This Week's Picks Week Ten

 

Can you believe we are entering week ten of the college football season?

Can you believe Indiana is ranked higher than Alabama, and it is not in basketball?

Can you believe how well Vanderbilt is playing?

Can you believe how poorly Florida State is playing?

Can you believe how well Nick Saban is doing on College Gameday?

Can you believe Texas A&M?

 

This Week's Picks

 

Jawja vs. Florider: This was always a big game. However, it hasn't been very competitive in the past few years because Florida has become a big dope.  There's no Coach Steve or Timmy Tebow anymore. Florida would love to beat Georgia, but I don't think they will. Georgia wins.

Ahia State vs Lions of Nittany:  Another big rivalry game. Penn State is having a whiteout, which means everybody wears white and this will fuel your team to victory.  I have never seen this work.  Ohio State wins.

 

Duckies vs Meechigan:  Oregon is the latest number one and they have stayed number one for a whole two weeks. They are a quick, fast team. They are a well-coached team.  Michigan has a new coach, and they have been up and down.  Oregon is stronger than Michigan.  Oregon wins.

 

Kenyucky vs Tennysee:  Tennessee beat Alabama a few weeks ago, which was a big deal.  They are better than Kentucky, which lost to Auburn.  You do the math.  Tennessee wins.

My Beloved Owls vs Western Kentucky, where my parents were born:  Last week, Kennesaw State won their first FBS game, and the angels sang.  Western Kentucky is in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Famous alumni include the guy who played Roy Biggins on "Wings" and John Prine's grandmother.  They are called "The Hilltoppers," and their mascot is a towel or a blob that looks like a Ronald McDonald reject. Kennesaw State wins.

 

 

Whoppergate

 

I have lived in Cobb County for most of my life. It is a nice place to live.  

However, with growth, came the complications of urban life.

Traffic, crime, crowded schools, and Burger King getting your order wrong. Those are all examples of the challenging environment we now experience in Cobb County.

I know I sound old, but in the good old days, you could go to Burger King and have it your way.

Hold the pickles.

Hold the lettuce.

Special orders don't upset us.

Back then, Burger King loved you and your crazy preferences when it came to hamburgers, which were always flame broiled.

If you wanted hamburgers the way THE MAN wanted them, you went to McDonald's.  And the ice cream machine wasn't working back then, either.

It is not that way anymore.  Today, a man can't even trust that Burger King will get his order right.

The Marietta Daily Journal reports that in March 2023, Cobb County Sheriff deputies raced down Veterans Memorial Parkway in Mableton (which could have been a city then; I don't know; I can't keep up with every place in this county) with "sirens blaring."

The reason:  Burger King did not get Craig Owens's order right.  Mr. Owens said, "I wanted to order her (Mrs. Owens) a Whopper, with no mayo, cut in half."

It has been my experience that most of my orders are not close to what I ordered, but they are close enough for jazz. I like a Whopper without lettuce and tomato. But if I get a Whopper with lettuce and tomato, I remove it and eat the burger. But then again, I'm a loser.

I don't know what they got from Burger King. It probably had mayo and wasn't cut in half. He probably should have ordered it with mayo and ordered it not to be cut. Then, they would have gotten a Whopper with no mayo cut in half.

There is an important fact I haven't mentioned: Craig Owens is the Sheriff of Cobb County.

I grew up watching "Adam-12," which always started with, "One Adam-12, One Adam 12. See the man with the wrong order."

The Marietta Daily Journal reports the deputies originally went to the wrong Burger King. I hope they did it with sirens blaring because that would be so Cobb County.

When the deputies found the right Burger King, Sheriff Owens was there. He told the deputies, "the order he placed for his wife was not what he received. Owens said he informed the assistant manager of the burger blunder, who claimed to have corrected the mistake."

But, according to the Sheriff, it wasn't corrected. He said the assistant manager was a “straight up a- -”* and didn't make things right.

