't whatever class Tennessee is now. UGA wins.

Stung vs Good Orange: Lost in the UGA train wreck was the absolute cluster fudge Tech game. Tech lost another game they should have won which makes up for last year when they won games they should have lost. I was banned from watching the game by a certain reader who believes I cause Tech to lose by picking them to win. So, I picked them to lose last week and they still lost. For some reason, known only to Georgia Tech graduates, I am the reason Tech is losing. It has nothing to do with Coach Happy Gilmore's play calling or players that can't or won't tackle. You would think that reader would ban Tech and come over here to The Dark Side. We have cookies. Clemson beat Notre Dame and looked awesome sauce in doing it.  Clemson wins.

Went In Dumb Come Out Dumb Too vs The Cluckers: South Carolina couldn't stop Greyson Lambert. You think they can stop Leonard Fournette?  I'm not sure which coach is more insane: Les Miles or Steve Spurrier. I half way expect Spurrier to be in his robe and slippers by halftime. LSU wins.

I hate to say it but I love this man.

The Mighty Hooters vs The Pointers:  My beloved Kennesaw State Owls lost their first game to Dayton the other day. They have a chance of redemption in their first home coming game against Point University which is the alma mater of my niece. Really. Also, the President of Point University once threw me a game winning touchdown pass in a touch football game. Really.  Despite all of that, I must go with my beloved Owls. KSU wins. 

Bear Bryant once said that "emotion has little to do with winning, football games are won though preparation and mental toughness." Georgia players and fans are much like Auburn players and fans. They act and play as if they are still in high school. Acting like fools and taunting your opponents before games is usually a sure way to lose and lose badly.

Bear Bryant once said that "emotion has little to do with winning, football games are won though preparation and mental toughness." Georgia players and fans are much like Auburn players and fans. They act and play as if they are still in high school. Acting like fools and taunting your opponents before games is usually a sure way to lose and lose badly.

Bear Bryant once said that "emotion has little to do with winning, football games are won though preparation and mental toughness." Georgia players and fans are much like Auburn players and fans. They act and play as if they are still in high school. Acting like fools and taunting your opponents before games is usually a sure way to lose and lose badly.

Bear Bryant once said that "emotion has little to do with winning, football games are won though preparation and mental toughness." Georgia players and fans are much like Auburn players and fans. They act and play as if they are still in high school. Acting like fools and taunting your opponents before games is usually a sure way to lose and lose badly.