The Sheriff said, "All I need is the owner name, or whoever owns this d- - - facility, or the manager.  I want a name so I can call and complain. That’s all I need. I don’t need no d- - - money back no more, I just need to find out who own this  place so I can do an official complaint to complain about the service.  And maybe some onion rings."**

In case you haven't noticed, this is an election season, and the Sheriff is running for reelection. His opponent found body-cam footage of this incident and posted it on social media. It has hit the news media because, let's face it, I never saw Kojak bust somebody for too much mustard on his hamburger. 

Sheriff Owens says, "The type of call referenced in the video is a business dispute call.  This is a call that ANY citizen can make, and law enforcement will  respond. At no point did I indicate my position, nor did I ask the  responders to do anything that they would not, had not, or have not done for anyone else who makes a business dispute call. I regret that this call, which is made regularly by citizens, is being politicized in an  attempt to win vote.”

What is our lesson from this event?

One, when the Sheriff wants it his way, he wants it his way.

Two, any citizen can make a business dispute call. I didn't know I could do that, particularly with a hamburger.

Third, using your employees who are supposed to be doing something like, oh I don't know, fighting crime, instead of trying to make sure Burger King does it your way is not something to regret. No, it is the politicization of it, because that's wrong. 

Fourth, McDonald's had better get ready because if the ice cream machine isn't fixed, things are about to go down.

 

 

 

* This was taken directly from the Marietta Daily Journal's article about Whoppergate. This ain't Netflix.

** I just added the part about the onion rings.

This Week's Picks Week Eight

 

 

I heard from his brother-in-law that action novelist Allen Gregory went to Maine on vacation.

I don't know if Gregory was scouting new locations for a new book. Prominent time writers do this. Unfortunately, the budget of This Week's Picks does not allow for much travel unless you count picking up breakfast on Friday mornings at the local Chick-fil-A.  

Every Friday morning, I go to Chick-fil-A with Mrs. Picks to get a Hash Brown Scramble Bowl. It consists of cheese, "hash browns" (what Chick-fil-A calls Tater Tots), scrambled eggs, and cut-up chicken. We don't say it enough in West Cobb County, but it is divine. 

Mr. Gregory sent me a picture of himself standing in front of Stephen King's house in Portland, Maine, which impressed me because I didn't know King lived there.  (In Portland, Maine or the house.)

He said he saw King digging a hole in his (King's) backyard.

A couple of things.

1) In the world of writing, Stephen King is a legend because he writes books that people like to read. People actually buy his books, including the one about the car that came to life and would run people over. I didn't read the book because it sort of sounded like "My Mother, The Car." If you never saw that TV show, just be aware that it was scary.  In any event, he makes a lot of scratch, if you know what I mean.

2) You would think King would have people dig a hole for him.

3)  I was under the impression that King was a vampire and would not be able to go out into the sunlight.  I guess that theory was wrong. 

This Week's Picks!

Jawja vs Texsass: In the Kirby Smart era, I am trying to remember how many times I didn't pick Georgia in a regular season game when they were not playing Alabama. (Not many.) As we say down here, howevah, times have changed.  Despite the way they have played, Georgia is a very good team.  Carson Beck is a great quarterback, and he can throw darts.  The defense seems a little immature. Two penalties in the Mississippi State contest kept the Upright Bulldogs in the game.  I'm not quite sure how good Texas is. They beat Michigan, and I'll give them that. They look stronger than Georgia.  Texas wins. 

The Rambles vs Our Lady:  The Bees at the Benz to play Notre Dame.  Notre Dame is always overrated. Tech has The Manis Curse to deal with. I would like to see Tech win. They won't.  Notre Dame wins. 

Bamy  vs Tennaysay:  One thing you can say about Tennessee-they are low down. They are also snitches. Anyway, Alabama should've/could've/would've lost to The Chickens, which would have been the second highlight of the season.  Tennessee should've/could've/would've lost to Florida, but the Lord heard Rocky Tops prayers.  Bama is having growing pains under Coach Not Named Saban.  Tennessee wins.

Ellesyou vs Arky:  This ought to be a pretty good game nobody cares about. I'm going with LSU because they tripped me up last week. LSU wins. 

Jimmy Madison vs Jawja Southern.  Lost in the season is my son's Georgia Southern Eagles, who are playing some good ball. They beat Marshall last week, which is a big deal in Statesboro. James Madison is 5-1 while Georgia Southern (lyric from their school song: "Drunk, Drunk, Drunk keep screaming for more") is 4-2. Sorry, son.  James Madison wins. 

 

*This Week's Picks will not be published for the week of October 21-26. 

 

 

This Week's Picks Week Seven

 

 

In history, man has wondered: Is there a kind and loving God? This question was answered with a resounding yes last Saturday.

Vanderbilt beat Alabama.

Alabama fans took this loss with a grain of salt. Shucks, you can't win them all. Good for Vandy, long the doormat of the SEC.  Yeah, right.

Maybe there was one Bama fan like that. The other type is a regular caller/listener to The Paul Finebaum Show. There is one who calls himself "The Legend," (due to his modesty) and he is the chairman of the English Department at the University of Alabama. I say, I say, I say, that's just a joke, son. We don't know how The Legend earns his money, but he has a fantastic way with words.

He said, "Alabama doesn’t lose to Vandy.”  Well, not in the past forty years. 

The Legend continues, "Bill Curry didn’t lose to Vandy. Mike DuBose didn’t lose to Vandy. Mike Shula didn’t lose to Vandy, forty years. You (DeBoer) have been here 4 weeks and you already lost to Vandy. Strike friggin’  one dude, strike friggin’ one.”   I thought it would have been a combined strike one and two, but we've gone soft over the years.

He ended it with this analogy: "You know what this is equivalent to? This is equivalent to coming home  and finding your wife in bed with the neighbor. That is what this (loss) is equivalent to. You may stay with her for the kids’  sake, but you can never trust the woman again. The same thing is true  with Coach DeBoer."  Yeah, but your wife didn't play in the National Championship last year.

 

This Week's Picks!

Jawja vs Upright Walking On Two Legs Bulldogs:  Georgia managed to escape the upset bug that bit Tennessee (ha, ha) and Alabama (hahahahahahahaha) last week, while Mississippi State had a bye.  They've had a pretty tough year so far, and if there is something we've learned about the SEC this year, anything can happen.  But it won't, Georgia wins.

Rambles vs. Heels of Tar: Lost in all of the upset talk last week was Tech's defeat of Duke. The Bees are now 4-2. The Tar Heels are 3-3 and have lost the three previous games. You never know what you are going to get the Tar Heels, so I am climbing back onto the bandwagon.  Tech wins

 

Quacks vs Ahia State: This is the whoop-de-do big game of the week.  I think Ohio State is a better team. Even if Chip Kelly (or is it Brian) is the offensive coordinator, Ohio State wins. 

Ole Mess vs Ellesyou. Two excellent teams. I think Kiffin, as much I hate to say it, is a better coach than Brian Kelly (or is it Chip?).  Ole Miss wins. 

 

Texsass vs Okies. The Hank Hill Shoot Out on The Red River. Texas is number one for a reason. Texas wins.

 

Middle of Tennysay vs My Beloved Owls (Tuesday, October 15) Last Friday was another loss for MBO (My Beloved Owls for you keeping score at home.)  Kennesaw State is now receiving attention,but not the kind it wants. This week's SEC Shorts shows Kennesaw State in the FBS basement with Rice, FSU, and UMass. Well, you have to start somewhere.  This week, Kennesaw State travels to Murfreesboro, Tennessee, the home of Middle Tennessee State University and The Slick Pig BBQ restaurant.  The good news for Kennesaw State is Middle Tennessee is playing Louisiana Tech on Thursday night and then has to play Kennesaw State on Tuesday.  They have also only won one game so far this year. So, I'm saying we have a chance.  Owls win.

 

 

This Week's Picks Week Six

 

 

As you know, I listen to "The Bulldog Brunch"  on WSB when I can.

It is broadcast live from The Hilltop Grill in Athens, Georgia, which has the best brunch in Athens. I've never had brunch in Athens, so I'll have to take their word for it.

I was able to listen on the Sunday after the Alabama game. The day after a loss for any college football team is always glum.

That Sunday's broadcast was no different. The fans called the show, offering their "takes." Most of the "takes" should have been "taken" elsewhere. I think winning two National Championships in the past three years allows you to cut Kirby and Company some slack.

But still, losing to Alabama always sticks in your craw because Alabama always wins. Not always, just most of the time. 

Everybody was down. The broadcast guy said, "Come on down to The Hilltop Grille and have a bacon-wrapped shrimp.  You'll feel better."

I think instead of pills and going to a psychiatrist, we should instead have a piece of bacon-wrapped shrimp to make us feel better. 

As Jim Gaffigan has said, bacon is the food you add to other food to make it taste better. Shrimp is never bad, either.

If the sky above you grows dark and full of clouds, just go to Athens, Georgia, and eat some bacon-wrapped shrimp. You'll feel better. 

This Week's Picks!

Jawja vs WarTigers. Yes, the Dawgs had a rough time in T-Town, but they came back and almost won the game.  That would have been epic, but you know, Christmas is in December.  Auburn is having a tough year down on the Plains.  Georgia is just the better team. UGA wins.


Dook vs Bumbles.  Here's some news: Duke is 5-0. Really. No joke.  They haven't really played anybody, but a win is a win. Tech is 3-2 with the wins against a stinky FSU team, Georgia State, and VMI.  I'm not buying that Duke is all that hot. On the other hand, Tech is still Tech. (Yes, I've jumped off the bandwagon.)  Flip a coin.  Duke wins. 

 

Tennysay vs Bacon Bits  Tennessee is a very good team. Arkansas isn't. You'll be hearing "Rocky Top" a lot on Saturday. Great.  Tennessee wins.



Misery vs The Ags.  Missouri is having a pretty good year so far. Texas A&M's record looks good, but meh.  They lost to Notre Dame, the only other ranked opponent they've played.  Here's a fun question.  Which state in the union has the most cows?  Moosuri. Missouri wins.

Jacksonville State vs My Beloved Owls.  So far, the move to the FBS has been hard on the Owls.  But if it makes you feel better,  Jacksonville State has won only one game. However, it was against Southern Mississippi, a pretty big school. (Famous alumni: Jimmy Buffett, Brett Farve, Mr. Hines, and Miss Love.  The last two were teachers of mine at Wheeler High School. Go Cats!)  I'm worried about the Owls, but I'm a believer. Owls win.

 

 

 

 

The Worst

 

 

I know I speak for all Americans when I say we live in the best country in the world but have the worst people who want to lead it.

I'm enough of a history student (and have lived through plenty of it) to admit this has been a complaint every four years.  Still, this year ranks right up there with Pierce versus Scott. (Pierce won.)

The Republicans renominated for the third time, Donald Trump.

Donald Trump didn't deserve to be nominated the first time, must less a third time.  But as they say on ESPN, it is what it is. 

Now, the pros and cons of Donald Trump have been discussed and debated ad nauseam (Latin for "a lot") for eight years.  We know what he is good at (his "brand," whatever that is) and staking out a position on something that you do not understand what he is saying.

He has this tendency to muddy up the waters on an issue because he really can't explain his position. This has something to do with his ability to play 4-D Chess.

Take, for example, the Haitians in Springfield, Ohio.  Trump latched on to a story about Haitian immigrants eating dogs and cats ( or, as he said, "doogs") instead of getting to the real problem of the 20,000 Haitians arriving since 2020 to a town of 60,000 that did not have per-existing Haitian population. 

That's a lot of people a small Midwestern town is expected to absorb. On the bright side, if you can speak fluent Creole French, I think I know where you can get a job.

Trump could have made a compelling argument about immigration. Instead, he sounded like a Yahoo.

On top of this, Trump is spending his campaign time selling coins and watches.

Can you imagine John Kennedy in a commercial in 1960? "It is time for a new generation, and you can get the time on your new John F. Kennedy watch by Timex." 

After the first assassination attempt, Trump had an opportunity to present a new Trump- a Trump that isn't so Nutsy Fagen.

That lasted about 30 minutes into his acceptance speech.  He spent the rest of the 90-minute speech giving the crowd his greatest hits like he was REO Speedwagon ("Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who.")

The other side is not any better.  After it became apparent that President McGoo had no idea what year it was, the Democrats got Nancy Pelosi and Former President Obama to muscle the President out of running for his renomination.

To keep things smooth, everyone agreed that Vice President Harris should be the nominee because, well, shut up.

The problem is the idea of President Harris might look good on paper, but then she opens her mouth. What comes out is as confusing as Trump and contradicts what she said in 2019. (Not that it is a bad thing to contradict what she said in 2019 because most of it was loopy.)

In 2019, she ran as a super Progressive. This time, she is running as a "moderate," which means she owns a gun.

She was on TV a lot in 2019. I never heard a word about growing up middle class or working at McDonald's (she says she worked on the fries). 

She talks about falling out of coconut trees and looking at the economy "holistically".

"Madame Vice President, what are you going to do about the economy?"

"Growing up middle class, I learned Piggly Wiggly would gouge customers and I promise not to let Piggly Wiggly do it again."

Her big plan is not to let grocery stores gouge their customers.  What?  When did grocery stores gouge customers?  During the pandemic?  

But one thing both candidates have in common.  Neither one knows how to think.

Trump is all reaction. He doesn't sit around and think.  He sits around and stews. 

Harris can't provide detail or explain why she has transformed from a San Francisco progressive to Middle Class Mom in five years. Could it be she was just saying what she had to in order to get in good with the cool kids at the cool table?

Trump is for no income tax on tips because, he sat around, and thought why not?  Harris selected Tim Walz as a running mate because the Mean Girls in the Democratic Party aren't thrilled with Israel. 

The bottom line this year is the old Woody Allen quote: "More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

 

 

This Week's Picks Week Five

"Squall's out on the gulf stream, Big storm's comin' soon"  ~Jimmy Buffett

 

Just to give you some inside baseball, we have a hurricane coming to town, which means either death or destruction.  Or both. You can never tell about hurricanes.

We here at Picks Central held a special emergency meeting and our COO, Trudy I. Manis, advised us to publish a day or so sooner. Just to be on the safe side. 

 

This week's picks!

 

Jawja vs Bamy. The big game of the week. I really can't say anything funny about it. However, Sports Illustrated says it best: "Nobody really knows how to feel going into this game, and everyone can envision an avenue where both teams win this football game. Nick Saban may not be on the other sideline across from Kirby Smart this time, but everything points to this being another classic college football dynasty showdown within the SEC realm."  I'm picking Georgia because I think Kirby really, really, really wants to win this. But, you know, Alabama has a way with Georgia.  Georgia wins (barely).

 

Lousyville vs Our Lady:  Louisville took care of Georgia Tech last week.  Who knows what you are going to get with Notre Dame.  Louisville is a better team.  Louisville wins. 

Illinoize vs Lions of Nittany:  The fighting Illinois bois against Penn State.  Illinois has won four games, but they haven't played Penn State yet. That should make a difference. Penn State wins.

Ahia State vs Meechigan State: Ah yes, the Buckeyes are having another great year while Michigan State is still in Michigan.  Ohio State wins.

Jawja Southurn vs. Jawja Stayed: Georgia Southern (school song: "I gotta get drunk, and I sure do dread it") travels to 'Lanuh to play Georgia State. It's GSU versus GSU.  GSU wins!

University of Tennessee-Martin vs My Beloved Owls.  "At UT Martin, you’ll be part of a caring and close-knit community who will challenge you to do your best, encourage you to follow your dreams and support you through every step of your academic journey."  I will translate this:  "At UT Martin, you'll be in West Tennessee, which doesn't even have a Bucee's".  They are an FCS school, which should help the Owls since the transition to FBS has been, um, challenging. Owls win.